>>560510546
Just kill yourself already.

>>560510671
wheres the fun in that?

>>560511965
He should do an hero and film it for us, like many faggots before him

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>>560510546
baww music

https://soundcloud.com/flawlessleauge/sets/viva-forgotten-vols-2014

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commencing dump if anyone else will join me

>>560513002

Do you think this guy bones lots of chicks?

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>>560513375
This one always breaks my heart, I hope it never happens to my nieces and nephews.

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Op here,
Thanks for being here guys,
Me and my Girlfriend ended up breaking things off... and over the chat of a video game no less.
She wouldnt open back up to me because she was scared i was gonna hurt her again(i broke up with her and i said some mean things)
and she said i wouldnt protect her anymore.(people would say stuff about her and i would sarcastically go with it.)

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>>560515301
Np man. My ex, the love of my life is recently engaged, so I've got plenty of feels too.

I text my dead girlfriend's phone every night. Ask me anything.

>>560514740
Fuck. I have a cousin we call Ty-ty. Was just at his house a few hours back. Too close to home.

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I only come to /b/ to remind myself that the board is shit. Try and convince me it isn't, you emo kiddies.

who am i what am i here for im not like you

>>560515301
You're always supposed to protect the ones you care about. If someone insulted someone I loved I'd slap their shit. Stand up for yourself anon, and those you care about.

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>>560515301
>MFW Girlfriend got raped
>Don't know if I believe that it was actually rape or not
>Wonder if I still want her
>Wonder if it's my fault
>Wonder if she still wants me
>Wonder if she's just playing me
I Don't know what to do

>>560516296
I use to is the problem, and i dont know why i stopped, maybe because we weren't the same anymore.

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>>560515970
We can't, because it's true.

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>>560515478
Underrated post

>>560516519
Did this happen recently man?

>>560516519
Fucking leave man. Fuck it. You aren't married to her, and I really fucking doubt you love her. So screw it. Find someone else. You don't need to carry that baggage

>>560515584
How'd she die?
Do the texts get an automated rejection If the number is disconnected?
Has anyone ever responded?

'Least she's not dead. Just sit her down, and say you want to have a calm, non-accusatory conversation. Maintaining eye contact, sternly yet kindly and coolly ask the questions you want the answers to. Even if she lies, she'll make the truth apparent.

>>560516895
Yeah, like a month ago.

>>560516902
I dunno. We've been dating for two years, she's the first girl I've ever slept with (embarrassing I know)

>>560513375
I've been the only guest to show up to a kid's birthday party. Twice. I don't know whether that made it better or worse.

>>560516983
Guys, she said to me she wants to have a 2 week break and i told her i couldnt do it, because i know what breaks mean, they happened in my other relationships and they tortured me. all i did was constantly think about them.
she wanted to think things over because she didnt feel herself.

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>>560512830

>>560516519

If you are not sure she really got raped then she probably didn't. For you not to be sure I assume she wasn't pulled off the street by some maniac...so yeah, sounds pretty suspect.

>>560516914
She was hit by a drunk driver 3 months and 11 days ago. It doesn't auto-reject. It just wouldn't reach her if she was alive. I'd be pretty scared if I got an answer.
This whole thing has really fucked me up.

>>560517579
How long were you together anon?

>>560517301
i cri everytime

>>560517431
That's the thing. she got looked over by a doctor and she was pretty messed up. She had to get stitches and a skin graft, and some of her teeth are loose.

However, she knew the guy, apparently he just "walked into her appt to use the bathroom, and found him in her room", and neither of her two roommates heard anything.

She went to the police but they convinced her not to press charges.

>>560517579
If you do it long enough, someone will answer. Phone company will recycle the number. Be prepared for that.
Drunk drivers are scum.

>>560517718
We'd been dating sice we were 14, and friends since grade school. I'm 26 years old and crumbling, at the moment.

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>>560517271
A break is a break up, no other way around it...that's what the love of my life said she wanted...now all these later, still waiting for the 'hey, lets end this break'

>>560514128
That fucking episode man, shit was SO not cash.

>>560518014
That's fucking heartbreaking bro. I'm so sorry.

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>>560510546
Reminded me of this.

I am watching my dad die slowly of parkinsons. He is a semi-famous scientist who has been doing a shit ton of work against cancer and diabetes. And here he is taking a handful of drugs every day just to keep his hands from shaking so he can still work. He lives with us now and every day i have to watch him and when he doesnt take his medicine he can barely hold a pen.

Its not fair that someone who is doing so much good right now and is so close to fixing diabetes has to die like this. He is terrified he dies before he finishes this we are just terrified he is going to die. It is really fucking with me

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>>560518365
reminded me of this

>>560518352
Thanks. I've at least managed to keep my job, but everything else has been leaving with her. My lifw has degraded into work, drinking, internet, repeat. I stopped caring about family and friends a while ago. After lomg enough, the feeling became mutual.

