>>563508351

monitoring

>>563508351
go on

k

>>563508351
moar

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>>563508351
Pre-type this shit next time

>>563508351
Faggot womanbeater cishet

Damn theres no feminism here

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>>563508351
Cont

>Decide to make pasta for dinner
>Start cooking
>20 minutes later wonder where she went
>Normally she just goes outside and walks for a few minutes
>Door flies open
>Fiancée and her friend storm in
>She looks at me and says
>"We keyed your car"
>"You did what?"
>Friend: "We keyed your car, she's breaking up with you."
>Me: "Why the fuck did you key my car?"
>Friend: "I told you he'd be more concerned about the car."
>Decide to just pretend like they aren't going batshit insane
>Me: "I made pasta for dinner, you can have some. I'm gonna go look at the damage."
>Huge scratches on every door
>Going to need a whole new paint job
>Fuckin' bitch
>Walk back up
>The girls have thrown my tortellini all over the kitchen

Cont...

monitorlizard.png

>>563509202
tortellini got wrekt

Bamp2

You suck ass at writing just hit her

>>563508351
hurry up cocksmooch

>>563509565
ha!

I'm enjoying this already OP. Take as much time as you need to.

>>563508351
How did you even go on with her for 8 years?

Story already has pasta in it... Dinosaurs, will be walked.

>>563509202
I want to hit them both already
fucking sluts

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

can any femanon explain why girls turn into bitches over nothing?

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>>563509202
Cont...

>Wonder why the fuck they threw the pasta everywhere
>Tell fiancée that if we break up she has to pay for my car
>Friend laughs and says she can pay by selling the engagement ring
>Oh fuck no
>If we break up I get the ring back
>She says no and tells me to get out of her apartment
>The apartment is mine, I'm the one who pays rent
>Friend says to get out or they call the police
>Ask them why they threw tortellini all over the apartment if they wanted me to leave
>Tells me I'm being condescending again
>Demand the ring
>Screaming ensues
>My friend from next door hears the screaming
>Comes over and asks what's up
>Tell him that apparently I'm leaving my fiancée
>Ask if I can chill with him while we get it sorted out
>Fiancée: "oh no you have to be farther away then that"
>Me: "You should probably clean the tortellini"
>My friend snickers
>Her friend pushes me and calls me an asshole

>>563510020
nobody can

>>563510020

They can't handle their insecurity

>>563510020
>Update
Not femanon, but boredom, and the same reason children do it - they test the authority of their parents, women test it on their men. If the man dominates her into submission she gets sexual pleasure from it.

I feel for that poor tortellini

gonna go take a shower. thread better be alive by the time i get back

>>563510254
8/10
>wouldlovetowitnesssomepoorfaggotacutallytrythis.mp4

>>563508351
>>563509202
>>563510118
really doubt that an 8 year relationship ended with you accidentally washing a swimsuit

>Out on a drinking spree
>Sit down at first bar, have a couple beers
>Girl that my friend likes texts me
>Think well this is weird
>Open it
>"QUICKLY COME SOMEONES IN THE HOUSE PLEASE"
>wtf?.jpg
>Show friend, he goes insane and runs to the car
>Drive to the house
>He gets out and sees a drunk guy sat outside the house with the girl screaming locked in her toilet
>friend pulls out a pole from the side of his seat and runs towards the man
>lift him up and throw him on the bonnet and tell him to calm down and comfort the girl
>He listens because hes ma boiii
>I slowly approach drunk whos sat down outside the house with his head down
>kick his ribs like im trying to score in the WC finals from a 94th minute penalty
>he falls over, lift him up by his throat
>left jab his nose, feel a crack and see it move to the side
>before i have time to feel sorry for him right hook swing lands on his chin
>falls back
>friends run up to me "youve killed him wtf"
>wake him up, take his phone and smash it
>tell him to undress
>he does
>make him run away on the highway naked
>tell him if hes not gone in 10 seconds ill beat him up again
>he isnt gone
>beat him up again
>hes gone in 5 the next time i wake him up

>>563510118
This is making me angry just reading this shit.

I... cant... handle the suspense... the dinosaur

>>563510263
Rip in pece tortellini

>>563510402
>ThingsThatNeverHappened.txt

Like she would call anyone else before the police.

I want Olive Garden

I'm about to smash a wall please let this be fake

>>563510118
i am gettin butthurt already

If this ends in you walking the dinosaur I will explode

>>563510254
sage knowledge

I've hit people thousans of tims

I wonder if it's because IM A AMATEUR BOXER

ASK ME ANYTHING U WEAKLINGS

HOW TO HANDLE UR ASS IN A FIGHT

DO U EVEN HAVE A CONCEPT OF RANGE

WHAT TO DO WITH UR LEGS

NO

BECAUSE U KNOW NOTHING

>>563510659
me too. got i'm hungry.

