>>571893928
shit crappens

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>>571893928

>>571893928
could've at least washed it down with that hose

>>571894323
Nah, It would have made a bigger mess.

But where was the shitters feet when this explosion occurred?!

>>571894970
judging by the trajectory of the shit splatters, i'd say right foot on the sink, left foot on the rail next to the hose.

>>571894970
I had diarrhea. My ass was facing towards the splash zone, I wore these blue footie socks so i just took them off after they were shit covered.

>>571895104

Look at you all CSI and shit.

But bro seriously what the fuck did you eat?

>>571895228
But this pic was already on the webs at least 2 years ago.

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>>571895104
it checks out

>>571895648
Nicely done

http://www.skateboard-city.com/messageboard/showthread.php?t=277747

OP is a liar.

>>571895648
top kek

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>>571895648
>>571893928

>>571893928
thats a hospital/dr office restroom. i doubt anyone cleaned it. i mean literally everyone would rather walk off the job. am i right?

>>571895648
>tfw by responding to this i will become part of an epic new meme for future you laugh you lose/best of 4chan threads

hella fucken epic

>>571893928
>>571895104
>>571895648
Thank you, i needed a laugh today.

>>571895648
hahahaha

>>571895648
fuck yeah

>>571896318
uhhhhh shaddup newfage-_-

TP rolls are backward

>>571895648
Post of the night

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>>571895648
NO FAGGOT

>>571896837
dat epicenter

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>>571896837

>>571893928
Shit thread
Shit pic

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>>571896837
he was facing the wall in this position

New Janitor Position Opens At Chucky Cheese

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>>571895648
Sorry, but there are several things wrong with your theory if OP was in that position:

1. The shit could not have been travelling at that high of a velocity to reach under the toilet with such force (indicated in red on the circle). It simply could not have had a such a large momentum.

2. If OP was really in that position, how do you explain the direction of the splashes on the back wall? It is not possible because, upon observation, you can see that the shit traveled at the greatest velocity on the right of the photo (indicated by red arrows, the longer the arrow, the greater the speed), when in that position it should have traveled the farthest to the bottom of the photo.

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>>571896837
Suspect stepped in shit getting off of the sink

>>571897815
What made you pick Chuck E. Cheese?

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>>571897976
/b/ fights the important battles.

>>571897976
finally, we're getting somewhere. do you work in the field?

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>>571897976
i guess this is the rigth one

>>571898221
Impossible angle, unless he slipped from the sink and shat his bowels harder, covering the east wall. But there's nearly no shit on the east wall.

Angle should be directed more to the west side if he's getting off from the sink.

Also my dad works at that fedex.

>>571898521
There is too much area the toilet is blocking, also OP couldn't have hit the apparent center of the blast.

I'm so fucking happy I asked!

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>>571893928
this is how it is

>>571897976
fucking dying over here

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>>571893928

>>571899098
That angle would make the farthest splash to the right of the picture, when the farthest one is clearly to the left.

>>571899098
I think you hit the nail on the head. Put his feet in the sink and aimed his ass at the toilet. But his ass was too fat and he only barely grazed the rim with his side spray, landing most of his dump on the floor.

>>571899098
i actually imagine he was sitting on the toilet facing the wall with his ass over the edge right above the epicenter.
but as unlikely as yours is, it actually seems more accurate.

>>571899215
kekmych firdsorry

>>571893928
That's either a fat obese brony laying that shit after tacos and sushi or someone has cholera

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>>571895648
ebic

>>571899445
i saw it happen. it was at tacobell

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>>571897976

You could probably calculate the exact trajectory by measuring the length of the shit vectors relative to the toilet's base.

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>>571893928
let me help you with that

>>571899098
Maybe one foot in sink and one foot on bar behind toilet??

