>>559446751

There is more to this story if anyone is interested

>>559447193
Yes

>>559447193

sure

>>559447247
No

>>559447525
Maybe

>>559447632
Yes pls

>>559446751
Cont.

>Mom comes in to check on us
>Open the door
>Get on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur

>>559447193
bring it on. i'll share mine.

>>559447910
Nice try fgt

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>>559447247

Ok so even though it's fuckin gross that my aging dead (an early retiree who was always basically a machine of work-eat-sleep as far as I was concerned) is into hentai, I couldn't help but be intrigued. This brings us to yesterday.

>Dad heads out w/mom to go shopping or some shit
>leaves his laptop unattended
>I boot it up
>like a fucking idiot he doesn't understand the concept of deleting history
>there is literally months and months of it, since the laptop was bought
>mfw I realise that I can chart his spiral into a hentai fag
>start with the immediate time after he bought laptop
>barely used the computer
>full of searches like 'coffee shop in......' and 'Stieg Lahrrsson [sic] cancer (?)'
>funniest is probably just 'nude women'. Like a 5 year old would search

>>559447910
Almost had me, asshole.

>>559448021
Redirect him to fakku and tell him he has good taste in porn

>>559448021
so your daddy likes hentai eh?
wuts rong wi dat?

>>559448021

Continued

>Skipping on in the dates, he's fucking around on terrible adware-laden sites, shit that no seasoned porn vet would be caught browsing
>at some point he discovers xvideos, pornhub etc.
>probably b/c of the default categories they have on tube sites, he gets more adventurous
>lots and LOTS of wincest, esp. dad/daughter.
>fucking tonnes of anal creampie vids as well
>in keeping with his conservatism, absolutely no interracial stuff is browsed
>the 'I see black = I click back' policy is in full effect
>now at some point in december of last year, he stumbled into the 'cartoon' section of pornhub

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>>559448512
Jesus, more OP.

Fucking hilarious.

You should introduce him to pic related if he hasn't fallen this far yet.

get him here OP

>>559448512

Continued

>first vid in hentai section is some generic domination vid, 'patient screwed.' I've seen it myself years ago.
>there were many domination and brutality vids back in the '3DPD' days as well actually, which makes me deeply uncomfortable about the fact that he keeps his golf clubs in the master bedroom
>lots more of this shit, generic vids usually quite vanilla but rapey in the way that like 99% of hentai is anyway
>then at some point, the uncomfortable reality of being a porn vet sinks in
>desensitisation
>It's clear that the vanilla shit just isn't doing it for him anymore
>up to a few months ago there are large blank periods of just generic internet use, netflix and such.
>he was attempting a no-fap, or so I thought
>turns out he must have been just saving it up with no-fap days, to have better faps
>then, at some point in like april, he watched his first monster rape gangbang

>>559448831
>As soon as you watch hentai it's a downward slope

>>559448831
>So guys my dad recently discovered hentai and its weird and gross

>HEY, YOU SHOULD MAKE HIM INTO A PEDO, TOO

This is fucking great. Please, keep going.

>>559449337

>The vid in question is called 'Yuko female warrior'. It's a 3D vid of some girl getting tied up and raped by monsters
>This must have tickled his hnnnnngh factor
>consecutive days follow in which this vid is rewatched
>fucking tonnes more follow. He quickly exhausts Pornhub's meagre selection
>starts trawling the web again, tonnes of adware/spyware and popup sites
>at the very least he isn't paying for shit
>but then, what's this we see? Fucking Kuroinu Kedakaki, the gold standard of dick = diamond monster gangrape cumbath mind break dark elf hentai that /h/ blew its collective load to last year
>ep 1 watched and revisited like 5 days in a row
>ep 2 not even finished; at least his tastes aren't in question
>at some point he makes the transition from vids to pics. Lots of stuff from luscious, and somehow booru sites as well
>this leads to e-hentai, which quickly - if you're into some of the expunged hardcore niche shit like my dad - turns into fucking exhentai
>but he can't bypass sadpanda
>so he thinks, like a cheeky teenager, that his new string of fetishes is somehow unique

>>559449705
Kek
keep on keeping on op

>>559449359
I'm a prime example of this.

