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Bumping with tits

>>557994134
>doo doo everywhere.
I lol'd

>>557994630
nice bumps!

>work at cvs
>customers start asking if there's a sewage leak
>go to check out the bathroom
>shit smeared all over every surface: walls, sink, mirror
>rock/paper/scissors decides who cleans it up
the joys of mental health patients

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I got another one

>first week at new job
>entering prescriptions into the system
>manager on phone with white trash piece of shit
>complaining about how medicaid only paid for $399 of her $400 medicine
>says we cheated her out of a dollar
>after about 15 minutes manger gets pissed as fuck
>starts cussing her out
>"fuck you, you fucking piece of shit. Its fucks like you that will drive this world to shit"
>start smashing the phone on the counter
>holy fuck i love this job
>keep typing and pretend nothing happened
>manager looks around the pharmacy
>"pardon my french"
>he got fired

>work in coffee shop
>work in bad area
>be manager
>this girl comes in holding a syringe
>"give me the washroom key"
>"fuck you, get out"
>bitch pulls her pants down, and a mess of diarrhea is all over the floor
>tell the new girl on her first day mop it up
>shes crying

shit was so cash

>>557997271
All the based as fuck managers seem to always get fired

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>>557996148

I got similar one

>work at quiznos before pharmacy
>just got promoted to shift manager
>smells funny here
>it coming from the bathroom
>go check it out
>theres a shit filled underwear in the trash
>some of the shit is on the floor
>decide to abuse my new found authority and make coworker clean it

>At work one day
>Female coworker asks manager a question.
>Manager says yes.
>Girl: Thank you sir.
>Manager, excuse me? Thank you master.
>Girl: Thank you master.
She's half black.

>>557997718
Telling the plebs to do all the shit tasks. Best feeling ever

From my brothers POV.
>Talking to half black chick after work.
>It's closing time.
>Manager comes walking out.
>Wave.
>He waves back.
>Raise my fist, yell "White power!"
>Manager does the same, only louder,

>>557999996
So edgy

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>training new girl
>shes at the register
>has to give $10 change to customer
>starts looking confused as shit
>calls me over
>we are busy as fuck at this moment
>i leave a line of customers to see what she wants
>"i have to give her $10 but theres no 10s in the register"
>are you fucking kidding me?
>tell he to give him two fives
>"wait what?"
>how do some people dress themselves in the morning?

>>557999312

The best is when you know damn well what someone's name is, but only call them "You!" when telling them to do shit.

> Working at Cumberland Farms.
> We only have one bathroom. Very small store.
> Massive fat guy walks in, eating a big bag of skittles and swearing profusely.
> "I-I need to use your bathroom."
> As he's talking, he's spraying sweat, saliva and skittles chunks all over the counter.
> I give him a disgusted sneer and direct him to the bathroom.
> "THANKS!"
> Waddles to the back as fast as his stubs can allow.
> Continue stocking, cleaning etc.
> I look at the clock, and notice that the guy has been in the bathroom for 30 minutes.
> My manager goes to check on him.
> Just as manager approaches the door, the fat guy quickly bursts out, slams the door shut and hustles past my manager, completely avoiding eye contact.
> I notice his skittle bag is gone. I shrug it off and keep working.
> "OH MY FUCKING CHRIST." Screams my manager.
> I run over, and the sight was something that would probably make your eyeballs vomit.
> Fucking skittles ALL over the floor with a trail of watery shit leading to the toilet. Shit sprayed all over the back of the toilet and wall behind it. Toilet fucking clogged with shit, toilet paper, skittles ... and the bag of skittles.
> I quickly make up some bullshit excuse not to clean it.
> Manager forces the new guy to do it.

Fuck people man.The general public is fucking disgusting.
I'll never eat skittles again.

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old school tits

>>558000183
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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>>558001061
Mah nigga

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>Second job
>pizza delivery driver
>deliver pizza to 21 grove street
>get lost and deliver pizza five minutes late
>mfw all I had to do was follow the gps

moplz

>>558001782
2/10
all you had to do was follow the train

>Work at casino as ATM tech
>ATM's have a bill validator, for tickets and breaking 100's and shit
>get a call that "someone is stuck"
>get out there
>woman has inserted her players card into the slot, with the lanyard still attached to her purse
>she is freaking out
>omg i can't get off what the hell is this thing doing
>lanyard is made of plastic and a stretchy cord
>walk up to her, unclip lanyard
>she looks at me like I'm a genius
>tell her to go get another card at the card issuing counter
>spend next hour unfucking machine
Such is life.

>>557997271
that man did not deserve to get fired

>Working at pizza hut as delivery driver
>Be tonight
>Live in rural area so wide delivery range
>Get a delivery to outermost edge of zone
>It's an apartment complex, usually doesn't tip well.
>Get there
>Dude comes out on his porch in front of me
>Looks pissed but I walk up to him
>Sees me and looks relieved.
>Notice hes drunk.
>Talk to him and hes chill as hell.
>Gives me $4 and some whiskey.
>Has 2 ~10 year olds watching
>I thank him, leave, and laugh
Was a good night

>work in stop n shop deli
>man walks in
>sits down in produce
>get completely naked
>starts smoking crack
>manger walks up staring
>guy ties crack pipe to his dick
>guy is there for like 4 hours
>cops show up
>put cones around him

>different day
>6.5 black dude
>in magazine isle
>viciously jerking off to disney magazine
>fat black crazy manager walks up and flips her shit

>different day
>get out deli counter
>first customer
>guy orders honey ham
>starts pissing himself
>accepts honey ham
>aint no thang.jpg
>orders american cheese
>still pissing himself
>at this point a small puddle is forming
>accepts cheese and walks away

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>>557994134
>On ride along with a cop for fun (friend of a friend).
>Gas station clerk did a citzen's arrest and is requesting Police. No further information.
>We take the call.
>Gas station clerk is 6'6, 350 pound neck beard retard giant.
>Tells us teen-ass-hat skateboarder prick asked for a free lighter... and when denied, asked for the bathroom key.
>Apparently he suspected the kid would destroy the bathroom and was waiting for him when he came out.
>The cop made the kid clean up the shit-covered mirror and toilet seat without the benefit of the gas station's cleaning products.
>He told the kid it that if he did a good enough job he might let him go with a warning.
>Fifteen minutes later the gas station guy said it was good enough to reopen.
>I noticed the cop putting on his gloves...
>He arrested the kid anyway for something I don't remember, criminal mischief maybe?
>He told me a judge would almost certainly kick the charges, but that the kid would be in jail for 24 hours minimum given our busy they were at the time.
>He cried in the back of the cop car on the way to the jail.