>>571896242
Well I was a janitor, got paid minimum wage, and they made it a really big point that I could not accept tips. So some old lady took a giant shit right next to the toilet, a room with no ventilation by the way, and the manager came to me and said CLEAN THIS. I SAID NO WAY IM OUT.jpg and quit

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>>571895228
>I had diarrhea.

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i'm can't hold it too

>>571898864
maybe i forget to to put the arms in the the bars he was hodining in that position and can move everywhere in the area to get maximum damage

Should I email http://forensicsciencecentral.co.uk/contactus.shtml with this image? We need answers!

Fucking hell, I'm laughing at this entire thread more than I should. This is why I love you faggots.

>>571900183
Do it faggot.

>captcha: doit faggit

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>>571896318
underage newfag

>>571899806
>shitpuddle
Good god, stop, STOP

toasting

>>571897976
Puddled

Archiving this gold

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>>571899497
like so

>>571899098
We need dexter and his strings.. the splash zone obviously goes left.. so this is clearly wrong

There are guts in that shitsplosion

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>>571900183
This guy knows. Do it

>>571900530
maybe

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>>571900530
That isn't even a position to consider. The foot on railing/foot on sink was a better angle probability than that.

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>>571895648
oh fuck i can't stop laughing. i'm also pretty high so theres that too. ahaha

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hang on guys, i think i've cracked the case

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This mystery needs to be solved before this thread 404s we need answers

>>571896837
dude you think he didn't move around at all? think about when he first got up in that position. his asshole was opened when he put his legs up. then the shit rained down

Anyone care to consider Ockham's razor?

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The real question within OP's picture is the surprising excess of toilet paper rolls hanging by. Judging by the picture, there was no action to clean up this mess and whomever left it did not step in it. OP -- did you take the shit, and then take a pic of it after? How did you get out of these positions in the first place? Again, why are there TWO toilet paper rolls? TWO. OP -- this picture is an obvious fabrication. No bathroom has TWO toilet paper rolls.

>>571901070
Maybe I've never had a bad shit, but can it rocket out at that force? I feel like it would have just dripped down his back. How would he have made the escape?

>>571895104
I call this sky-dumping

>>571901094
But there's no shit on the sink

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>>571895648
I'm an expert on shit splatter and this is correct

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moments before the deed

>>571901408
there wouldn't be

>>571897976
A majority of shit is on the floor, so it's possible that you could get a splash effect from that angle and runoff from the toilet seat. What's puzzling to me is the shit splatter in the corner. Perhaps we have 2 shooters?

>>571900530
But wouldn't his ass have wiped off the shit that's on the toilet lid?

>>571901060
I cannot stop laughing.
What is wrong with me !?

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Here are the footprints, it just soaked into the areas after he moved.

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>>571893928

EUREKA

I've solved the conundrum.

THIS FUCKER USED CENTRIPETAL FORCE TO PROPEL HIS DIARRHEA AS HE ATTEMPTED TO SIT ON THE TOILET RESULTING IN THE NUCLEAR SHIT EXPLOSION BEFORE YOUR EYES

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Here are the obvious foot marks.. start here

>>571901141
How's a razor gonna clean this mess up?

>>571901751
No other footprints within a reasonable distance, shit would have been all over those shoes.

sent this to [email protected]

Hello!
An image was recently posted to the 4chan /b/ image board and we were collectively stumped as to how it could have come about. It depicts an abundance of fecal matter sprayed across the toilet, floor and walls of a bathroom. I've included our efforts at deciphering the image in the attached .zip archive (be warned - it is quite graphic). I understand if you choose not to open it or even respond at all, but I assure you the image poses quite a stimulating forensic challenge!

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this

>>571902017
<3

>>571901751
right looks like a handprint.
scat fetish?

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>>571895648
/thread

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>>571901997

>>571901805
You have splatter marks in front of your proposed foot marks, feet/legs would have taken those splatters.

>>571901070
topkek

ITT: kids who dont know this pic has been around for a long time

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I've pretended to be a lot of toilets in my day and I can say I've never wanted to be a toilet more than I want to be the one in this thread.

