>>599165438
>yfw the only "her" left doesn't want to talk to you anymore

Hey, you're beautiful

thanks but it is after midnite r u ok?

Want to go on a date?

u got the wrong number anon

No I don't mom.

>>599165438

Alright, I'll do it. But it's unheard. We've been friends with absolutely no romantic interest in each other for a long time.

God dammit. I'm nervous now. Fuck you /b/.

>>599166163

I just sent it.

Fuck fuck fuck.

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>>599166343

this shit isn't 404'ing, i took part in this, fuck that.

>>599165438
There I was a time when I might consider doing just that, but I think now it's best to leave her alone. I wish her the best. I really do, but it's obvious that I'm not what she needs in life right now.

>>599166234

this nigga aint giving up

>>599166829

I will update the moment she responds. I fucking hate this.

>>599167071
she just replied with "I have a boyfriend, pig!"

>>599167439
rekt

>>599167439
No screenshot

>>599167439
text back
sorry bitch, am i supposed to read your fucking mind? jeezus, take a compliment

>>599167439

that's not me, it's a faggot.

she hasn't responded yet.

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>>599167439

>>599167754
Lel ID's being gone is rough on delivery, huh anon?

>>599167754
no I'm the real one the other 2 are fakes!!!

I'm the real one. She hasn't replied yet. Now the long silence is worrying me!

Fuck fuck fuck.

>>599166997
It's probably some reddit raid or something. Probably even another board from here. They'll go away eventually

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No one delivars. Bitches.

>tfw no one to send to

>>599168260
faggot

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Ok
>texted "hey you're beaufitul"
>she responds "wow um thanks"
She sounds nervous but I think she's always had a thing for me

Got a kiss on the cheek and an I love you. Turns out she was lying right next to me.

>>599168679
Tfw gf

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Gay

Said my name

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For once, I can't think of a single bitch I want to say anything to. Feels good man.

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what i do

"You're handsome even with your snotty nose"
Th-thanks, y-you too.

>>599169513
tell her you recant

>>599168260
Thanks, Friend

>>599169964
what?

>>599170211
re•cant (rĭ-kăntˈ)


v.
To make a formal retraction or disavowal of (a statement or belief to which one has previously committed oneself).
v.
To make a formal retraction or disavowal of a previously held statement or belief.

>>599169513
Tell her "no, I really mean it. I think you're absolutely beautiful

>>599169513
Say "Fine fucking bitch, I just wanted you to feel better, but if you aren't gonna take the fucking compliment then you must be ungrateful and stupid on top of being ugly. Eat shit and die, cunt.

>>599165929
kek, even if fake

>>599170477
im going with this.
will update

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▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ YOU HAVE BEEN SPOOKED BY THE SPOOPY SKELTON OF SPOOPINESS. YOU MUST POST ITT UNTIL YOU GET DUBS.
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>>599170477
here ya go.
what next fags

>>599166234
height of autism

>>599165438

>text
>hey, you're beautiful
>reply
>I seen the thread

She knows /b/

>>599170984
"right, i was joking anyway"

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>>599170984
say this:
>>599170511
IT was the next dubs so you have to.

It's been 20 minutes and she hasn't responded.

I'm a confirmed spurglord

>>599166234
At least it's a good song

>>599170984
"Fine bitch, just wanted to say something nice but if you wanna be a cunt about it then fuck off, bulldog looking bitch."

>>599170984
OK then. Let's disagree this time. I know it takes you a while to accept the truth of things sometimes

>>599170984
Why don't you believe me?

>>599171295
sorry man, already typed this
>>599171214
will update though

>>599170984
Fine, then wallow in self pity forever, you fat slut. I'm gonna fuck all your friends.

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>>599168946
tfw no gf

>no one i know that i can do this with
so alone and pathetic

>>599168501
don't wait for permission, go over there and propose

>>599170984
" well fuck you, then"

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>>599171617
You can tell me, Anon!

>>599171457
>>599170984
Also give me some background on your relationship so I can work some personalized game for you. Age, how long you know each other, things she likes, you ever do anything past friends, chemistry etc

>>599170984
"why would I lie? I've always thought you were attractive"

>>599170984
Ask her if there's any way you could change her mind.

>>599169139
"i get it from you" ???

dafuq is dat btich doin, stepping to a nigga, smack that bitch up.

>>599171763
I'll pass

>>599169139
>husband
wtf

>>599170984
"just play along bitch you're on candid camera."

>>599170984

it's easy anon.
"why not?"

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>>599171763
Hey, you're beautiful.