>>558000752
>philadelpha
my niger

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>>558001782
>first job is supervisor at pet store
>man comes in tells me some of our seed killed his bird
>ask what kind of bird
>big white cockatoo
>takes more than seed to kill said bird, was probably sick
>ask him to take the bird for a necropsy to determin what happened
>I cant I buried it.
>well dig it back up
>its probably a skellington by now
>it died earlier today
>just leave man.

mfw he came back a few days after asking for a good toy for his cockatoo.

>work at hospital, deliver food to rooms
>delivering to room, same shit every time
>walk in to "contact precaution" room
>sanitizer, gloves, stop to say room service
>"hello"
>"hi"
>woman hits nurses call button
>nurse answers
>"hello, I need the violet stuff for my hands. I'm standing on holy ground and I can't let anyone else in"
>wtf.
>bring food in by this point, set on tray
>"thank you phillistine"
>you're welcome, have a nice night

I used to work at Menards.
One day, I had just gotten off of my break, I was called to the front office.
"Anon, do you have your phone on you?" The assistant front end manager asks me. (For those of you unfamiliar with working at Menards, so most of you, I could be fired for simply having my phone on me)
Well lucky me, I forgot it on me after my break.
"Yes ma'am, I forgot it on my person after my break."
"Were you texting?"
"No ma'am."
"Well, company protocal or whatever says we have to send you home for the night. We'll discuss it next time you work."
"Uhm... okay?"
>skip ahead to the next friday
I was invited to the cash room, and the store manager got to the point, asking me if I was texting.
Again, I denied doing so.
I was immediately called a liar, and was shown a screenshot of a facebook status I posted the same night I was sent home early.
It was sent from my phone.
"When did you do this?"
"On my break."
"You're lying again, we checked the status time and your clock in schedule, they don't match up with your break."
Pt 1/3

>>557999298
Was she hot, because that sounds like a damn fine opp for a dom/sub relationship.

>work at hospital as waitstaff
>bring menus and dinner meals to patients
>look like a 6'2" jacked Hagrid complete with insane beard
>I hated that job so I decided to see how long I could grow a beard before they told me they demanded I cut it because health reasons
>lol they never addressed it
>never had a bitchy patient complaining about anything
>nurses come to get me whenever somebody bitched about their meal
>other waiters did too but I suspected that was mostly because they were fucking lazy.
>quit after a while
>brother who works there says nurses there constantly talk about that gigantic fucker who kept people from bitching
>it may sound like I'm passing myself off as cool to some nurses but nurses are all either fat as fuck or skinny bird-like bitches.

>be me
>be nineteen
>work at mcdonald’s
>not best job but hey, whatever
>be working at register just before closing (this one closed at midnight)
>twenty-something year old white guy walks in
>dressed as a gangster: baggy jeans, b-ball jersey, doo-rag
>idontneedthis.jpg
>just walks into bathroom
>stays there for a half hour
>can’t close until he leaves
>comes out, gives me a thumbs up, leaves
>sigh as I have to go clean the bathroom now
>only me and my manager now
>walk into bathroom
>ohmyfuckinggod.png
>shit everywhere, smeared on walls, sprayed on toilet, rubbed into sink
>vomit on paper towel container
>piss on the ground
>look at mirror and nearly cry
>phone number written in shit on mirror
>winky face next to it
>manager walks in
>”what…the...fuck?”
>”anon, clean this up”
>look at him with horror
>”no”
>”then you’re fired”
>smile evilly
>”good. Enjoy cleaning this by yourself.”
>leave laughing my ass off as he realizes the hole he just dug himself into

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>all these faggots complaining abput their easy jobs in retail
You think retail is hard? Try being a kitchen porter/dishwasher.

>>558000340
>be tax preparer
>working at shit tier pizza parlor after tax season
>new girl on second register
>see her start counting out 60 cents in dimes
>put my customer on hold, ask her what the hell she's doing
>"I'm giving him his change anon"
>wordlessly take the dimes from her hand, put all but one back and grab two quarters, hand to customer
>girl looks at me like I just invented fire
>"25 + 25 is 50, + 10 is 60"
>wide-eyed blinking, I can see the gears turning before she busts out laughing
>"Oh, what EVER anon, I don't know your accounting tricks"
>this literally crashes my brain and I sit there for a minute just blinking at her
>tell her to finish my customers order, head out back for a chew and to cry a little

this was a year ago.
she still works there.

>>558003903
The screenshot was taken at 9:17 p.m, the facebook clock on the status said posted 2 hours ago.
There was no way to prove my innocence at this time, so I signed the paperwork, and was ounished for this instead of being fired.
Within the next few weeks I checked back up on this.
Because the clock on my status said posted 2 hours earlier, whoever was doing the research must have assumed that the post had been sent at 7:17 p.m, which actually didn't match up wih my clock in schedule. But that's now how the clock works.
I had actually sent the message at 6:45 p.m, and I clocked back into work at 6:46.
Pt 2/3

>>558001061
Holy shit that's chicago!

>>558002969
Look at the first frame of that gif. The cow's nose and mouth look like a fucking face. Totally weirded me out

>>558003903
>Menards
MI here, you have my attention.

>>558005526
Nobody fucking cares, stop posting.

>>558005743
maybe i care anon, ever think of that?

>>558005743
apparently this guy >558005705 does

got one from my brother's pov:
>working as manager of coffee shop
>nigger comes in buys this that and the other thing
>paying with cash to the new girl
>wad of cash comes out for payment
>constantly talking numbers, taking this bill back and presenting this instead
>he's trying to fucking hustle her
>finally leaves
>ask bitch "did you just get hustled?"
"I think so Idklol"
>count drawer short like 50 bucks
>called cops
>cops show up
>nigger had the nerve to show up while I was in back talking with cops, starts yelling at dumb bitch about how she screwed him out of his change
>me and two cops come out of back room
>fight or flight kicked in and fight won because niggers gonna nig
>goes to pull something out of coat- classic suspect move
>gets tazed by both cops
>nigger busting a move on the floor
>get money back
>take the rest of his cash because fuck him
>nigger gets arrested

>work in retail
>boss is cheap bastard, won't hire a cleaner
>colleague is cleaning the toilet
>manager pinging elastic bands at him
>colleague flicks toilet water at manager
>manager rages, reaches into pan
>manager grabs a nugget and forces it into colleague's mouth
>colleague runs to boss crying
>boss laughs

-----
>different colleague on lunch
>manager bored and decides to mess with him
>manager grabs colleagues beanie hat
>manager stuffs hat down his pants
>manager proceeds to do star jumps while laughing
>colleague gets hat back smelling of balls

I miss that place

>>558006014
Lol fail

>>558004808
Some places just have no fucking hiring standards.
>for my first job worked at McD's
>not a bad gig, managers are cool, area's white as fuck, customers are always chill
>after a year they promote me to employee trainer
>new girl, one of those girls you look at and you just know their name's gonna be something like Caitlyn or some shit
>cop comes in
>he's a regular, really cool guy, but he's deathly allergic to caffeine and all of us know this
>he tells the girl this before ordering his decaf black iced coffee and a McDouble no ketchup, same as every day
>couldn't be an easier order to make
>Caitlyn fucking makes the coffee regular, extra cream, extra sugar, forgets the ice, and goes to hand it to him
>he's about to say something but I shake my head at him and grab the coffee from her
>"Caitlyn do you know what would have happened if you'd given that to him?"
>"Wha-"
>"He'd be fucking dead, Caitlyn. You'd have been a fucking murderer Caitlyn. Go tell [manager] what you just did, I really don't know how you messed this up that way."
>She does this with every fucking coffee order she gets and we always get pissed off customers when it happens.
>Later she gets fired for stealing from another coworkers purse and I get written up for cursing her out.