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>>563510118
>Look at her friend
>Very intimidatingly tell her not to touch me
>She says "Watcha gonna do about it?"
>Shoves me again
>Goes to shove me a third time
>Grab her wrists and spin her around
>Kick out the back of her knees
>Figure it was probably self defense and I'm fine
>She starts screaming bloody murder
>Like whaling like a harpy screaming
>Her: "HELP HELP HELP SOMEONE HELP ME"
>Me: "Shut up"
>My friend is looking around really concerned
>The wild Fiancée used tackle!
>I wasn't ready for it
>On the ground
>Grab her hand and rip off my engagement ring
>She grabs my balls, like full force trying to crush them
>Her friend jumps on me

>>563510576
Gon butt not forgetin

>>563510730
same here

>>563510649
This happened, she knew we were out nearby and called

Later it turned out that the guy was actually with her in the pool all night and they got drunk together, and when he tried to make moves on her she overreacted like a drunk bitch

cut ties with her and apologized to the guy for being a whiteknight faggot

OP, finish this.

>>563510395
Arguing about little things can quickly escalate into namecalling and pulling out old problems anon.

>>563510783
CANT YOU FUCKING TYPE MORE

AND TYPE THIS SHIT BEFORE HAND

NO WONDER THAT CUNT OF A GF LEFT YOU, YOU TAKE TOO DAMN LONG

>>563510783
Congrats on keeping your shit together man. I couldn't have done that, I can easily see myself killing every one of them just to clear the human gene pool of that sort of stupidity.

>>563510760
>what to do with your legs
lowkick the shit out of you till you fall down to the gound, then ground and pound your face into the ground
>another question?

>>563510783
i feel like they do meth

>>563511010

isn't that actually a good thing?

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>>563510783
>She grabs my balls, like full force trying to crush them

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>>563510783
i really hope this aint real

>>563510783
If you didn't beat them up to pulps after that then I hope this is fake :o

>>563511119
if a girl poisons her husbands dinner so he falls asleep, then chops his penis off, anything is possible.

>be me, like 10
>friend is over, he is kind of annoying
>decide to scare him by dropping a baseball bat near his head
>drop bat
>hits him right in the head
>he cries for a super long time
>cries to my brother
>brother doesn't care
>he leaves
It was a heavy metal bat too..

Op - Wtf were you doing being engaged at 23? It wouldn't have lasted until you were 30 anyway, odds-on. Stupid kids.

so OP is white trash. got it.

>>563508351
>ITT: times we've hit people
nigga you've come to the wrong neighborhood, unless by "hit", you meant killed

>>563511353
Heaven, you rascal

>>563511303
He said they were together for eight years. Even if that was when they were kids, it's still impressive.

>>563511353
Heaven, you whippersnapper

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>>563510783
Cont...

>No idea where my friend went
>Pain is about a 42 on a scale of 1-10
>Throw them off
>They come at me
>Beam her friend in the temple as hard as I can
>Feels good, I never liked the bitch
>She collapses
>Shit
>Rearranges herself then stays on the ground
>Realize she's faking
>Tell fiancée to just let me leave
>She comes at me
>Hit her in the head at about 30%
>She backs off and screams at me
>Get ready to leave
>Suddenly get arrogant
>Push fiancée aside and go get the rest of the tortellini and sauce
>Go watch World's Dumbest and eat tortellini with my friend
>Tell him off for abandoning me

I didn't leave her by the way. She said her friend made her crazy and made her friend pay for my car. It's weird, but she respects me more now that I've hit her.

FIN

>>563511071
Steven seagull shut up

>>563511353
Heaven, you faggot

>>563511560
>Respect from being hit
God dammit women are fucking retards

>>563511560
basically you're a fucking beta faggot that's scared to break up with a crazy bitch

way to ruin the fucking story you stupid cunt

>>563511560
so is she still fiance/ wife or did you put that shit on hold since then

>>563511560
>stickin it in crazy
Don do it

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>>563511560
That's what you call discipline.

>>563511560
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walks the dinosaur

>>563511353
Heaven, you penis

>>563511560
I would have rather that ended with you walking a dinosaur. You are a giant faggot for not leaving her.

>Terrible ending/10

>>563511526
underrated post

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>>563511564

>Steven Seagull

>>563511560
Fidlar my nigger, good job, you're my hero of the year

I wanna hit you now.

>>563511564
For you
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1X9RvuSuU_Y

>>563511564
>implying aikido makes use of lowkicks
full retard faggot

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>>563511560
W T F

>>563511560
I need some back story on how this was all worked out.
A crazy bitch can warp another stupid bitches mind, but why would you stay with her?
I need details nigga.

>>563511560
should have left her after her friend paid for the car.

>>563511071
this isn't an mma fight you horrendous faggot

>>563511703
She's going to be a bunny boiler in the future.

OP are you black ?

>>563511560
>I didn't leave her by the way.

Kill yourself.

>>563511560
Is she still friends with her?

>>563511560
Repects you because you have enough crushed ballsnto do so.

