Guys, I don't know what to do, My boner is so confused.last weekbe mehanging
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Guys, I don't know what to do, My boner is so confused.
>last week
>be me
>hanging out at friends place for D&D
>sometimes takes a break and walks around the house
>see his single mom just chilling out
>his mom is super funny and nice
>wide hips, huge ass, very curvy.
>hottest milf ever
>invites me to talk with her
>we joke around and she always calls me "sweetheart"
>I was always her favorite
>she starts talking to me about some movies that are out at the time
>I recently got a job at the movie theaters
>I tell her I can get her a free movie ticket if she goes with me
>she gets very excited
>she says "as long as you're buying dinner first, anon"
>we laugh
>I look at her and say "It's a date"
>Fast forward to last weekend
>get a text from an unknown number
>"hey anon, its me. Anon's friend's mom, i was wondering if you were going to pick me up for our date ;)"
>I was confused and replied "Of Course, I wouldn't leave you waiting"
>I honestly thought she was kidding.
>I dress in a nice flannel and make my way over
>I stop by the house and she opens the door
>dickisdiamonds.jpg
>she's all did up, beautiful make-up, black skinny jeans, and a nice blouse
>She just stares at me and smiles
>"well, anon, where's my hug?"
>I give her a strangely intimate hug,trying to hide my erection
Should I go on?
Tentatively lurking
No since this didn't happen.
>I dress in a nice flannel
>nice flannel
>flannel
If it happened post the texts.
>>599211258
i dont care if this is pasta, contiue, good waiter
Go on, even though it is bullshit
Even if it is just a fantasy I will root for the milf hunter protagonist of this story.
>>599212184
mfw op didn't type this shit up in advance
>She doesn't seem to notice my dick
>she let's go and tells me we should go to Olive Garden
>I haven't eaten all day and Italian sounds nice
>It's about a 10 minute drive
>we jam out to Earth, Wind, and Fire
Please don't bully me. I like disco, okay?
>While we were listening to some tunes, she starts telling me about her ex husband
>he apparently used to be this suave young man when they first met, but he became bitter
>she says the my friend needs a good role model (he's kind of a dick)
>I say, "I hope you both find someone to help you guys out"
>I hear her say something under her breath
>My mind goes crazy because I feel like she said something along the lines of "I FOUND YOU ANON" or "YOU'RE ALL THE MAN I NEED"
>we park and make our way to the restaurant
> I haven't been here since I was a kid
> It's a lot less fancy than I thought
> Those breadsticks though
>We're about to be seated at a regular table in the middle of the room
>As I'm about to sit, she looks at our waiter and asks if we can get a booth near the back
>I'm confused at why she asked that
>the waiter, of course, leads us to the back of the room in this low lit booth that's against the window.
I'll continue in a minute, sorry for the slow posting.
>>599211578
>>599211575
so far this is a nice story, i too shall stay for the dinosaur/belair or whatever
>>599212448
Bully you?
Earth Wind and Fire are fanfuckingtastic.
polite bump
bampin'
please go on
Continue pls
Plot twist: it wasn't an olive garden, it was Applebys.
Continue Pls
Bamp
Bidibamp
>>599213332
OH DANG MAH TRIPS
bumping. OP puh-lease nigga you're so slow
>>599213479
That's not how GETs work silly
continue pls
Must
Not
Let
This
Die
>>599213583
aw shit
>>599213096
Plot twist: it was actually Chilis
>>599212410
Sorry, anon
Back to the story
>We're deciding on what to order
> I get the Artichoke Fritti and she get's the Smoked Mozzarella
> We start talking about movies
>I can't help but notice that there's a lot of people here
>The waiter comes by
>after he takes our order he asks if I was her son
>She giggles
>before I say that we're just friends, she confidently says "this young gentleman is my date", as she glances a smile towards me
>sweatingman.jpg
>The waiter nods and tells us to enjoy our Valentine's Day
>I suddenly realize what day it was
>After he leaves, she giggles some more
>"You look so cute, anon"
>I look at her, and say."I just did';t know I was your Valentine's, is all"
> She's giving me the bedroom eyes
>I'm really nervous and confused
>Meanwhile my dick is becoming a fucking brand new gemstone
> We get our food and we start talking about work and life
>she's pretty stoked that I get free movies
>I get two, non stackable movie tickets a day
>When I tell her that, she sighs and says "I wish I had a boyfriend who worked there, or a boyfriend at all"
>Holy shit, knows my chance to be a suave mother fucker
>I look at her and my mind goes blank for a second.
>"well I'm your date, so that's like, enough for today, right?"
>FUCK ANON YOU FUCKED UP
>I get nervous at the sight of her embarrassingly chuckling
>"What I meant to say is..."
>I notice she's gesturing to grab her hand
>I do
>"Oh Sweetie, you're too cute. I wouldn't want anyone else to take me out today"
>I calm down a bit, she must mean that in a motherly way... right?
Pls continue op
Can we move this along some?
>>599213712
You dropped you spaghetti
OP is slower at telling stories than a fucking Down syndrome
Plot twist #2: the daily tickets actually can be stacked.
