Everyone, meet Maude. Maude, everyone.
Maude is not the picture of physical wellness. She is, in fact, a disaster. This is not debatable and that status is irreducible. Axiomatically, she is a disaster. That said, however, she is a disaster with needs. Deep, gnawing needs. Here, I will regale you with a story about the time I spent with Maude.
We met online. The internet is such a great invention for the lonely, isn't it? I never had the confidence to seek someone with my fetish in real life. Maude told me something similar. The mere fact that we found one another seemed like serendipity; Maude likened it to Salk discovering penicillin. "Beautiful," I thought.
After chatting with one another for a few days and learning that we were a mere 100 miles apart, we decided to meet. I remember pulling into her driveway and sitting in my car and trembling with excitement. I'd already begun to seep through my pants; the corduroy glossy and moist like the side of a McDonald's bag. Her doorbell rang when my shaky finger pushed the button and the door immediately opened. She had been waiting.
We stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Mine were bright. Fiery with passion. Hers were dull and wet; wheat flour and molasses cookies left for days in a room with 100% humidity. Not a word was spoken. Slowly, she raised her chins, pointing her nose at the ceiling. And there it all was. Exposed. Explicit. Just like we had discussed.
Somehow the scent hit me even before my view had even focused. Sharp and acrid; an aged Stilton maturing at a tire fire. My mind reeled and I moved in.
>>577363630
I have a space between my front teeth. Why does this matter? It just so happens that the majority of her beautiful skin tags just fit between that gap. Their swollen tips are too fat, obviously, but their stalks aren't. That means once I get one in my mouth, I can use my teeth to pull. And pull. My tongue flicked against the turgid head as I stepped backward. The stalk stretched nearly a foot before it snapped. The head fell onto my tongue, leaking whatever gift was inside. Reverentially, I chewed. It took nearly 15 minutes for it to break apart.
I was so locked into my experience that I hadn't noticed that Maude was now nude. Her hands were at her hips, tracing lazy ovals around her 4" long nipples. For some reason, the carpet was now soaked. I moved back toward her neck again and again, each time capturing one of the beautiful prizes she'd grown for me. Once they were gone, I was exhausted. I ran my tongue over the fertile ground on which they grew, praying silently for their eventual regrowth.
I left, spent. And that's my story about Maude, the disaster. We still talk now and then, and she's told me how little nubs are starting to form on her neck like tiny shoots. I laughed and said it's springtime for her neck. She might have laughed, too. Can disasters laugh?
>mfw this thread
what the fucking fuck
>this thread
Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
I think shes too fat to not be fat, at this point.
>>577364054
i need an adult
>this tread
>>577363630
Don't, just DON'T
10/10 I gagged.
How did your parents raise you
And that was the day OP finally killed my boner.
rip in peace, my chubby little friend.
>>577364660
More like an exorcist
ERROR ERROR
>>577363630
>mfw
>>577363630
This is truly a vile story. I literally threw up in my mouth reading it. You are disgusting.
oh lord jesus, the story, then the comments, ... this is why I come here. bravo
>>577363630
OP, you magnificent bastard! if this is OC, i applaud you and i hope it someday becomes pasta. Great job, you're everything thats amazing about 4chins
>>577363630
I wish that I never learnt to read..
>>577363630
Marvelously constructed, you've officially made me a misanthrope.
What? You mean you didn't stick your tongue out and lick all that delectable treasure out from under her chins? The flavor would have knocked you out.
>>577363630
>I'd already begun to seep through my pants
we've all been there brah
hhhhhnnnngggggggghhhhhh
fuck all yall niggas
except my niggas
I came
>>577364969
yes yes yes
>>577363630
You are an awful writer
>>577363630
Oldfag alert also moar maude stories plz
> mfw this thread
OP you are true amazing, people cant understand the pure ecstasy of having zit liquid in your tongue, from a landwhale that prolly stores her excess fat in these pimples. Oh god Im diamond hard, imagine when you open her pussy and its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich. 10/10 would lick
continue please
>>577365435
trying hard?