>>563511703
see
>>563510254

>>563511526
rip mr tortellini

Finally i needed the dinosaur

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>>563511560

*on a weird 4chin app on android cant grntxt*
>be me, in year 10 recently got new 8/10girl
>shes a little nuts, we fall mad inlove but alot of other dudes want her like crazy
>most back the fuck up
>bar this one fegit, messaging her on msn hes gonna fuck me up next time he sees me
>she copypastas it all to me i lose my shit
>see him that weekend at ice-skating
>confront this Pussy
>he starts steppy forwars 2 friend on either side of him
>15 of my friends surround them they pack shit up and leave
cont..?

>>563511560
you stayed with her?

>>563508351
>2007
>17
>be at a party
>usually very calm and just there to have fun
>some nig nog for some goddamn reason has an issue with me I speculate it was because I was friends with a girl he was talking with, and she gave me a big hug when I showed up.
>night continues fine
>nig challenges me and my friend to BP we are champs on the table three games in a row
>play the game through his bitching and blah blah
>win he says w/e and leaves
>later on I decide to go to my car and get more weed
>nig proceeds to follow
>starts ranting and raving typical nig nog bs
>i keep walking to my car
>feel an arm around my neck
>elbow him in the stomach throw him over my shoulder
>onto the ground proceed to pummel his face until he quit struggling
>figured more nigs to come
>get in my truck leave him crying on the sidewalk
>go home
>jerk off
>play some Sniper Elite and passout
>he made up some story he got jumped etc etc

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>>563511086
kek'd

>>563511560
8/10 handling of the situation, although I wouldnt have stayed with someone who can easily be "made crazy" by her friends

>>563511989
underage fucking b&

>>563511560
My gf respects me more now I've hit her. There's a lesson in this for you betafags who don't hit your women

>>563511839
fucking kek'd

>>563512226
Lol

>>563511560
respect the fist

i haven't been in a real fight since junior high, it's a damn shame. No one fucks with me. I'm not physically imposing or anything, I guess I just don't give anyone a reason to want to hit me. Closest i've gotten is the wrestling and after-school boxing i did all through high school. how do i in2fight?

>>563512202
lulwut? this was like 5 years ago

>>563511870
I am a turquoise belt. Don't fuck with me

>>563512324
Walk around the ghetto calling people niggers

>>563511897
>implying im gonna box with a boxer you horrendous faggot
why wouldnt i use, what im used to and feel comfortable with

>>563512065
what's BP?

>>563511560
Wow, he literally knocked some sense into her

>>563512417
We wouldn't that belt suggests a high likelihood of AIDS.

>>563508351
>24
>closed down the bar with some friends
>they close out and leave
>i stay and chat with a waitress i knew for a bit
>walk out 5 minutes later
>get in my car
>start hooking up my phone to play music
>hear couple arguing
>look over and laugh because this girl is yelling at this guy
>so glad i don't have a gf
>decide to sit and watch the fight for lulz
>she starts yelling at him to go away and leave her alone
>i see him start to get frustrated
>she tries to walk back into the bar to probably get some help
>he runs behind her
>grabs her by the back of her shirt collar
>pulls her backwards and onto the ground
>ohshit.jpeg
>i get out of my car and start walking over to him
>he's considerably shorter than i am
>he's ~5'7"
>I'm 6'1"
>he starts to say something
>hit him in his jaw
>asleep by the time he hits the ground
>girl gets in her car, thanks me and leaves
>kick him in the ribs once and leave him in the parking lot

>be me
>19
>drinking with friends
>friend C sees spider in bush
>friend kills spider
>punch friend apparently full force in the back of the head
>he never kills a spider in front of me again

>>563512519
beer pong

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>>563511560
>I didn't leave her by the way.
>mfw

>>563512447
No way that would ever work

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>>563512417
Turquoise belt. Top Kek.

>3 hours ago
>little sister comes into my room
>asks me if she can borrow my ds
>fuck no bitch
>mom calls on us
>dinnertime
>after the lasagna sis asks if she can be excused
>she goes upstairs
>start suspecting grand theft
>put on my argonian mask i wore at comicon
>sneak outside her room
>hear she's playing my ds
>open the door
>get on the floor
>slap her shit until she fucking cries
>reclaim ds
>imokwiththis

>>563512447
it's common knowledge that niggers only fight in packs

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>>563511560
This is fake as shit.

Why would the friend agree to pay for your car damage?

Like she was like "oh you are right Anon fiancee my crazy must have infected you and you are not responsible for your own actions. I will surely spend hundreds of dollars to fix the car we damaged together after I got punched in my face by said owner of the car."

Only believable part is that the girls acted crazy you lightly shoved one and then you got back together with the tortellini thrower.

PASTA IVE READ THIS BEFORE LOL XD :^)

>>563512724
Just let her borrow your DS you underage faggot

>>563512417
this isnt the special kids fighting league anon
>you go play with the other retarded kids over there pls

>>563512570
>you left out the part where you sucked his dick

>>563511560

Leave her. Now. She's fucking insane.

>>563511839
Top notch

>>563511560
>she respects me more now that I've hit her
Ladies and gentlemen, here it is the moral of this story.

>>563511753
Ha!

>>563512909
I bet you don't even have a belt you fucking casual

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>>563513114
This is now a "women put in their place" thread.