>>558004451
i did that for a week
got paid $100
tore check up and threw it at the manager
used shirt to check my oil before i left the lot

fuck that job
no tips
waitresses are always cunts

>>558004451
I've worked as a dishwasher, it was actually my first job. One thing to note, Mexicans are assholes as well as gossip bitches. Even High School Skanks can show respect compared to these ungrateful wetbacks.

>INB4 Racist.
I'm Mexican, born American.

>>558006226

>some guy in the shop looking at stereos
>he looks dodgy so people keeping an eye out
>wonder wtf he is up to
>realise he's fapping
>make myself scarce
>mfw he finished and co-worker had to clean jizz off stereo

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>>558006347
i am ashamed. Will anhero now.

>first job, summer before college
>Get job at target
>Flow, which is basically just stocking shit from trucks
>My team is fucking amazing at our jobs, finish minimum 1/2 hour before everyone else
>Always walk around and help out in other areas
>Target tells you to ask basically every guest if they need help
>walking around one day, see a couple women walking
>"Need help finding anything?"
>N-no hablo ingles
>Ihavepreparedmyentirelifeforthis.jpg
>Time to use my shitty highschool spanish education
>Tu necesitas ayudar?
>Customer lights up, surprised
>"Navidad?"
>Motion for her to follow
>"Aqui!"
>proudest moment of my then 18 year old life
>mfw no one was watching
>quit a month later, go to college at FAU

>>558006381
pussy.

>>558003903
continue

>>558003903
This is a fucking mystery, I'm curious

>>558004808
You sound like a controlling cunt. I bet you're a nightmare to work with.

>>558004451
worked fast food for over a year, and it was honestly the shittiest legal job imaginable. the managers were assholes, they always fucked with your schedule, didn't pay shit and added a shit ton of responsibilites without adding pay

>>558005526
FINISH THE DAMN STORY SO I CAN GO FAP

>>558005526
>theirfacewhen I bring the info
I have a big ass problem with my entire family accusing me of shit I didn't do when I was younger, and ouniching me for it.
I straight up quit right there.
What? You can't.
YesIfuckingcan.jpeg
TheirfacewhentheyknowIcan.gif
I was their best carryout, one of three.
One complained all the time, the other wasn't bad, I was just better.
I sent around a paper to other coworkers explaining this.
Now all the managers are hated.
Now no one doesn't follow most rules, ESPECIALLY texting on the job.
They're not fired cuz menards can't hire enough new people fast enough.
So that's my story.

>>558005743
middlekek

>>558006901
you have impressed no one with your reply.

>>558005657
>cow
Dude, get your eyes checked

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>>557998197
>based as fuck
What did I just read?

>>558007161
The menards you worked at... it couldn't be the one in Sioux City, could it?

>>558007083
only if you're a fucking retard. I get along pretty well with everyone who has a brain.

>>558001569
noone cares

>be manager
>shit employee everyone hates get mad at his job
>says "fuck dis shit, I'm outta here" one thursday morning.
>Comes back following Tuesday and says he wants his job back, changed his mind.
>Tell him we took his words as a verbal resignation
>laugh at him working a shit low paying job outside in the rain now to make ends meet.

>>558007161
4/10

>>558005657
>that "cow's" face looks like a face

I got some black friday stories, I just remembered.

>Black Friday, K-Mart
>place is run down as fuck
>smack between niggers and middle class who think they're rich
>I'm asked to "assist" with video game sales
>basically, open the case to hand games to customers
>this was the year Wii U was released
>lady comes up, a little confused
>"Excuse me, but do Wii U games work in the Wii?"
>No ma'am, just Wii games.
>from behind her, another lady walks up, clearly ready to dish out some knowledge
>"Excuse me. But is this a Wiiiiiiiiiii game?"
>she says it really slow.
>Yeah, it's for a Wii U. It's not for a regular--
>"But it says Wiiiiiiii right on the box, doesn't it?"
>What? Yeah, but--
>"So I guess it makes it a wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii game. Don't listen to him, my son has an Xbox."
>first lady wordlessly grabs the game and buys it
One of a few stories from that shithole.

>>558007564
Nah bruh. Marinette.
Gayland or w/e his name is (guy who currently practicly owns the place) came down and layed some shit down. Only visited store twice since I had started there. First time was some manager tried stealing over 50k in a carbage bag. She lost it when one of the other carry outs (the one that complains a lot) tookvout the trash

>>558007974
Tell more, yeah ?

>be lowe's slave
>quitting soon, my two weeks is almost up
>last day is less than a week from now
>stopped caring about my quotas or what the managers think of me, they've been shitting their pants for days over finding a replacement
>SM pulls me into her office for a talk
>asks me questions as to why im leaving lowes
>straight up tell her how shitty the front end is and that the hc's and dm's play favorites
>tell her how rude one of the hc's are to her coworkers and customers
>drop names
>SM is looking at me like I have three heads
>I leave her office and continue what I'm doing
>a bit later one of the hc's I named comes up to me while I'm with a customer and goes apeshit that I tattled on her
>politely tell her to go away
>she chimps out and logs me off the register in the middle of my extremely tedious and large transaction
>customer in front of me is perturbed and asks for the manager
>manager chews out hc in front of the whole front end
>mfw im still doing transactions without a word the entire time and bitch hc is getting yelled at by sm and customers
>I cant fucking wait to leave

>>558007576
Whooooooaaaaa.
You saved ~5 seconds of your coworker's time by flipping the fuck out at her over dimes.

I'd have counted the change out in fucking pennies just to spite you.

>>558005657
>Cow

Go to sleep, Anon.

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>>557994134


>work at library
>dumbcunts come in all the time for movies
>good friend of mine shelves the dvds
>she has had a shit day
>shes shelving dvds
>fat kid asks her to move so he can see
>she shrugs and does it
>fat kid looks for a minute and then fucks off
>continue working
>fat kid comes back and asks her to move to see again
>"you just saw them"
>"i wanna look again"
>"are you fucking retarded they are the same goddamn movies before you little shit"
>she makes a scene
>laughing my ass off
>pull her aside and tell her to calm or she'll be fired
>"i don't give a shit that fat cunt deserved it"
>laugh for an entire week

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>>558002941
>put cones around him

>>558001569
never heard this before

>>558007728
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I had to have an interesting story. Last I checked, the itt was simply sharing storiies from work.
Just lemme know where to sign that says you and your rating can kiss my ass.