I started out watching hentai for lulz.

Then, for fapping to cowtits.

Now, I love dat DFC. That and traps.

Hentai turned me into a faggot.

Not complaining, though.

>>559447193
Of Course

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>Mom has chrome on laptop
>Uses Bing as default search engine

>>559449982

>so before I knew all of this dark shit, I helped him get past sadpanda using EditThisCookie.
>there's too many steps for him so I basically have to do the whole thing including logging him into an e-hentai account
>'Dad, erm, to get onto this movie site you have to make an account. It's free but you need a username and password'
>ok fine
>puts his name as username, first and last
>'err. Dad. probably best to use like a pseudonym'
>'why anon it's just a movie site like Netflix'
>fucking pokerface/10 nice job Dad
>I persuade him to pick a handle anyway
>he chooses some golf related pseudonym that makes me lose my shit
>get him onto Exhentai
>'great, thanks anon got to go now' *quickly closes laptop and ushers me out*
>thinks he's gotten away with it

So now the question is, what is it that he's so eager to get onto ExHentai for, willing to risk getting fucking caught red handed?

>Mum's complaining about computer being slow
>It's just bad
>Press ctrl+shift+esc to get task manager
>"Does that make it go faster"

>Got a message from the hospital on the house phone
>"something something, press # to continue"
>Presses #
>"I do not recognise that command"
>Mum it's a message not a phone call

These were like 2 weeks ago, hearty laughs were had

>>559450651
Cont.

>Dad is now into really into gangbangs/abuse/rapes, etc
>Most of the time he watches those kinda stuffs
>I can barely sleep in peace anymore now
>One night i can't sleep at all
>My door suddenly opens slowly
>It was my dad...
>"Dad what..."
>He runs up to me and taped my mouth
>He starts anal fucking me
>"Dad is life dad is love"
>mfw

>>559450651
This collection of super hot rape Loli hentai

>>559450651
Great story, you need to keep us updated. You should visit your father more often.

Your dad sounds cool as fuck, hope you didn't ruin his adventures. I would've pointed him in the right direction

>>559450651

>the exhentai fap was the mother of faps, because it was a fap that had been hindered by the cruel blockade of the sadpanda
>it's one of those game cgs that take up like 5000 pages because every single frame of the CG is dumped
>magnificently fucked up, features futa, tentacles, cumbath, futa, fucking everything a growing boy needs
>also for some reason a bunch of stuff by artists readily available on like rule34 and e-hentai, like Dmitry and DMXWoops

My complete violation of his privacy has led me to realise that unfettered access to porn might seem awesome, but inevitably leads to dissatisfaction. He was like an amerifat in candyland for the first while, searching for 'big boobs women' and 'blindfold sex blowjob', but soon that just wasn't enough. Once he'd seen what the internet could offer, he was ruined forever.

I d/l malwarebytes and uninstalled the shitty Norton default protection. I just gave him Avast. After some scans there were like 50 red flags, which I sorted. I also CCleaned the laptop and did some general maintenance to make it less shit, like delete some of the fucking Pornhub pages he'd accidentally bookmarked. Don't worry though - I reset him up so that he could bypass Sadpanda.

I love my dad. If your dad is still around anon, know that he's totally an anon on the inside, even if he's too tech impaired to realise it or doesn't know it yet.

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>>559451439
You're the kind of son every man should have anon.

>2 years ago
>Mom thinks she's some sort of fucking computer expert because she can download pictures onto the web
>Claims to know http or something
>ask her to tell me how bla bla bla because 17 years old with no job gotta suck up for money.
>She does pet rescue or something
>Brings me in to download pics of dogs onto a computer
>Surprise surprise, the moment the flash drive doesn't automatically open up when she puts it in, she goes ahead and complains
>"It's broken!" She cried unto the staff.
>"All my hard work!"
>Literally walk up to the computer, put the thing in, and open like 4 folders.
>"Thanks anon, I'll make sure to use you as tech support!"
>Yeah go ahead do that.
I'm not proficient on computer usage and shit, these things are just common knowledge right?

