File: sgt-slaughter.jpg (13 KB, 350x234) Image search: [Google]

13 KB, 350x234

You are a faggot.

So says Sargent Slaughter.

>>570634000
I fell in love with my best friend.

>>570634000
I've licked my sisters pussy. She was 12 I was 15. Woop

>>570634530
Was fun?

>>570634518
So did I.

Then she loved me back.

Now we're together and in love.

There's hope for everyone

Once pretended to cheat on someone so they'd hate me and find someone worth their time.

I lost my virginity to my teacher. I can elaborately if you guys want

>>570635351
gay as fuck, I fell in love with best friend while she fucked hella other guys and took me 3 months to realize I was never gonna get with her

>>570634000
I touched my peepee once and it got big.

I shouldn't say this, but here goes. I shot a homeless man as an initiation into the gang.

>>570635474
Please do

Well I started this so I might as well jump on and tell something.

>be me
>14-15 or something
>always wanted to try mountain dew
>try mountain dew
>tastes like shit holy fuck
>decide I'll offer it to my older brother (he was about 17 i think)
>he's a cod fag
>he's a fag
>on my way to his room i go to the bath room
>take a pee
>not bad tbh
>decide to pee in the bottle
>same color kinda
>give to him
>he never knows

not much pee went in, but you get my point

>>570635474
moar

When I was 13 I had a risky habit of sneaking into my younger sisters room after they were asleep when they had friends over, rubbing my dick against their friends face and lips, putting their fingers around it, and feeling up their tits (or lack thereof).

I'm 7 years married but I never really loved her from the start. I don't want to divorce because it's been too long now and she's actually pretty well-off.
>She proposed to me too

I have sex with furries.

>>570634518
same, havent seen her in a while and suddenly yesterday had a dream where she turned out to be a trap, good times

Was getting head once and after I nutted, got up to find I'd left a big skid mark on the white sheets of my bed. Pretty sure she never found out, as she didn't puke or offer to lick it.

>>570634000
Ok. OP is a faggot. Shh don't tell

>>570634000
I'm starting to believe in afterlife, because eternal void seems too boring for my taste.

File: 1411536121276.jpg (161 KB, 1024x768) Image search: [Google]

161 KB, 1024x768

I am constantly sticking my figure in my butt/butt hole and smelling it. As well as my gooch and penis area.

I have cheated on my girlfriend so many times that i don't feel guilty anymore

File: you mad.jpg (47 KB, 625x461) Image search: [Google]

47 KB, 625x461

>>570636016
That wasn't a secret.

>>570634000
I once had sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreaction

>If someone gave me the option, I would leave everything behind and go north somewhere without telling anyone

I know it's selfish

I fucked your mom twice
ONCE

Once it came cum out of my ass when i farted. No, never been buttfucked or anything. hadn't masterbaited in over a month.

File: 74162_600.png (278 KB, 600x337) Image search: [Google]

278 KB, 600x337

>>570634000
Sorry, oficer, but since have I dismembered a little black homo kid in a chapel I never tell anyone my secrets.

>>570636134
you sick fuck.

File: 1411672394069.jpg (175 KB, 738x630) Image search: [Google]

175 KB, 738x630

I want to fuck 13-16 year olds

>>570636134
you get the fuck out of here.

I met a stranger a few days ago and sucked his dick

Apart from that I'm pretty much straight

>>570636382
Everyone wants that faggot

File: untitled.png (11 KB, 205x246) Image search: [Google]

11 KB, 205x246

> Beta fag
> Finally met up with someone to get some tail.
> met her off the craigslist
> Take her out for a bite to see if Im even into it.
> Girl looks fuckin trashy, You know that fake pink fur shit and leopard print?
> "well shit this is gonna be easy"
> finish eating, go to her friends house.
> start smoking crazy amounts of weed with her & her friends
> Notice she treats her friends like shit. Generally just being a fucked up cunt
> Dont really care as I'm stoned and gonna get some pussy
> eventually leave and start to head to her place
>This is where I should have walked away, this is where to first warning signal was
>She lives in a fucking trailer park.
>"eh what ev its been like a year 1/2 i need this"
>Go to her shitty ass trailer
> listen to her bitch about her shitty redneck brother
> "Fuck this bitch can talk"
> "better shut her up"
> Shove my tongue into her mouth
> she is instantly all about it
> she say "Normally I dont do this.." pulls me straight to her bedroom
> FUCK YES FINALLY SOME POON
> I strip her, but something is off
> I figure out what it is, Her vagina fucking reeks
> "eh what ev it was a hot day, she is kinda fat, probably just bad BO"
> Rail her hard all night
> Leave in the morning before she wakes up, cause fuck I cant sleep in other peoples beds, and she wanted to listen to fucking Rihanna all night long

> I now have Herpes
> NEVER FUCK SOMEONE WHO LIVES IN A TRAILER PARK

>>570634530
Wincest

>>570635474
>I can elaborately

I put 2 ounces of Uranium Nitrate, stolen from a high school, on the sheets of my younger brothers bed where he slept in it for many months before washing them.
Now, 20 years later, he is having internal organ failure and has been having severe internal pains for the last 10 years.
I'm going to be the reason he dies before he turns 40 and the whole last half of his life will have been spent in extreme agony because I was jealous our mother bought him slightly more things than she bought me.