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>>599171822
we met a while ago. she cuts and is sad alot.
she is very pretty though,
Pic related she texted back

>>599172175
you blew it faggot. good job.

>>599172175

idiot

>>599166845
I know that feel, anon.

>>599172236
Send her the clam sticker that looks like a prolapsed rectum.

>>599171816
Damn if she's real...

>>599172175
you dumbass

>>599172175
...but you really are tho

>>599172438
>>599172401
>>599172560


I was taking rolls faggots.

>>599171816
topkek

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>>599172175
I honestly think you did the right thing, if she accepted your compliment and came to trust you, and maybe even depend on you, your life would become a hell that you don't want. Don't try to woo depressed girls, it's not worth it. I don't care how bomb their body is.

>>599171155
she's clearly the one

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>>599172175

Look, me and you are going to see a movie together this weekend. No if, ands, or buts. My treat.

This is an alpha move OP.. take this shit or leave it.

>>599172621
thanks for making me cringe. dont say this this guys a faggot

>>599172462
what fucking sticker is this?!

>>599172175
OK. I'm married to a cutter. Rule 1 commit. Don't back out and say it was a joke because even jokes genuinely hurt them. Say this.

Listen, Im sorry to make you feel awkward. We both know I'm not kidding. I've always thought you were beautiful. I feel very strongly about that and I feel strongly about you. I'm gonna ask you to accept the truth of what I'm saying as a favor and because you deserve to know at least for a minute that you are wonderful.

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>>599172631
>letting /b/ run your life

>>599171816
That girls a fucking keeper. Marry her and then stick it in her pooper every night

"An SMS you tried to send or recieve has faild as you are out of credit for that message type."

what a fucking bitch

OH FUCK SHE RESPONDED I DONT WANT TO READ IT

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>>599172828

>>599171816
fucking marry her m8

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>>599172731
Nigga should just move on, find a girl who isn't a nutjob, and then take your semi-decent advice.

>>599173052
i know the feel bro. DO it

fucking hell /b/ she isn't online

TIMING /b/ YOU NEED BETTER TIMING

Me: Hey you're beautiful
Her: Hey you're handsome
Her: Lol
Her: Whatsup

I guess doubles decide. I'll post a screenshot in a bit, I'm too lazy.

I heart you so much

I remember the last time I tried this her response was something along the lines of "Yes I know. What is your fucking point."

>>599172175
You can still fix this. Say "No, but seriously, you are beautiful." and then mix that in with >>599172731
>Problem solved
>Thank me later

>>599172631

1. no you weren't
2. implying that doesn't make you a humongous faggot anyway

>>599173081
MY FUCKING SIDES

>>599169268
Myers, Myles?

>>599172737
too late.

I wish I wasn't such a pathetic beta. I have the phone number that I got from a mutual friend, but I haven't the stones to utilize it.

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>>599173081

>>599173406
>fucking up real life relationships because of a random number of a faggot imageboard
>so cool

i dont have a her. dont have any living female relatives. don't have any relatives actually.

>>599173081
Good god what the actual fuck?!

hold up pause the thread. my pizza is here. will post results. it has extra cheese

>>599173614

.....wat?

>>599173513
Listen, Im sorry to make you feel awkward. We both know I'm not kidding. I've always thought you were beautiful. I feel very strongly about that and I feel strongly about you. I'm gonna ask you to accept the truth of what I'm saying as a favor and because you deserve to know at least for a minute that you are wonderful.

>>599173081
I have died and ascended into heaven

>>599172175
Haha, i just wanted to see if you were for real. You are so fucking pretty, the kind of girl every man wants. Wanna go out later?
Not that hard to fuck bitches, /b/.

>>599173513
The only way to stop being a beta faggot is by taking chances brah. Alphas get rejected too but they don't let it get to them. Better than being alone, ammaright?

I got "I know, thank s"

>>599171816
>What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Keeper detected

>>599173081
if you look closely it has chin hair... and body hair. it's even grosser than i thought originally.

>>599172837
Say this and update. Guaranteed shit and now I'm curious

>>599173614
>>599173757

nvm i have sinusitis i gotcha bro

>>599173735
please deliver.

Will do if dubs.

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>>599173814
Splendid.

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Bump

>>599169139
>I get that from you
>Bein your daughter and all
>Love you Dadsband

Since I suck. What do you fuckers make of this. This was about 3 days ago and she hasn't responded since. I'll be fucked if I am going to chase after her any more. Call it and move on?

>Me: I think we need to either start livening up these chats or see about meeting up some time.

