>>580549459
Make another thread and paste the pasta again.

go have a threesome, I kno you can do it

kill them both
be happy

Fill the fridge with celery and bail, only option...

>>580549459
Be a man and grab the knife... Do it, now make them a sandwich you cuckolding faggot who thinks traps aren't gay.

>>580549459
should have whipped your dick out

Take a picture and post it fag

>>580549459
>stale

pasta.

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>>580549459
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOICE PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The only answer you need.

>>580549459
Beat the shit out of both of them.
Are you any good at grappling MA?

If you beat the shit out of both of them, you will almost definitely be able to convince them it was their fault later on, and make sure you don't bruise your ex-gf's face (if you have any self respect you will dump her, and put her out on the street tonight) women cant stand the idea of visible marks because they affiliate their face with their identity, (this is a generalisation, most women are not this shallow, but a woman who cheats doesn't get the benefit of the doubt, because she's shallow enough that instead of broaching the topic with you she convinced herself doing something spiteful was the only solution, so basically, your gf is a stupid bitch.)

You will almost definitely be able to keep your friend so long as you beat the shit out of him, if you don't beat him up, he will lose respect for you and see you as the beta to his alpha, and he will undoubtedly do this to you again.

Beating the shit out of them both and kicking her out is the ONLY way you solve this scenario without your immediate friends and family losing respect for you as a man.

And don't use weapons, regardless of if it is justified (and it IS) it is not socially acceptable, and it is an escalation.

Don't do it man but if you do post pics first

>>580551752
And whatever you do, don't cry.
Even if you do cry, DO NOT sob.
Don't even talk, just beat the shit out of them.

And make sure you get the jump on them.

Anyone not formally trained is almost useless to joint manipulation, and it doesn't leave physical damage (so long as you don't break their arms)

Even if you have to sucker punch your mate in the face, just open the door and run in, shoulder throw the chick off the bed, then punch your mate in the face, then drag him off the bed and kick the shit out of him for a good 30 seconds, then go for a walk, leave the house, come back an hour later and throw your ex-gf out on the street (if she is still there)

It is really the only choice open to you because you didn't strike when you first walked in.

>>580549459
>>580551752
>>580552221
looking forward to hearing your jail stories op :)

>>580549459
get your ass in there and join them

>>580549459
Copy pasta

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>>580549459
Noice copypasta m8.

>>580549459
kill'em nigger

Join them, that way your gf never cheated on you.

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this is some stale pasta

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>>580554296
Its noice that you knew that too m8! ;^)

>>580549459
anyone got source on this ?

>>580554504
Go to imagefap search lolita
>?????
>Profit

>>580549459
things that didnt happen

stale pasta

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>>580549459

The type of guys that have this kind of fantasy really should just an hero already... Can you imagine Major Richard Winters having a fantasy about being a little sissy boy who can't satisfy his woman?

> grow the fuck up, OP

>>580549459
Kill them both

ask them for a bowl of spaghetti.

Start cooking dinner. Jesus Christ, show some hospitality.