>>563512870
fuck you piece of shit faggot
she's gotta learn about property at some point in her life. also last time bitch deleted my save on chrono trigger

>>563510360
I m doing it every day

>>563513260
war machine?

>>563512601
Why? This story makes no sense

>>563512570
what the fuck did that have to do with you? dumb nigger.

>>563512519
Beer Pong you big silly

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>>563513226

>be like 8
>playing football in seperate ground for just my year
>score amazing goal and start showing off
>little faggot who i never like pushed my head into the fence (metal fence, had a mark on the side of my face, hurt like fuck)
>punch him in the nose and he falls to the ground, then repeatedly kick the shit out of him
>older sister comes and takes me to clean myself up
>mfw when i didn't get in trouble
>mfw he hated me for ages
>mfw when i moved to a different house and school months later
>mfw i have no face

>be me 16 year old 5 years ago
>Brother 19 mute deaf
>since he can't hear he sometimes takes offense in us talking between ourselves and thinks we're insulting him
>this one night i was talking to GF and he comes in room asks me something i answer and when he was about to leave my gf laughs at tv show
>he thinks GF said something about him
>I tell him she was laughing at tv
>i shit you not this motherfucker tried to lunge at a 16 year old girl
>i grab him and tell him to stop, we're about same size
>he starts acting like a nigger and tries to hit me too
>I push him out of room tell him to calm down and close door to avoid further shit
>he kicks my door down it hits my aquarium and breaks it
>i go into a fit of rage and punch him in the face so hard he spits a tooth
>he starts trying to hit me but i am too enraged to care
>GF crying
>i pin brother down and take him to haymaker town
>mom comes home and pulls us apart
>brother unconcious straight to ambulance
>mom smacks me and tells me i'm grounded
>GF breaks up with me saying i'm a savage

And the fuck never even paid for my broken aquarium

>>563512570
False. There's no way you could reach his jaw from all the way down there

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>>563513451
Don't let this die

>>563513610
Hey retard, he was the one who was taller. Work on your reading skills.

>college
>work doorman at bar for cash & free beer
>almost never trouble, people come to drink and have fun
>one night, not on, just hanging, two drunken yokel couples come into town
>get so drunk, start beating their wives in bar.
>All hands on deck, because cunts start fighting US when we try to get them all to leave.
>Get them pushed outside, wind up having to fend off tall skinny guy while his built like a cantaloupe friend gets his ass beat and others hold the women.
hit in the face twice, shit hurt.
>This inbred fucker's wedding ring's all knobbly and shit.
>go from restrain mode to pissed.
>caught his haymaker on arm, punch dead center chest, then drop up, bring up, dislocated his shoulder.
>fight's all out of him.

>>563513468
Did you learn sign language and if so how hard was that?

>>563513704
hey dumb ass realize he was talking about how the guy was sucking the other dudes dick

>>563510254
Couldn't said it better.

>>563513704
Well fuck..

>>563513895
Then learn to quote posts newfag, you didn't quote the post about sucking dick, you quoted the story.

>>563513848
It wasn't that hard because i was brought up with it, he taught me and so did my mom, but signing when you're hot headed is hard when you dont have to do it for everyday use

>>563513468
You let your mother smack you like that? No self defense?

your Ex GF is stupid :o

>>563513848
I can just imagine a heated argument with people just throwing up signs. Thatd be fucking hilarious.

>>563514009
good thing i wasnt the one that you initially responded to

>>563512519
Beer Pong

>>563509202
>the girls have thrown my tortellini all over the kitchen

fucking lol'ed this is gold

>>563514092
I respect my mom and am not going to smack her back

And yeah she was, got laid tho so its k

>Be 20 at uni 4 years ago
>Be outside club leaving after closing with gf and some friends
>Bottle out of nowhere flies into our group and hits me on shoulder. Didn't hurt as only plastic club bottle.
>Ask douche who threw it to apologise.
>Douche gets all up in my face calling me a faggot etc
>He's about 4 years older than me and I'm not the aggressive sort so after him still not apologising I leave it and he walks off
>Turns out him and his pikey friends are waiting for us around the corner.
>Douche gets all up in my face again and running his mouth
>Me being drunk and in front of gf and some friends decide out of nowhere had enough
>take one step back and right hook the fucker right in the jaw
>pathetic drunken scrap ensues where he misses me everytime except for one light contact and I sock him again this time in the side of head (realise later I broke my little finger knuckle on brow ridge. bad times)
>His giant skin head friend starts walking up to me
>Ohshitthisistheend.jpeg
>Guy gets between us and breaks it up
>PraisebetoOden.webm Thought I was fucked.
>leave quick before police

Fin.
Was pretty pathetic really but only proper fight and I won. Mainly by taking him by surprise as he didn't expected me to hit him at all.

>>563514019
One more question. Is it international or is sign language too different in different countries to carry over

>>563514202
Yeah I realize that now, that just makes you the dumb ass, his joke wasn't about sucking dick, that doesn't even make sense you moron.