>>599213712
bruh, like plaese keep going, but THIS took you like 16 minutes..
>>599213988
Dubs confirms
fuck op if you get laid off of this I will be both angry and relieved
>>599213712
no she didnt mean that in a motherly way, she wants the d
>>599213712
DID YOU FUCK HER OR NOT!?!?
>>599213712
It's pity
You are a teenage boy that doesn't get many girls, mostly because of d&d games, you were wondering around her house randomly and walked in on her watching tv, so she was polite and asked you to come watch with her. When she found out she could get a free movie, she thought you were hinting at a date when you started talking about movies, because you wanted to go see one with her
She doesn't care what others think, or they must know you are just a problemed virgin, so she tells the waiter you are her date
OR
You don't really have a mother, so she takes it upon herself to give you a mother figure, saying you are her favourite, watching tv when you are wondering around randomly etc to give you that love you never had. You, having mother issues think she is attractive because you never had someone being that nice, like a mother but because you are a little bit older (15-18 I'm guessing, best chance is 17) you take it for love
>>599214250
2/10 for making me reply
assuming OPs fanfiction is even true, I guarantee that she wants the d
>>599214250
so, you've read a bit about Freud on Wikipedia, bit of Jung, bit of /b/ mind faggotry and you think you are now the smartest one.
or such a obvious troll.
>>599214250
I think they had deep, balls inserted anal.
>As our dinner continues,I feel more calm around her
>Her older complexion is a lot more sexy under the warm lit restaurant
>As soon as I let my guard down, I feel a strange sensation
>I see her, resting her chin on her hands, giving me a slight grin
>I start to blush a bit
>A soft touch is running up my leg
>holy shit is that her foot?
>I don't lose my cool, I slowly lift my foot up
>As I awkwardly pat around the ground, I find her foot and softly rub it
>She giggles
>I can't help but smile
>Her foot never went up above my knee
>suddenly feel her foot go away for a second
>>she bites her lip a bit and I suddenly feel her foot on my inner thigh
>Holy shit
>My dick is about to reach maximum overdrive
>She starts slowly rubbing her toes closer to my dick
>I stand up and tell her I have to use the restroom
>"O-ok anon"
>I go in the bathroom to wash up
>Holy shit, she does want the D
>I go back to her and I notice she looks a bit down
>As I sit back down, she tells me that's she's sorry and how really immature that was
>I tell her that I overreacted and I was enjoying her company
>She seems dissatisfied anyway and asks that I can take her home if I want to call it a night
>Wait, nows my chance
>I pull up my Employee card, and say "What's a date without some entertainment"
>Her smile returns and she get's excited
>I go to the front desk to pay
>She's standing right behind me
>as I bend over to sign the receipt (I'm pretty tall), I feel a slight brush on my butt, followed by a very soft giggle
>she giggle a lot
Sorry I'm posting slow. I've never done a greentext story like this
>we get to the movie theater
>I go and talk to the guy selling tickets
>I know him well, so it's not hard to pick up the tickets
>we decided to watch The Game on the way in.
>you just lost it.
>>599214562
This guy ;)
>>599214562
>balls inserted
jesus fuck why would you even
>>599214519
what the fuck is Freud and Jung
/b/ is gay, the only thing that it has helped me learn is that traps are hot as fuck. Lel. This is just what I think. Mostly the second one
And nop, I'm not the smartest one here. It's anonymous you fucking faggot
>>599214515
>2/10 for reply
She doesn't want the D, she is his mother figure. The role model bit for his friend is just an older brother. OP is probably about 17, hanging around with 15 year olds.
>>599214562
mmm
>>599214613
Nigga he has his own tickets ain't u even readin
>>599214598
Its okay OP do your best
>>599214598
>>My dick is about to reach maximum overdrive
Thats called fully torqued anon :)
>>599214726
For the lelz
>>599214780
yeah you're wrong
decent bait though
>>599214862
If i'm wrong that what is the right reason?
Plot twist #3: the thing that brushed your ass was her penis. OP was the one receiving balls inserted anal.
>>599214780
>not knowing who Freud and Jung are
Go back to leddit kiddo
>tfw no cute milf footjob in the restaurant
why...
>>599214921
Nigga that bitch put her foot on his dick ainr you even readin
>Go to the box office at my work
>Notice there's a large line
>She looks displeased and sighs
>I'm getting a lot more confidence by just being with her
>I tell her to follow me
>We make our way through the crowd and she seems a bit worried of getting lost
>I grab her by the hand and make my way towards the side of the building
>I knock on the door and my co worker opens it
>"Anon, we have a huge line, what're you doing"
>"Move, dude, I'm grabbing myself some tickets"
>"Fine, Anon"
>I quickly ring myself up an Employee pass (free movie and free concession under 20 dollars)
>I look and my date looks very impressed
>We walk in, and I'm hesitant to hold her hand
>As I say hi to all my coworkers, she looks at me and jokes by saying "Anon, are you too embarassed to hold my hand again"
>I start to blush, and I take her hand into mine.
