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>>582140004

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>>chinman
Worth the read

>>582140389
3edgy5me

im going to track down and kill whoever did that to that dog

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>>582140389

>>582140693
considering how long ago that was originally posted, originally filmed, I'd have to say... sure you will champ, never give up.

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>>582140693
Good luck

>>582140389
Extremely angry now thanks anon you fuckin piece of shit

>>582140746
>>582140294
Edgy faggots
>>582140693
white knight

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Trying to get my shittier stuff out of the way

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>>582141187
Alright

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1/?

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2/?

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3/?

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>>582141493
Gold

>>582140467
way too fuckin small bro

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OP here

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>>582141928
My bad. I would upload them separately but I lost the first of the four parts

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OP yet again

>>582140693

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p37_Ux1G_BI

>>582140389
Fak you. I cannot watch shovel dog shit. Give me human torture anyday.

>>582140557

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBqzLbQcJpY

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>>582140746

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Legit.... Took screen shots before they deleted

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1/2

>>582142343
That one is going in the fucking vault

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>>582143043
Lovely

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>>582141493
I haven't lost that hard in years. Thank you, Anon.

>>582143043
i lost to this

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>>582143216
2/2

>>582141940
>>582141710
>>582141624
I haven't seen these before, they're great.

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post some more starter packs. I've been loosing to these lately.

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Long read but worth it

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>>582143043

>>582140389
Too soon....

>>582140620
LOST

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some Crumb

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>>582144660

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>>582144553

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>>582144653

>>582141928
Open it in a new tab

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>>582141487
Mfw I'm
Mfw I'll be breeding with a German blue eyed cutie soon

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>>582144873

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>>582144829

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>>582144660
Topkek

>>582144653
took you some time faggot

>>582140467
Maybe I could try to read it if you saved .png instead of .jpg

>>582144829
What I mean to say was that I'm mexican and im breeding with a German qt
Feelsgoodman.jpg

>>582143991
newfag

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>>582145008

>>582141187
Obese nerd

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>>582140389

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Hands up dont shoot RIP

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>>582145312
I came here to laugh, not to feel.

>>582144948
I've been breeding with a Japanese cutie for the bast 7 years, have 2 kids.

i'm very white by the way, my genetic ancestry is from mostly norther Europe.

how does that make you feel?

nothing like a little racial mixing to get the people on /pol/ mad.

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>>582141187

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more Crumb

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>>582145171
I approve
>>582145169
I'm on mobile

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>>582140620
I was there when that happened, 2 people died
17 total people injured

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>>582145845

>>582145312
what the fuck is wrong with molg h

>>582141187
Did you even watch the first one you fucking idiot?

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>>582146313

>>582141624
I hope/wish that's real.

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>>582146173

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Heaven's gf

>>582144660
>>582144829
>>582145020
>>582145845
>>582146173

looks like some edge lord decided to put his artistic talent to pushing his deep south ideals after his sister broke up with him.

angry Americans can make such interesting things, if only he could put his comic skill to good use he could acualy make a living, but I guess rabid paranoia and racism on the internet is a better choice.

>>582144548
nice

>>582146537
hahaha ive lost to all of these

>>582146603
oh, not only an endge lord but a christian too, guess he got good at drawing as he spent his early life failing school and just doodling in the margin.

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>>582146820
That Chick from game of thrones

>>582146537
>>582145312
>>582145008
>>582144873
>>582144553
>>582143043
These are genuinely fucking creepy

so i have some OC green text about a good friend of mine if any anons are interested.
So i grew up with a kid named sasha who got paid to make his youtube videos, he isn't a normal guy Here are some stories of sasha the illegal russian alien

>I grew up in a nice neighborhood
>15 kid's of similar age so we pretty much did everything together after school
>One neighbor, we call him penguin, has a band and all that shit
>brings his bassist, sasha, to hang out with us one day
>kid is socially awkward and not athletic so he wasn't winning points with us
>but then
>we decide to play kick the can
>for us it was a version of hide and seek, as you were found you could only get free by another kicking the can without being caught
>whatever that's unimportant
>we all hide and play like normal 9-15 year olds
>sasha isn't normal
>sasha is an illegal immigrant from russia and hasn't exactly figured out what we call "laws"
>he hides in a neighbors garage
>noone see's him hide
>we can't find him for about 30 minutes
>we stop looking
>see neighbors yellow mid life crisis corvette driving by
>look to wave
>not my neighbor but I don't think much of it
>car turns into my driveway
>we are all sitting around confused
>notice who is driving the corvette
>mfw it's sasha
>he parks with a tire on the can
>we are all speechless
>sasha get's out of the car say's "kick the can. assholes"
>get's back in the car
>drives off in the opposite direction of the owner of the cars house