>Her: Okay define that

>Me: Gtalk conversations are just very disjointed and I lack the energy to keep them going. Would rather get together in person.

>Me: Did I phrase it a bit better there?

>Her: Yip

why was that so hard holly shit like my fucking heart.

>>599174808
Listen, Im sorry to make you feel awkward. We both know I'm not kidding. I've always thought you were beautiful. I feel very strongly about that and I feel strongly about you. I'm gonna ask you to accept the truth of what I'm saying as a favor and because you deserve to know at least for a minute that you are wonderful.

>>599173814
She has no clue I have the number. I'd have to include it. I'm just worried that she'll think I'm ultimate stalker mode because I managed to pull a phone number from basic social interaction with mutual friends.

>>599173905
I want to do it, but I don't think it'll work. Haven't seen her in two years, don't know anything about her social life anymore.
She's really lousy at answering her text messages, according to the two other people I know have her number, but she may actually be avoiding them. I'm not sure, but that's what I suspect.

Only argument I can make to do it is to get it over with and move on to something else. Talking to girls I like is literally the hardest thing for me because I'm literally autistic. I get by with everything else by putting my best foot forward and not worrying too much.

>>599171705
Not going that far but she does want to go on a day tomorrow. Thanks /b/

>>599174808
You have nothing to lose by taking one last swing in the dark.

>>599174993

No. That sounds far too needy even for me.

>>599165438

"I want you in my mouth."

Two states away... fuck...

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>>599165438
Super fucking annoying bitch, never leaves me alone like the itch on your balls when your in the middle of a game kind of annoying. eventually just started calling her the SHED out of hatred for her. If I EVER messager her, she explodes with endless horniness and attachment.
convince me to message her, and I promise, /b/ will have endless laughs for centuries to come.

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>>599165438
Kek

>>599175366
You become legend tier if you make us laugh for centuries, but you probably won't so you might as well try faggot

>>599175366
Dubs get

>>599175349
You better get moving

>>599175366
>>599175633
Dub dubs

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>>599174067

>>599165929
kek

>>599175366
RIP

>>599175366
plz

>>599167769
tumblr?
You disgust me

>>599175425
what's this moonspeak?

are you isis?

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>>599175873
Deliver the other shit

Heart icon and a lips icon :)

>>599175366
You know this bitch is going to murder you one day, right?

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>>599175633
RIP everyone in the known universe

>>599176242
oooohhh shit

>>599176242
OH FUCK DUDE

>>599176355
dubs

>>599170984
Taking of Deborah Logan

>>599176242
ohhh god

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>>599176242
Respect

>>599176123
why, this is just as good as fapping material goes.

>>599176122
Its finnish

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What her do?

>>599176123
what do you mean anon?

>>599176242
Twas about to abandon.. nice save

>>599169268
Thank you my nigga

>>599176621
>>599176242
we be making dreams to be breaking hearts in this thread

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>>599176507
You've been overshadowed by:
>>599176242

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>>599172691

>>599176778
kek

>>599176621
Idk how to explain it.. but I came.

>>599169268
myron
>nigger detected

>>599176621
>>599176778
Then ignore mine

>>599176791
totally, but i don;t mind, kinda curious to see where this goes myself.

>>599176621
>>599175873
>>599175425
>>599171816
>>599169268
>>599169139
>>599168260
these all make me really jealous. good for you guys

guess what anons. if she doesn't respond wasn't interested anyway, so save yourself time and heartache and just move on.

>>599176242
dear god.

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>>599165438
6 Decides

>>599176951
im not hating, just sayin

>>599176242

Damn you, now I have to stay and watch the fireworks. You fucking bastard.

>>599176231

This guy's right, you know.

>>599176621
Say you heard me.

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Thanx 4chiins

>>599177214
I don't think you are, I know you are

>>599177152
Based on what you've posted so far, this grill wants to wear your skin.

I'm sure she'll reply

>>599177214
Do you know how long i stare at your pics...

>>599165438
"I was trying to sleep, asshole. I love you, but fuck off for a few more hours."

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>>599175873
you're a shitty guy.

>>599177366

What's this bullshit???

>>599176242
>taking this long to continue

OP is dead, annoying girl went to his house and killed him for his skin and precious bodily fluids.

>>599177366
>friend

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>599177366
Lmfao fucking rektd

>>599177214
>yum

>>599177378
Rull

>>599177366
hehe, great friend

>>599177214
jesus, is that actually her pic on the contact info?