>>571901950
Are you telling us that someone intentionally stepped on shit just to get footprints on that area only

For what fucking purpose, bamboozle us?!

>>571902174
Feet shifted after initial explosion... this suggest a second perpetrating gush

>>571902017
It's an absolutely abstract kind of shit

>>571901997
Pics

>>571902246
Sauce

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>>571901751

I see, it makes sense now.

>>571902429
looks like a new type of fecal pokemon

>>571902246

... I've been searching for this photo for years.

I used to have it on an old pc but my harddrive crashed and I lost my /b/ folder dating back to 2006. Thank you anon

no one zoomed and enhanced the evidence yet? Ameatures

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>>571893928
>I couldn't hold it guys

what ?

the alien life form that had been growing inside your abdomen and then tore through your guts clawing its way out ?

Where are the exiting footprints?

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GUYS

GUYS

GUYS

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gentlemen. we must consider the possibility of a second shooter.

>>571902513
Seems like some asshole purposely shat on the floor. No way someone made it THAT close and couldn't hold it for one more second.

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>>571902654
Fuckin Illuminati

>>571902148
Where is this .gif from?

>>571902704
take your grassy knoll bullshit elsewhere faggot
>>>/pol/

>>571902648
>>571902648
This is where the problem lies...

i feel the only exception to it is if either a woman held and exploding baby ass. OR... the perpetrator was playing the classic game of "the floor is lava

>>571902773
please, we're trying to have a real discussion in here.

>>571901895
the things he going to need is water gloves a broom a mask soap, chlorine, throw the water in the afected area and get the broom to remove the shit throw soap and chlorine to clean the are area and mops to get everythin as good as new dont forget to ask a raise because you are no supposed to clean this barbaric mess

>>571902704
you liberal. absolutely no

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>>571902654
half life 3 confirmed

>>571893928
My theory is diarrhea filled balloon. Nobody shits at that velocity.

No lie, I work as a commercial cleaner in a building. This is about the same thing I saw at work today. Worst fucking day ever...

For the love of fuck, we have mobile video recording technology, why in the holy name of public shitmess is this crummy cell pic the only evidence we have?! Let this be a lesson to all future shitters, get video!

Besides all that, best post I've seen in a while.

>>571902301
I don't think those are foot prints but rather the start of the clean up before the unlucky bastard decided to snap a pic of just how massive this shit splatter was. There is a hose already hooked up and ready to go.

Perhaps this was Tyrone's bid for $15/hour.

>>571902912
My sides!

Archiving a second time

>>571902768
See how they got shit on the side of the bowl? I think the shitter ran in pants pulled down and started to swing over the porceline throne as he started to shit. Unfortunatley he wasn't completley over the shitter and started to shat as his moved laterally over the shitter. You can see some of the shit on the side of th bow. That's how he got it on the floor and in the toilet.

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>>571895648
>>571896837
>>571897256
>>571897976
>>571898521
>>571899098
>>571900530
>>571901070
>>571902513
Why does he have to be where the toilet is?
What if he faced awayfrom the toilet maybe squatting where the drain is

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>>571900290

>lel that dewlap hanging out from behind his mask

Stop arguing over stupid shit.

>>571903040
Have you never drank a bunch of liqour. I can attest that I could do this at least 3-4 times a week. The loss of exiting footprints stump me

>>571903047

I used to work at Wendy's and saw this in the men's room every day.

Incidentally, you really shouldn't order the chili.

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>>571903151
>stupid shit
bro this is csi shit city

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GOT THE FUCKER

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>>571903151
welcome to /b/ newfriend

>>571903058
Which could explain the loss of footprints... they could have been destroyed before the picture is taken. This is why we need to preserve the scene. Got damnit tyrell

>>571903324
>adoption center

>>571899860
good move, bro. i wholly support you. the part about expressly forbidding you to accept tips -- thats like asking you to screw them over.