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>>563511560
I really don't understand women

>>563512607
GTFO trolls
>>563513442
>>563514269

>>563514159
Do you think that they interrupt eachother as we do or would they have to be more courteous cos I imagine that a heated argument in a group would be a free for all

>>563513360
I don't dominate physically.

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>>563511560

>she respects me more now that I've hit her

fucking win

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>>563508351
>Be 3rd Grade
>Shitty Catholic Private School for a few months
>No friends (another story)
>Everyone picks on me for not believing and being from out of state.
>This one fat kid, Edward.
>Always follows me where I go.
>Says things like "We don't trust New Yorkers" "I'm gonna kill you, freak."
>Tell teacher, she doesn't think anything is wrong. Tells parents I'm fitting in fine.
>One day, I'm not gonna take it anymore.
>Out on the blacktop where people are playing basketball and 4 square.
>Edward comes up to me, as usual.
>Insults
>Grab his curly mexican hair.
>Pull, jerking his head back.
>Kick his shins, sending him to his knees
>Tighten my grip.
>Slam his face into the asphalt.
>Drag it across the black top
>His face taking damage from every uneven surface.
>Crowd forms around us as I continue slamming and dragging.
>Blood for the Blood God.
>Keep going, Edward is crying his bitch eyes out.
>Teacher grabs me and carries me to the office.
> Parents are called.
> Principle decides I was provoked and had some justification, but went way too far.
>Surprisingly, no punishment. Parents finally start looking for a better school
> Left that school in 3 weeks.
> Edward never talked to me again.

>>563511560

I enjoyed that read, but OP is crazy to stay whith that insane bitch. Ah well, good luck with the marriage.

>>563514317
How can you respect her if she hits you for no reason?

>>563514397
Why are you assuming I'm a male?

>>563514572
autism

>>563514608
Im imagining it as them interrupting in the middle of signing a sentence because it makes it even funnier

>>563512065
wrekt

>Be about 16
>Group of scum bags that hang around the area
>Usually yell shit at people but only actually fuck with the innocent looking ones
>Enter me
>They made me walk into a nearby woods and forced me to strip
>Terrified they were gonna take pictures but probably didn't because of evidence.
>They were like 19-22, fucking losers
>Luckily i knew the area and so i got back with nobody seeing me. Had to climb my tall ass wooden back gate though.
>Normally i could take this shit they gave but when someone does that to you. Makes you that exposed and vulnerable... Something just happens to you.
>I broke.
>I got my brother old baseball bat and essentially stalked them until they went to the woods
>They were drinking cans (of fucking course)
>I threw stones in a certain direction but they didn't take the bait
> After quite a while they decided to leave
> I was actually almost past the point of anger, but there was still this emptiness inside, but also at the same time determination.
> I wouldn't feel right unless i did what i had to do
>Two of them went in one direction, leaving the other on his own
> I remembered him because the other two were laughing constantly but he was very blank. Not in a guilty kind of way, but almost sociopathic. This guy did not give a fuck about anything.
>Except for the bat that went into the back of his.
> Let out an exhale as it hit, i could almost feel the pain. He squirmed and gargled a bit and i just let loose. I honestly do not know how many times i hit him.
> Threw all my clothes and the bat in the bath tub at home, with a fuck load of soap.
> Never got called in by the cops or anything. I guess the innocent look has its advantages.

Fucked up thing is that it doesn't burden me, its like looking back at a memory of summer camp. Just something that happened ages ago. Sometimes i think i must be messed up to not feel guilty about it, but i do care about people and don't actually to hurt them.

>>563511353
Heaven, you fucking slope.

>>563513895
Where did I say I was sucking the dudes dick?

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>>563514781

>>563514339
she hit me because my older deaf mute brother was unconsious on the ground spitting blood and she saw me hitting him

>>563512548
kek

>>563514908
I wish that dude would come back and answer the questions. Also is there yelling in sign language? And do they make facial expressions to indicate tone. Also can you sarcastically sign

>be 10
>playing bball at recess
>biggest nigger in the entire school on my team
>get tired of Tyrone's shit
>throw the ball to a friend of mine on the other team
>walk off the court
>Tyrone approaches me
>MAIN WHUT DAFUQ MAIN
>turn around to face him
>nigger sucker punches me and I collapse
>really got my tortellini thrown all over the kitchen that day

>>563514972
Did you kill him?

>>563511560
youre actually alpha as fuck for not being a pussy and putting them in their place

but beta for staying with a crazy bitch

>>563515229
That didn't answer my question at all. Also can you read my other post about all the questions

>>563511726
Then there's you anon who gets no women at all. Fuck off.

>>563512870
you sound like one of those faggots with an incest fetish

Having a sibling is nothing like your Chinese cartoons, get out of the basement.

>>563515491

Fuck the hippo, czech cunts leaked sause all over piggy's limeaid.

>me doing cocaine..a lot of coke
>I am a psychopath when I do coke
>at a party someone pushes me and I turned around without looking and cold cock some poor kid in the jaw
>he falls down and doesn't move
>I run away
>find out the next day that some kid on the rugby team broke his jaw after he got sucker punched in our apartment
>pretend like I had no idea what happened
>never get caught
>rugby kid had his jaw wired shut

>>563515473
why the fucking tiny text, you fucking nigger?!