I have no idea how exactly, but he somehow took the car around for a few miles and returned to the garage and must have got away with it because none of us got in trouble, and as i said it was a nice neighborhood so everyone left their keys in their car
I know this doesn't make him that weird, but there's a lot more

>>582147080
FUCK. Lost TWICE. What's wrong with me?

>>582147080
Wow, ugly as fuck and has a bad attitude. She's goin places.

>>582142135
the file name of the second reaction is the best part

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>>582140004
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCW8kRT57pw
kek

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>>582147087

>>582145152
Almost lost.
Almost.
7/10

>>582147098
OP says carry on

>>582146828
>>582147061
you faggots really need some education
google Robert Crumb
you might learn what is underground comic, social critique and satire

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>>582147061
You do realize the guy posting these isn't the one that made them?

>>582147372
Be a man

>>582145152
I don't get it.

>>582147639
I imagine she has one of those high pitch nasal voices that are annoying as fuck.

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>>582147845
Bane reference

>>582147098
Carry on faggot, these sort of stories are always funny.

>>582141624
The place is real, I live by it. It's the McDonalds head office in Lower Mainland are. the crows fly from the McBarge to that McDonalds.

>>582147519
carry on it is
not too long after the kick the can thing...

>Sasha penguin and I are starting to hang out a decent amount
>we play xbox, joke around standard shit
>we are 15 at the time
>sasha and penguin supposed to sleep over
>sasha comes, penguin got in trouble and can't
>shit I have never really been alone with this kid
>just playing xbox and working on some of his let's play video's for his channel
>sasha had a different upbringing than me
>his dad was a russian drug lord
>his dad killed his mom when she was young for stealing
>sasha grew up drinking and at 15 was pretty much an alcoholic
>he brought boose
>we are both drinking but I hadn't really drank at that point so i was mostly faking
>he was getting too drunk to do commentary for his videos
>we decide it's time for bed
>he insists he take my bed
>i feel generous and take my couch
>watching tv in the dark
>look over to my bed
>he has his dick out
>just masturbating
>i am ten feet away
>"what the fuck sasha, you're in my fucking bed"
>sasha explains that i'm being rude and that I need to "stop being an asshole"
>mfw while he is arguing this he is still jerking off
>looking me in the eye
>kick him off my bed
>tell him to finish in the bathroom
>he listens
>appearently he decided to jizz on my sisters hair brush
>he told me that a couple years later
>he told me he frequently masturbates into strangers hairbrushes
>he likes that it makes women think they have dandruff

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>>582140389

>yfw soldier did it

>>582147568
If 200 people view this you'll score a point

>>582148520
Kek

>>582145152
Can someone explain the joke here?

>>582148320
>>he told me he frequently masturbates into strangers hairbrushes
>>he likes that it makes women think they have dandruff
Fucking genuinely funny

>>582142456
I lost. I dont know why.

>>582148790
movie lines from batman

>>582147568
Is there something in this or just made to fuck my eyes up

>>582148950
>hanging out with sasha on a thursday after school
>decide to go to a friends dorm to party
>get to dorm and get drunk way too fast
>hear about a animal product testing facility near the college and want to see it
>sasha want's to set the monkey's free
>walk a few miles to the building
>tall fence around it, but no barb wire or anything
>I climb over fine
>sashas next
>gets to the top of the fence
>jeans get caught on the fence
>he falls
>writhing in pain
>his jeans ar ripped open wide
>so is his ballsack
>we freak the fuck out
>have to get to the other side of the fence
>he has to climb an 8 foot fence with a torn ballsack
>he makes it
>we journey back to the dorm
>Go up to grab hime pants and clean him up
>cant find anything good to keep his sack closed
>ductape his sack closed
>seems legit
>drive to the nearest ER
>about 25 minuts away
>sasha passes out on the ride
>get to the ER and carry him to a wheelchair
>still passed out
>wheel him up to the lady at the desk
>3 a.m.
>she knows we done goofed
>I explain that my friend has a torn scrotum
>Explain I was the designated driver and was just doing my duties
>I'm still hammered decided to salute her and instructed her she could "keep him for the night" and left

he ended up with 7 stitches and was more than ok to leave the night before, we had to explain ourselves pretty thoroughly to get the hospital to not call the cops>>582148320

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>>582149165
Nah fucks your eyes up.