>>570634000
I kept a kid in a closet to harvest chromosomes in order to bake a cake

File: 1372136431805.jpg (59 KB, 450x450) Image search: [Google]

59 KB, 450x450

>>570636134

File: 010_I7i9cv4.jpg (304 KB, 981x815) Image search: [Google]

304 KB, 981x815

I often think about killing myself, but not in a depressing edgy way, I just feel like I'm done here, bored and really curious about life after death.
The though of staying here until i'm an old man is exhausting

File: 1487678_10152354628022444_2128896024975908026_o.jpg (142 KB, 823x960) Image search: [Google]

142 KB, 823x960

i feel like i should have been born a woman.
But i was born a man so i try my best to be a man.

>>570636632
Jake? You asshole! I'm going to fucking kill you!

>>570635821
I find it slightly disturbing that tthe woman proposed, but hey free poon and money

>>570636382
13 16-year olds? that's oddly specific. all at once?

>>570634000
I fucked a 13 year old when I was 19

...I fap to Mass Effect and Halo porn...

File: 1402692056068.jpg (5 KB, 109x125) Image search: [Google]

5 KB, 109x125

>>570635590
>hella
kill yourself.

>>570635821
Post face

I dumped my girlfriend when she had a cunt cancer scare, because I thought it was my fault.

>>570635762
thats fo real?

im a 20yo virgin
i dont even understand why, i pick up girls in clubs, i know a lot of girls and can talk to them pretty easily and have an average sized dick
i just don't go all the way

>>570636874
preferably 16 13-year olds

>>570636573
Lol your life.

For the past week or so I've been sticking objects if various shapes and sizes in my pooper while fapping to see what all the fuss is about. It doesn't really hurt but doesn't feel particularly good either. I haven't told my wife.

I'm conflicted by a turn on of mine. I want to have a mmf threesome with my gf, but I would probably choke out the other dude if he even touched my gf, which is the whole fucking point

>>570634518
fell in love with my best guy freind.... havent confessed yet....

>>570634000
got depression and anxiety oh and I'm kinda maybe gay

>>570636382
that's not weird everybody wants that

I lied about my ex boyfriend raping me and now he's in jail.

>>570636821
No, this is not Jake.
Jake loves you and would never do that to you, no matter what you and he have been through, you're still brothers and you should respect him because he still cares about you.

File: 1410240947654.gif (2 MB, 350x300) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 350x300

>>570637081
This

>>570635821
MODS

>>570636756
Same here

File: 1411256674669.jpg (8 KB, 205x251) Image search: [Google]

8 KB, 205x251

>>570635762
jesus fucking christ, how can you live with yourself?? i understand he's homeless but it's still a fucking person.

I have gynaecomastia

>>570636963
dumb nigger isn't from norcal.

captcha: get fucked

>>570635793
Thats pedestrian as shit

I killed a man and got away with it.

When i fuck my wife i think of jlaw nudes...

>>570636632
Man, if this is true...oh fuck it, no school should have radioactive materials available like that.

>>570634000
My personal secret:

I can blow myself.

But its all weird and twisted. To do it, I have to get into a real crazy position (with my legs over my head). I get turned on thinking about it, and it feels good getting blown.

But at the moment I start realizing I am coming I suddenly want to stop before it gets in my mouth, by then its too late to get out of the position quick enough. And so I regretfully take the load in my mouth. And then I get down out of the position, and get into the bathroom to spit it out. And I feel all humiliated that I was promised (by myself) that if I blew this dick (my dick), it wouldnt come in my mouth. But I got lied to and used (by myself).

Weeks later when I start thinking about doing it again, its sort of a weird turn on that the person who blew me (which was me) doesn't want me to come in his mouth, but Im going to anyway.

Kind of all twisted I guess. I sort of rape my own face and feel abused that I did it.

I posted this to /b before, sorry for quoting myself.

>>570636382
we all do mate, we all do

>>570635780
>>570635805

I'll semi greentext. This was pretty recent

>be 16 turning 17
>have insane fucking crush on teacher
>he was a fucking nerd, muscle-fat, must've been /fit/
>Brown hair, green eyes, slightly balding, but he wasn't ugly
>coaches soccer
I'm kinda chubby, but I'm not fat
>try out for soccer
>Get on
>First practice
>He drives most of the girls home
>I'm the last one
>Awkward conversation
>End up talking about relationships
>he's not been in any good relationships
>jokingly serious talking about how he could go out with a lonely nerdy kid
>He laughs nervously and seems repulsed
>Whatever
>Wear a thong and my old volleyball spandex next practice
>U mirin brah? Mire my aesthetics.
>Notice him mirin
>Wink jokingly
>He's fuckin repulsed again.
>Cool nigga
>Over the year we develop a relationship
>I offer my number multiple times
>He says no AND is repulsed
>Yet he's still dense enough that he doesn't know I like him
>School year ends, did not fuck my teacher

Part 2 soon, part 1 is showing all the shit I had to go through

I'm currently in hospital, awaiting an operation to have my sister's finger removed from inside my anus.
It's not attached to my sister.
That's the last time I drop acid

>>570634000
When I fap, I think about videos for a site that never existed

I spend a lot of time on this retarded site

I fucked my best friend's GF... No regrets. Still happening every now and then.