>>563515407
Yup

>be me 20yo at a street festival
>fucker i knew from school and used to hang out
was high on md and started talking shit
>i was fucking drunk at this point so i just punched him in the face
>bloodeverywhere.jpg
>ff 1 week later we arrange a meeting so we can end this properly

i made him bleed once again but he threw some punches on my pretty face as well nothing to fancy tho

>>563515491
i like to shove pencils in my nose when a cookie explodes in my clothes so that blows like yo momas ass because she has a pass and is a great lass and likes to spank yours dads nose in the hole with a pole while living on the dole because you're poor so you're mums a whore

> be 36
> be at bar last friday night hanging with friends after work
> my girl friend and I regullary hang here with friends
> my girl is off on the dance floor with other chicks dancing
> my /b/ro's are hanging out
> these two guys next to us are mouthing off on how they scored with a chick from the bar the night before
> they point out one of my /b/ro's gf on the dance floor
> my /b/ro ... he calls him on his shit
> they start trying to be all tough saying hell yeah he had her last night, starts talking shit
> my /b/ro an I stand up to them, we're not small gus I am 6'4" 300 pounds .. he is 6"8 275 pounds
> these shits start talking ore shit like we'd better sit down or there's gonna be trouble
> we keep our coll and keep calling them on their shit
> one of them swings at my /b/ro, I step in the way and let him hit me
> the other guy fake kung fu kicks me in my side
> I tell my /b/ro these pussy bitches aren't worth the trouble
> I have a bit of a bloodied nose, and I look to them and tell them to go fuck themselves, since they have to lie about the tail they get
> first fucker swings again at me, I let him hit me
> it stagered me a bit, he's strong
> bouncers are coming over
> I tell them to get the fuck out of my face
> second fucker thinking he is bad ass grabs a bottle and slams it against the bar stool ... like it would break in the movies ... it doesn't (dumbfuck)
> he looks surprised, his buddy steps back
> dumb fuck who started the whole thing swings the bottle at my head
> I duck and catch his ass with a punch tot he stomach
> fucker is down and crying, his buddy bails on him
> cops show up, my friends back my story, dumb fuck gets cuffed and taken away
> cops arrested him for "assault with a intent to cause great bodily harm"
> he'll likely plead down to assault ...

... feelsgreatman.jpg ...

>>563515491
Fuck shit wank tits arse. I think that the Navy's gone head-over-heels for the new Hippo Girl Dresses.

>>563514339
Different

>>563512519
Big Penis

>>563515681
>>563515407
Just realized your OP. Did you actually stay with your fiance? That just seems like a dramatic play that's never gonna close its curtains.

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> be me
> automotive class
> trying to remove brake drum
> fuck if I know
> can't get it off
> some dickhead comes over
> starts turning wrench the WRONG FUCKING WAY
> try to correct him
> he calls me supertech
> I'm holding a prybar
> get shrekked kid
> nail him in the knee
> three cheers for based anon

>>563515491
now one moment, damie. You is a baddy daddy, and Imma sine yo pitty on the runny kine.

>be 18yo
>just minding my own business walking to a friends place
>some drunk guy in his early 20s is staggering trying to walk towards me on the pavement
>step to the right side
>so does he
>think nothing of it because drunks eh?
>as i walk closer he starts looking at me
>he grabs me and starts punching me in the stomach and chest for no reason
>dosent hurt because hes drunk as fuck
>push him away and he stumbles and falls
>calls me a fucking pussy dirty fighter as he picks himself up
>just kicked him in the head as hard as i could
>nightnight.png

>>563512870
Its HIS ds not hers you fucking spic lover

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>>563515780

>>563515780
Are you fat

>>563514159
it's pretty funny on the show Fargo. in the fourth episode i believe.

>>563516361
not especially, I mean I could loose about 15 maybe 20 pounds

>be at some rock concert
>there's a mosh pit
>I m very drunk shoving people around
>see a guy coming my way
>move my right hand back getting ready to push him
>feel i just nailed someone behind me in the face with my elbow
>ohshit
>turn around, i've hit a girl right in her nose
>Tears down her face, blood coming out of her nose
>Her boyfriend is like 40cm (fuck u murica) taller then me
>ohshitimdead
>waiting for the punch
>nothingwut
>he says apologize to her
>I apologize
>mfw

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>be at dads pub
>local celeb guy walks in(Olympic boxer medalist )
>acts like an ass to everyone
>pushes dude on table breaking some stuff
>grab by the shoulder to escort him outside
>sucker punches me in the face
>get mad
>tackle him to the ground
>rear naked chocke
>put him to sleep
>roll him around and smash his face in
>get up and tell his boys to take him home

>>563512724
Faglord...

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>>563515914
Yeah I actually stayed with her. We go to a relationship counsellor every other week now. It fucking sucks and apparently I have an "anger problem" but at least she's happier.