>>558005657
>The cow's

Are you retired?

>>558001569
>gorilla warfare
who let tarzan in the military?

>*** YOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY LE PELICAN! *** post this in 3 threads or you will be killed
>????????????????????
>?????????????????????
>?????????????????????
>??????????????????????
>???????????????????????
>????????????????????????????
>???????????????????????????????

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>>558008197
>dat id

A'ight
>working the afternoon shift
>I work electronics, along with the Young Aspiring High Schooler and the single mom
>single mom is cool as shit, plus nice T&A and funny as fuck
>AspHigh is fairly dickish, constantly quoting rules out of context and acting like he's the boss
>single mom and I ignore him often
>electronics in this shitty store is also where we sell ovens, dryers, and refrigerators
>guess who has to load them
>single mom is finishing up the transaction one day while I'm wrestling this refrigerator over the cracked up floor on a pallet jack
>AspHigh is right behind me, not actually helping
>anon we need tie downs
>anon try to avoid the cracks
>anon did you mention the extended warranty
>man passing by in nice clothes asks for help to find a surge protector
>AspHigh, go take care of that
>get fridge to the guys truck, we get it on board and I finally get a minute of peace
>back inside, single mom is fuming and AspHigh is still talking to the customer
>turns out this guy is a dentist
>and he needs a receptionist
>and because AspHigh is such a wonderfully informative salesman, he's getting offered a job
>He's gone the next day
>isn't replaced because we're so close to the season ending anyways
>ofw the asshole really did get a better deal

>>558008610
it made her learn basic math

I count that as a small victory for the human race.

>>558009582
i don't post often, but.... Please, anon. Do not reproduce.

>>558007161
nice story it reminds me of the shit I had to put up with from Wendy's.
>working bitch hours: close one night, open 4 hours later
>walked because carless idiot then
>winter
>snowing like mad
>get out at 2, home at 3, sleep for 90 minutes, awake, walk back and get there at 5:45 to be there at 6
>there at 6
>snowing like a motherfucker
>other kid working there was suicidal emotional faggot, sitting in car with daddy
>morning manager didn't arrive until about 8am
>stood out in the cold for more than 2 hours
>first thing he says to me
"you're gonna have to sign some papers saying you were late for work"
>bear in mind I'd been taking a lot of shit from these people for months at this point. My paperwork had been moved around so much and they didn't pay me for the 3 months I had been there. They kept saying "damn red tape lol"
>I snapped
"I was here at 5:45 in the fucking morning after closing last night, and I have those two witnesses who watched me from their fucking car while I stood out here and waited for your dumb ass. I wasn't late, I'm not signing shit"
>guy fumbles for words, being told off by a 22 year old with a ponytail
>later in the day, bitch manager tells me to join her in office
>told that I have to sign paper and also have to sign another one for telling off shithead manager
"I'm not signing anything until I'm paid for the 3 fucking months I've been here"
>yelled at, made some vague threat I probably could have sued over
>good friends with regional manager of Wendy's somehow
>tell him story
>bitch has paycut lol
>retard fired
got insanely sick
>no paycheck yet
>decided fuck it I'd rather be sick and jobless than to die in the snowbank on the way to a job that won't pay me
>roommates give me hell
>work blows up my phone
>Spring break comes along, I go with dad to Wendy's for a frosty
>bitch comes up and tries to tell me off
>I tell her that I'd better have almost 4 months of back pay by next week or I'm getting a god damned lawyer

>>558010000
nice quads

>>558003815
That's why I don't enter patient rooms

>>558004451
I just started doing this last week, just left a slower job, but i have years experience in cooking, this place is busy as hell in a tourist town. The work truly is brutal. Constant. And waitresses getting on your ass for things you had nothing to do with every day. I don't know how i can get used to this.

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>>558010000
Quads...

>>558003903
I sometimes save big money at Menards

>Iowafag

>>558008924
>>558009582
The fact that you two even acknowledged the fucking copypasta amazes me. You two (or samefag) are retarded

>>558010000
>*** YOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY LE PELICAN! *** post this in 3 threads or you will be killed ?
>????????????????????
>?????????????????????
>?????????????????????
>??????????????????????
>???????????????????????
>????????????????????????????
>???????????????????????????????

>>558011381
Eau Claire fag here. Like 5 minutes away from the headquarters

>>558011384
>2014
>doesn't understand sarcasm

>>558010776
I can't work fast food anymore thanks to that fucking place. Too demeaning and I don't trust any of the managers. I did end up getting my paycheck, but idk if it was the correct amount, and it was like 10 years ago. I kept the shirt. I think I burned it in spite lol.

One of my best stories was during the night shift I hung out with this complete hippie who brought in 2 gallons of Captain Morgan's. We finished both in one night. He then made a sandwich that probably cost about 80 dollars, and then he drove me home.

OH and one big part was how one day while walking to work in the snow, I had such a bad fever/flu I apparently passed out on the sidewalk. I woke up in the hospital. That's what made me flip my shit on that place

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>>557994134

>Work minimum wage job in a warehouse
>Manager is a bitch
>High staff turnover (17 people in 18 months)
>4 women and myself working
>delivery comes in manager tells me to unload
>sort boxes bring them up stick them style with style
>busy as fuck got a new season line coming in
>1 day 12 pallets coming in
>"Anon get the delivery up"
>Ask for help sure I can bring them up but they can sort them out themselves
>"No, they are women can't expect them to carry boxes"
>MFW
>uwotm8? "Okay I quit I'm going home get the delivery up yourself"
>get my shit and leave
>walking to car
>"Anon wait, the girls will give you a hand"

Fucking bitches want equal pay, equal rights then fucking do equal work too =/

>>558001061
It gets me moist knowing this
Bitch is probably dead now

>>558011540
is that even a Pelican? It looks a heck of a lot more like a Toucan.

>>558010776
Why the fuck would you work 3 fucking months without getting a paycheque? If you get an actual physical cheque, you wait 24 hours max and then flip your shit. You call everyone above you until you have that cocksucker in your hand and if you don't, you don't work.

>>558012170
>pointing out minor flaws instead of spamming the ascii to save your ass

>>558002941

I lol'd

>>558009247
So buttmad haha

>>558011886
you think that's bad turnover? This shit store I worked at run by this shifty Hungarian faggot and his cherokee wife had a new cashier/bagger every 7 days for like 2 years. It's a famously terrible place that has awful markup but the location is fucking incredible so the scumbags in the neighborhood- the drunks, the niggers, the homelesses, and the fatlords and carless wonders all congregate there. Every 7 days I was training a bitch. I've got my own stories about that place but they're mostly about being fucked over for promotions and shit like that. I simply quit. My wendy's story is way crazier.