>>570637482
That's funny...when I fuck your wife, I think of jlaw's nudes too

>>570634000
i secretly wish i was given powers to bring forth the apocalypse. like extreme hemisphere chilling ice powers or something to end our society. i hate our modern society, and everything about it makes me sad that i couldn't have been born in an era where i had to earn my survival. so i want to create that for others as a gift of sorts.

never had a gf and never been kissed

In November, I'll be able to legally buy a gun after a 5 yr restriction (I'm 23 now).

>>570637283
Bait.

>>570637247
Go back to tumblr with that shit.

File: 1349294145817.jpg (86 KB, 480x480) Image search: [Google]

86 KB, 480x480

>>570635762

>>570635351
I've actually debated doing this, it's a damn clever way to not fully hurt someone. And they end up breaking it off with you if they're smart.

>>570634518
shit... happens to me all the time... good luck /b/rother...

i pooped myself a little at age 18 while hanging with people, didnt notice for a half hour but everyone else did.

in high school (ages 12-15 for us) i went to a public school that weirdly enough(for my country at least, probably not for usa) had lockers

i figured out that my keys would also work on other student's padlocks - some smaller ones i could unlock by inserting the like half the key in etc

my dad used to drive me to school on his way to work, and because that was a little earlier i was always at school like 15 minutes before any other kids showed up

school has open of course, and the teachers at their offices

so i wondered around the lockers, trying to find padlocks to unlock as I was alone

one day i opened a locker and inside it had some girl's pants. she probably changed at school for the gym class.

For weeks or months maybe i used to open that locker every day to smell at these pants

hmmm....i have lied to literally everyone i know about who I am and what I do. No one even knows my real name

>>570637680
Anyone surprised? Anyone?.... No one?

>>570635762
IP registered.
sincerely FBI

>>570637543
very kek

>>570637680
how many years are you?

File: 1410538647645.jpg (55 KB, 450x600) Image search: [Google]

55 KB, 450x600

>>570637354
Join the party. The shitest thing is i know people that have a little. But I've got straight up titties since i was 5. Im 19 now. Also I'm a male not a trap.

im in love with my best friends girlfriend

I have genital warts. The last person who knew was my first wife, whom I divorced in 2002.

I now have a second ex-wife. I've banged a ton of women since my first divorce. And yet I can count on one hand how many times since then that I've used a condom.

>>570636756
and here

I kill cats. A lot.

Did not fap to any fappening pics.

>>570636821
>inb4

There's a girl in my college class who's 18 but she looks about 13, I would fuck the shit out of her and her tiny virginal frame jesus fuck i have a boner now

>>570637757

It hurts, but it was the easiest way to end things without hurting her.

>>570636982
You got cancer fag?

>>570637594
kek

>>570638025
your sorta shitty. But genital warts is so common it ALMOST doesnt matter. More then half the chicks youve slept with probably already had it.

>>570637972
I have puffy nip nips but no titties. I want surgery.

I have 1M Youtube subscribers and nobody in my life knows it.

I still love you.
Please don't to go to Florida.

I wish I was a qt girl, so people would like being around me.

>>570637076
Maybe you're retarded?

>>570634000

i take my gfs used tampons out of the trash to suck on while masturbating

>>570637543
pics or it doesn't happen.

>>570636068

>Ceasing to exist = boring

>Never, ever, ever, ever ceasing to experience and exist even after you've done every conceivable thing and had every possible permutation of conversation and played every possible game of chess a trillion trillion times each = not boring

I'm all for making it so that death is an entirely conscious choice, but telling me I can never ever cease to be sounds like the worst possible hell.

>>570637647
isnt it killing you?

File: 1399501171346_1.jpg (10 KB, 195x200) Image search: [Google]

10 KB, 195x200

I recently started cutting again (was an edgy fag in high school) and I now remember why I did. My thighs being on fire while wearing jeans is really addictive, jesus why I am bound to a life of eternal edgeyness

Got raped by my fat cousing when i was very young. didnt know it was sex, thought it was a game.
played the game with both my sisters and got caught.
now i like to fap to rape and incest

>>570638104
I wish to kill one of my two cats but the rest of the family likes it so I can't, any tips how to pull this off secretly?