The counsellor had her go to our clinic and get tested for a thyroid problem. She has hypothyroidism, so her mood swings were extreme. We caught it really early an now she's on medicine that stablizes her hormones. There's less sex but she's so much more willing to cook.

And for everyone asking, her friend payed for the car because she realized she was being a bitch. And I have nude photos of her that probably helped. You can't really see anything but she still got scared as shit.

>pic not related
I'll go get the pictures. They're hidden in a folder on my phone.

>>563516501
you gotta expect that in a mosh pit though... what a /b/ro

>>563516495
So are you muscly as all fuck? Why are you so big? 280lbs lean is pretty ridonk

>be eight
>school break time and children are fucking about the field
>walking near football field when someone pushed me and my head hit the goal post really hard
>he starts laughing at my face
>i cry
>i get very angry. like HULK angry and start running toward him
>he is three years older so i couldnt reach him because he ran faster
>i run after him so much my lungs get fucked up
>everybody starts laughing
>he sees me and like FEELS for me so he gets back and tries making it up by giving me 5 bucks to make up for what he's done
>i then proceed to punch him everywhere i can while crying and spitting at the same time because i had ran out of breath and coughing hard.
>i'm so weak my punches dont hurt him that much and he starts laughing and let me punch him
>i get a moment of self-consciousness, get embaressed and go back to class.
>get out of that school 1 week later.

>>563512416
>this was like 5 hours ago

>>563513468
Do you have a new gf/fiancee now?

>be 11
>at friends party
>want to go on trampoline
>another kid says no
>punch him in chest
>another fucking tard screams that a punched him in heart lul
>kids crying on trampoline
>I run off
>for some reason I start crying
>we both get told off
>ene

>>563511560
>I didn't leave her by the way
>I didn't leave her
>didn't leave her

die

>>563516495
hes fat.. lmfao to be 6'4 and 250+... either hes lying,a fat piece of shit, or a body builder.. im 6'3 and not much body fat but im only 200 natural weight would be 250 max.. you weigh more than most nba players and they are mainly muscle

The first time I hit someone isn't that good of a story because I was like 6. Instead here's the first time I knocked anyone out
>be on my way home from work when I get a call from roommate
>"anon you should get a half gallon of vodka on your way home"
>sure why not
>come home roommate has been marathonning lost on Netflix
>" anon let's get drunk and watch lost"
>sure why not
>start watching lost taking shots every time they say island whatsinthathatch.gif
>suddenly we are sauced. Other roommate comes home
>"let's go chill on the balcony"
>roommates start talking about their older brothers who are all responsible n shit
>basically becomes a pissing match over who's brother has a bigger dick
>drunk roommate is getting belligerent so I tell my other rm let's just go inside
>drunk rm follows "my brother is an elite navy seal sniper with over 200 confirmed kills"
>Yea sure ok
>drunk rm isn't too drunk to recognize sarcasm which puts him over the edge...

Anyone interested in the rest? I'm doing this on mobile so it's not worth it for me if no one is listening.

>>563517087
moar

Yeah this is my train of thought

>>563516687
Yeah they were on the "edge" of the mosh pit so there's chance you ll get shoved or kicked or smth, in any other case i think he would've kick the shit out of me. I could see the rage in his eyes tho

>>563516751
I am a big guy. I will and never have been small

>extremely recently
>gf and I have been fighting more
>getting less sex
>sex is always vanilla
>finally get a chance to fuck her
>doing it half assed because the spark is gone
>she starts babbling on about how we've been fighting
>"am I just not good enough for you anon?"
>rage
>choke her with one hand
>slap the shit out of her with the other one
>cum inside her
>she cries
>i go to sleep
Can't wait to see how this relationship turns out...

>>563511560
>I didn't leave her by the way. She said her friend made her crazy and made her friend pay for my car.
So for now, it's all someone else's fault, and soon it'll be all your fault again, because it's obviously never your girlfriend's. Anon, you are a fucking moron.

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>>563517341

>>563517341
No no no señor you not this big by accident.

Captcha: 252 ocdepu
The Captcha isn't as big as you

>>563517082
bullshit
at 6'3" you weighing only 200 pounds must one thin weak scrawny bitch of a punk let me guess you're athletic you play baseball ... punk

while I could stand to loose some weight, I've put on a little since I turned 30 (I'm 36) I am not fat ... heavy yes, but I am big broad shoulders and I used to box and weight lift and play American football

>>563511560
why is everyone commending you for keeping your cool when you did the complete opposite?

>>563515767
Great rap faggot. Too bad you're white.

>>563515568
>Implying I'm a femanon

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>>563516673
OP posting from my phone

I cropped it up so you can't see the faces. The bitchy girl is the one on the left.

>>563517509
It's better now. She's on meds that keep her from being so crazy. The threesomes and foursomes are also pretty good motivation, and she's a hell of a cool with a stable job. One day of total insanity isn't enough to give all that up.

>Be me playing my DS and watching my favorite episode of MLP
>little sister comes in and asks she can use my DS
>I tell her to f off
>here my mom scream from downstairs
>Sister says if I wasn't such a sperg lord I might have friends to dual link with
>kick my sister right in her pussy

>>563518139
>not OP

>>563511560
Wannabe War Machine detected.