>She gives me a surprised look and tells me that she was just joking
>I look back, and despite my embarrassment, I tell her "well this isn't a joke"
>>599214932
10/10
>>599215088
>"well this isn't a joke"
alpha as fuck
you're making me believe in living again anon
>>599215088
"well this isn't a joke"
>mfw
>>599215023
nigga where?
>>599214976
Hang on, Googling it
>>599215194
Kek''d
>>599215357
>Hang on, Googling it
what a fucking time we live in
>>599215088
The amount of blushing you're doing must be deflating your hard penis.
>>599215357
Nigga u aint>>599215357
even readin
>>599215357
Where the fuck were you in 10th grade?
>>599215380
go kek yourself m9
>>599211258
bumping this is gold
>>599215407
>2015
Still not using Ask Jeeves in the superior Safari™ browser.
>>599214932
I like to think OP requested just the one ball in, so the other can still slap around.
You mad gay son.
>>599215453
Im not yours
>>599215407
>>599215450
I know what a Feud is, but is Jung a psychiatrist?
>>599215507
sounds like ask a jew
>>599215507
Fuck you Bing Bar represent.
>>599215088
mfw "well this isn't a joke"
>>599215570
No, it's free.
>>599215380
>>599215407
>>599215419
>>599215432
>>599215450
>>599215453
>>599215498
>>599215507
>>599215540
>>599215543
>>599215561
>>599215586
GET. THIS. SHIT. OUT. OF. MY PASTA. THREAD.
>>599215507
well that's a blast from the past
>I quickly ring myself up an Employee pass (free movie and free concession under 20 dollars)
OP is a fucking baller
>>599215660
go bump yourself m8
>>599215660
fuck you! bitch! you suck mom dick bitch!
fuck you! rasist
>>599215660
Post pic of momma
>>599215088
I'LL TRY TO SKIP TO THE GOOD BITS
>We go in and see Kingsmen
>She really likes the whole British Spy genre
>We actually bonded over James Bond when we first met
>After the movie, we walked out and I started doing a shitty Brit Bong accent
>She seems more at ease with me, her laughs are a lot less contained and a lot more genuine
>After I say goodbye to my coworkers who were unfortunate to work tonight, my date see's one of her friends
>They freak out like most women do and start talking about life and stuff.
>I'm just waiting for them to finish up
>Her friend finally turns towards me and says :I see you finally caught yourself a fish, or should I say gupee"
>thefuck.png
>My date just looks at her with a sassy look and says, actually, this young man is my... date for tonight
>Her friend laughs and looks at me
>"It looks like he could be your son"
>We both just laugh it off, but I can tell it kind of hurt her
>The friend leaves and I put my hand on her shoulder
>"Don't let it get to you, I bet she's watching 50 Shades by herself tonight"
>She laughs, it seemed to cheer her up
>Her head turns upwards towards me
>"I bet she's jealous I still got game" and pokes my nose
>>599215088
FUCKING HURRY UP CUNT
>>599215708
>>599215737
you just got meme'd on
>>599215561
Oh Jesus Christ
Go smoke a cigar
>>599215804
>mfw
Plot twist #4: OP is Michael Jackson and his poked nose falls off.
>>599215804
>bonded over James Bond
oh you
Losing interest quickly
>>599215972
Yeah just get to the anal scene already OP.
>>599215804
do you bone or am I sticking with you for no reason
>>599215972
Fuck off then impatient cunt no one gives a fuck
>>599215804
>I blush
>She smiles at me and says
>"Jet fuel can't melt steel beams"
>mfw
>>599215660
Get your pasta out of our shit thread you sloppy cunt
>>599215951
kek
>>599216204
Why would you cry though?
>>599216204
top keks
>>599215600
Nope, just chuck testa
>>599216257
Because 9/11 was a fucking tragedy?
>>599215804
>Driving home
>We laugh about how today was really fun
>As we pull up to the drive way, I ask if I can walk her towards the door.
>She smiles and says "I would be offended if you didn't"
>Our hands brush against one another on our way there
>When we reach over there, I give her a very close hug
>I mean really close, crotch to crotch
>The warmth of her body against the cool air was turning me on
>She whispers in my ear "This was a great night, thanks Anon. I needed this"
>I pause, then say "Yeah, is there anything else you need?"
>She loosens up her grip "What do you mean?"
>I feel all my confidence building up
>Heart racing
This song is playing in my mind https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT6LFOIofRE
>I refuse to choke up
>"Who said this night had to end here?
>>599216335
your birth was a tragedy don't see me crying about that do ya
>>599216266
no its not , over used memes still kekken you son?
>>599216361
inb4 dinosaur
Plot twist #5: the real song playing in OPs head was https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N8P1oGF2nnA
Keep this shit going
>>599216361
>says " but your my sons friend"
> i say " your right maybe we shouldn't "
> we hug tightly again for a little longer
> i go home
Go all in, op. ALL FUCKING IN!
>>599216719
Reasonable ending
>>599216719
kek
>>599216647
The fuck did i just watch
Give us a pic of her OP, dont be a dick.
>>599216719
kek
>>599216759
OP goes all in.
Turns out he has 72 off and the hungry bitch has bullets.