>>599177271
Niggers tongue my anis

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>>599177366

>>599177366
OOOOOHHHHHHHH
*turn down for what.wav*

>>599177722
>full house
nice

>>599177764
Re-roll

>>599177214
I don't think so, I know so. Trust me

>I'm gonna ask you to accept the truth of what I'm saying as a favor and because you deserve to know at least for a minute that you are wonderful.
Way to cockblock yourself, faggot. I hope this isn't a girl you were actually hoping to fuck ever.

>>599177214
"Ok, I understand, you're ugly. I don't want any disagreements, I just wanted to point it out."

>>599177214
No really.....milady

>>599177366
IN THE ZONE

She hasn't even responded to "hey" yet.

Maybe tomorrow

>>599177271
ballinashit

>>599177366
My fucking sides

>>599177271
Look behind you

>>599177979
Roll

>>599172837
>>599173814
>>599174993
>>599177366
kek

>>599177838
holy fuck didn't even see that.

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>>599177366
lol fuck dude...burn!

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>>599177366

>>599177722
Yeah, it's real. Girl's a bombshell.

>>599177885
>Wizard

>>599177366
>There are people who don't believe that a friendzone is real
well there it is

>>599178497
fukcing hell. does she really not, you know, think she's good lookin?

>>599168679
fuck you anon

>>599173269
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little goyim? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the
Harvard, and I've been involved in numerous secret pyramid schemes in the USA, and I have over 300 million dollars.
I am trained in economics and I'm the top jew in the entire society of intellectual hebrews. You are nothing to me but just
another customer. I will bankrupt you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this
Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again,
fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of bankers across the USA and your bank account is being drained
right now so you better prepare for the eviction, maggot. The eviction that kicks out the pathetic little thing you call
your ass. You're fucking broke, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can extort money from you in over seven hundred ways,
and that's just with my holocaust stories. Not only am I extensively trained in ripping you off, but I have access to the
entire arsenal of the JIDF and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable trolling off the face of the
continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to
bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking goyim tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're
paying the unreasonable price of 10% above market value, you goddamn idiot. I will overprice items all around you and you
will drown in them. Oy vey, kiddo.

>>599178204
/thread

>>599178412
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8l5ZjSI5G4E&index

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>>599177885

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>>599177366

>>599178656
??

>>599178877
where the mall cop dump?

>>599173081
>clam sticker that looks like a prolapsed rectum
I know, im gonna be thinking about tommorow and bust out laughing in the middle of a lecture.

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Asked this girl out once like two years ago, she turned me down. Still have a few classes with her so we talk about homework and shit. Let's see what happens.

>>599179028
dont start with that shit, just about as bad as that fox and two babies comic

>>599171816
topkek

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What me do?

Hey you're beautiful

Thsnkd

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>you're beautiful
>thanks, son. can you buy a loaf of bread?

>>599173081
Dear fucking god, my sides.

>>599179157
Kek

>>599179123

>>599176242
OK seriously what the fuck happened here im fucking gnawing my fingers to stumps

"Hey, you're beautiful"

Asleep, therefore no answer

>>599179137
Good. Let's do dinner Sometime. let me make you smile more often

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>>599179294
>>599179123
ill start us off anons

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>>599176242
you sad, amazing bastard. I was just packing my shit up for bed, and now I've got to see what ends up happening here.

I think your life as you know it is about to change forever...

>>599179137
I'm serious your the hottest gril I know

>>599179617
Betafegget

>>599179157
at least she trusts you to buy bread. which kinda makes you the breadwinner. I dunno where the fuck im going with this. probably incest.

dont do this. >>599149168

>>599179617
>not knowing the difference between hot and beautiful

>>599173081
BAHAHAHAHAHAHH

>>599179713
my exact thoughts lel

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>>599179137
>2 lols

Nigga gettin flustered

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>>599179424
Beautiful.

>>599179424
yeah dude say this seriously

>>599179137
"I mean, you skin is FANTASTIC. I just want to wear it like a coat sometimes"

>>599179433
fucking no.

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The mediocre is real; said name...

>>599167887
IDs are gone, moot is gone.

At least we have dubs...

>>599179960
Im taking notes as we speak.

>>599177366
I fucking kek'd at the irony

>>you are a great friend
>>a great friend
>>friend

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>>599177366
dude... your sad-sack approach doomed you right off the top! fuck, right in the nuts...

>>599179942
>>599179896
>>599179845
Thanks guys lol

>>599177782
kek

>>599179424
this is legitimately one of the better recommendations to come out of /b/ in a while.

>>599165438
>Response:
That's just wrong dad.