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>>560518898

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Harry Potter I know, but it hits me right in the feels man.

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>>560519056

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>>560519231
Why? Also this is the only poem that I have ever cried about

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>>560519315

I went to the bar yesterday
it was for a big event for my friend, so I wanted to go support her even though bars aren't really my thing

I saw tons of happy couples there, people that could laugh together and hold each other close

I ended up sitting in the rain alone for most of the event because all of my friends were too busy with other things or trying to get laid

I remember why social gatherings aren't my scene

Going to bed guys, i've cried enough where ive got a headache.
Thanks for being here.

It hurts so much what do i even do help

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I'm very lonely. I don't like talking to others because I feel like a bother. I can begin talking to someone and than I become clingy or I take the person for granted. What the fuck is wrong with me.

>>560519856
I lost 2 brothers in the course of 11 months. We may not have been twins. or triplets, but that's what it feels like.

>>560520747
you get over it, bruh. all the worry and/or internlized sadness will hurt you more than whatever causes those thing. Take it from someone who has been there

>>560520747
Only thing you can /b/ro, fucking let it out. I've been in these threads for like over a damn week. Posting the same shit, beccause right now, it's the shit that's killing me, and I need to let it out.

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>>560519315
i'm going to dump whatever space feels i have
not sure what i've got

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>>560521180
as it turns out i have only that image

>>560521180

What about the other side of the Earth?

>>560520813
I know that feel. It helps a lot just to always occupy yourself so that you wont dwell on that stuff, and it will eventually become easy to not care.

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>>560521381

>>560520813
I feel the same way. The EXACT same way anon. but the thing is, it's just that when we need someone, and someone complies, we just dont want to let go. Because we just dont want to be alone again needing someone else...

>>560520747
Let it out. Here, or to yourself, or someone you can talk to. I don't really have that last one though.

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>>560521582

>>560521180
What about the people that have sent their body into space after death?

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>>560522174

>Driving in my car
>tfw no matter how many times i change the station, it dosnt change the memories going through my head. no matter how loud the volume it still wont drown out the voices

fuck driving sucks,

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>>560520813
You are not alone

I just want to feel love for someone with the comfort of knowing that they love you too
that they will stick by you no matter what

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>>560522174
>>560521180
Vladimir Komarov

Poor guy went up there even though he knew he would come back as a melted chocolate bar.

>>560522405
atleast he knew he was of use the the motherland

>>560522405
He insisted on going rather than his friend, didn't he?

>>560522306
Yeah tell me about it.

Before I knew she was engaged, everytime...EVERYTIME I turned the radio on, those songs were on, 'our' fucking songs were on. It hurt to remember those times, so I check FB to msg her first thing I see 'Femanon is now engaged'.

I wish didn't still love her so damn much. it hurts b, it really does.

>>560522597
He was cursing at the motherland all the way back down.
>>560522672
Not that i've read./

>>560512607
you know what ? after reading that I got even more depressed knowing none of all those bullshit listed would ever happen if I died

>>560520973
I'm sorry dude that blows, wanna explain the pic tho

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVSHdwWzLo4

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>>560522738
Just came to this thread.

Gotta say, it's been a while since I've seen a good baww thread.

/b/ helped me out about 2 and a half years back. I was making a baww thread every other day it seemed like.

Had been with my wife for 11 years (we weren't married for all of them), and she had just left me. Not for another man (though I later found out she had had some one night stands while we were still married). Not because I didn't love her or couldn't provide for her (I was an scientist doing R&D and I loved her with all my heart) but just because she... stopped loving me.

those were dark times...

it's been a long road getting my head back up again.

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I try to get into programming, but it seems like I'm too retarded to do it.

I feel like programming is my ticket to not being some fucking HVAC installer living in the goddamn suburbs having to hang around a bunch of corpulent old men who probably hate Hispanics, or some 9-5 office worker. And it's utterly hopeless.

>>560520328
Fuck, anon

I saw it coming but it was still a good read

>>560511669
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXcV6dOMUZs

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I'll dump some I suppose

>>560523369
You'd probably laugh if I told you how long I've been waiting, but no matter who or how many other women, it just isn't her you know.

That's fucking shitty that, that happened to you though man, I'm sorry.
>>560523149
From Harry Potter, they were twins one died, the one that lived lost part of his soul.

Well not literally part of his soul, but yeah it fits

>>560522298
It's what I'm planning to do. For a certain fee, launch my ashes, skeleton of possible, into space to travel the universe until I'm obliterated. Hopefully by the time I die it will be cheaper

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>>560524123

>>560519196
We're all still waiting.