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>>582140389
I lost

>>582140389
couln't it at least be one of those little yappy dogs that bever shut up? i'd pay to see one of those get slowly tortured to death

>>582149359
Please tell me there is more of Torn Nut Sasha.

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>>582149707
Absolutely disgusting

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>>582147845

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gER7xe11nz8

>>582149889
indeed there is a few more stories
sasha was a lightweight of a drinker, and whenever we went out drinking he would carry a shitty sparring glove for a punching bag, i dont know if they have a term for that but whatever

>at a local bar
>sasha has the stupid fucking glove on
>drinking shots of vodka
>using glove hand
>his "lucky glove"
>sure enough
>grills come over
>7/10's nothing great but lucky glove is going to go thumb deep
>he's one of those quirky mysterious guys with girls
>so dumb but it works
>i get her friend and try to smash
>he is getting hammered
>hardly can stand
>girl still wants his d
>we go back to sashas place
>they go to the room together
>i focus on my girl
>going well 15 minutes in while shes blowing me we hear a loud scream
>girl runs to get out of sashas room
>girl runs into the fucking closed door
>we hear a thud
>her friend still on her knees in front of me
>girl bursts out of sashas room flipping shit and soaking wet
>needs to leave
>what the fuck did you do sasha
>sasha had to pee when they started fucking
>he was hammered
>he decided letting a little pee out when he was fucking her would just be lube
>he couldn't stop peeing
>he pissed all over her and his room
>she left bare ass naked
>she never came back

she seriously must be pretty scarred from this he said he got it on her face too

>>582141614
wtf is this from an r crumb comic?

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Rolley the raccoon

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>>582150204
Idk got it on /pol/

>>582141821
Fucking lost

>>582142456
i always see this posted
what is wrong with this bro's face?

>>582143873
Muh sides

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>>582150617
Some ring in his lips I assume

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>>582140389
You call that gore? Step up faggot.

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best of /b/

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>>582150936
Loled

>>582143716
amazing

>>582150171
>>582149889

still have about 4 more about sasha if anyone is into it

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>>African space program

>>582151562
Come on dude, don't make me prod after each one, dump those fuckers.

>>582151562
Yes

>>582151679
ask to save the photo, may i?

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>>582151779
it's all yours my friend

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The banana makes me cringe.

>>582151732
>>582151749
fair enough, just dumping now
>sasha and I are actually starting to be pretty tight bros
>he does weird shit but he was a great wingman
>he spoke russian to impress girls but usually he was calling them cunts and stuff and they think he is being sweet
>he is starting to get pretty popular on youtube at this point and is starting to make good money
>like 6 grand a month
>we were only juniors
>he doesn't know what to spend his money on
>decides we need to have a little fun with $1000
>brainstorm what to buy
>one of my neighbors is old as shit and lives across from me
>decide to haunt her with pizza
>I live in the suburbs just outside of a large city and we have more pizza delivery places than ever should be socially acceptable
>Call over a few of my other buddies
>make a list of pizza places open and their phone numbers
>we all start calling
>we order 1 pizza at a time from each restaurant
>delivery
>pay with sashas debit card over the phone
>different toppings on each pizza
>order from 25 of the 50 pizza places
>watch out my window
>first pizza is here
>watch confusion chuckle to start
>slowly more and more pizza delivery guys show up
>fucking konga line of pizza guys
>lady trying to reject the pizzas
>pizza boys gathering in her lawn
>frantically calling their bosses to find out what they should to with the pizza
>some just say fuck it and leave
>one decides to sit on the trunk of his car and eat pizza
>we are in hysterics watching this woman freak the fuck out about these pizzas
>she starts just accepting all the pizza
>we watch as she piles the first stack of 20 ish pizzas
>finally she settles back in her house
>round two engage