10/10
would retch again
> mfw
God damnit OP
>mfw skin tags
>>577363630
Yeah nah, pretty sure that that is a picture of the deceased hambone known as Shay/Shae.
Pretty sure that the story of Shay/Shae is still floating around the internets.
>>577365534
Grilled cheese m8
wat
>>577363630
everything went fine till i noticed the arrow
>9001 no
>copy
>paste into English 101 paper
>profit?
Holy fuck I should not be eating lunch right now
Nice
>>577365217
I know you probably itch for opportunities to put people down on the internet, but I'm fairly certain the excessive similes were a literary device utilized to enhance absurdity for the sake of levity. Though admittedly I'm only speculating.
>>577363630
WHAT.
>>577363630
>>577363702
The only thing that kept my attention so long was OPs ability to write. Bravo op on that one, but seriously, WTF/10
>>577363630
It's over. I've seen such horrible things here for years, but I think you've reached the bottom. Congrats, you ruined all my hopes in humanity.
>>577363702
I can't unimagine any of that
>>577363630
dammit OP!!
I'am sipping on OJ and vodka, i almost puked it up. Why do we not shoot people like that? what are they good for? ey
>>577365737
There was a horrid porn story written about some fat chick masturbating, and it talked about spreading her pussy open like a grilled cheese sandwhich. you know what I'm talking about?
>>577363630
>>577365435
stop that
>>577363630
>Her hands were at her hips
I doubt that
>>577363630
>>577365604
das a preddy gud pic of anita. i loled too.
I hate fat people forever
This is actually really well written. Good stuff. Discusting as fuck but you're a good writer
That is the most putrid thing I've ever read.
Please, continue.
> 4chin
I'm sitting at my computer having just read that. It's like I'm afraid to open my mouth because I'm afraid I might imagine what that tastes like.
Well done OP
>>577363630
Do go on.
Maude is on her way over to my humble apartment as we speak. I tremble with excitement knowing every moment I stand waiting, she is hurtling towards me. Soon the taxi will pull up and I will embrace her folds once more, my face quick to be buried in her festering neck.
>>577363630
>tfw as usual, OP is a fag.
>>577367676
OP 67676
repeating decimals is love repeating decimals is life
>>577367604
what the fuck is that????
>>577367830
>>577367954
Should have blacked out facebook tab, prepare your anus.
>>577363630
>>577363702
>>577368175
awww shiiiit
>>577368175
if only that were my facebook
>>577368402
Or is it...
I'm to lazy to fuck with it, but i just had to call attention to it in hopes someone else would.
Toasting in epic bread
>>577363630
>>577363702
This should be a goddamn book.
>>577363630
i wonder if thats what its like under cleveland brown jr's neck
>>577368704
50 shades of skin tags
anyone who want to be her white knight maybe? it seems not fair if whiteknight only appears for titties and cuties chicks..you know
>>577363630
Are they more gristle like or are they stringy?
>>577367954
Still cringe worthy
>>577367954
>implying nobody knew the image was older than the internet immediately
Every single person in this thread knew that except you.
Is that...holy fuck is that MOLD UNDER HER 30TH FUCKING CHIN?
>>577367676
puking my balls out my ass now, thanks OP. I will never be able to scrub that mental image from my mine
>Skin tag between my teeth
>>577367954
that picture is old as fuck, obviously this is fiction. great disgusting fiction
>>577369059
Mold from the Nth dimension. Pretty sure that's cthulu sprouting from her chin.
I was in and had to leave early because I started puking you degenerate. I applaud you sir, someone screencap this disaster
>>577363630
Well done OP
>>577363630
>Slowly, she raised her chins, pointing her nose at the ceiling. And there it all was. Exposed. Explicit. Just like we had discussed.
Well done old chap
>>577367604
I came
>>577363630
OP...I... I... don't even...
What the actual fuck?
Salk did the polio vaccine didn't he? Not penicillin. Stupid fat bitch.
Also this story is not very nice.
Abandon thread!