>>563510402
>woman freaks out because a guy passed out drunk on her lawn
>her two nigger friends come and beat the shit out of the passed out guy
>ruin his phone
>beat him again
>he finally manages to escape their niggerly ways
>nigger posts story on /b/

Good job being a nigger, nigger.

>>563515802
Once again you fucking drunk Irish fire crotched faggot, I'm not a femanon.

>>563518139
Cook*

>>563517509
100% correct post is 100% correct.

Jesus, OP, that story was great, it gave me a laugh, and the happy ending was a surprise... But come on. Your cunt of a fiancee is a timebomb waiting to happen. She's the exact kind of person who is, one day, going to get it in to her head that you're cheating on her and her response will be to go fuck some other guy and throw it in your face without ever talking to you about her concerns beforehand.
Don't waste any more time or money on this emotionally crippled imbecile.

Break up with her (but make sure you hide all your tortellini and cars first).

>>563517764
>Played football
>took PEDs when a teen

Dude has small balls and overinflated drug muscles covered in fat.

>>563516673
>>563518139
>>563518220

It's me, the pics were on my phone

>>563518139
i bet the fat one is your wife

>>563518317
Oh Christ not the tortellini!

>>563510118
my precious

>>563508351
>be probably 4 maybe younger.
>at park with mom.
>find a fuzzy caterpillar.
>I'm fascinated
>play with caterpillar and try to feed it leaves.
>show the caterpillar to some other kid my age.
>he takes it from me.
>before I can do anything he throws it on the ground and stomps on it.
>mfw he killed my caterpillar for no reason.
>hit him and push him over
>stomp on him
>leave park with mom
>to this day I have no regrets

>>563518443
never juiced ass munch
My uncle was big too, so was my grand father... tough old timers
Shit just runs in our family

>>563512519
Better Petroleum

>>563508351
>It's the day before Independence Day
>Some friends and myself go out drinking
>Bar hopping in Los Angeles
>Getting back to the parking lot
>Extremely drunk
>I'm Screaming something about the 4th of july
>There are two other guys in the parking lot
>One of them tells me shut the fuck up
>Mind you, there are two of them and four of us
>We talk some shit back
> but we get in the car and leave
>while driving away this faggot keeps talking shit
>I tell him to go fuck him mother
>while making a right turn out of the parking lot, this guy sprints 100-150 ft toward us
>Runs up to the car and starts trying to punch me through the open window
>ends up punching my friends car leaving a small dent
>We fly around the block
>we engage in kill mode
>while driving around the block, we confirm we are going to kick their fucking shit in
>As soon as we screech up, I heard one of them say "Oh shit, those are the guys"
>They run back into their car
> Our Friend (#4) stays back like a pussy
>Myself and my other friend take the right side of the car and start dropping the hammer on this bitch
>He may have been unconscious or playing dead because he wasn't moving
>On the drivers side, my other friend, I'm going to call him Willie B
>Willie B is 6'3 and like 230, big guy
>He kicks in the guys window on his door, pulls the guy half way out through the broken glass
>I see him just pounding this guys face with some right hooks
>Mind you this is the guy that actually ran up and hit my friends car
>We sprint back to our car and get the fuck out

tl;dr - Some faggot talks shit on the 4th of july, hits my friends car as we are driving away, we get out and kick him and his friends shit in

>brother is two years older than I
>he is jacked as shit because he does gymnastics
>he always picks on me and bosses me around
>enough is enough
>"Anon, get the fuck out of here. I'm going to watch tv."
>"Go fuck yourself."
>"What you say faggot?!"
>he grabs me by the collar.
>I slap him
>he stumbles back a few steps
>"Ya! That's what I-"
>he power kicks me in the chest
>can't breath
>he jumps on me and starts swinging away.
>20 seconds later I can't open my eyes and blood is filling my mouth and nostrils.
>I sure showed that gymnastics faggot who's boss.

>>563517764
Calling people punks and being a 36 year old on 4chins which is ironic cos you probs got 4chins. Next time you make up a weight maybe google someone who is that size

>>563518139
She's a bitch cos she's fat.

>>563518317
She's better now that her job is going well and we got the thyroid taken care of. Cheating isn't a problem for us, if we want extra we just call one of the couples we have on speed dial and get a foursome.

STDs... That might be a problem in the future though. I hope the other couples are more monogamous with us than we are with them.

>>563518563
They're both kinda fat

>>563518818
lol implying you have friends
implying you know how to fight
lmao is this what you fantsize about after getting bullied?

>>563518818
Lol we got drunk and jumped 2 guys. Is that hard to believe?

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>>563518139

>>563512570
Who told you to get involved, you fucking wannabe Batman?

>>563517764
lol of course you play football.. the only sport wheres its accetable to be fat as shit.. na i play basketball and wrestle for school

>>563519078
>Lol we got drunk and jumped 2 guys. Is that hard to believe?

>>563518293
see>>563510870