>>571902219
Pretty sure everyone is aware cocklord. We are trying to figure out the position this guy was in when he let this nuke go.

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>>571902457
Sorry, I sent it from my shitty anon account.

>Копие в папка Изпратени - ИЗКЛЮЧЕНO!
translates to
>Copy in Sent folder - TURNED OFF!

I'm not sending it a second time for proof, but I did send it. I really hope we get an answer by tomorrow.

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>>571895648
Quite a theory there Watson

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>>571902425

>>571903423
This sounds reasonably logical

>>571902869
http://efukt.com/20760_Even_Women_Premature_Ejaculate.html

Enjoy.

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>>571893928
You accidentally the whole toilet

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>>571893928
best thread all year, boys.

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>>571903234
>The loss of exiting footprints stump me

>>571903475
RUSSIANS!! Well, that explains it!

Also, why has nobody drawn attention to the fact that THERE IS SOOOO MUCH!!!?!

>>571903827
Shit, good point!

some 13 year old is laughing his off to the pointof shitting his pants

>>571902219
it's not about who, it's about how.

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>>571903040

Improbable, you would need a contraption that would be able to funnel the shit into a balloo-

OP you fucking didn't

>>571903996
Change the age to 21 and you have described me.

>>571893928
somebody screencap this shit

>>571903040
I dont think anyone could shit that much shit into a balloon.
Your theory is probably right but its chocolate cake batter or brownie mix

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Blumpkin!

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csi tiem

>>571902571
I've been searching for a picture for years also. Its a picture of a jacked dude in a santa hat and beard jacking off while sitting on the toilet. there is a newspaper covering his junk, and when i saw it it said something like "merry christmas from rotten"
if ANYONE can help me find it, it will be 1million internets to you

>>571902773
This is not funny. We're trying to solve a mystery here, and you're just wasting our time. Grow up.

>>571904093
A pump as simple as an aquarium pump could do that, providing the viscosity isn't too great. A bit more of a pump would be needed for thicker ammo, perhaps a sump pump.

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>>571904093
called pastry bags

>>571901594
wasnatch, fuck yeah!

>>571904498
UV light reveals a massive amount of semen in the shit. We might be dealing with a faggot.

>>571904498
You've cracked the case! It wasn't poop, it was actually semen!

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>>571904498
A spooky ghost left ectoplasm.

>>571903086
This is the best theory thus far.

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>>571904803
>>571904839
So true.

>>571903086
It still doesn't explain the complete lack of footprints

>>571900091
Would

>>571904498
The hose is filled with semen, explains the sheer amount.

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>>571902654
you fucking can't prove fucking shit about it

>>571901805
there would have been a trail of shit at every step, then.

>>571904498
now this is science, i have anoter theory the guy pull his pants before to reach the toilet maybe for the urge of shit himself it happen to me at least two times but this is nothing compared to the urge to leave the area after.

>>571905372
The perpetrator carried his clothes

>>571904471
that would explain the massive force at which the shit was expelled

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>>571901751
WHOSE FOOTPRINTS ARE THESE

>>571903137
oh, like that hovering shit that women do, but he missed terribly?

>>571905378
>but this is nothing compared to the urge to leave the area after
haha

>>571905643
oh no snake! eh is going to find u!

>>571904093
Wait a fucking tick!

What if someone simply threw their colostomy bag at the toilet?

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>>571904786
i found this sexy as fuck

the lack of shitprints leading away from the toilet points towards the shitsailant having done an impressive parkour-like wall run in the corner of the bathroom, while dropping the payload in mid air before pushing off and exiting the bathroom without a trace.

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>>571904498
Looks like shit,
Just hit the fan

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what about this?

>>571906062
i think you just solved our mystery

>>571906062
highly plausible

Someone cap this shit mystery so I can sleep tonight. At least arhive it...

>>571906041
my sides

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or this?

>>571906062
This seems legit, explains the shit hitting the ground and toilet, and the lack of footprints.