>>560518158
This one makes me sick

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>>560524240

>>560514128
>mfw that breakdown wasn't even scripted
>eyesrain.gif

>>560523149
Casting a Patronus is to literally, and perfectly recall the happiest you've ever been to banish monsters that suck out your soul while making you remember all the bad things in your life.

So, losing his brother means he can never truly br happy anymore.

>>560523397
What language are you interested in?

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>>560523970
Meh, do it the Hunter S. Thompson way: fire your ashes out of a cannon.

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>>560524370

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>>560524480

>>560519315
Ground control to Major Tom

>>560515970
It is shit. Thats why we come

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>>560524585

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>>560524694

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1/8

>>560521648
That one hit a little too close to home.

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>>560524868
2/8

>>560524441
I would've typed that out, but just reading it brought me to tears, I couldn't type that, cause I'm living it

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>>560524919
yeah

>>560524952
3/8

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>>560525048
4/8

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>>560523920
It was.

In the end, it was for the best, I suppose. We had been together since highschool. First girlfriend. She was that sort of untainted "first love".

However, I've learned a lot since she left. That doesn't mean it wasn't hard though. I was viciously depressed for the first year. Made some really bad decisions:
>Met a girl 4 months in. Slept with her. First time ever fucking someone that wasn't my ex wife. Woke up -that night- and in a groggy haze felt someone warm next to me. When I reached out and the body wasn't that of my ex wife I straight leaped out of bed I was so startled.

>This new girl ended up being incredibly special, but due to being so fucked up I pushed her away. I was certain that I just couldn't judge who was worth while and who wasn't. I've dated 12 girls since then and she -was- special and I fucked that all up. My divorce cost me -two- great women.

>lost my best friend as well. We had been friends since we were 4 or something. His fiance was very similar to my ex-wife in behavior (though she was maybe less attractive? I dunno, better face worse body). Point, is they were having issues. Was drunk one night and his ex wife came on to me. This was before dating the new girl so... not feeling like human garbage for the first time in months was... indescribable. I just let things happen and long story short it cost me a lot.

Life is hard anon, but you have to keep moving forward.

I've a great girlfriend now and I'm in a good place. It eventually works out. (Though if I'm totally honest, I still miss that girl that I met after my ex-wife. She was... truly something and I was too messed up to see it).

>>560523397
I know how you feel. Wanted to make vidya since I was 6. Realizing now before a uni transfer that I can't even manage using vectors as function arguments without fiddling for hours makes me think it's over.

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>>560525119
5/8

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>>560525192
6/8

>>560524475
No, I think I still regret failing.

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>>560525252
7/8

>>560510671
how do i kill something that already feels dead

>>560524465
I'm on a Python kick right now, but JS is another thing. JS is more relevant to my interests, but Python has better resources for learning and has a pretty logo (I care about things like that for some reason).

>>560525135
Same here, first and what seems like true love, atleast on my part. She saved me, so I just assume that has something to do with it as well, but she really was amazing, still is. Fucking talked for an hour after I congratulated her on her engagement, the convo was too easy to have, it took me back.

That's horrible to hear though anon, but it's good that you have someone wonderful now, though it will never erase the thoughts of 'what would have been' with the other.

>>560510546
Story time!
>be me and bro
>just talking like we usually do
>not really that close but like really good friends
>mom died when I was 13 and he was 16
>hit me really hard
>I was dick before but I when looking back I relised I was undoing all the good in the world that my mom did in her life
(yes I know corny)
>thought he got threw it really well because he actually talked to people about it
>granny died a few months later
>a few years later
>be me and him talking
>say, "Hey it's granny's birthday soon"
"yeah I know"
"You know mom's is still up?"
"Yes"
"I wish I knew-"
"Stop"
>and then I relised he hadn't done any better
>I wish I knew how to help us get over but I dont

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>>560525320
8/8

>>560520328
Dude...

>>560525559
That's rough. Keep communications open.

>>560525559
I'm so sorry, that's fucking heart breaking because that's what my brohter and I went through, only it was with my dad's passing. I was a horrible kid, but when he died I changed.

MY brother's 2 year anni of his passing is in oct, he had to be the man of the house, and it killed him, I wish I could've helped him I really do.

You need to let him know that even though you're the younger brother, that you're there for him always, anytime....and tell him you love him anon, tell him you love him, cause I couldn't tell my brother at the end, he was in a coma, and it hurt seeing him, almost the same exact way our dad was, ding from the ssamething,.

>>560510546
what's the matter?

I am so alone. All i want is someone to fall back on, someone to talk to when things get tough, and someone I can have feelings for and know they feel the same way. Still a virgin and dont know what the fuck im doing. I dont even feel human anymore

>>560526058
His arms are obviously too short, can't you tell?