>>582152060
>25 more pizzas
>lady flips her shit
>showing the pizza guys all the pizza's
>they are all reacting differently
>some laugh
>some are pissed
>neighbors are starting to come out of their houses this time to see what is going on and why our 70 year old neighbor ordered so much food
>we join them trying to maintain our sides
>she gives us pizzas
>mfw she says she has celiac disease and cant even eat pizza
>go inside with almost all of our pizza
>bank calls sasha
>asks if he made 50 purchases from pizza places today
>sasha acts appalled
>get's refunded
>we eat pizza for a month

>>582151678
fukkin lost

>>582152181
Sasha had a weird thing with pooping. He liked to poop in or on peoples things, at first i found it gross, i came around to how hilarious it was.
he frequently pooped in peoples mailboxes, he actually was good at it if that makes any sense, pooping in a mailbox on a post is a bit high so he learned how to problem solve to achieve his goal
He never really targeted one specific person until one day some bitch named karly was about to find out.

>so we were in our english class talking before the teacher came in
>i have no idea why but sasha had a strangely strong connection to our local AA baseball team
>he fucking loved them
>he didn't even like baseball
>either way he was talking about their season starting soon
>karly invites herself to the conversation
>talks shit about the team
>sasha calls her a cunt and gets sent to the office
>we meet up later that day
>he won't drop it
>we are doing something about it i guess
>he decides he wants it to be poop related
>we decide to mail her packages of poop that we dropped in a fedex pickup box
>mail a box a day for 3 weeks
>every box includes a candid picture of her at school
>make it as weird for her as possible
>becomes a schoolwide issue
>cops called
>investigation is done
>luckily only me and sasha knew this was going on to that point
>wait 4 months until the end of summer
>2 more weeks of boxed poop
>photos of her family this time
>i pooped on her grandma
>cops come back
>even bigger deal this time
>get away with it but definitely more stressful this time
>decide to not do that anymore
>we get drunk one night a summer later
>sasha wants one more shot
>fuck it let's do this
cont..

>>582152306
>drive to her house
>nice tucked back house, easy target
>sasha has his poop in a bag
>he goes to their garage door
>i go to her front steps
>I drop my pants and cannon shot a very soft stool that splats like the nickolodeon symbol
>place family photo in it
>he is smearing a message on the garage door with his shit
>it reads "shitty people get shitty lives"
>leave
>read about it on her facebook the next day
>my sides when she posted a photo of the garage
>2 years later we run into her at a party
>sasha fucks her
>finishes
>they come back to the party and he says the dumbest thing i've ever heard him say
>"huh i guess you aren't so shitty afterall"
>cops pick him up the next fucking day
>goes to jail for 40 days for poop

>>582149927
wow u r maymay lord

>>582152450
Sasha finally settled with a girl for like a year or so, but abruptly dumped her and it seemed like they were doing great but then it fell off so i asked what happened and he explained this... I'll talk from his point of view it will be easier to type quickly,

>hanging out with my girlfriend trying to get it in
>she starts asking about weird turn ons
>explain to her i like dominating women, tying them up ect.
>ask her about her weird fetishes
>she get's weird and doesn't want to say but seems like she does want to say
>finally get it out of her that she for some reason is turned on by the idea of fish going down on her or some shit
>try to react as calm as possible and say I'm into it and that it's cool
>she wants me to go down on her and keeps calling it "bass to mouth"
>i ignore it to get laid
>she is going ape shit
>writhing and turning and i don't notice her reach on the nightsstand an grab something
>she signals for me to come up to kiss her and her hand comes up and sticks something in my mouth
>it fucking hurts
>hook goes through about 80% of my cheek
>almost poking out the other side
>she is still playing with herself
>and cums
>fucking hard
>the hook goes all the way through my cheek
>flip out headbutt her
>she goes nuts
>leave in my underwear
>go to see grandma with hook in my cheek
>have her take it out
>he had to explain this story to her
>she found it hilarious

He still has a scar on his cheek from giving a girl bass to mouth...