>>577363630
>>577363702
Dear God.
>>577370731
She spoke pure poetry. Don't question her.
>>577363630
Well done OP
Wtf is on her neck someone explained please
>>577371792
love. springtime of love.
My neck is so itchy.
>>577363630
ya know whats the best part? that shit on her neck is contagious, she scratches it and then touches everything in walmart
Holy shit, posting in an epic thread
>>577367604
That feels like watching the ocean compared to OP' post.
>>577363630
>>577364969
This.
HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNGHGHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHGHGHGHG
epic
>>577363630
This has great potential to become pasta one day. Keep posting you
>pic related
Best thread ever!
>>577368121
A dead horse
>>577363702
quality reading material
>>577363630
>>577363702
My only issue with OP's story is I've seen this picture before...beyond that...what the actual fuck
>>577363702
The vivid detail of your story makes it so much worse... good job OP... you made me imagine all that.
>>577367954
Thanks for the news, Chad
>>577363630
>I have a space between my front teeth. Why does this matter? It just so happens that the majority of her beautiful skin tags just fi
Nope, stopped reading there because I was sick a little bit in my mouth.
>>577364969
this is REALLY old pasta actually, proves how much the /b/ userbase has changed
>>577363630
I have 1 thing to say about that
<
>>577368121
rich people
Umm...
>>577363630
i am going to screen cap this, better than any piece of fiction that i have ever read, Op should publish some shit.
pls
Fuck all kinds of duck this is some weird shit.
>>577363630
GODISDEAD
nnnnope
>>577363630
English is my second language, this is the moment where I wish I couldn't read it, my brain is stained I cannot undo.
>>577363702
I puked a little
>>577367604
well... then. ok
How incredibly satisfying, most of her love-nubs were too small to get with my teeth this time, but fear not, for they are coming in strong. She took control this encounter, as I let her tie me down to the bedstocks. I was sweating with excitement in its purest form as she smothered me, her neck covering a good portion of my face. Once finished, a paste was left, a residual reminder of our special bond. Not unlike what one would find between his thighs after not showering for a week.
Screen capt
>>577363630
god damnit, i was about to masturbate. i cant now. you ruined it.
>>577363630
>>577363702
Im german and cant find anything on google translation. So i ask you guys: what did this faggot eat? What are those black things she did grown?
can somone call ambralamp 4 me
>i dying lemme rip in peice¿
>>577378824
Skin tags
>>577378493
same
i just threw up in my mouth
>>577363630
Skin tags that fit between a gap in teeth.
>>577378840
this I agree wid
>>577378824
Sie aß einen Esel Menge Gerümpel , diese schwarzen Dinge, die sie aufgewachsen sind Marisken , sorry für beschissene Grammatik war ich mit Google übersetzen
wtf man
>>577367604
And I thought they smelled bad on the outside.
>>577363630
I want to vomit
>>577363630
I just puked a little in my mouth
>>577378929
Thank you anon
>>577363630
>>577363702
That was neat, it would have been neater if this had actually happened and wasn't written by a pretentious twat.
another cumment phasing though
>>577379715
you motherfuck you beat me to it!!!!
>>577363630
>>577363702
No.
op types up his fantasies because he is on a dick sucking rampage
>>577367954
Chad, you are one dumb motherfucker.
>mfw this thread
>>577363630
This is disgusting. You are disgusting.
You fucking what m8?
>>577367954
im smelling something beginning to form.....
Pure gold! Been a long time since i saw a thread of this quality. Well done OP. Can't stop laughing.
>>577363702
Nigga u wot
hmmm... wat ?
>>577363630
>>577363630
>Slowly, she raised her chins,
This is where I lost.
>>577363630
OH MY GOD!!! IT's FUCKING JABA THE HUT!!! D:
>>577363630
>>577363702
new meme
till you reallize that you weren't supposed to be on this page.
>>577368121
white people
>>577363630
>>577363702
>mfw
you are insulting white people?
>black people
>are hot
>cause they are black
science frick yes fuck