>>599216911
Gtfo boot
>>599216361
>She asks "do you know what pegging is?"
>She opens the door
>I get on the floor
>Now my anus is really sore
>>599215944
WHERE IS YOUR FACE
ALL I SEE ARE DUBS
>>599216361
hurry up op before 404
Plot twist OP's date is actually his friends trans father.
OP fast forward to the scene where you have anal on her white couch when she suddenly gets diarrhea from her undercooked dinner.
>I walk her into her house
>we creep past her sons bedroom
>we hear odd noises coming from the room
>she opens the door to her sons room
>she screams, as she sees her son bent over doggy style with his asshole torn apart
>its all ogre now
>I beg for Shrek to fuck my ass, but it's all ogre
>I'm a mess
>filled with rage a jealousy towards her son
>I suck shreks cum out of her sons ass while she watches
>I gargle it
>Shrek is love
>Shrek is life
>>599217211
Dubby wubbies
>>599217139
Oh my...
I don't know what I expected
>>599217265
k you need to leave this website.
>>599217265
I'm not even mad
Bump.
OP you marvelous bastard, this better be good!
ur 2 sl0w, g0tt4 5p33d up ^
>>599216361
>"I would like that, very much anon"
>OH SHIT WAIT DOES THIS MEAN PUSSY
>She softly giggles
>Her hands shake as she tries to fish out her keys
>I suddenly remember that her son, my friend might be home
>"Wait! What about [your son]? Isn't he home?
>"N-no, he's staying at his dads
>He goes to his dad's every other weekend
>He went last weekend
>I tell her this
>"well I sent him off this week too, because how would he react to you taking his mom on a date, duh"
>Muh dick
>I step in and the first thing I notice is that there's a wine glass already at the table
>She makes her way over to it
>Asks if I want a drink
>"Isn't that illegal"
>She flashes a smile "Don't worry, you're under adult supervision"
>I pop that shit open, and share a couple of drinks
>I've never had wine, it tastes okay
>Meanwhile, she's enjoying every drip of it
>"you enjoying the wine?
>She looks at me "Not just the wine" and she winks at me
>We listen to music and decide to go to her room
>She has a big tv and some comfy looking bedding
>As I get in, I ask her what movie she wants to do
>She slowly sits down on the side of the bed
>"Anon, what do you think of me?"
>I look confused
>"You're amazing, smart, funny, and... "
>"And what?"
>"uhh.." Don't lose your cool anon "Gorgeous..."
>She smirks" just gorgeous?"
>Her cute mannerisms and kind demeanor suddenly transformed into this very determined, sexy babe
>"A lotmore than gorgeous, you're Exquisite"
>Exquisite?! Really, anon, that wasn't hot at all
>She starts to slump onto the bed, and looks at me in the eye
>"Do you like me?"
>>599217422
>▶
▶▶
OH GODD
>>599217422
Dude come on hurry the fuck up now
> "no, fuck off"
> the end
>>599217422
>no bye
>the end
>>599217422
muh dick
Hurry up OP.
Prepare for the troll, men!
I sense incoming spaghetti
>no I like your son
>the end
>>599217610
are you black? cause you just stole my post.
>>599211258
Just get to the part where she touches your dick or whatever fag fantasy you made up while you pound your tiny cock into oblivion, in your moms basement
>>599211258
>>599217422
Op dubbing it out
I dare you, op!
Holy craP. Come on OP. Dick is waiting
HURRY THE FUCK UP. STOP TYPING IT OUT SO MUCH YOU CUNT - THE DICK IS WAITING.
>>599217693
yeah , but you're still lurking and waiting nervously for OP to get to the fun part
hihiheh
>>599217422
>as the clock ticks and it becomes night time
>she asked if I liked her, but I didn't know what she meant
>i...i...
>before I could spit out the right words
>she transformed into Fiona
>I am in shock
>she asks do you still like me anon?
>I really don't know what to say at this point..
>she grabs me and pulls me on top of her green ogre body
>she tells me it's not ogre yet
>she pulls my arms down and holds me with her strength
>Shrek flies in through the window
>he yells "this is my swamp!"
>he rips my pants down
>but I don't resist
>I relax my sphincter and take his big green cocktail
>he plows the life in and out of me as Fiona whispers into my ear
>"Shrek is love, Shrek is life"
Go op go !
>>599218078
Not OP
cmon gooooooooooooooo
I NEEEEEED THIIIIS
>>599218220
You don't say ?
>>599218220
>Shrek is love
>Shrek is life
>inb4 Bel Air
>>599218279
I dunno just casting a light, you know some one is gonna go....daaaaaw you got me op gr8 b8 m8.
Fucking hurry anon
>>599218078
>Shrek pasta
Kill yourself newfag
>>599217422
THIS IS THE REAL OP, IT'S ALMOST DONE I SWEAR
>I have a frog in my throat
>Sweating.png
>"Of course I like you, why wouldn't I"
>She looks at me, "how much?"