>>558012323
I was younger, I was a bitch, and I had to hope that the money would come soon because financial aid fucked me over and I didn't get my reimbursement when all my other friends did who paid off the year's rent in one go. I still owed, and the landlords went and threatened them instead of me so I had to keep the job and hope that eventually they'd get their heads out of their asses. But walking up strapped into IVs was the limit.

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>>557999996

haha funny as hell

>>558011617
Eau Claire MI? No shit.

Another story from that wonderful little shithole
>our K mart has an attached diner
>mostly for old folk and the occasional trucker/cop
>go there before work one day
>old lady sees me (20yo) talking to waitress (15yo)
>comes up to us and I shit you not
>"he looks like a nice young man, you should have some coffee with him."
>waitress laughs awkwardly
>I laugh awkwardly
>go to my table, get breakfast
>waiter girl brings me two cups of coffee
>turns out she just got off, decided I wasn't too bad looking
>we have a decent chat, but I decide to keep it short because this is florida and her dad might just decide to fuck up the geek who deflowered his daughter
tl;dr, old lady almost hooked me up with some decent jailb8.

>>558011832
I kept so many workshirts it's not funny. Both McDonalds and the gas stations I worked for said I'd be docked pay if I kept them, but I never was and I use them now when I go golfing. It's nice to get a parting gift.

>>558012641
I'd rather die as a man who can tell apart a Toucan from a Pelican, than live on as a man who mindlessly enslaved himself to a copy pasta bird.

>>558012887
It is bad, especially when I'm the only guy working there, and I see guys coming in hang around a while and then fuck off. When I started it was 4 guys and 3 women. We used to unload that shit fast then they all fucked off and I had to do it all, I'd ask myself why am I working like a racehorse when I get minimum wage (£6.31 per hour) thats when I got pissed. But I have loads of stories

>>558013207
I eventually did get my financial aid, it wasn't as much as my friends (nothing is worse than watching all your friends go buy tons of shit because they got insane reimbursements while you get nothing)

I eventually paid the rent, but the damage was done to those friendships. That's all I'm really saying about it, but that was the turning point in my life when I stopped taking peoples' shit- it almost cost me my life

>>558013658
Wisconsin. I didnt know MI had an Eau Claire too?

another story I have about the Wendy's bitch, we had this one woman who worked there and also at Burger King. When bitch found out about this, she made her life a living hell, making her hours conflict with BK, and one day the girl had to work BK after Wendy's, so bitch took her shirt and hat and threw them into the garbage, and then dropped a bucket of chili into the garbage to cover it. That shit was fucked up.

BTW don't get the chili at Wendy's: it's old meat, overcooked burger chunks, undercooked burger chunks, all the crap that doesn't get sold gets frozen and mixed into chili.

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>>558013660

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>>558013660
Read that in his voice.

>>558014254
Anything wrong with the chicken tenders?its all I get.

>>558008145
I've been there a fuck ton, from the upper pen.

>>558013660
I for one welcome our new pelican overlords

>>558007545
get out of here new roodypoo

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>>558013660

>>557994134
>Stock take week
>Empty all transfers to warehouse and put it in piles sorted out by style name
>Look at dress can't remember where it was
>Rip the back zip
>Faulty pile

>>558014517
as far as I know they're not fresh as commercials once stated: everything is frozen. They're often fried in gross oil, which rarely gets cleaned. If anyone is a vegetarian you can guarantee that the fries aren't even safe to eat.

>>558014581
Vidkun Quisling get out of my thread.

>>558015054
I just don't go to Wendy's at all because I mean have you ever eaten there?

>>558015054
holy shit, what about the salads?

>>558015306
Have you ever been to a Wendy's that wasn't operated entirely by the niggest of the nig?

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>work in body shop
>chinese guy comes in
>anon,my ride's fubar'd
>go go parking lot with boss,and chingchong
>guy tried go make the car look pic related
>it was a fucking porsche
>it was missing the front end
turns out that he was racing in it and the wrecker that brought it in plowed through it. thd guy was asian and didn't want to pay shit.
>I go check other shop
>truck driver didn't want to tske him anywhere else so he was stuck
>so much win when the fix was fairly simple and we made 8g off him

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>>557994134

>>558015306
used to eat there until I worked there. Still get an occasional Frosty. I did state that this was 10 years ago or so, so things DO change. I worked there before pretzel buns, before Angus burgers, before goddamned bacon became a toppping. I used to enjoy their Pitas, if that gives you any sense of how long ago it was. IDK about their salads, probably fine, I assume they're pre-packaged, so the worst you might find is a frog or some e coli.

Wendy's has a stupid little trick you're supposed to learn when cooking their square patties: with the 4 oz patty, you press from left to right with the spatula on the left half, then on the right half separately. The 8 oz you do the same thing, from left to right only you do the 4 corners.

>>558015375
The salad is made out of meat, anon.

Sorry

>>558008610
You sound like you're going places with your career.

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>worked at coffee shop in college
>chick that lived in the room next to my dorm also worked there
>we've been half ass dating
>working pretty late at night because big college town
>no one around
>we go to the back and she gives me some incredible head
>we hear customers walk in as I blow my load
>she swallows it and attends to the customers
>later quit because my boss was a fucking liberal dick

Life fucking sucks now.

another fun fact, the Frosties (chocolate at least) are low fat chocolate lol. I forget which brand. Probably some shitty company nobody's ever heard of that got tricked into signing a non competition agreement

>>558016486
sounds like you have some good stories, and a few good memories there.

>>557994134

Got a good one from today.

>Work at Chipotle as manager
>Lady come in 10 minute before close.
>We're a fairly busy location, not uncommon, no fucks given.
>Gets burrito
>Gets to salsa
>Asks for mild, green, corn, and cheese
>Coworker puts on green salsa
>Look of disappointment falls across this lady's face
>'It's all liquidy, I can't eat that
>Coworker asks if she wants it remade
>She agrees, saying in a snobby voice
>"of course I want it remade, it's all soupy now
Meanwhile I'm doing pre-close, hear this
>ma'am, the medium green salsa is liquid based, it's bound to be liquidy
>honestly just telling her what's up, maybe she didn' t know
>She just stares at me
>Coworker remakes burrito
>Gets to salsa
>Orders the same fucking salsas
>Completely dumbfounded
>"Ma'am, the green salsa is liquidy, it will make your burrito wet. If you don't want that to happen, we can put it on the side for you.
>She gets all uppity
>"I don't get why you can't just give me what I want!"
>Tell her I'll put it in a side cup, completely floored at this bitch's retardation
Fuck it, atleast she wasn't a total bitch, just dumb as fuck.