>>582152582
>Decide to take a road trip with him at 21
>we stop at foxwoods casino for a night
>hungry and stoned when we get there
>go to fuddruckers
>he doesn't order food
>he steals a head of lettuce
>he starts marching up and down rows of people at slots and tables
>shouting "LETTUCE GAMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
>people have mixed reactions
>security doesn't like it
>doesn't like it at all
>starts walking toward him
>he notices
>he bolts
>straight toward the mgm
>holding the lettuce the whole time
>i casually walk and follow eating fries trying to maintain my sides
>almost at the hotel, on the second floor
>bigass fancy business party going on
>dude in a tux playing a cello and everything
>sasha sprints by
>see's his chance
>fucking hums this head of lettuce and hits the sax player
>right in the sax
>sax falls
>lettuce everywhere
> he runs
>gets chased out of the casino and finds the car and gets in
>i had a feeling we would need to leave so i was already headed to the car
>sprinting now
>go to mohegan instead for the night

>>582152706

these are good you know if i wasnt so lazy i'd screencap them for future threads.

>>582152706
Sasha has a neighbor he doesn't like so he decided to do this
>i have no clue what exactly he hates so much about the neighbor but whatever
>he started with a drunken note he wrote and dropped in their mailbox
>it read "you slimy bastard"
>nothing too big but he made it a lot bigger
>he starts placing things related to slime at random intervals in the neighbors mail
>home made slime
>nickolodeon slime
>a signed photo from the host of slime time live
>yeah i guess you can buy that online these days
>he slowly started to shift it into things about nickolodeon
>leaving blimps
>coloring books that were all colored in but he decided to buy a bedazzler and bedazzle dicks on the pictures of the characters
>spongebob colored perfectly
>large sparking boner
>the guy one day borderline catches sasha
>sasha runs to his house and hopes to avoid confrontation
>not gunna happen
>neighbor marches up to his house and knocks
>sasha thinks fast and with a way smarter idea than i could pull off
>strips to his boxers
>deshevels his hair
>slaps both his cheeks
>answers door
>neighbor shocked asks if he knew anything about weird stuff in his mailbox
>sasha explains he was just in bed and not feeling too hot and that he hasn't left the house today
>luckily the neighbor didnt hear me in the other room
>sasha frames a kid from down his street
>says he's been noticing the kid going to the mailbox alot lately but thought it was normal
>neighbor goes to kids house
>kids mom reams him out loud enough for us to hear 3 houses down

Sorry boy's that's all i have typed of sasha tonight, and honestly i've never gotten a screencap story, atleast ran into one of them. maybe one day.....

>>582152706
It's copy pasta. Stop.

>>582152450
>Nickelodeon symbol
Kek'd

>>582141624
when i first read this, i thought every "crow" said "clown"
no shit

>>582153037
it' from me 2 night's ago, ive posted most stories once, and 3 of them twice. i can copy my own pasta you filth

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Guys, don't forget to save all these bananas to post in the next funny thread to make everyone laugh. Enjoy!

>>582153015
Never seen these these stories before. Shit was funny, screen capped them the best I could. Thanks for that laughs anon.

>>582153752
glad my typing this story was atleast save by one other person, sasha deserves the exposure.

>>582147098
More please!

>>582154240
He's done /b/ro

>>582154240
Oh my God it's copy pasta... THIS IS THE FUCKING REAL IMAGE!
http://imgur.com/a/M4z7g

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These are rather recent

>>582141821
FUCK HOW DID I LOSE TO THIS

>>582153303
You wrote that? Shit I'm sorry. Oh and btw did it really happen?

>>582146030
>>582140620
As a structural engineer, this both intrigues and terrified me.

>>582154240
I already posted the 9 stories i have typed up
>>582147098
>>582148320
>>582149359
>>582150171
>>582152060
>>582152181
>>582152306
>>582152450
>>582152582
>>582152706
>>582153015
>>582154438
HOLY FUCKING SHIT I ACTUALLY GOT A THING DEDICATED TO THIS?
>>582154727
I can honestly say this stuff did happen, the only things that might be off are the words said but they are very close, were you in my original thread??

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>>582154620

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>>582154727
also my jpeg files match the imgur

>>582155134
I wasn't in the original thread but I read it in /r/greentext.
(I'm not going to be an asshole to someone who makes greentext)

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>>582155475

>>582144326
What is he doing? I cant understand it

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>>582144829

>>582155567
wow well yeah i am surprised it showed up there so quick

>>582140294
lost fuck you

>>582150543
fuckin lost

>>582155752
Oh yeah it was a good story. And I was wanting to ask, what ever did happen to Sasha? Is he like still your friend or in jail in Russia or what?