>>570636759
gross wooks

would bang in the field tho

File: image.jpg (82 KB, 640x960) Image search: [Google]

82 KB, 640x960

I fucked a 14 year old Chinese virgin. Do u fags know what tight means?

I accidentally pushed a glass of chocolate milk over once. I never told anyone for fear I might be exiled

File: 1301509296591.jpg (5 KB, 225x224) Image search: [Google]

5 KB, 225x224

>>570637834
>i used to open that locker every day to smell at these pants
>smell at these pants
>smell at
>these pants

File: wiener.jpg (17 KB, 280x361) Image search: [Google]

17 KB, 280x361

>>570634000
>Be 9 to 14
>Have neighbour
>comes to sleepover frequently
>have intense fap sessions on porn together
>he asks to suck tip
>suck tip
>get tip sucked
>Get sucked of frequently untill 14
>Get GF
>suddenly not gay anymore

>>570636134
2 edgy 4 me

>>570637509
The container was a very old bottle, about 6 ounces, I broke into the school, broke into the chemistry lab, broke into their storage closet, broke into a cabinet, broke into a shelf that was locked in it, and had to take out a metal box that I broke into again just to get to the stuff.
There were lots of other samples of radioactive material and some Geiger counters and lots of other stuff I took. I had my own lab room at home where no one bothered me and I'd done all the experiments in the science kits I'd bought from the toy stores, so when I was at the school in the summer and I decided to break in, the most valuable stuff that came to mind was the science stuff.
I had no idea I'd find such a wide selection of radioactive materials, but most of the samples were less than 1 ounce, but when I saw the word Uranium on the bottle I was both scared and exited but I knew I had to have it.

Using it on my little brother was just a way to get back at him without making it seem obvious so our mother didn't hate me any more than she already did.

>>570637482
Same here buddy. When I fuck your wife that's all could think of

>>570637842
>>570637967
yh im not surprised but just disappointed

Im 25 dude

I like play with my own shit, I masturbate while I push it around with my nose, rub it into my face, come, then regret EVERYTHING, wash off tell myself that was fucking disgusting and I wont do it again.

But I always do.

i cheated on my bf with a gigantic dicked nigger, and loved every second (even let him cum in me)

its been almost 2 years since, no STDs or pregnancy, still with bf, still love bf.

but if my bf would let me, i would only fuck that giant nigger dick for the rest of my life

I molested my cousin when I was 12 and she was 8.

>>570636080
Holy fuck are you me?

The aroma is just... Just so satisfying.

>>570638504
i know it's pathetic, but i'm not sure why you focus on the pants part

>>570638182

Not so far, and neither did she, it turned out. Bled a lot when I fucked her though.

>>570637667
Look at the edge on this faggot.

File: 1396381783393.jpg (7 KB, 273x184) Image search: [Google]

7 KB, 273x184

>>570634000
im a mediam and see visons of ghosts from time to time.

>>570637690
I hope you blow your dick off

pussybitch

>this year
>not as chubby, still bretty chubby but in the right places
>really up my sex appeal only in front of him tho
>since I'm not a junior, he doesn't teach me as much and he probably thinks I'm a turbo slut
>tone it down to look more adult
>whatever nigga, I'm gonna kiss you.
>homecoming game
>dance afterward, so I just wore my dress
>our school vs what seemed like the NFL
>snapchatting this guy I liked to forget about my teacher
>LOOK WHO IT IS, MY TEACHER. GREAT
>he sits right next to me
>sees me snapchatting
>records my name
>later that night at the dance
>snaps me 'hey'
>YOU BITCH
>I FORGOT ABOUT YOU
>FUCK YOURSELF
'Ohey'
>snap each other about life
>hopes and dreams
>gay shit

Here it comes next part, how our sordid love affair starts

I need to shit real bad.

File: 1411570008044.gif (450 KB, 500x500) Image search: [Google]

450 KB, 500x500

>>570638249
post link m8

File: SW.jpg (81 KB, 800x600) Image search: [Google]

81 KB, 800x600

>>570634000
Four of my ex girlfriends went into pornography after we broke up. The first one was a stripper to begin with so it wasn't a stretch but the others it was kind of random. One does those fucking machines videos, one does soft core lesbian porn, and the other two do BDSM stuff.

I once went to a gay sauna, knelt down in the steam room and sucked three dicks

>>570634530
Details? Was she asleep? Does she know? If so, how does she feel about it? You still doing it? Taken it further?

Also, current pic of sister. Her cunt too if you have it.

>>570638807

so link to some vids nigga

>>570637650
Topfif, does she stick her dick in ur ass too?

