*Ahem*

Sorry, is this seat taken?

>>593438239
*starring on my smartphone*

>>593438239
*flips through family magazine*

*picks up 3yr old magazine*

*licks finger to turn magazine page*

*loud baby crying*

*being nervous as fuck*
*sweating*

whips dick out and starts masturbating furiously

>>593438239
Takes out small and very loud bag of chips
*crunch crunch*

*close my eyes, taking a rest*

*Yawn*

>>593438692
No, please sit.

*infant cries uncontrollably *

>>593439013
beat me to it

>>593439013
'Scuse me sir but would you please stop doing that

Secretary says i'll be with you in a moment. Sit down and wait or stay standing in middle of room?

>>593438993
*thinking*
''all those people, they all stare at me, they probably think im a drug addict or something..
all those people''

File: interesting.jpg (32 KB, 220x320) Image search: [Google]

32 KB, 220x320

*these are your best magazines? You gotta readers digest from 2012 and a no golf magazine? Seriously whats up with that?*

>>593438239
*phone rings, quickly answers and walks out of room*

>>593439056
SIR, COULD YOU PLEASE TRY NOT TO BE SO LOUD?!

>>593438239
*looks at someones kid*
>they think I'm a pedophile now

*makes noise with a paper bag*

NEXT!

>>593438239
*blows nose*

BUZZZZZZZ *a light flickers* "next please"

File: image.jpg (26 KB, 350x350) Image search: [Google]

26 KB, 350x350

*starts jewing*

*establishes eye contact with you*
*won't break it*

*8 year old child who keeps his DO on full volume*

>>593438239
*Old woman talking about her grandson to the person next to her*

reading today's newspaper while silently talking to myself.

>>593439013
Please, sir... could you, maybe - uhm, stop doing that? You're... hitting my elbows in the process.

File: 1398822275872.jpg (79 KB, 719x689) Image search: [Google]

79 KB, 719x689

Only seat open and fatty mcfatass is halfway on it....

*sigh*

Looks at Islamic man in full dress.
Thinks " oh christ. What if"
starts sweating.
as if he'd blow up a waiting room

*still sweating like fuck*

>>593438239
*goes up to counter to ask how much longer the wait is*

Miss the agent is ready to see you now

*old man casually fliping through sports illustrated*

*Sit down with rap music playing loudly in headphones where it can be heard. Look at all white people wishing they would say something.*

>>593439562
dont worry, it will be over quicker if you help

*masturbates*

*schnink schnink*

>>593439678
*get butthurt, leave*

*sits next to black guy as not to look racist*

>>593438239
*rubs crotch purposely hoping people look*

File: image.jpg (27 KB, 640x360) Image search: [Google]

27 KB, 640x360

Alright who's next

>>593439244
Excuse me, sir, are you feeling well?
You seem very distressed. Is there any way I can help you?

>>593439594
>oh shit, he noticed me
>I can't blow up the waiting room while being watched
>fuck this anxiety

*need a shit, don't want to lose seat yet don't want to let off a massive fart, keep shuffling awkwardly*

sees a black gentleman
*oh god don't say nigger*

>>593439790
our knees touch, "sorry"

>>593439824
I am.

*kid walks up and asks*
ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL?

*stare very intently at the nearest child while licking my lips*

*continuous foot tapping and up and down knee motions*

File: 1406744548970.jpg (17 KB, 640x480) Image search: [Google]

17 KB, 640x480

I had a 2:30 and it's 2:45, swear to GOD I'm going to say something.... I'll give them 5 more minutes.

>>593439936
"oh no it was my fault... sir"
>why the fuck did I call him sir

*adjusts Naruto shirt to hide greasy manboob sweat*

>>593440133
*10 minutes later*

>>593439954
No your not.

Mother and 13 year old daughter walk into the room. Try not to stare are 13 year olds tight tank top.

File: Doctor_Babe_wants_to_fuck_you.png (79 KB, 302x273) Image search: [Google]

79 KB, 302x273

Mr. McRoberts?

The Doctor will see you now

*wondering, which one of the eldery present in the room is causing the old-people-stench*

>>593440174
>why did he call me sir?
:')

>>593439839
*looks very stressed*
*thinks: oh god dont fucking touch me*
*oh fuck, i cant just leaves now, then they all will DEFINETLY stare at me, damnit*

*starts sniffling*
oh god, why am I sniffing so much, everyone thinks I'm a cunt

>>593440225
Ehmm.. I am...?

*looking at everyone and thinking "why the hell I can read their thoughts..."

>>593440325
*oh shit this guy has ebola*
*sits further away*

*walk in telling everyone to "check em" before leaving*

>>593439726
O-oh... alright then...
*hesitantly grab penis and start slowly stroking it along the length of the shaft*
W-well, at least y-you're not hitting my elbows, heh...