>>560525954
Shit mate, I'm sorry

Can someone post the comic where it's some guys birthday and he's all alone and in the end he opens a present which is a noose and says "it's what I always wanted!" And he hangs himself

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>>560526414

>>560512607

>i have this much relatives and friends

>>560519856
Evoking the patronus charm involved holding your happiest memory in your mind whilst casting. After his brothers death, there were no memories left that didn't rip his heart out simply thinking about them.

>>560526373
Ty, I was too late, and yet in away I could never help truly help him, it was his father after all, my step dad. I kept trying though, he never opened up completely to me, felt he had to be 'the man' you know.

But it isn't about me...just let him know that anon, let him know you're there, that you love him, and you'll listen to whatever he has to say.

>>560514740
Wow that hit me so hard.

>>560526535
Thanks anon couldn't find it

>>560513002
very ambient but it says nothing to me about my life.

>>560526778
No sweat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qP6JDLQF23g

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>>560525557
Yeah...

I eventually got over my ex-wife because I could vilify her. She did -me- wrong. I was there for her and I loved her. I gave her everything should could have wanted and she spat on it.

That next girl though? That was all me. She wanted to be with me. She was willing to work through me "wanting something casual" because I couldn't handle a relationship. She cried the first time I slept with someone else. She kept inviting me to do things even after I stopped responding (because, looking back, I just got too close too fast. I was rejecting everything that my ex-wife embodied, including being a good partner).

In the end, she was heartbroken. Lost almost 40lbs because she was depressed (she was kinda chubby before.... not at all after).

I dated other women. never for longer than a month or two.

had my own one night stands. Dated blues singers and sculptors. Scientists and entrepreneurs.

It wasn't until I'd been through 6-7 women that I began to realize that things never lasted because they were missing things she had... things my ex-wife hadn't even had.

My girlfriend now... has them. Kinda.

I've never been able to tell any friends or family but... comparing my current girl to the "one that got away"?

>Current girlfriend is better on paper. Better job. More similar hobbies. Super funny and smart.

>One that got away just lit some ephemeral fire in me that cannot be described. She made me want to live life. Made me want to just set everything down and -run-.

We go drinking sometimes, and when I lay awake at night, still kinda drunk, I wonder which one of those things means more. Being the "logical choice"... or "having that fire".

>>560525559
Fuck me one second
(I got a message from Facebook about granny's birthday)
"You know mom's Facebook account is still up."

>>560515332
>be at 3
>have a good life
>have good family and friends
>still want to kill myself

Bump
Might post my own personal story

>>560526986
My father died when I was 13.

My younger brother got a cat.

My older brother got a bunch of cocaine.

I... have still never really talked about it. I have a picture on my bookshelf of him holding me as a baby, but I can't even remember what his voice sounded like anymore. All I have is that picture, and a cassette tape of the Beach Boys that he used to play every time her drove me somewhere.

>>560515301

>you are no longer rested

>>560515478
holy shit post of the year

>>560526929
The fact that you still have those thoughts seems to point to the having that fire...or atleast not being able to give it a chance.

That really is rough man, not just for you, but for her too. It wasn't completely your fault I mean you were still trying to get past the feelings of your ex, but it is still shitty that it had to happen like that. I'm sorry man.

It's always easier to opne up to strangers, I do it all the time, if I opened up to friends and family...I'm not sure what would happen, but it wouldn't be understanding and kind.

>>560522405
the best part is that you are posting this, making sure he isn't forgotten. Now a days everyone who has ever been in a feel thread knows this guy and even if its not the exact group of people that he would have wanted to remember him he is still remembered for this. Dude was a fucking badass

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_EKG0K4qCs

Nostalgia for what I can't repair
When life didn't come this crude
I'm still homesick for nowhere
Condemned wanderer of solitude.

Transcending into the depths of mourn

(Quote from the sovietic-filmmaker Andrei Tarkovsky:

"Nostalgia is a feeling throughout. Stated another way, we feel nostalgia even dwelling in our own country, beside the ones that are dearest to us. Despite a happy home and a happy family, a man may suffer from nostalgia, simply because he feels that his soul is being limited, that it does not develop as he wishes. Nostalgia is feeling powerless before the world, the pain of not being able to convey their spirituality to others.”)

Grief of a wounded soldier, forlorn
Can't stand another year of silence

>>560526986
My brother didn't have a fb he hated it. I can't go on there like I used to anymore, so many pics that bring on so many feels and memories it's just hard.

He had a myspace though, I remember going on there after he passed, it was more painful than fb is now, know who is 1st in his top 8 was? Yeah his little brother, I had him at top spot too, it tore me to shreds.

I'm sorry, I can't stay or any longer. I need to go t sleep and think about how to approach the situation between me and my brother. Have a good night guys.