File: 1409945888838.jpg (51 KB, 493x356) Image search: [Google]

51 KB, 493x356

>>570638445
hahaha, 0313 checking in

File: 1378222810137.jpg (49 KB, 640x480) Image search: [Google]

49 KB, 640x480

>be 16
>urge to kill
>parents divorce
>dad goes crazy
>he buys two cute labradors and a cat
>loves the shit out of them
>talks to them all the time to cope
>talks to them more than me
>he is obsessed
>they are completely untrained, he loves them so much he lets them get away with anything
>clears out my mums old room and uses it as pet room
>pets have bigger bedroom than me
>annoyed as fuck
>wait till all gone to sleep
>dogs are sleeping with dad
>cat is in pet room
>put cat inside plastic bag
>beat cat to death with hammer inside bag
>INSANE THRILL RUSH
>go downstairs
>lure dogs out with toy
>lock one dog in pet room
>take other out to park
>stab it in throat, watching it bleed
>feel so powerful
>go back home, lead other dog out and do same
>leave pulpy cat in dog shit bin
>next day dad has totall breakdown, completely in tears
>then doesn't speak for two days
>attempts suicide
>I go to live with mum
>visit him three months later
>three foot beard, no showers, 7 dogs, at least 10 cats, some strays just come in through window
>kill all of them
>dad kills self

whats ya channel name m8?

>>570634000
I killed a man and his daughter

Sometimes when I have yogurt cups with the fruit in the bottom, I eat them without stirring them.

>>570634000

I convinced my parents that I'm in University and need money every few months for courses and stuff. They live a few states away and don't understand how shit works, been giving me 20K every year, for the last three years.

I have a friend who was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. Been sleeping with his girlfriend (of about four years) for the last month. She comes over after work (which is usually pretty late) we have sex, hang out for a bit, she goes home to him. Bareback, tons of oral, cum inside her...pretty fun.

Had sex with an ex-girlfriend a while back. She got married in June, her and her husband moved away. She came back last month to visit friends. She confessed she still had feelings for me, I went along with it, some pretty awesome sex happened, she went home all full of regret and cum.

I used to work this super shitty retail job. One of the idiots who had access to the safe left it open and I stole all the money that was in there. It wasn't much, not even $250. There was a guy I really hated working there, so I went to the district manager (who had an office at that branch) and told him I saw that guy fucking with it. He was let go the next morning. Turns out they were looking for an excuse to fire him anyway. I quit that job about a week later, that place was nonsense.

Stole $20 from a friend a while back. He actually owed me $30, so there's that.

Faked being suicidal to convince an ex-girlfriend to get an abortion. Dumped her two months later, got a vasectomy. That was years ago. She's married now, just had a daughter a few weeks ago, so that's good.

Life can fun once you accept who and what you are. I'm a villain, even in my own story. Once I came to terms with that, life became a whole hell of a lot more fun.

I'm bored of minecraft

I just turned 24 and was a virgin up until recently.

I dated girls since high school and had done everything else with them but just wasn't ready for sex.

Now I'm terrified that I wasted the best time of my life to have sex.
Am I still young enough to make it up?
Did I really miss that much?

>>570638654
Go back to reddit faget

When i was like 5 years old, me and my friend sucks our penis each other hidden in a corner outside his house.
One day, he tells to his family. Since then they look at me with different eyes.

I'm still a straight guy, i dont like boys. But this part of my life was so funny

>>570638654
holy fuck, I do this too....

>>570637835
Why? What to you call yourself? What do you say you do?

>>570636874
Hahaha well played sir

got a few secrets here
first one:
when i was 14 I jerked off and jizzed in the inside of the bra of the doughter of my mother's friend that was staying by us for some weeks (she was something like 17 or so)
Didn't get caught

File: gag.gif (281 KB, 245x130) Image search: [Google]

281 KB, 245x130

>>570638590
absolutely disgusting

>>570637350
On the street nobody is a "person". We all targets. If I didn't pull the trigger on him they would have pulled it on me.

>>570638552
Does it kills you inside knowing what you did? I couldn't care less bout other people, but man, the pain for doing this to my little brother would be near unbearable for me.

> cousin was 14 me 17
> hung out with her a lot because same interests
> I'd sleep on the floor of her room and she'd sleep in her bed when I would stay over
> got horny one night and slid my hand up under the cover while she was sleeping
> moving as slow as I can because I'm scared shitless, but can't stop myself
> feel boobs through her shirt, no bra
> penis harder than ever and nearly ripping a hole in my pants
> pull shirt from under her (it was all bunched up under her and tight to her body in front)
> carefully listening for her breathing to change. it didn't
> move my hand up the front of her shirt about an inch a minute, with a pounding heart and throbbing boner
> finally get to those lovely, big sweater puppies
> better than I could have ever imagined. Firm, supple c cups with small nipples that harden to my incredibly light touch
> she breathes differently and I, as lightly as I can with speed, remove my hand from her shirt and lie back down
> Wait a bit and beat off in the bathroom

I have done this several times; each time pushing the limit until the day I got confronted by her.

>She gets drunk on a bottle of hard liquor
>Passes out in her bed
>I do my usual routine, slightly more reckless than usual due to thinking she's out cold
>Beating off while molesting my cousin
> Holding back cum for finale, edging for the right moment
> slide off-hand down front of pants and touch her outer lips. They're tightly together and not like any others I've felt since then; almost hard in a "I can snap your dick off with pleasure" kind of way
> her eyes pop open "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

>>570638237
I want it so fucking badly can't even wear a fucking T-shirt without a compression top.