>>557994134
Today a guy came in reeking of alcohol and walking funny. A while later there was a commotion at the door. He had run out with stolen booze and the manager went after him. Apparently he wasn't too drunk to run fast, because he got away.

>>558016016
whaaaaatt

Let me tell you about Lamar the dispatch technician .

>Work for network contracting company.
>A Tripp-lite network UPS for a pharmacy out in NC is throwing some automated email alerts
>Shit
>Call site and see what's up.
>They say the UPS is smoking some. One of the battery packs seems ready to burst
>Double shit
>Have site staff unplug it and move network gear to a powerstrip for time being.
>It's obviously broken, but we need to prove the issue before Tripp-lite will replace it.
>Send a tech out to test the UPS.
>When he gets there, he calls me.
>"Hey, Anon. How do I test this thing?"
>Wot. Who trained you? Who are you?
"Trained? And I'm Lamar. So, we gunna test this thing?"
>Sounds like a nig-nog.
>Fuck. Ok.
>Begin slow process of telling him what to do over phone.
>It slowly becomes a spectator thing, as people come to my cube to listen.
>"Okay, It's plugged in. I think I've got the volt meter in wrong, tho-"
>Loud pop, then phone goes dead.
>Alerts flood in, one for every bit of network gear going down, then more for all of them going back up a second later.
>Everyone sits there, stunned.
>Did this nigger just electrocute himself and die?
>Another alert email comes in a moment later.
>It's listed as a 911 call.
>You could hear a pin drop in the room
>He's dead Jim.
>Just as I get up to tell my manager that a family is probably going to cash in on some life insurance, the phone rings.
>Pick it up, expecting the worst.
>A slurred voice comes through.
>"Heyyy, Anon. I'm gud here, but damn nigga your shit's broke."
>Silent.
>All at once, a whole room of sides transcend the mortal plane to join the gods of old.

After that, I ALWAYS picked Lamar when I needed to send a technician somewhere.

>>558014824
Are you saying I'm quite... Naughty?

shit working with Aged Care Caretakes
>work as a cleaner
>told not to clean shit cox they scared we will spread sickness and kill old ppl with no immune system
>one day shit smeared on wall and Indian Caretaker told me to clean it
>new guy so didnt know shit. decide to clean after my break
>come back and found out Nurse made the caretaker clean it.
>turns out it was her job and not mine.
>tfw i smirked at her while vacuuming the floor

>>558015613
Fucking Asians are worse than Jews. Not work related but still.

Just moved to Florida.
Check Craigslist for a riding mower.
See a decent one for 400.
Call and set up meeting.
Go to buy it, willing not to haggle.
Slant eyed prick upon my arrival asked what he was asking for it.
I say 400.
He says I was wrong and shows me a new CL add for 600.
Ad posted two hours ago.
Scream racial profanities, rice dick and such.
Kick out one of the headlights as I leave.

It's been a couple weeks now, don't think I need I worry about the cops for destruction of property.

Not work, but still pretty funny
>want to move out of apartment but have no money
>figure I just won't pay rent until I get kicked out so I don't have to skimp anywhere else
>It's been two years
>I am posting this from the same apartment

>be 17, working at taco bell as first job.
>month or so into job become pro cashier / janitor.
>kept that bitch clean.
>call me Mr. Clean.
>one day cleaning restroom.
>need to take super pee pee.
>look in bowl giant log on the sea shore.
>try to flush it no use.
>looks like a job for a super pee pee hero.
>wipe it out.
>all systems go.
>hitting the log with everything I got.
>almostthere.jpg
>log finally slides into water.
>I was the happiest boy ever.
>quit my job about a month later. Fuck that place.
ayyy lmao

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>be 17
>second job ever, first was cleaning a music store
>mom got me a job at Sonic burger as a carhop
>little do I know carhops have to work with drinks for 2 weeks before being upgraded to waitstaff
>know nothing about machinery
>peeps try to teach me
>floor is slippery
>20 people working in a crowded area
>five different drink machines
>i somehow break one in all the confusion
>no slushies for the entire day
>on my way out I slip on the floor and take out the hot carhop girl
>she sprains her wrist
>it's not even happy hour yet

And this is why I'm not allowed to work in foodservice anymore.

>>558017508
sounds like you're just a faggot.

>>558017870

You're right. I should of just paid the extra two hundred. Fuck off schlomo.

>>558002941
Sounds like you live in a particular city in California

>>558014201
Are you me, Anon?

>>558018060
or you just walk away without being a god damned child. It's not like he took your lawnmower and tried to sell it back, it was his. He decided he wanted more. It's fucking Craigslist, you're lucky he wasn't a 600 pound fat man who wanted his asshole tongue-cleaned.

>Work as cashier at grocery store
>80 year old man comes through line
>obviously deaf (or nearly)
>order is 24.37
>hands me check
>says he wants 20 over
>hand him 20 back
>blows the fuck up
>"WHAT THE FUCK"
>"I WANTED 40 YOU CUNT"
>"YOU PEOPLE NEVER LISTEN"
>smile politely. No point in arguing with a deaf, old guy
>"WHAT THE FUCK. IM GOING TO PISS ON YOU"
>throws shit at me
>duck
>leans in to hit me
>step back
"WHAT THE FUCK. IM NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN"
>good
>leaves while screaming at everyone he passes
>mfw he pushes some lady over while still yelling

What a bitch.

>>557997718

Since diarrhea is a symptom of withdrawal, and only a junkie severely in w/d would actually have a syringe visible... you'd be well advised to just let them use the damn bathroom, since they're very sick and highly unstable.

Fortunately I'm a well dressed white guy, so everywhere lets me use their bathroom even if I'm not a customer. They really should know that since it's a bad area and I'm white that I'm a junkie asking to go shoot up too. But I don't leave a mess.

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>>558016698
Yeah I've got a few. Didn't work there very long though. Chill job overall.

>9PM
>close to the end of my shift and there's only a few hipsters hanging out
>drunk fratbros walk in
>order sandwiches and shit
>being dicks as expected
>I really hated frats
>dude dumps his whole coffee on the floor
>it looked like it was on purpose
>manager makes me clean it up
>as I'm cleaning they start fucking with me
>being a stupid kid I didn't take that very well
>slap a fratbro across the face with the semi-wet mop
>expect to get my ass kicked
>the rest of them crack the fuck up
>make friends with a few of them

I'll try to think of some more, there wasn't that much excitement outside of college shenanigans. This was fucking years ago before all the smartphones and shit.

>>558016013the four corner press isn't used anymore. Basically you bring down this huge plate that cooks both sides at same time. Salads are made every day from "fresh" ingredients from the walk in so they aren't pre packaged. The fryers are still fucking dirty as hell though

>I work at Wendy's

>>557994134
>First job at kroger

>be stocking bullshit
>fat lookin grimace asking weird question
>" I can't seem to fit in the motorized cart"
>8am
>tired.jpg
>I reply with "so you want a bigger cart"?
>grimace starts crying and getting upset
>" I am not fat"
>I never said you were fat
>me apologizing
>"but that is what you said" a thousand times repeating
>Me not giving a fuck and tired
>boss laughs behind her back when she complains.