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You sad fucking cunts are gonna make me kill myself one of these days I swar on me mum

>>560528320
Have a good nights rest anon /b/ro, hope tomorrow is better than today.

Also no matter how he reacts at first, just let him know you're there for him, and tell him you love him. You wont regret telling him that, goodnight.

>>560528324
U fuckin wot m8, I'll hug you, I swar on me mum

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>>560527645
It's the not knowing.

For all I know dating her could go downhill as soon as the "infatuation" phase ends. Who knows. But she was brilliant and funny and beautiful. Sure she was more of an adult than I am (I still get monthly comics, and she always kept up to date on political stuff), but... she just resonated with me like no one I've ever met. It's really hard to describe, but she just... put energy -into me-.

I still blame myself. 100%. If I had given up on my ex-wife sooner. If I had never married her. Seen that things were going wrong sooner. If I had learned to deal with it better. If I had trusted my gut (despite it having led me astray with my exwife)... She is one of the best people I've ever met, and I brought her nothing but pain.

In the end, I moved away. 3 states. She has a new boyfriend now, and I don't talk to anyone in that friend group. I'm sure she's happy, but...

I used to describe my life as being a clock. That my ex-wife was a core gear, and that when it was taken out everything else stopped working. That I had to figure out how to rearrange everything so that it would work again.

Everything finally works. Keeps time pretty well. But every so often, the second hand misses a beat because I haven't been able to really replace the cog I didn't appreciate.

Stop fucking copy pasting the same shit over and over again. you pathetic fucking retards.

>Be me
>Be 16
>Small town, kinda hard on cash because of the recession
>Know the Town funeral director
>He has to cut the digging machine out of his budget
>He hires me to dig graves
>Be a year later
>Digging one night at around 2-3 AM
>Company has a 'No digging at daytime' policy
>Drunk nig nogs from school shambling around
>Wandering around kicking gravestones and shit
>Start picking at me
>Try to ignore them
>They beat the fuck out of me and stole some of my stuff for no reason
>Went home, figured I'd go to the police atation the next day
>At school
>'AY YO NIG. IT DAT CREEPY CRACKA FROM DA GRAVEYARD AN SHIT YO.'
>It sounded as exaggerated as I wrote it
>Niggish insults, threats to beat the fuck out of me again blah blah blah
>Started a rumor that I fuck dead bodies
>Tfw girls avoided me for the rest if highschool
>Tfw everyone thought I was digging up the grave
>Tfw Niggers broke my shovel
>Got the nick name Gravedigger
>'Graves' for short
>tfw People still call me graves
>tfw I call myself graves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELmT7JjOIxs

Grey visions of today
Every sight I see the same
I can not break free
I think I'm gone
As though I never wake
Always drawn into descent
And my hope decays, just out of reach

Cursed through life and condemned to misery
To be left with nothing...

If only for a moment; a way out
To see the faintest glimmer amongst the dark
To mend the broken dawn so bleak
Somehow I think I'm gone

But like ashes to the wind i will fade
Nameless and forgotten
The thorn upon the withered rose
Somehow I always knew...

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>>560528823
Is that you?

>>560528823
I wish I had a nickname

>>560529096
You do, anon.

>>560529050
I don't get the reference

>>560528823
That is a bad ass nickname actually.

>>560529217
Ahh, sorry, didn't mean to shit on your tale. I thought it would get a chuckle or two

>>560528823
Before I go to bed, because saw this and read it, my nicknames are, cripple, crips, cripple faggot, Russia (more of an inside joke), sloth, and slothzilla (my screen name)

>>560528823
You should kill those niggers, btw. Don't take any shit from some shitskins when you're trying to earn a living doing honest work.

>>560529336
It's k
I just don't get it

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>>mfw this thread just made me take a tiny spider outside instead of killing it.
>>mfw i actually told this thing it wouldnt find anything to eat inside, and would be better off out there.
>>mfw everyrthing deserves a chance to live.

>>560528727
Sounds very similar to the woman I am still madly in love with, but just have no chance with. She too put energy in me...hell she gave me life when I was running on empty. She was beautiful inside and out, so kind and genuinely caring, still is. You don't need to explain how she made you feel to me, because i understand.

God that's heartbreaking, and yet is such a great way to put it. I'm not sure she full y understands of course, but she has to know that it wasn't that she wasn't an amazing person, it's just that you were broken at the time. So you lashed out in a way, a way that harmed her, but you didn't mean it. Even though you will still blame yourself, it wasn't really all your fault, and how could you have known sooner about your ex wife? How could you have fixed yourself sooner? You couldn't have done that.

It sucks that you have the what if thing going on about the one the got away. Like you said it could've gone all to hell after the first stage, but what if. I know how you feel, and I'm sorry you how that ended for you.