>I start to fidget a bit because of my rockhard dick
>She notices and slowly reaches towards my
>Before I can think of what next to say, she pulls down the blanket all the way to my knees
>She notices the very obvious bulge in my pants
> I see a familiar smile on her face again
>She starts to blush while I'm sweating up a flood
>She looks at me again, and I fucking lose my shit
>I start unbuttoning my pants
>"Anon, wait, I didn't mean to..."
>But before she can say anything else, I fully whipped out my dick
>I'll admit, I'm not huge or anything. About 7 in
>"I like you a lot, and I know you like me too"
>"Anon... I was just teasing... I didn't, I mean..."
>Row row fight the powa.mp3
>I look at her, with a newly found, boner induced confidence
>"Come on, we both know by know this is what you needed."
>She giggle again
>Fuck was that bad?!
>"Oh Anon..."
>She extends her hands outward, as if going in for a hug
>Notice her blouse is almost comletely unbuttoned
>When did she do that
>I sit up and I embrace her and her warm, curvy body
>"Are you sure we should do this" she asks?
>I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just went for it
>Before I knew it, I felt her tongue wrapped around mine
>She starts sighing as we do it
>My hands are unbuttoning the rest of her blouse
> Her soft belly is rubbing against my dick
>I feel her hand, all of a sudden start stroking my shaft
>Jesus Christ
As soon as I get off her blouse I pull my head away
>"Anon" she's now panting, "take it off"
>She lays down on the bed with her legs high in the air
>>599218407
Turns out op is faggot
C'mon, OP! We're holding down the fort for you!
God, when will they ever learn to pretype this shit?
Anon get the shit done, I can't vigorously masturbate with a fucking half-finished greentext.
>>599218551
This
>>599217422
fixed
>"A lotmore than gorgeous, you're Exquisite, m'lady"
>I tip my fedora
>She starts to slump onto the bed, and looks me in the eye
>"Do you like me?"
>sweating profusely
>boner is clearly visible through trenchcoat
>"y-yes, you're a good friend"
>she loses her smile
>"W-will anon be home tomorrow?"
>"yes"
>"O-okay I'll come back tomorrow then"
>Walk back home
>Trail of Barilla behind me
>>599218473
PRE-TYPE NEXT TIME.
FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY
>>599218473
His drill will pierce the hymen
>>599218473
Still don't get why your boner would be confused here
>>599218473
Wait.. Is this the plot from Fifty Shades of Grey?
>>599218677
faggot that wasn't even funny
>fail troll 0/10
Real OP
> I came buckets on her blanket
>cry
>walk home
>>599218473
fug
>>599218677
>Le maymay
Bump motherfucker. Cmon OP
>>599218708
OP will turn this into beastiality or child sex somehow, making the erection unable to decide.
Okay /b/ros, let's wait with both hands on the table.
>>599218473
My dick is literally diamonds OP you better fucking finish up soon so I can fap
>>599218693
I doubt it
>>599218473
The only thing about your story that is unbelievable so far, is that when you're getting into bed with your friends Mom, I think the message is pretty clear by that point, and talking would cease to be.
>>599218522
I love her. She's everything I want to be...except asain
>>599218692
Kek
Does Stevens mom have it going on?
>>599218747
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>599218837
OP here.. I forget what happens next.. it was my first time drinking wine. When I woke up she was vaccuming
>>599218837
top kek
>>599218473
>Dick is aching for a swim
>I reach for her waist
>Realize she's wearing Jeggings
>Did she plan this
>Who cares, Sex!
>I ripp them off in one fast sweeping motion, I hear her give a yelp, followed by a giggle
>I notice she's wearing one of those Victoria secret Valantine's Day Lingerie set
>She's smiling "All for you, Anon"
>I rip those large panties over my head, revealing a soft, shaved pussy
>It's glistening with moisture
>Right before I put it in, I hear her say "Anon, Wait"
> She sits up and slams me on the bed, back against the blanket
>Oh god, is she gonna peg me?
>I see her take off her bra, reveling fucking massive tits
>She smiles and says "You have to make sure I enjoy this too"
>She crawls up on the bed on top of me in a 69 position.
>She wiggles her huge ass in my face
>I see her pussy dripping onto me
>As she does this, her warm breasts rubs against the tip of my head
>>5992189>>599218930
I think so. She's all I want and I waited fr so long.
Hmm, boner worthy. Hurry, OP!
>>599218854
All the women i've been with were quite adamant they didn't want to do it even after I had already started.
>>599218828
This kills the man
>>599218551
HERE YOU GO.. REAL OP HERE
>her legs are high in the air waiting for my dick to slide into her pussy
>I spread her legs but I decide to eat her out first
>I bring my head in closer and closer to her snatch
>the smell is sweet milk and pennies fills my nostrils
>suddenly I hear an odd noise coming from the living room
>mfw
>her son came home early
>we hear him walking towards the door
>we don't have time to hide
>door busts open
>"THIS IS MY SWAMP"
>thank god its Shrek and not her son
>I instantly jump on all fours
>poking out my round ass and spreading my cheeks for Shrek
>he fucks my ass so hard it rips and starts to bleed
>he fills my ass with onion cum
>it's all ogre now
>Shrek is love
>Shrek is life
>>599219078
OP I don't think you understand the magnitude of semen that will soon be released after you finish.