>>570638249
How many eggs do you go through in a week?

I fucked this first nations chick years back in the produce cooler of this restaurant we worked at. We used all kinds of vegetables and shit on each other and put them back when we were done. We still used the vegetables in the restaurant. I found out like 5 years later she had HIV. Dont know if she had it back then or not.

Duhhhhh,

everyone has herpes man!

>>570639298

We had a talk. She knew I was a virgin and asked why I did it (curiosity, or love) and I said what I thought she wanted to hear. Apparently not the right answer. She told me never to tell anyone and to never do it again, so I didn't. I feel like if I had said curiousity it might have gone better for me, so more's the pity, but whatever. At least I got the memories. We grew apart after that, naturally and neither one of us has ever talked about it since. Thing is, when I started all this, she got touchy and flirty when it was just us, so I think she knew for a while, enjoyed it but didn't want me to have the wrong idea and fall in love with her.

Everybody thinks my gf and i are the perfect couple. But really she is getting on my nerves. But i cant leave her because i care for her and am a fag

>>570638461
Pics?

File: tumblr_lb8d1mQEax1qe91wdo1_500[1].gif (295 KB, 500x379) Image search: [Google]

295 KB, 500x379

>>570634518
I have as well. Realized it when she spent a week at my place. The first morning she was gone I can upstairs and she wasn't there playing the guitar and it stung a bit too much in my chest. All I said was "Shit!"

But she is going through a phase.
She will be gone all semester, road tripping with some French fling.
I feel like she is hinting that I have a shot, but I don't feel good enough about myself right now to do so and also feel like this is horrible timing for the both of us.
Yet, all I want to do is tell her and kiss her and make her promise to come back to me so we can figure this out. I'm scared that too much will change in those 5 months.

I've decided to get my shit together for her. I've stopped drinking, joined a gym and will quit smoking. I plan to be my best when she comes back. If she comes back.
And even then I don't even know if she will want to or if it would work out. This could either be a horrible idea or she could be the best thing that ever happened to me.
Or if I am imagining her side entirely and I fuck up the best friendship I've ever had.

fml, /b/
This is bullshit.

>>570639048
I bet you my year's salary you will grow up to be a fucking joke.

Im a legit sociopath and im using all of my "friends" for personal gain

>>570637543
This!

>>570636573
All the signs were there, why didn't you stop the rape train?

File: 1409193493601.jpg (163 KB, 510x831) Image search: [Google]

163 KB, 510x831

i started smoking again after quitting for 3 years.
MFW my life is falling apart

>>570638748
moar
>inb4 dino sare

File: c71.jpg (14 KB, 200x301) Image search: [Google]

14 KB, 200x301

>>570638956
edgy.... nice try but it wasn't shocking or funny you sir are confirmed faggot

>>570636080
This. Constantly scratching my anus and smelling it. Ill leave the smell on my finger too and smell it throughout the day. Its almost relaxing.

>>570639581
your'e a faggot

>>570638441
You don't. Instead, kill yourself, you subhuman waste of carbon.

>>570635590
me too man

>>570638372
Kek

>>570639334
nope

I crossdress and have a regular lover. I'm married. Nobody knows.

>>570639581
That doesn't make you a sociopath. That just makes you an asshole.

File: 1403095806598.jpg (142 KB, 1440x810) Image search: [Google]

142 KB, 1440x810

>>570637372
Im from chicago and yet i still hear a bunch of subhuman race traitor white trash hear that shit. Just shut up you degenerate faggot.

>>570639120
What are you talking about, you have all fucking life to have sex.

>>570638129
i got the same shit with a girl whos 17 but legit looks young as fuck, yet still fully developed, hot as fuck

>>570639858
what is your channel name m8

>>570637543
I can't stop laughing!
Feels good, it's been ages, there's so much shit on /b/

>>570637354
I did too and got surgery. Hang in there buddy.

>>570634000
I regularly fuck my cousin
I'm married and have kids

>>570638420

Meh... I enjoy every time we're banging.

>have uncontrolable sick thoughts
>had tons of chances to fuck chicks and bailed out all of them cause phimosis and scared of lasting less than a minute
>was 1 inch away of jerking of to my brothers gf while she was asleep
>did the double dutch rudder with a m8 and don't regret it

man muh secrets are shit

>>570638590
hornyness makes you do weird shit then after you blow you regret it. I know that feel.

>>570637543
Mortenson.

>>570639267
yea the funny thing is that im not just being edgy for internets, ive been doing that shit since I was like 12, don't ask me why I get off to it, I just do. I haven't done it in like a year now though, the last time I did it I was way too grossed out.

File: 7292.jpg (75 KB, 331x506) Image search: [Google]

75 KB, 331x506

>>570636134

>>570639120
You have enough time faggot. Quit worrying and jerk off in anger why don't you.