>>559451439
You're a good son, OP.

And you make okay threads.

I hope I can have a son like you, someday.

One of the most heart warming stories here on /b/

>>559451803
i feel like a lot of people think computers actually think through the stuff they do, and try and explain when stuff does/doesn't work with human logic. My dad tried to get me to uninstall various games i had on the computer because it was "making it slower".
The blasted thing was going slower because retard he was, had installed about 5 different background programs, nothing harmful, just shit that sits there like anti-virus, Itunes, his stupid camera upload program.
I just went through all the start-up programs stopped 70% of them and removed the games from the desktop. Comp runs faster and he thanks me for deleting some stuff he knew i enjoyed. Worse thing about all this stuff is he works at a company that makes computer storage devices.

>>559451439
you are a total bro and i hope my kids turn out to be like you. it would be awesome that a son of mine would help me experience 7-D porn tech in the future.

Sooo in other words OP.... you get off on spying on your dad.

>>559453201
>7-D porn

I can't even imagine what that'll entail, but I'm excited.

>>559453419
3D porn with sound, touch, taste, and smell stimulation. At least that's my guess.

>>559453419
You took the words from my mouth anon.

>>559453736
There is nothing in porn I want to taste or smell...

>>559454561
...yet. You will fall that low soon enough

>>559454561
What about her tears?

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>>559446751
>Be me, 10
>Older brother was a techie, taught me how to do more advanced shit on Win xp
>Dad would bring home old 98 computers from the college he worked at so I could take them apart and rebuild them
>Dad complains of viruses
>Check the old Sony Vaio
>Tons of Russian porn and spam
>System restore, run registry cleaner
>Install an anti-virus, good to go
>3 days later
>"Son, I have a virus again" Same exact shit
>Russian spam and porn
>Repeat
>Tell him to stop going on those websites because the Russians are cunts
>Same shit 3 days later
>Fix it
>Think, fuck it, he isn't going to learn
>Actually hide the laptop from him and tell him straight up "Until you learn to not go on Russian websites, you're not using the computer"
>Grounds my ass for a week
>I don't give a fuck
>I just parented my parent
>mfw

>>559454639
Get out of my mind...

>>559454721
As delicious as they may be, I'm worried about having my joy interrupted by the sudden whiff of man-ass and vaginal leakage.

>work at a small town computer repair shop
>beta comes in with his mom and a laptop covered in MLP and Dr who stickers
>mom tells me it doesn't work after her son tried making it faster
>boot it up and greeted with a pony spread eagle fucking itself as a wallpaper
>bombarded by popups after 20 minutes of waiting
>tell them its some major spyware and virus issues and better off with a fresh windows install
>son starts getting pissy and says I am scamming and he will fix it
>they leave
>two days later they are back
>system won't load windows
>son admits he tried some hints from an online forum
>ask him like what hints?
>flat out says I was told to copy and paste this info into notepad and save it as a weird file
>he deleted system 32.........
>fix it and he cried in the lobby over "personal stuff" when his mom asked why
>they come back every few months with it infested with spyware and viruses

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>i hear the sounds of a mother growing frustrated.
>approach cautiously.
>ANON THE TEEVEE IS NOT WORKING.
red led on tv is off. must be unplugged.
>saunter over to the outlet and adjust plugs.
>ANON EES NO WORKEEN
led comes on, turn tv on. a second goes by.
>ANON WHAT YOU DO??
another second. tv boots up.
>walk away and keep playing Unreal.
>sounds of frustration intensify
>ohshit.jpg
>the fucking digital signal box thing the goverment gave out to spy on us is off still.
>go turn it on.
>she silently calms down and watches her tv.

Life with a menopausing woman.