>>599219199
This
>>599218961
u are 1 fucking cheeky kunt mate i swear i am goin 2 wreck u i swear on my mums life and i no u are scared lil bitch gettin your mates to send me messages saying dont meet up coz u r sum big bastard with muscles lol fuckin sad mate really sad jus shows what a scared lil gay boy u are and whats all this crap ur mates sendin me about sum bodybuildin website that 1 of your faverite places to look at men u lil fuckin gay boy fone me if u got da balls cheeky prick see if u can step up lil queer
>>599219198
thanks, REAL OP. Now where's OP?
>>599219199
My dick is waiting
>>599219118
sounds awfully rapey man haha, but I've only ever been with girls around my age. Not sure if you're talking about cougar's or not.
>>599219198
you fulfilled my masturbation plot
>>599219078
Yrs. Bueno
>>599219198
"Its all orge now"
Gets me all the time
>>599219305
Here.. what a up
>>599219334
Thank shrek. Not me.
>>599219367
>THIS IS MY SWAMP
That gets me everytime
>>599219332
Actually, I prefer younger women.
>>599219437
Don't worry, I thank Shrek every single hour of every single day. He is our one true ogrelord.
>>599218473
THIS IS THE REAL OP
Here's a pic of us together.
>>599211258
https://youtube.com/watch?v=U5LTgTGPFKc
>>599219507
Fawking hawt
>>599212448
extra points if september was involved anon
>>599219198
FOR FUCKS SAKE, I JUST CAME TO OGRE PORN
>>599219507
Oooh this can't be. Ruining it for me
>>599219507
>massive Tits
>>599219507
However that guy is clearly at least 21
>>599219507
Hah looks like my grandma.
But thats impossible
>>599219665
And her nurse
>>599219676
Is it.... Is.... It
That wasn't it, right?
OP hurry the FUCK UP I need to fucking FINISH
>>599219742
What's up with all the teens and shit for a milf greentext.
>>599219742
Surely it wasn't
>>599219078
>She grabs onto my shaft, slowly stroking it
>I let out a soft sigh
> She giggles, "You like that?" I say yeah
>She fakes a moan and she's slowly wiggling her ass towards my face
>She tugs on my dick harder and harder, tempting me with her sweet honey pot
>I stick out my touge and get a taste
>Nectar of the fucking gods
>She starts grinding on my tongue and letting out soft moans
>I retaliate by flicking my tongue up and down
>She get's really into it and starts breathing really heavily
>Out of nowhere, she let's down all her weight and ends up sitting on my face
>She stops and says "Anon! I'm sorry! Are you okay"
>Instead of saying anything, I started to go all out on a licking assault
>This catches her by surprise and another yelp escapes her
> I feel her massive hips shake and her body slumps down
>My dick is greeted my a warm slimy sensation
>Oh boy
>I hear her muffled moans while she starts going down on me
>We're both so awkward since we both haven't had sex in awhile, I can hear sloshes from both ends
>She starts deep throating me and I can just barely hold it in
>Without warning, I feel it coming
>She fucking takes it all in, withought even coughing or gagging
>I keep going down on her, while I hear an obvious swallow
>>599219822
Imagination doesn't set barriers for age
Bump this is a wild ride
OP here.
>it's all ogre now
>>599219822
How about some gilf?
>>599219907
might just be OP...
>>599219907
Dude post a pic of her.
>>599219907
Dude
CAPTCHA: naled
>>599219907
How many more will there be, OP?
>>599220091
OP is quite fond of the word giggle.
>>599219970
Lol
>>599219907
i'm out. this is taking too long.
>>599214613
I did lose yeah. I also can't remember the point of the game. Is there a penalty?
Op will surely deliver.
>>599219907
Op taking his sweet ass time
>>599220117
OP is making it up, but who gives a fuck, it's hot.
>>599219907
You better fucking be OP...
NIGGA HURRY THE FUCK UP I AIN'T GOT ALL DAY
>>599220330
You live in china? Dont you mean night?
Fuck now I have to wait for more green text like a fucking peasant
>>599220286
wtf happend to 4chan id with pretty colors, was easy to id OP then
>>599218961
Qu'est-ce que tu viens de dire sur moi, sale petite pute ? Je t'apprendrai que j'ai fini major de promo dans les Commandos Marine, que j'ai participé à de nombreux raids secrets sur Al-Qaïda, et que j'ai plus de 300 tirs létaux confirmés. J'ai reçu un entraînement de gorille et je suis le meilleur tireur de toutes les forces armées françaises. Tu n'es pour moi rien de plus qu'une autre cible. Écoute-moi bien connard, je vais te supprimer de la surface de planète avec une précision jamais vue jusqu'ici. Tu t'imagines pouvoir me dire des trucs comme ça sur internet et t'en tirer ? Tu peux te brosser, trou du cul. En ce moment même je suis en contact via minitel avec mon réseau secret d'espions en France métropolitaine et dans les DOM-TOMs et on est en train de suivre la trace de ton adresse IP, alors tu ferais mieux de te préparer à l'impact, l'asticot. L'impact qui va annihiler cette pathétique excuse que tu appelles ta vie. T'es putain de mort, gamin. Je peux être n'importe où, n'importe quand, et je peux te tuer de plus de sept cent façons différentes, rien qu'à mains nues. J'ai non seulement reçu un entraînement intensif en combat au corps à corps, mais j'ai également à ma disposition l'arsenal complet des Commandos Marine, dont je ferai un usage extensif pour éradiquer la moindre trace de ton petit cul misérable de la surface du continent, petite merde. Si tu avais pu savoir le genre de châtiment impie qu'allait t'apporter ton petit commentaire "facétieux", tu aurais peut-être évité d'ouvrir ta grande gueule. Mais tu n'as pas pu le savoir, et tu l'as ouverte, et maintenant tu en payes le prix, grand couillon d'abruti. Je vais furieusement te recouvrir de caca, dans lequel tu vas ensuite te noyer. T'es mort, gamin.