>>560529541
its from leage of legends

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OC
My heart hurts

>>560518042
HE FUCKING MARRIED ROBIN

>>560529096
I'll give you a nickname anon, what do you like to do?

>>560529959
the fuck

>>560530117
Oh boy, I like Vidyas, Im pretty darn good at making tacos/burritos, I sleep quite a bit too. thats pretty much all I do sleep, gaymin and work

in a month i go to jail for six months because the love of my life stopped taking her medication after the girls she worked with convinced her that i was the problem and she "wasn't crazy"

she aborted my unborn child soon after.

I began to drink. I took them blame for her on a few charges even.

i lost my car, my ferrets (two cinnamons, albino, and a chocolate.) and my cat. tommy.

I worked every day to make her smile so she would feel like a "normal person"

she told people i raped her.

now i cry myself to sleep every night because i have heard that she has lost three jobs since then, is effectively homeless, and now cannot find a boyfriend after people saw how bad her mental problems can get un-medicated.

i work in fast food now since my accreditation is meaningless in a state where she tarnished my name plus the charges.

>i love you, wherever you are.

>>560529959
i hope you are the blue there

>>560529176
This post made me very happy, I like you

>>560529990
In the end yes, but it's the time in between that kills us. The thing is for me, there wont be a time in between, she wont ever get back together with me and I know it and yet, I still hope.

>>560529959

you should find a girl who is capable of spelling out her words and doesn't get mad at you about things you are feeling

>>560529959
You did the right thing anon, she only cares about herself. Sorry about your loss, nothing but time will stop the pain, so tive it time

>>560530556
yeah

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>>560529585
I get that a lot. "You couldn't possibly have known that your ex wife wouldn't work".

Except everyone else saw it. I learned after the fact that no one really liked her. I'm just too damn stubborn. We weren't happy, and I knew it, but I thought it was a phase. I thought I could -fix- it. We'd been happy for years, but I didn't understand that that was when we were kids.

When we grew up? We weren't compatible as adults.

I just hate that I had to learn all of this just too late.

The worst part is though. Like, the absolute worst. Is that I totally love the woman I'm with now. She really is smarter. -funnier- (that's the deal maker). She may not actually be as physically attractive, but she loves me more. She's more thoughtful and generous.

The only thing she doesn't have is...

With the one that got away... we had a picnic one time. Met her one day we both had off work and she had a huuuge back yard. Just made some lunch and laid in the sun for -hours-. Just talking and... being with each other.

My current girlfriend? We cuddle and shit, but like... everything is more muted. I love her, but it's in duller tones...

I hate not being able to articulate this stuff even to myself.

>pic related. The way I loved them can be equated to the color pallet in each of those games. One may have better graphics and be a better game, but the other just... pops out at you. DEMANDS your attention and you're lost in it without even realizing it.

Thanks for talking anon. I don't bring this shit up often.

Like I said, /b/ helped me out right after my divorce. Made a baww thread that night after I got home from the court house. It's good to know you're always here for me /b/. Never change.

>>560530439
Ok, you can be any of the following; Dreamer, Taco King, Burritomeister, The Vidya Bandit, Mexi-chan or Sleepy Conquistador.

choose wisely, for it will be forever your secret internet nickname.

>>560530797
well then congrats on leaving that fucking piece of shit

>>560530649
yeah. this has gone for a while. glad it has stopped i suppose

>>560530684
hopefully thats soon

>>560531016
You all drown in your own shit pits. Get some wisdom bitches.

>>560530873

in the brighter picture the clouds look like storm clouds in the distance, the graphics are low quality but use bright, superficial colours to cover up the flaws

there is no focal point, it's hard to see which car is the most important car; your car.

the duller picture has quality graphics and better rendering, the clouds reflect that of a passing storm and sunlight is peeking through, providing the promise of a brighter, quality future. the camera is focused on the most important car; your car.

the road is long, the first cut is always the deepest, but you will pull through and heal.

i'm rooting for you, anon.

>>560531170
...damn man...
Got me.

>>560530873
I knew exactly what you meant by the duller tones, I didn't even look at the pic when I thought 'things just popped more'.

And you may hear it alot, and looking back NOW you understand things differently, but at the time you loved your ex wife, and you wanted to make things work...just too involved and too close to it to notice the wrongs is all.

I get it though, I too carry around a lot of guilt of things that were out of my control, I don't want to sound like a douche, but it's because I know my own intelligence. I should have been able to see it at t he time you know? I'm sure you know. You seem so much like myself.

And yeah I come to b to fucking vent, have been for like the past fucking week it helps, it really does. I'm usually lurking in these threads if not always commenting. It helps me purge, and I need that, sometimes I need it a lot.