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I got one that happened recently

>work at shitty coffee shop that starts with an s
>people are alright and co-workers are all great
>downside is SM is a huge fat raging cunt who cannot manage store right
>Ignore her and work night shifts because shes not there usually
>Walk in one day with friend who was also working
>SM is there because she stays late some days
>mfw just my luck
>mind my own business until SM starts shit flinging on the floor at my friend in front of customers
>apparently last sunday some customer bitched to higher ups about the 'worst experience of her life'
>tfw i dont give a shit because our brand of customers are all entitled shitbabys but step in because shes being inappropriate
>she tries to drag coworker friend into back to yell at her without me there
>follow because i know how her psychosomatic shit works
>apparently this lady lied and my SM believes all the shit she said about my friend
>begins name calling in the back and saying my shifts are not under control at the same time
>tfw im the only shift there that does the job right
>other shifts usually just do whatever they want and mismanage left and right
>only reason they get away with it is because they asskiss SM and i dont
>tell her to stop disrespecting new coworker and to get over it because shit happens and half of it wasn't even true
>she has nothing constructive to say other than trying to bitch us out
>end the conversation
>what a waste of time i could have been helping customers

i honestly cannot comprehend how someone can manage so poorly i wish i could punch her in her fat gob daily

>>558008610
You're offended because you identify with the idiot who doesn't know kindergarten addition. Do I need to spell out what that tells us about your intelligence?

>>558018263
I disagree. If you walk away like a pacifying faggot it only reinforces their own faggotry. Teach them, as brutally as possible, that that type of shit is socially unacceptable. Or are you OK with jewery?

>>558017237
Holy fucking shit
I'm stoned and this shit is so fucking funny right now

Fucking hated my old job

>Be me, early twenties
>work at a fast food restaurant flipping burgers
>I literally just flipped burgers all fucking day
>I'd work 6 days a week for at least 8 hours a day
>at one point my cheapskate boss made me stay up for like 3 days straight
>only really talk to one other co-worker
>I'm nice to him but he treats me like shit
>anyway, my boss is a selfish nutsack
>I get no health care or anything so he can have more money in his pocket
>too afraid to report him because I doubt I could find another job
>mfw I'm spongebob squarepants

>>558018798
yeah because breaking someone's property will give you mad respect. I hope he does sue you for being 12. Some people are out to get more, but you can't tell me that if you decided you wanted more for a mower than you originally posted that you wouldn't be in his fucking shoes.

>>557997718
>little princess thinks she's too good to have to clean up shit
Welcome to the real world, bitch. Being a cute little piece of meat will only get you so far.

>>558009257
>retired
both of you got to bed

>>558018507
you ever cover your junk in flavor shot liquid and have her lick it off?

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>be 15
>be working at a restaurant down in Massachusetts
>just got out of my first relationship, feeling pretty down
>get promoted to host staff
>hire new girl one day, looks just like my ex
>icantdealwiththis.jpg
>use my new found promotion powers to make her do all the grunt work
>sit playing iPad and eating starbursts all day
>she quits two days later
I sure showed her

>>558017237
Fuck that's great dude.

>>558000340
Why didn't you fire her on the spot?

>>558006118
I love when a story has a happy ending

>be me, working at pet store
>stuck on register, bored as fuck
>guy walks in with his two daughters, sees me, walks right over
>"hey buddy, got a question for you"
>"sure, what is it?"
>"do you guys carry toucans?"
>"Toucans? As in the tropical bird?"
>yeah, with the huge beak"
>his daughter sighs "dad, I told you this was stupid, they don't have them"
>tell him I'm not sure if we have toucans, I'll check with the manager on at the time
>call manager to front, tell her this gentleman has a question for her
>"yeah hey, I was wondering if you guys carried toucans"
>managers looks at the guy, looks at me, back at guy, back at me
>"no sir, we don't carry toucans, you would need to find a specialty breeder for that"
>"oh alright, figured we'd check here"
>guy leaves, manager looks at me, says "next time, just say we don't have any."

>Work at small liquor store
>High end, sells 15k bottles of wine, walk in humidor and sold Black Dragon's, shit loads of liquor
>Boss is a huge bro, always lets me go early if I need to, lets me come late if I need to, lets my girlfriend come in and hang out so long as she stays behind the counter when customers, etc.
>Gives me a few hundred bucks on my birthday and Christmas because he's a bro
>Love working there
>Learn a shitload about wine and cigars
>Worked there 4 years
>He has cameras all over the store
>Talks about the cameras all the time
>Tells stories of how he catches people stealing "Club" drinks on the cameras
>Tells stories how he caught a previous employee stealing before he hired me
>Cameras
>Stole hundreds of bottles of liquor
>Stole hundreds of bottles of good wine
>Stole hundreds of packs of cigs
>Stole hundreds of cigars
>Stole from 40-200 dollars a shift
>cameraslol
>I knew those fuckers didn't work

I loved that fucking job. I quit because I saved enough money to travel the world for a year.

>>558018798
as for your "jewery" remark: It's all a fucking game: women, sex, dating, money, sales, life. You can either learn from people who fuck you over or you can cry "EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG WITH MY LIFE IS THE GODDAMN JEWS FAULT BECAUSE THE KLAN AND NAZIS SAY SO"

You either learn to fuck people back or you take it like a bitch and make up words like "jewery"

>>558019090
Yup, you're good with the Jew cock in your ass. Noted.

>be 16
>first job at mcdonalds
>2 weeks in, haven't met owner yet
>working, some guy rolls up in a mustang
>huge guy, at least 300 lbs
>slams open door
>cuts everyone in line
>"GIVE ME A GODDAMN CHEESEBURGER AND A MCFLURRY"
>"Sir, you have to wait your turn in line"
>the veins in his temple pop out
>"DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHO I AM YOU INSIGNIFICANT PILE OF SHIT?"
>I call the manager
>It turns out he's the owner
>I get fired later that day

>>557997718
it was a hot girl??? (the one that was crying)

>>558018587
What can you tell me about the crispy chicken caesar wraps?

It's the only thing I order and the only complaint I have is that sometimes nig nogs put too much dressing on it or the tortilla is all hard and crusty, but that only happened once and I got a refund.

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>>558019269
kek, nah, kinkiest thing we was when I blew a load into her coffee.

She was a crazy bitch, one of those chicks that grew up in a really conservative house then went fucking insane in college.

I work for AT&T.

I've got a million stories. None of them are as particularly interesting. People who call customer service are fucking retarded. Long story short.