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>>582155847
You too goyim
:^)

>>582146828

It's Robert Crumb you shitlord.

>>582143873
lost hard as fuck

>>582155952
he is making bank off youtube and killin it, comes back here on occasion, still bros, but hard to stay tight from mass to Colorado

>>582156398
Damn... What's his Youtube channel?

>>582144548
>Dennis the Menace

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>>582145152
someone had to do it

>>582156525
https://www.youtube.com/user/ImmortalHDFilms

honestly his videos don't really do him justice these days, he does what's popular, not what he wants to do

>>582146828
>>582146828
Go back to reddit newfag

>>582141940
I cum into cups in my room and one time one had really old rum and coke and I kept cumming into it then one day after like a month a fucking giant shroom grew on the inside and it as the coolest fucking thing ever, can't find the pic for the life of me

>>582156525
first thread i didn't share his channel because i was still deciding if it would end bad or not but then i realized why the fuck not so this is exclusive to the sasha story

>>582147061
What the fuck is an endge lord ?
Did you get lost on tumbler ?

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>>582140389

What the fuck is wrong with you cunt

>>582157275
De'nesha Diamond

>>582156980
Holy shit..

>>582156894
what the hell is wrong with /b/

>>582157585
sasha is real, stories are real, can't timestamp the past but it really is all true.

>>582157739
honestly that anon is everything right with /b/

>>582157739
Shut up and fap

>>582157808
That's fucking amazing...

>>582146820
>sage

>>582158109
i appreciate appreciation

>>582141195
Lost to thi

>>582158542
wat is thi

>>582146374
wat a idiot. i lost

>>582142529
I lost so hard so you have sauce?

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Just happened...

>>582159435
Link thread?

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>>582159159
Nope found it here. Worth searching livelink

>>582159435
This OC is good.
Since when is OC ever good?
Anyway 5.5/10 made me exhale air with slightly more force than usual

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I'm looking for this one screencap I saw a few months ago. It was some forum discussion between a couple guys calling themselves some sort of "bro" alliance or something. The first guy is talking about this girl he fucked and how he's gonna upload her nudes, then the second guy is posting over and over again asking when the nudes will be up, and the last guy is bragging about how he had to "take another one for the team" as he describes all the fat chicks he fucked. It ends with the original guy finally coming back and saying how he accidentally murdered the girl he took nudes of, then the guy fucking fat girls is like "that's cool but check this out, I just fucked ANOTHER fatty."

If anyone knows the screencap I'm talking about and has it I will love you forever.

>>582156779
but immortals name aleks, not sasha, what a load of shit mate

>>582159701
>>582115428

>>582159980
well here is where you are dumb, also another story for you.
Immortals name when he lived in russia was sasha , coming to the US he had the option to pic a new name and he did and forever regretted it by picking the name "aleksander" he was mad he used the k for obvious reasons. but to sashas friends from home he is and always will be sasha.

>>582159839

back story to that webm mate

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>>582159839
Disregard that, I double checked my folder and found it. Pic related.

>>582160263
No idea

Is in russian sasha translates to aleks. So back home he was called sasha

>>582160256
how did he get treated in the ER if he was an illegal immigrant you dope.
Here in my country we make sure of these things

>>582160386
this
and he was mad he didn't just spell aleks the american way, "alex" obviously

>>582140004
you were so close to quads haha
>>582140000

>>582160446
he was 17 years old at the time, In the US he didn't have to worry about being "illegalL until he was 18, where he proved his residency with his grandmother and passed the tests required and became a US citzen

>>582160571
Lmao major bullshit

>>582160842
use google you fucking autist

>>582160918
FUCKING LOST HAHAHAHAHA!

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>>582140978
lost

>>582160831
okay
has he ever talked about this or been asked at a panel?
or have you ever contacted him?

>>582160831
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LbFR5-R5xs

>>582140004
I lost, I don't know why.

>>582161157
i honestly know mild detail about his citzenship at best and i contact him relatively frequently as he is one of my good friends still, we can't hang like we used to but we catch up frequently