>>599217422
>never had wine but said it was fine
:( now i know its all false
>>599220507
Nerve gas
Hurry the fuck up, OP. I want to fap so I can go back to sleep... Sone of us have nothing to do today.
>>599220489
It's all fucking OP's fault, too.
>>599220467
its fucking 13:30 - 15:30 in europe you retard
>>599220537
>This nuff said
> newfags can't greentext
good story, not hard at all but it's still interesting
>>599220549
> in europe
> faggot doesn't know that Europe has several different time zones
> pic related; it's you
Never before a pasta took so long to be delivered.
Hurry up OP.
I'm literally falling asleep to OP's posting speed. In out boys.
>>599220507
As I understand it some boards are forced anon mode. /b/ /s4s/ /soc/ I believe are the main ones affected.
>>599220685
You are tour parent's little special kid, aren't you?
OP sucks big black dick
>>599217387
Holy hit she's hot... wait... random taco bell hot sauce packet. Boner destroyed.
>>599213712
lmao this woman is a train wreck (i iwhs i had a bofriend who works minimum wage at a movie theater to save me 9 dollars on a movie ticket
OP is taking so long because he's fapping
>>599220808
Just makes the picture hotter.
nigga did it really took you so long to fuck this bitch???????????????
>>599219907
>she pops her head up from my crotch
>this times, she's fucking moaning
>Her hips start shaking as her body turns towards the nightstand
>I couldn't see much, but I feel this weird feeling on my dick
>I go down on her until she starts breathing in rythmic intervals
>"Anon I'm...."
>I can't say shit
>Her heavy hips and banging up against my head
>I'm twilrling my toungue around her sweet clit as she's holding tight to the covers
>Suddenly, her thighs starts squeezing my head with the force of a fucking car
>I'm trapped under her legs
>She's starts to twitch and making more moaning noises
>She slumps over and is breathing very heavily
>A wide smile is on her face
>"Anon... that was great.."
>I smile as she twitches some more
> I look at my dick and notice he but a condom on it
>This isn't over yet
>As she's laying on the side, I lift up one of her legs
>She turns to me and starts to regain her energy
>I'm on my knees, with my good friend's mom's leg on my shoulder
>I tease her by rubbing the tip of my dick against her vag
>She starts cooing and humming
>I can't help but do it too
>She turns to me with seductive eyes "Anon, is this your first time?"
>Holy shit, it is
>"Y-yeah"
>"Are you sure you want to this"
>As I felt her warm pussy on my dick, I didn't feel right now
>This is my friend's mom, how can I do this to him
>And that's when I decided
>I kissed her leg, and carassed her stomach
>It felt so nice against my fingertips
>So smooth
>I slowly put it in
>I saw her bite her lip
>I held on to her sweet leg for dear life
>She really hasn't seen a man in a long time
>She was so tight
>As soon as I got it all in I, I immediately started to pick up the pace
>>599220685
are you retarded? he mentioned 3 time zones
>>599220830
that's how you know it's fake
also the fact that he thinks her pussy tastes great, op has never tasted pussy
>>599220830
To be fair the popcorn is expensive.
>>599220808
Litter can be a real boner-killer.
>>599211375
this
>>599220549
What the hell do you know about the word nigga, whitey?
>>599220929
her hair is the litter
Com eon op
>>599220915
I never reciprocate oral sex
>>599220549
Also, zuk ma dik
>>599220915
fake or not. If you start it you better fucking finish it.
>>599220902
And they are wrong. I live in Europe and it's 14:28 here. Plebfag.
>>599220830
Lmfao
bro every Milf looks for a 6'3" 170lbs stud that alpha-ly cuts the movie line. Not to mention all the sweating and stuttering
>>599221134
14:28 europe is best europe
>>599220842
OP is taking so long because he is making it up
OP make new bread.
autosage is just around the bend
>>599221167
At this point nobody cares if OP is lying
>>599221122
i would never go down on a mom that's gotta be the grossest pussy next to a grandma's
>>599220929
MOTOKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>We're both so awkward since we both haven't had sex in awhile
>She turns to me with seductive eyes "Anon, is this your first time?"
>Holy shit, it is
>>599221134
Omfg kill yourself he said its between 13:30h and 15:30 yeah and what lies in between that?