Thank you for talking as well, it's crazy that I share so much with my anon bros that I can't with anyone else...you'd never expect to find kindness or understanding here it's shocking, and yet happens all the time.

>>560514128
Happened to me. I always kinda wondered why my father didn't want me. Sometimes I wonder if he ever thinks of me and my sis. I'm kinda old (28) now and I know he is still alive ... I haven't heard from him in over 15 years.

I don't know why I feel the need to know why he never tried to contact us or know why he didn't love us or care about us...

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>>560531931
>>560531743

haha, sorry if the picture wasn't great. As I said, articulating exactly how it feels isn't easy. The clock analogy always makes the most sense to me.
>Current girlfriend is an incredibly well made gear
>One that got away just happened to be of a size and shape that couldn't be replaced.

I'm heading to sleep. Best of luck anons. Perhaps we'll meet again some day in another baww thread.

>>560517263
It made it better. You can be sure of that.

>>560531993
I understand, all too well I understand. I stopped talking to my bio dad the day my step dad died. Been over 10 years.

I have nephews who's father is a giant piece of shit, abandoned them made a new family. My brother and I helped raise them before he passed, now it's just me...I am their father figure? I try my best, I hope they never feel that feel that you and I do...and that scene brings to the surface.

Cause I love them, I want them...I'll always be there for them

>>560528776
We are all fucking retards

>>560532449
The pic made sense to me, because your words did first, because I know what you meant. Again sorry for your what ifs, she sounds amazing. But so does your wife. Thinking of the what if does not mean you don't think your wife is great or amazing...it's like you said, something that couldn't be replaced.

Good anon bro, hope your tomorrow is good. And yeah I'll be around, cause like I said, it gives me the outlet to vent, to purge...to be able to buck up and start all over again.

It was good talking to you thank you, and goodnight

>>560512607
This hit too close to home.
I have been depressed for a couple of years and even suicidal at times.
The day I realized what I would have done to my family was the day I came home early and had to cut my father from noose.
I CPRd him and luckily he survived. Until that day it never crossed my mind how it would feel like to lose a family member. I still have nightmares at least once a month, where I try to revive him but fail.

Although it didn't cure my depression (completely) I will never ever think about taking my own life again.

>>560517937
Sounds like she threw herself down the stairs or something if nobody did that to her. Strange

>>560532604
It will happen eventually but at least they have support and you can do what you can to be there for them. That helps. I can't say I really had too many strong role models especially male. Just sucks not knowing who the other half of your family is... Especially since I'm half Mexican and people look at me like I'm supposed to know spanish and know about Latino culture.

The most fucked up part is I have some family from my dad's side that lives in this country... Same town I live in and everything and they pretty much just ignore me. We have the same interests and everything and we don't hang out or talk or anything :/

It's good that your nephews have you. I know it sucks growing up without guidance. Just stay in their life and be there for them cause no one else probably will.

>>560528823
That's pretty fucked up but at least you got a cool nickname out of it. Wish I was there to protect you :/
That sounds pretty awful.

>>560527432
Deep /b/ro

>>560533605
I will do my best, even though I myself am not the best role model, I will do my best, thank you anon.

I see hurt in them, I do my best to not let it eat at em, when it does eventually happen, I will be there for them. I'll make sure they damn know that I love them, and not just me everyone else in our family do.

That sucks, I know you want to connect with your other family. But sometimes, it's for the best maybe you don't, even though it doesn't seem like it now. It does suck and I'm sorry, maybe one day huh? Also, I like you, am an older lol 27, crazy how similar two strangers stories can be...and on here

>>560519231
I don't like that JK said this. Part of having a great loss like that is learning to cherish the good times he had. George has a great family around him. He should be more resilient.

>>560512607
Except I wouldn't witness the few people feeling bad because I would be dead.

>>560533372
shit...good story.

>>560534413
You'd think so. But sometimes resilience just isn't enough man. Sometimes the memories of your 'teammate' takes away that resilience with no effort at all.

Yes you may be happy, but truly, utterly and fully happy again? The heart just doesn't work that way.

>>560525568
holy shit man. I cant tell if that made or ruined my day.

>>560534732
although that's true it doesn't change the fact that you caused immense hurt in the life of others and are therefore responsible, even if it doesn't concern you anymore.

I was thinking like you, that it's my fucking decision and whatever comes after is not my problem anymore. As I posted earlier it changed when my father tried to kill himself. You can't imagine what you do to your family if you off yourself.

>>560534379
What would you want to say to your father if you ever met him? How do you feel towards him or how do you feel when you think of him?

I always get mixed emotions but I the one that comes up the most is the feeling that I'm missing something. Like a huge chunk of my history is gone or like I missed out in something, Like there is this club that everyone was invited to except me. Then I usually feel alot of anger towards him for leaving us and abandoning me.