>>559455084
Dude, you can turn off the nasty parts. This is tech, not magic

> Be me
> Living at home with mother
> She's completely technology-illiterate
> Curious about phones, wants one for convenience and photos of stuff she see while out
> Asks me about it, has a look in shops
> I buy her one, just a basic fliptop with a camera
> I give her the manual, tell her to read it
> Loses it the next day
> Phone just sits there on front door table for a few days
> Remind her to take it one day before she leaves, she refuses and tells me I need to show her how to use it
> I show her how to make a phone call
> "Press this button to open the phonebook, scroll, press green phone button to start call
> "Okay, thanks anon."
> Few days later, she complains that she tried to make a call in the supermarket, but the phone didn't work
> Get her to show me what she did
> She stares at the phone
> I give her instructions, point at the buttons
> Gets frustrated, asks me to do it
> I show her once more
> She says that she's got it now

> Few days later
> I hear the phone's low battery alert
> Plug it in, leave it in same place
> She doesn't take it that day
> Later tells me that she didn't know how to remove the charger

> Mother wants to take photos now
> That's kinda complicated
> Get a little frustrated myself
> Show her how
> Tell her to repeat what I did
> "Which button?"
> Show her
> She pauses
> Presses the screen
> *scream internally*

That was a month ago. I think she's actually got the hang of it now, she showed me some photos last week, and she's making phone calls too. She's doing pretty well. ^_^

>>559455497
I'm going to be old when all this stuff comes out. I need to practise not understanding it today!

>>559455671
NO! We are going to be awesome old people. We will learn this shit and own it. I cant wait to retire and get in a nursing home for massive uninterrupted gaming marathons. Preferably in VR

>>559455868
Can't I just plug myself into the Matrix and pretend I'm young again as I explore fantastic lands and bed many fine wenches /tg/-stylie?

>>559455537
>flip open
>Presses screen
EVERY FUCKING TIME.

>>559456078
We can hope. However I'm thinking we'll only be at SAO tech by the time I retire.

While I tried to be as bro-like as possible to my dad, it makes me wonder about his sex life more than I'd care to admit. I'm currently single but in past relationships my porn habits were 100% divorced from IRL; not quite Freudian repression levels but just never the same in my head.

I wonder if the internet severs some kind of connection b/t the two, like when I used to sneak occasional cheeky searches for porn in or, fuck, look at actual physical media even the most vanilla shit would get me off.

>>559454475
You took the taste out of mine

I cant post an expanded version of the story since i'm on mobile, but my grandmother believes that screensaver/wallpaper PROGRAMS are harmless and dont slow down the computer because "theyre just wallpapers"

Shes been through 4 computers in 4 years because they "keep getting slow"

>>559457058
Howso?

>>559457109
Microsofts wet dream

>>559455030
>>I just parented my parent
ackchuarry kek'd

>2011
>sister got her new laptop
>decides to download music
>looks up ways to download music
>Free YouTube Downloader
>I'm living in germany so the copyright law is ridiculous
>there is no music on YouTube in germany because every video containing copyrighted stuff automatically gets blocked
>she realizes she needs something else to download her music
>finds TPB
>downloads uTorrent
>downloads Rihanna album and other shitty music
>ffw 3 months
>got sued
>1709€ = $2.4K
>she blames it on me claiming she doesn't even know how to download pictures
>parents buy it
>I have to pay
>family is really poor
>I don't have any money to spare
>parents had to sell a fucking car

>>559458408
I've been downloading things off of TPB and YouTube for years and never got in trouble for it.

How'd the Gestapo get you?

>work at a small town computer repair shop
>beta comes in with his mom and a laptop covered in MLP and Dr who stickers
>mom tells me it doesn't work after her son tried making it faster
>boot it up and greeted with a pony spread eagle fucking itself as a wallpaper
>bombarded by popups after 20 minutes of waiting
>tell them its some major spyware and virus issues and better off with a fresh windows install
>son starts getting pissy and says I am scamming and he will fix it
>they leave
>two days later they are back
>system won't load windows
>son admits he tried some hints from an online forum
>ask him like what hints?
>flat out says I was told to copy and paste this info into notepad and save it as a weird file
>he deleted system 32.........
>fix it and he cried in the lobby over "personal stuff" when his mom asked why
>they come back every few months with it infested with spyware and viruses

>>559458408
I'll rape your sister for you bro.

why didnt you make your sister get a fucking job and pay?