You already wasted all that time so forget about it. If you want the time back then you're in denial.

Get your bitchass in shape and fuck all the sluts till you get an STD so you can die by AIDs

>>570637647
How did this come to happen?

>>570639747
I don't have anything against cats but I do hate that cat. I wish you could see this one, if it was a human it would be the mephistopheles incarnate himself.

>>570637543
kek'd hard

File: 2410070-6235193204-rage..png (16 KB, 291x300) Image search: [Google]

16 KB, 291x300

>>570636134

I had sex with my cousin when I was 13 and she was 10

>>570637647
lmao, he might be your bestfriend. but you aint his :)

edgy fuck

okay b/
I can suck myself and have swallowed my sperm. Since then, I don't see what's gross about it. It tastes fine. I never told anyone.

>>570639048
Austatic personality/11

I got an adult circumcision at age 26.

I am in love with a girl that is much too good for me, so i have to eliminate the competition to make it easier for myself...

One of the guys was accused of being a faggot due to some dubious photographs that appeared at his facebook wall one day.

Another one accidentally fell and broke his arm while playing soccer, i used the time he was away to talk shit about him and expose his nigger way of life.

The last one "stole my shit", got beat by a bunch of guys and had to move.

Her best girl-friend was held back in school because her recovery task "disappeared" from the archives.

I still didn't bone that fucking girl...

I fucked a coworker on my 1 year wedding anniversary before I went home. I was also kicked out of the Marines 2 years into my 4 year contract for attacking a female 2nd LT. Never told anyone and just moved around for another 2 years before I went back. Didn't want them to look at me with shame.

I've posted a lot of nude pictures of my loving girlfriend on here, some show her face, and sometimes I'll them get reposted. Every time that happens I fap like a mad man.

I've also cheated on her more times than I can count. I'm out of control...

I shot the sheriff

>>570640654

For premature ejaculation?

When I was 13 I watched a girl about the same age drown in a public pool. When she started gasping underwater I couldn't take my eyes off of her, and when she went limp I stuck my hand in her lower bathing piece for a feeler and gave a her a quick kiss, which was weird because she was foaming a little from the nose and mouth. I pretended like I just noticed she was in trouble and waved for the lifeguard.

I hate my selfish, shitty ex-girlfriend so much, that if there was a SHTF or apocalypse scenario, and no rule of law, I would definitely kill her with extreme prejudice.

>>570636275
Black kid was muslim sooo....
No prob!

>>570638985
im that man

>>570634000
I tried to kill myself by overdosing on oxy
took 12 and the girl I liked tried to wake me up and when I wouldn't wake up she started to cry but it was ok because I woke up a couple hours later

I have HPV.

What ever, i am not obliged by law to tell people about it.

I have a shower video of my friend back when we were in highschool that I said I deleted. She was only 16 at the time so I cant post it.

>>570639234
second one:
when i was 15 i used to download cp with my dad's computer using winmx and fapping to it and then deleted every clue from the pc
did it for at least one year

>>570640907
No but you can email it to me.

>>570636632
>I'm going to be the reason he dies before he turns 40 and the whole last half of his life will have been spent in extreme agony

Wow what the fuck?

This would be enough for me to kill myself from the guilt

I fantasize about my uncle raping me. He used to touch me and shit when I was young, but never penetration. I never told a soul. He passed away a couple years ago, and now I get so wet imagining him holding younger me down, making me take his cock, ignoring my tears...

File: 1403534110398.gif (2 MB, 300x196) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 300x196

>>570639581
you are a legit faggot, and all your friends probably make fun of you when you're not around.

File: 1362850981227.gif (2 MB, 426x319) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 426x319

>one day I snap my coach face up, but I was wearing just a bra and panties and I was standing in front of a mirror
>rush to delete
>sent
>opened
>FUCK
>coach responds 'stop trying to test me. I'm already hard.' With a pic down to his bulge
> I send a shot of my ass
>he sends a shot of his boner through his boxers
>I send my bra
>He exposes his pubes a bit
>I send my bare boobs
>he sends his full dick
>I send him a pic of my pussy
>he facetimes me and he faps on camera as I fingered myself
>texts me, very first text, after a fucking year 'I want to cum so hard in you.'
>Sext the entire night with phrases such as
> 'I want to eat your pussy and drown in it.'
> 'I can't wait to finger your velvet clit.'
> 'I bet your nipples have been waiting to be nibbled and licked like they deserve.'
>Don't stop sexting until 3 AM
>Fingered myself all night, I could swim in my bedsheets and my fingers were pruned.
>Come to school the next day as if nothing happened.
>Say hi to coach and maintain normal conversation
>Fingers still pruned
> 'Looks like someone's been swimming a little too long' He says
> his face when

>>570640660
It's probably because you're a fat piece of socially retarded shit

>>570634000
I liked a drunk girls butthole while she was sleeping.

>>570639986
haha yeah, that was hilarious!