>>599220915
When you're in the moment, it can taste amazing. Only if the girl is clean though. Fastest way to turn someone off, goddamn. But when my girlfriend just comes out of the shower, I can lick that shit forever.
>>599220929
This picture is acceptable
>>599220901
>"Anon, is this your first time?"
>Holy shit, it is
>"Y-yeah"
>>599219907
>We're both so awkward since we both haven't had sex in awhile
Inconsistencies. Still not killing my boner.
>>599221301
about to post this to
>>599221292
Calm your tits. Jeez, dude, it's a cosplayer.
>>599211258
pretty sure this is pasta
This is one reason I want ID back. Can't tell who op is
>>599221369
your gf is also much younger than this imaginary mom i would assume
>>599221425
yep good story
>>599221425
I mean he hasn't had sex in awhile
>>599220901
He but a condom on it
>>599220901
>she starts cooing
cuuuuuu cuuuuuuuu
Op should of took a OC pic everytime he post
The fuck?
>>599221502
The ones that talk about shrek
> it's all ogre now
>>599221134
It's 02:35 where i am, in New Zealand. Opposites, almost
>>599221528
Also , they went to a resturant and a movie, im sure its been a couple of hours since the shower . But non of us cares about the holes in this fiction we just decide to enjoy this nice story
>>599220901
>As soon as I went faster she started to giggle a lot
>I couldn't help but smile
>She threw back her head and was moaning heavily
>She starts getting really into it
>Slamming her waist into mine
>We're breathing really erratically at this point
>I feel her hips starting to shake again
>The inside of her started to squeeze onto me
>She started to orgasm, trying to milk me from the inside
>The sensation overcame me and I burst
>We both just cam, and I slowly pulled out
>I was dizzy and the condom was full and thick
>I layed back down and I saw her slowly crawl up next to me
>We're both panting eradically, but we couldn't help but smile
>"Hi" She said
>"Hey"
>I felt her hand rub against my chest, and she pulled off the condom
>I wanted her to drink the cum, but she instead just threw it away
>We just laid there, cuddling
>As soon as we caught our breath I asked if she wanted to see another movie, and she laughed
>She told me that we should go to bed
>And so we did
>During the night, as we were spooning, my boner would rub up against her vagoo
>In her sleep she would slowly grind on it
>best feeling in the world
>>599221576
>>should of
Confirmed retard.
bump limit reached.
HURRY OP THERE'S NO TIME LEFT
>>599219907
>We both haven't had sex for a while
>>599220901
>"Anon, is this your first time?"
>"Y-yeah"
I'm out of here. You had me for a while, OP
>>599221642
>7:35 texas time check em fags
>>599221613
windows phone, top kek
>>599221712
confirm english fag
>>599221678
Srsly?!
>we both start cooeing
>"COOEY! COOOOOOOEEYYY!! COOOOOOOOEEYYYYYY!!"
>>599221678
is this the real OP? and there's no bel-air or spaghettios?
0/10 cannot fap to
>>599221425
There's no inconsistency there
>>599221678
This fucking nigger can't even write, if you truly believe this. You deserve what's coming.
None of these ever end properly. HAVE YOU NOT LEARNT THAT BY NOW YOU FUCKS.
>>599221758
Ayyy
>>599221758
Fuck yea Texas /b/ro.
>>599221678
>I wanted her to drink the cum, but she instead just threw it away
I keked so fucking hard. That was amazing.
>wakes up in the morning with dick in a jar of bolognese
>spaghetti is all over the bed
>makes visit to xhamster while waiting on OP
>"MILF"
>>599211258
>Guys, I don't know what to do, My boner is so confused.
>don't know what to do
>My boner
>She started to orgasm, trying to milk me from the inside
I think you're a bit too late to ask us for our opinion
>>599221678
>Guys, I don't know what to do, My boner is so confused.
Doesn't sound like it. Sounds like your boner knows exactly what it's doing.
>>599221758
Holy fuck it's late.
>>599222120
Maybe OP , like the faggot he is, is gay and was trying to mack on her son.
op should an hero
>>599221678
So op what class you play in DND?
>>599221678
>The next morning
>I wake up and she isn't there
>A bathrobe is hanging for me
>The smell of grilled cheese sandwiches are filling the air
>I slowly walk to the kitchen and see her in an apron and some sweats
>Still hot to me
>She smiles and says "good morning"
>I exchange the formalities and we eat
>We talked liked we normally did and I asked her if she enjoyed last night
>She nods, but her smiles seem weak
>"What's wrong?"
>"Anon, I don't know if I can do this anymore"
>I just nod
>I knew it might end up like this
>"I really like you though" I say
>She looks upset, "I like you too, Anon.But if My son finds out, then who knows how he'll react"
>I feel really sad at this point
>"Well... can we still go on dates and watch movies? I don't have anyone else to take to the movies."
>She laughs, "Okay, Anon,on one condition"
>Yeah?
>Don't tell anyone, okay?
>Sure.
>"PS3 has no games
>>599221874
Englishfag or not, in all derivatives of English its "should've"
>ogre