And I guess the only reason why I want to connect with my other family cause it feels like I'm supposed to. Like I'm supposed to be Mexican but I don't know anything about them. What really got me was when I coincidentally ended up at one of my Mexican cousins weddings.

So many feels that day :/ seeing all these traditions and "family" I didn't even know, that didn't know me :/.

And yea i bet alot of people here have alot in common. Just people are too busy being bastards to each other to realize it.

>>560523837
Fuck. Depression and anxiety summed up in 4 sentences.

>>560533268

If this was a "you cry, you loose" thread I just lost.

>>560535890
Let it all out man, feels good man.
Also dads are the best.

>>560525568
jesus shit that got me good

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i am very very very i love with my best friend

he is the best person that has ever happened to me and i am screwing it up so hard

i hate myself holy fuck i hate myself and my drinking and my fucking everything

i know that everything wont magically be fixed if he's in my life but i just, i want to be with him so fucking bad.

fuck. you are the only person i love.

>>560535793
If he confronted me, asked me why i don't talk to or see him I'd let him know. I'd let him know that he was my father, that he should have loved me, as all fathers should do to their kids. That he shouldn't have beat me humiliated me, or the worse thing of all turn me against my step dad, who I consider my real father, who had absolutely had no reason to love me, but did with all his heart.And the only thing I could give back was anger and hate. Because of what one man did to me, because one man didn't teach me how to accept or feel loved. I drove away the one father that did love me, love me like his own. And that when I finally realized it, it was far too late, I'd tell him that, and that I hated him, because he manipulated me, and played a cruel fucking game with his own childs life, one that can't be repented, one that fills his own flesh and blood with crippling guilt depression and anxiety.

I'd tell him he wasn't and still isn't my father, that my father died, over 10 years ago, and that I love my step dad and not him.

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>>560535890
Dude I hadn't cried like this in literally years. Was making the ugly cry faces, wiping sweat and shitton of tears with already wet t-shirt, banging headache, snot-filled nose, close to throwing up.. last time this went down was when grandpa passed away

expected dicks /b/, expected dicks...

>>560521582
>Canadian suicide

>>560535793
I'm sorry I completely went off without even acknowledging your words.

I do understand though, the missing of family, I have family from his side that I don't see all too often. See em on fb as a family, wondering how they'd feel about me.

The traditions of family are very important to mexicans man, take it from me, big ole beaner here. So I can tell you're really hurting over the fact that you're missing out on those things.

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Happened to me earlier in the night can't sleep

>46 friends on steam
>0 IRL

If it vasn't for vidya, I wouldn't be here

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>>560537148

>>560537148
now thats hysterical

>>560521180
is this an "in the air tonight" joke?

>>560536667
man I know that feel. Had a girl that was the awesomest bro ever with me. First time feeling loved as who I am, not trying to "wear a mask" all the time and I started becoming more outgoing. Unfortunately I fell deeply in love with her - problem she's homosex. It took years to get over her but ultimately it was the best for both of us to drift appart and go our seperate ways. I still think about her nowandthen and on somedays miss her really much.

>>560537248
dude, explanation? backstory? something?

>>560524849
Fuckin' liar.

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>>560510546
nigger detected

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>>560537347
>mfw

>mfw have steadily worsening depression
>one night my dad drunkenly confides in me
>says that he loves me the most out of my siblings (who all treat him like dirt)
>says that he'd have no reason to live without me
I don't know if I can keep going /b/, and I've only made it this far because I don't want to hurt my dad.

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>>560537374
Look at the picture one more time, and think about it.

>>560537248
I am going through something similar but a lot worse.

I'm not much of a story teller, but I do remember a lot of sad events that happened in my life which I can't really forget about.

>lost my big sister when I was 8 due to suicide (leaving me an only child)
>had to abandon all of my childhood friends and move to a new state when I was 12
>parents get divorced (meh)
>lost my best friend in middle school because he got hit by a car while helping a stranded motorist
>lost my favorite boss from work due to suicide (after he told me to live my life to the fullest)
>best friend who I knew for 3 years stopped talking to me and wouldn't tell me why

etc.

>>560537448
Ok so basically I met her threw a friend at a party about 2 months ago. Started talking hanging out and even fuck a few times (friends with benefits). Eventually she tells me she has feelings for me and I confess feelings for her. Only problem is there's this other guy that controls her and she hates it but she always runs back to him(the other guy is ian). So tonight she decided that she couldn't be with me because the other guy was threatening to leave her if she went with me. She knew she was hurting me so she decided to leave me so she can't hurt me anymore

>>560537248
fucking retard with your smileys, are you 12?

>>560538026
Actually I'm 13 kek

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>>560529959
What a cunt...

>>560537773
Please do share

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>>560538265

pussy thread