*closes eyes for 1 second, wake up 2 minutes later to the lady calling your name and everyone staring at you*

Hey guys, uh not that i need to release a volcanic eruption out of my anus or release the fountain of a thousand suns out of my penis or anything, but I just want to know where the restroom is, just in case you know?

*wonders how 50+ can fit in the same room*

File: Josh-McRoberts-Elbow-LeBron.jpg (19 KB, 360x240) Image search: [Google]

19 KB, 360x240

>>593440247
Yeah! That's me!

...I mean, that's me. Thank you.

*sniff* sigh

>>593440325
*snot droplet forming on your nose*
what are you going to do now, you forgot tissues

Tfw a hot chick sits next to u

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yd0fBXwDBmo

*trying to resist snapping a tumblrtard's neck who won't shut the fuck up about privilege*

File: image.jpg (39 KB, 560x560) Image search: [Google]

39 KB, 560x560

>>593440632

>>593440416
Oh yes, this way sir.

>>593440737
But I was next...

*is anything fuckable here?*

>>593439876
*Be a black man looking at you see you saying nigger in your head*

>>593440601
*wipes drip on back of hand, realises at least 4 people notice*
what a horrible tramp

*walks into room only to find out it's the wrong one but takes a seat anyway otherwise people will stare*

File: image.jpg (19 KB, 251x201) Image search: [Google]

19 KB, 251x201

>>593440721

>>593440302
I wouldn't want to bother you, sir, but you look really flustered. Would you like a glass of water? You look like you could use some help: do you want me to call for a doctor?

*cough* sigh

doctors closed on sundays

>>593438239
*goes up to water fountain, struggling not to slurp loudly*

*water drips down my chin, hope no one noticed*

*browses /b/ on phone, shields phone with free hand in case of lewdness*

Feel awkward about it anyway.

*switch over to /diy/ and pretend to read about cordless drills*

>>593441023

This is a free Mexican Clinic

*phone rings
"Mum, I can't talk right now, I'm waiting for my turn.....I am okay, just I can't talk right now....MOM, I really can't talk right now, call you back...."

>>593439013
*approach you*
May I give you a hand?

>>593440499
crine

File: image.jpg (20 KB, 200x207) Image search: [Google]

20 KB, 200x207

>>593440887
HE KNOWS

>>593440717
*laughs at cis white privileged male scum because of many years of impenetrable neck armor or as scum call it "fat" while explaining how being a werewolf is the best way to be*

*5min later*

File: Classic-Bead-Maze.jpg (229 KB, 1500x1500) Image search: [Google]

229 KB, 1500x1500

obligatory kid playing with wooden bead maze

*Oh god why did I get a boner here? fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck*

Mr. Anon, Dr. moot is ready to give you your prostate exam.

*BONER*

>>593441139
*kids running around unsupervised*

File: baby kick.gif (997 KB, 158x82) Image search: [Google]

997 KB, 158x82

*comes out of dr's office

>dr calls dubs

Anybody have a 3DS? I'm playing smash bros if you wanna join.

Ayy my niggas whats crackalackin im here to get me some of dat medical kush

File: image.jpg (29 KB, 500x267) Image search: [Google]

29 KB, 500x267

Everyone get the fuck down now

File: image.jpg (200 KB, 960x960) Image search: [Google]

200 KB, 960x960

headphones on not to hear you faggots.

File: sobbing.jpg (16 KB, 320x299) Image search: [Google]

16 KB, 320x299

*sobbing* ...*fart*

>>593440737
Comming!

>>593441285
*be another child, watch kid playing with wooden bead maze, wishes I could join in but too scared to go over and play*

*oh christ, I need to fart*
*here it comes*
*very warm and silent, warm runs along balls*

>>593439280
FUCK YOU BITCH!
*Pulls knife*

>>593441465
Yall know where da kush at?

ITT: Roleplaying autist faggots

*try to cough quietly, nearly choke and furiously cough*
>everyone knows im retarded now

>>593438239
*looking around and fixes shirt*

>>593441516
waits for kid to leave or reads a picture book

*shuffles up to front desk to ask how much longer the wait will be*

*shuffles back to chair looking dejected*

>>593441465
Shhh would you keep it down in masturbating here

>>593441465
oshit!

*starts to release terrible farts*

>>593441600
Naw nigga i really am lookin for da kush yall know where it at

>>593441465
B-But I have a weak back... that's why i'm here...