>>570640907
you can post it and pretend you're from england.

I put drugs in the lockers of my coworkers that I don't like and then tell the boss so they can get fired. So far three people have gotten fired for ecstasy and marijuana.

>>570634000
I don't dislike niggers.

>>570640340
I always wanted do fuck her, even before she ended up with my best friend.

>>570640881
Nope, but it's kinda hard to not notice lol.

>>570640791
No, cause all women think uncircumcised dicks are gross. At least that has been my experience. Never dropped my drawers once before the circumcision and not had the girl say something shitty or make a face or something. Spent the $2K and had it done. Best decision of my life. And the orgasms, as least for me, are better. The whole foreskin is where the sensitivity thing is bullshit. It's all in the coronal ridge.

>>570641258
Well, i am socially retarded, but i'm not fat, thats always a plus.

>>570639614

> wanted pussy bad
> Largest regret
> sex wasnt even that good
> now everytime I start hitting it off witha girl, I have this internal conflict on when/if i should tell them
> Have a supreme aversion to Trailer parks now, havnt stepped foot in one since

>>570634000
i barfed in a bag and chucked it on my friends house. His grandpa found it, thought it was the local gypsies.

I've been in love with my best friend for 3 years and she knows. And were still best friends.

>>570636080
Just like all other apes..
that's how we tell how clean we are... remind me not to shake your hand tho.. or just love the smell of our own filth.

>>570640923
also didn't get caught
third one:
i really often thing about suicide. Don't mean i want to kill myself for real i only ask myself who would cry for me and who would really miss me

File: bi.jpg (115 KB, 1000x712) Image search: [Google]

115 KB, 1000x712

I'm bi

I posted nudes on /b/ 6 months ago and I found out a few weeks ago the thread got archived. If you know where to look, they are now permanently on the internet.

I pay 18 year olds off of tinder 100 dollars to fuck me. I am married/chubby and the two I have fucked (one twice) have been shit your pants hot.

I found two in a pile of about 850 and one was on a business trip.

>>570635180
fuck you stop lying

>>570641412
Were you the guy who posted that thread and posted pics of your horribly mutilated dick?

File: 1409184535254.gif (987 KB, 229x176) Image search: [Google]

987 KB, 229x176

>>570637890
>Implying the FBI exists to solve crimes and protect the innocent instead of extort money from those who have it to further fatten their bosses' wallets

>>570636632
Hey /b/ro check it out
Even if you did do that
His dying has nothing to do with that
Read about uranium nitrate on the internetz

>>570641412

How long did it hurt for. My knob is sensitive as fuck.

No downsides, even for a bit?

File: 10336624_338169593006956_6155579287903543971_n.jpg (17 KB, 289x395) Image search: [Google]

17 KB, 289x395

>>570636382

>>570641572
Yeah so is all of /b/ at the very least, the rest are flaming full on faggots.

>>570636382
why don't you date petite or young looking women they do exsist

>>570639293
The less I see of him the less it hurts.
He can't work, he still lives with our mother and he is always holding his side in agony.
I tried telling him about 8 years ago when he started saying the pain was just too much to bear. He racked up $20,000 in hospital visits and has not got around to paying it.
Sometimes I just think that's life. If we were in the wild and not such "civilized" creatures, I'd have killed him as the runt simply by competing with him for food.
I nearly killed him a few times before that just kicking his head in after we got into fights over things. If you're not an older brother it's probably hard to understand, but at a young age it's pretty easy to let rage take over as you hold onto ill will for days.
Fucked up thing is, I still think of him as the best friend I ever had. He was so loyal to me and dependent on my decisions. I made up all sorts of games and things for us to do. I still remember them all and how happy it made me to know that he was happy. He was such a nice kid, but as we got older and I got bigger and bigger, I just got more aggressive and competitive and our mother gave us less and less, so started fighting over what we did get.
I even stole thousands of dollars worth of video games for us to play. Hundreds of dollars in candy, Hundreds of dollars in baseball cards... so many things. I was a good thief, even though I got caught several times I still made off with a dozen games or so from each store before getting caught at them. Even stole a shit ton of snes games from a rental place. When I brought them home he'd be so happy.
Yeah it sucks, so I live in the past, before I fucked up.

been with my gf for over a year. However recently I've been having mixed thoughts about being with her. I've just started college but she's in her last year of high school so I only see her weekends but I always feel like I'm missing out on college life as I have a gf and can't hook up with all the random college girls. Also because I have to come home at weekends I'm missing out on the college life. I'm not sure I love her but I can't break up as it will ruin her year of school and I'll feel bad. No idea what to do

>>570641114
DUDE SHUT THE FUK UP IM A PHYSCO ILL KUT U IM LEGIT FUK OFF LIK CERRIUSLY ILL BEAT U UP I AM A MASTER MANIPULATER I AM FUCKING ANNONNOMOUS I AM LEGION LEGGO MY EGGO

>>570636632
God damn dude, you went full out CIA on your own brother.