>>571906062
Would likely have left a splatter-shadow immediately under the bowl from this position. The feces had to have come from a nearly vertical position over the epicenter

>>571906062
his/her feet couldn't have possible been on the floor at the time. the splatter pattern would alert us otherwise.

>>571901357
Newfag hasn't seen tub girl

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This thread... holy shit

>>571906062
see
>>571900530

>>571906584
Or Jackass 3

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>>571895648
omg my sides

I've worked in this field for 40 years and I can tell you unequivocally that OP's picture is the 2014 patriots offense.

>>571906364
I feel like although it would explain the exiting footsteps. It would be hard for the pudding around the toilet. Pressuring the floor is properly installed with a slight lean towards the drain.

> debunked

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you guys got it all fucking wrong

You guys are assuming that the shit occurred from a static position. It is plausible that the shit began above the apparent blast epicenter before the shitter moved over the toilet, thus accounting for the apparent blast epicenter off to the right of the toilet

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>>571906939
is that a beard

>>571907015
Does not explain footprints

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>>571904786

>>571906741
not the same
i think he was tall
he had his foots on the ground and ass in the air over the center of the toilet
but he misscalculated the angle

>>571906939
Alright, boys, pack it up. We're finished here!

>>571893928
It's not impossible. I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than two meters.

>>571907439
10/10

>>571907231
This is Definstely a girls bathroom. Unless you faggots squat like bitches do. Cause its my ass. Not that important... a solid cleaning. The plop my fat fucking ass right on the god damn toilet. No paper blocker

this is one of thebest threads ever
thank you

>>571907439
>YES

>>571907439
You stupid idiot, everyone knows Shrek has three testicles.

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>>571903324
That fucker knows how to party.

>>571907673
>implying that isn't the third testicle resting upon the ballbag

>>571907439
Toilet paper could be dis shoveled as they only have a weight baring of approximately 5 pounds.
> debunked

>>571907439

>FUCKING YES

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>>571906695
>holy shit

It came from the ceiling that's the only explination

>>571907439
this dude can fuckin draw

>>571895648
10/10

>>571901060
Glorious

>>571907610

Have fun with your chlamydia faggot

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>>571893928
I would bet good money the position was this.

Its what i would do.

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handicap bathroom, guy leaning off his rascal to shit

easy one and im a stoner

>>571907798
touche

>>571907945
I thought this as well. If the building had a T bar drop ceiling some one could come from the top, remove the ceiling tile, rest on the top of the wall, and shit downward.

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Woah, best thread in weeks

>>571908303
there would be tracks through the shit as he drove his rascal away

>>571907807
> dis shoveled

love these sorta fuckups that sound right, but you obviously never thought about what the word you're trying to say means and why this thing you said is dumb.

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>>571907015
true, there are 2 fairly distinct blast patterns/epicenters. the one on the right would be right about on the edge of the toilet

Boys, boys, boys, how are we even sure the feces are not planted? Sounds like we have a case.

>>571907610
you've obviously never seen a unisex handicapped bathroom

McDonalds toilets....not even once.

>>571908303
>>571908520
additionally, all public bathrooms since the 90's are essentially handicapped bathrooms. Fucking ADA.

>>571908560
while i still believe the shitter moved during the shit, not sure how it would account for the foot print

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I can't draw for shit on tablets but can someone with skills fix this pls. It's spidey. I gave up mid attempt

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Perhaps his feet were not on the floor at all

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>>571908520
faggot

>>571908901
Your late... read the thread nigger. Always trying to skate by in life

>>571895648
Omfg I'm,dyiny

>>571908885
You didn't give up enough. Give up some more.

>>571906939
i was right all along

>>571893928
I actually trashed a toilet like that. Drunk, vomiting and diarhea at the same time. If I could only apologize to the poor bastard who had to clean it up.

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he shit like this while wiggling and moving up and down

>>571906939
You win