>>593441465
Sit down there's at least 30 niggers here

File: 1421618709595.gif (475 KB, 215x194) Image search: [Google]

475 KB, 215x194

am doctor gib me money

>>593441402

*Grunts loudly hoping they'll go away*

>>593441691
"in the People Magazine"

File: image.jpg (48 KB, 480x480) Image search: [Google]

48 KB, 480x480

> mfw this thread

File: image.jpg (41 KB, 480x360) Image search: [Google]

41 KB, 480x360

>>593441587
*shoots faggot*

>>593441538
*start flirting with the receptionists. Whisper lewd comments.old guy hears me.*

*put earphones in ears and put KID A on*

File: 1415873409342.gif (460 KB, 255x192) Image search: [Google]

460 KB, 255x192

>>593441285
Heyyy

>>593441600
>implying we aren't already autistic faggots

Check phone, no new notifications.
Want to browse /b/, but shitty reception, phone back to pocket.

>>593438239
*find seat with most distance frommeveryone*
*wait patiently like a man occupying myself with my thoughts*

"but mom, i don't wanna wear the mask, it can't be that contagious"

>>593441630
just walked in, stole your seat.
>the last seat

>>593441398
Er... would you - by any chance - umm... like some help with that?

>>593441843
Nigga you aint tellin me where it at doe

>>593441894
Pull phone out again, nothing new, back to pocket.
>feel like a dumbass
Awkwardly look around if anyone noticed

>>593441894
*take phone out again check time close check again close*

boner from that hot girl is not going away and i need to stand up

The quality of the thread dropped significantly in the time it took me to grab this

http://youtu.be/L_Srr85QZ3U

File: 1397066716240.jpg (21 KB, 500x390) Image search: [Google]

21 KB, 500x390

>>593440632
a..are you here for a prostate exam as well?

Nurse enters waiting room, looks at clipboard

Nurse: "FirstNameLastName?"

get up and walk to room.

/thread

> Sits next to you
> Could you help?
> I need about tree fiddy

*Pulls headphones out every 30 seconds to see if other people can hear music*

File: image.jpg (21 KB, 303x470) Image search: [Google]

21 KB, 303x470

>>593441963

"Sir you took my seat "

>>593441465
Y-you too.

'someone starts singing quietly...'

"Sitting in the waiting room
Ahhh...
Sitting in the waiting room
Ahhh..."

File: image.jpg (83 KB, 599x625) Image search: [Google]

83 KB, 599x625

>>593442168
Check out my rockin shirt

File: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.jpg (8 KB, 117x134) Image search: [Google]

8 KB, 117x134

>shifts in seat
>everyone in the room fucking stares

*starts browsing /b/, accidentally loli bread, mom next to me looks shocked...*

*Look around, imagining what illness everyone has*
make eye contact with old as dirt woman
>she knows

>>593442131
So... threads these days, am I right?

>>593438239
Sit quietly in the corner and watches everyone. I don't even have an appointment. I'm just here to creep.

*three 18 year old hot girls walk in with leggings on. Go to bathroom. Come back out and sit right across from them. Take creepshots for /b*

*mutters to herself* "Come oooooon"

File: ralph_furley.png (338 KB, 830x728) Image search: [Google]

338 KB, 830x728

>>593441854

Try to prevent myself from staring at some woman breast feeding her baby
>she makes eye contact with me

File: okshowmethatrashgonorrheayetagainuseacondomedammit.jpg (34 KB, 558x314) Image search: [Google]

34 KB, 558x314

NEXT!

*Enter the room and stare in disbelief as loud kids are running all over the place, while an armed man is pointing his weapon at the rest of the people, one of which is jerking off the guy next to him*

*cough*
>person across the room coughed a split second before me, not enough time to stop my cough
*another person coughs and another*
>everyone, including me thinks "Oh god, they think I only coughed because that guy coughed, but I really just needed to, it's not related to his coughing at all
>first guy hides a smile, because he knows what everyone is thinking

>>593442267
if it's ur seat why weren't u sittin in it m9, u tryna get rekt or sumfin? ill bash ya fockin head in.

>>593438239
*rereads bbc news app 50 times*

File: 1420993964686.png (42 KB, 700x700) Image search: [Google]

42 KB, 700x700

>>593442638
eh

Mr 4chan guy, the doctor is ready for you

>enters room, looks for empty seat

>>593442372
Yeah... *fidgets*. I keep trying to find the good ones though.

>>593442641
>see overthinking, skinny dude rapidly looking around after coughing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqAbwIlBluI

>>593442661
I swear on me mum

*whisper insults about people to a friend because we are people watching*

>>593439725
Fucking jungle bunny listening to tribal nigger music.

>>593441854
*old guy's actually the receptionist."

*"imma fuck a white bitch" ring tone plays loudly, fumbles to turn it off* *notices everyone is white*

>>593442661

I got up to fuck ur fucking mum in the restroom u fucking cunt get the fuck up.

>>593439962
LMAO I get that a few times.