I once removed 6gigs of files from my dads desktop. Literally. He saved 6 gigs to his desktop. He only ha 8 gigs of ram and didnt understand why it got slower the longer he used it.

>>559459714
...Huh? What does him saving files to desktop have anything to do with ram?

>>559460118
the more shit you put on your desktop, the more it slows down on boot up and shut down.

>>559460118
Saving to the "desktop" uses the ram instead of the hard drive.

>>559460284
>>559460291
These guys pretty much explained it.

>>559459714
obvious b8

I actually once had to remove 50 gigs of logs from my pc, since I set my firewall to log everything without realizing that this leads to some pretty serious files.

>>559460284
>>559460291
Oh, you are just trolling. I see.

>>559460414
computer unliterate

>>559458408
Please tell me you somehow got her back for that. My justice boner needs this.

>>559458408

I've heard some horror stories about German copyright but seriously, what the fuck.

>>559460630
Yes you are. But that much was obvious.

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>>559460414
>browsing /b/
>tech illiteracy stories thread.
>awyiss.jpg
>some aspie asks why would having 6gigs of bs on the desktop slow the pc down.
>explain that it just fucking does.
>more shit for the computer to load up every time you look at the desktop or boot the thing up.
>calls me a troll
>mfw

>>559449982
Holy fuck. That's the same vid that got me started...

>>559455162
It is your DUTY to out him to his parents the next time he comes

Pls

>>559461552
Ha I think his mom knows as the first time I turned it on I said what the hell out loud and looked at her she just looked embarrassed

>>559462049
"White people you need to hit your kids"

>>559463193
Saw a black woman whoop the shit out of her husband when she found out her computer had spyware from porn

>>559464212
more stories from your job please

>>559451439
Same, I hope my son becomes as awesome as you are. I'd let you get away with so much shit if you were you little fuckin bro.

>>559466749
>robot having a son
wut

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Holy shit just remembered this now. When I was a kid I had a friend named Luke. Holy shit.

>Luke is beta as fuck fat kid
>loves swords and dragons
>has his room painted with dragons and shit on it
>parents lord over + shelter him like fuck
>one day over in his house
>in sitting room cabinet find a book - 'The Joy of Sex'
>some british book about sex, full of these weird black and white illustrations of people fucking
>he doesn't understand even though we're like 12 b/c he's so sheltered
>however he just knows that sex is something naughty and laughs uncontrollably
>starts screaming THE JOY OF SEX! THE JOY OF SEX! and laughing like crazy
>I'm deeply uncomfortable

Here's where it gets brilliant though

>Luke is still screaming about THE JOY OF SEX when he gets a really bright idea
>decides to scan and print some of the pics for himself so that he won't have to risk sneaking a look at the book again
>I go along like, whatever they're not my parents so it's not like anything will happen to us if they find out
>Luke's house printer is this piece of shit ancient lexmark thing, all chunky gray plastic with lurid stickers all over it
>barely fucking works
>decide to scan a pic where for some reason the guy's hairy ass is real prominent - idk maybe he was gay and just didn't know it
>he puts the book into the scanner and hits scan
>nothing happens
>keeps trying
>nothing happens
>he starts holding the lid open and slamming the book down thinking that it wasn't working idk b/c it's the book's fault or some shit
>eventually printer kicks into life
>starts scanning and printing fucking dozens of these pics
>panic.jpg
>parents eventually wander around to where we are and Luke almost has a fucking seizure
>replaces the book
>scrambles to hide all of the pages
>his parents find one
>lose their shit
>they know he did it because the fat shit scanned his hand by mistake and left a perfect match for his hand on some of the pages
>I'm banned from hanging out with him anyway
>mfw

>>559446751
> dad goes to google
> types url

>>559467242
>robot that gets loads of robot pussy

fixed that for ya.

It's an awkward process, but I like her.