File: tard_nazi.jpg (87 KB, 555x980) Image search: [Google]

87 KB, 555x980

>>593439504

File: 1132520907.jpg (5 KB, 300x225) Image search: [Google]

5 KB, 300x225

>>593442991

Watch in disgust as old guy tries to moisten his mouth, smacking and salivating like a newborn

pfffffffft

try to listen to radio tunes from universe's tiniest, most treble speaker. Give up and start to check all my pockets for headphones

*opens trenchcoat, pulls out pistol*
"EVERYBODY ON THE GROUND!"

>>593441086
I watch your kind, I know what you really want to do on your phones....because I do to :,(

File: Pusheen_It_To_The_Limit.gif (1 MB, 350x300) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 350x300

*Stands In Middle of Room. and Removes Coat*

*Screams* ALLAH ACKBAR

*Blows everyone up kills everyone*

/gaythread

>>593443351
Sir, take a number please, this man was here first >>593441465

File: 5i5sBYB.png (69 KB, 680x453) Image search: [Google]

69 KB, 680x453

ITT: le le le le

>>593443351
*immediately offers oral sex in exchange for being spared*

>>593443351
"Shut up, this is a waiting room"

File: doctors-receptionist-O86dM9-mdn.jpg (64 KB, 300x400) Image search: [Google]

64 KB, 300x400

>>593443351
The doctor will be with you in a minute.
Please take a seat in the waiting room.

File: 2Murphy2.png (297 KB, 500x375) Image search: [Google]

297 KB, 500x375

>>593443494

File: image.jpg (55 KB, 634x353) Image search: [Google]

55 KB, 634x353

Hey y'all I'm bill and I'm gonna sing a song today

Welllllllll I like pies chicken meat balls chicken human goat me me s money and food

Dad suck my balls dad suck my balls dad's da

I like women men children fathers neon people seen ckeo

Dads suck my sucks mans suck my ducks do do do

>>593442213
this shit only happens after 3 hours of waiting
i always love the levels of awkwardness i get to
level one : first 30-50 minutes awkwardly staring anywhere not trying to look people directly in the eyes breathing slowly and also a little scared
level 2 after 1 hour
a little more chilled out not really caring anymore
level 3 after 1 hour 30 minutes
i could do anything i like i dont give a fuck anymore fuck these people why am i waiting so long

EVERY FUCKING TIME

>>593443090
na m8, sry, this is my seat

Why does this room smells like fart?

>stroll into waiting room
>trip over goosebumps book pile
>get on the floor
>everybody walks the dinosaur

>>593439247
I just watched that episode!

File: 2Z3Zo8D.gif (829 KB, 150x250) Image search: [Google]

829 KB, 150x250

Someone coughs
*covers nose and mouth*

COVER YOUR MOUTH

>>593443734

Y r u so mean I have arthritis plz

move around in chair trying to release a fart silently
>faaart
try to look around as relaxed and naturally as possible

b0ss i habe a cancer

>>593443737

>pfffffffft

File: .jpg (13 KB, 480x269) Image search: [Google]

13 KB, 480x269

>>593443646
Half Life 3

>>593444116
*sniffs*
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL?!

>>593442641
*trying to avoid eye contact with mind reader*
*instinctively think of something else in case he really turns out to be a mind reader*
*realize all I can think of are dicks, because my first though was "don't think about dicks"*
*look up in shock, trying to read from his face if he now thinks I am gay*
Speak out before I can stop my self "I am not gay."
>All eyes on me

File: image.jpg (23 KB, 481x236) Image search: [Google]

23 KB, 481x236

>>593443351
Hey fuck you *shoots*

>>593442989
*Gets told off by a femanazi and goes to jail. Gets raped by mexicans*

>>593444249
Confirmed?

>>593444254
stare at floor thoroughly and just take peeks to see if i'm suspected yet

File: 1347831420153.gif (2 MB, 162x191) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 162x191

>>593444116
EWWWW YOU FARTED

Disgusting cunt!

>>593443080
*35 year old white woman smiles at you*

*husband notices. Smiles even harder*

>>593444575
*realize I caused a scene and have no one to vent on because my wife left me for a lesbian just 4 hours earlier*

great now i have to see a doctor from all the cancer ive gotten from this thread

You have 3 minutes to solve the riddle crack the code and I'll disarm

Fujngtnffjnfekjfkfnien good luck

File: image.jpg (62 KB, 615x341) Image search: [Google]

62 KB, 615x341

>>593444975

rapidly look around, trying to find out whether bailing or staying is more suspicious

>>593438239
*hemorrhages internally*

>>593439725
nigger detected

File: image.jpg (40 KB, 358x310) Image search: [Google]

40 KB, 358x310

>>593444656
this made my dad

*sitting silently here for all the time, one leg crossed over the other like a sir*
*finally my name is beeing called, i stay up, leg slept in and now control of it*
*fall right at the floor face first*
everyone watching