By the way, anytime any of you call at&t customer service and think "I'm gonna yell and scream so they do what I want"

...everyone laughs at you. we have a system like Skype and we can share our phones audio. It happens all the time. And no it's not just our coworkers. My boss wrote to me once "fuck she's being a bitch, just transfer her to i2r" (involve to resolve, basically managers who deal with angry people.)

It's the best part of the day.

>>558019778
Top kek. Looks like I hit a sore spot. Are you still mad that your rabbi sucked your cut up dick when you were little? Or are you chill what that too?

>>558019485
haha I completely skipped the first line so I though you worked at a grocery store or something and some guy was asking for toucans.

>be me
>work at gap
>boss is 28, hot, newly married, pretty chill and fucking one of her employees
>slow as fuck day
>boss is not even pretending to work
>we are standing in front of store watching people walk by
>giant crazy-homeless-looking dude walks by
>jeans have holes and obviously not wearing underwear
>when he strides can see his balls
>boss calls him over
>starts lecturing him about his clothes
>tell him to come in to store
>hands him a new pair of jeans
>"these will fit you"
>he puts them on in changing room
>he walks to register to pay
>boss says, "no, they are on the house"
>guy starts to argue, "i can pay"
>puts old jeans on counter and searches the pocket and whips out a gold card
>homelesslookingguysinotpoor.bat
>pays for jeans
>says thank you and starts to pick up his old pants to leave
>boss whacks his hand
>NO!
>he looks bemused, but leaves
>boss has me go to back room to get a plastic bag to throw away the jeans

>>558017237
gg

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>work at smartphone repair shop
>lady comes in
>"hi ma'am! what can i do for you today?"
>holds up ipad with broken glass
>says she just had the glass replaced a week ago
>check her receipt
>okay.webm
>says she gave the ipad to her four year old child, to see if she could break the glass
>resoundingsuccess.mp3
>mfw
>she asks about the warranty
>"well ma'am the 90-day warranty unfortunately does not cover physical damage or water damage to the device"
>her face goes from complacent to HURRDURR I AM CONFUS
>starts to get bitchy
>"WELL WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF THE WARRANTY IF YOU WON'T HONOR IT"
>explain once again that the warranty is not the same as insurance, physical damage is not covered
>"i completely understand your situation, unfortunately i can't perform a warranty repair. i can offer you a discount on a subsequent repair"
>"PAY FOR ANOTHER REPAIR? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOU JUST FIXED THIS AND IT BROKE AGAIN! YOU MUST HAVE USED WEAK GLASS!"
>mfw
>AGAIN explain to her the warranty, and walk her through the printed text on her receipt detailing said warranty
>"i do apologize ma'am, but the best i can do in this situation is offer you a 40% discount on another repair"
>i feel like that's more than fair on a $130 repair
>god damn was i wrong
>"I DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS! YOU GUYS ARE CROOKS AND SCAM ARTISTS! REST ASSURED I'LL BE IN CONTACT WITH THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU ABOUT THIS! DON'T EXPECT A POSITIVE REVIEW FROM ME!"
>mfw
>lobby full of customers in complete silence
>she storms out, flailing broken ipad
>customer looks at me
>"she was a cunt"

and i had a hearty laugh.

>>558020104

I always have gotten fucking great customer service every company I've ever called, literally 9/10 go out of their way for me.

But I'm always super nice, interested in them, asking them questions, phone flirting with women, etc.

What types do you go out of your way for?

And, when being super nice isn't working, how do I crack the nut to get what I want--hang up and try again, ask for a manager, what?

>>558020010
Depends entirely on who's making it. It's supposed to be thin line in a v formation (with the two spouts it makes a w) as for the tortillas you just have to be lucky. It's supposed to only be held and usable for a few hours but generally we just leave them in the warmer until they are gone before getting new ones.

>>558019807
autisticfantasy/10

>be 6"3 19 yo manchild
>work at Target
>worst one in whole city because of area
>nobody comes in for the last 3 hours of work except one guy
>he's a regular and every fucking person knows he steals shit every day
>get call from door person to watch out for him cus he was heading for entertainment department
>I stand behind all the shelves so it looks like the whole place is deserted
>dodgy prick strolls around the corner, eyes fixed to the front of the store watching for anyone coming
>I'm standing next to him as he grabs a $25 blu-ray player and tries to put it up his jumper
>"hey, can I help you out at all?" in my lowest voice 2m behind him
>dodgy prick jumps a foot in the air and throws the player at me, sprints out the store

manager had been watching CCTV and called the cops who did nothing because he's a mental. I see him at least 3 times a week but that was the only time he tried entertainment. Next time I'll bust him with a store alarm.

>>558006735
summer job? asking for christmas?

>>558020962
Yeah I'm more worried about the ingredients and if I'm eating something that's foul and disgusting.

Also I love their fries, I don't care if they came off the floor I'd still eat them.

>>558020132
>>558019786
>asian guy
>wants more money
>I'll bet he's a jew
you can't even see how retarded you are so there's no point in arguing.

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>>558016747
I'd have put it on there anyways and told her you weren't remaking it.

>>558017237
Saved that shit.

>>558019001
5/10

>>557997718
>>558000752
How are customers simply allowed to shit on your business like this? Can't you call the cops on them or something? This is much worse than if they stole bubble gum and they get shit for that

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>>558017237

MOAR LAMAR NOW PLS.

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>>558018680

This would be the quantifying story that cements
THIS
>>558016006

as the reality of this thread

>>558017359
Thank you. Oh, thank you.

>>558002969
>>557997718
What the fuck is with people needing the bathroom and key and then shitting the fuck out of themselves? Is there something I'm missing? Because it seems to happen pretty fucking often

>>558004354
lol i would do the same, fucking managers

>>558003815
i don't get it

>>558000752
>I'll never eat skittles again.
Taste the rainbow, motherfucker.

>>558006226
what the fuck?

>>558007974
that was niiiiiiiiiiiiiice more plz

>>558011381
My fellow Iowegian

>>558017237

Lamar strikes again.

Lamar is about 35 years old, and as such, he's been an internet oldfag for the longest time. I found out just how much about two weeks after this.

>Get a new IP phone contract for a Fashion Bug distro center.
>They go total overkill and get enough equipment for 2000 phones.
>Jesus.
>The equipment was delivered to the site, but still needed to be set-up.
>This has disaster written all over it.
>Naturally, send out Lamar and a few heavy lifters.
>They get there, and begin to set-up.
>Lamar seems content to chill on the phone with me while he barks orders at the others.
>Niggers gunna nig.
>As they set-up, I just push out configs to the routers and the monster switch-stack and talk to Lamar.
>He tells me about how his brother tried to kill someone with a wheelbarrow
>Fascinating.
>Finally at last step. All that needs to be done is plug IP phones into the huge BlackBox grid switch panel.
>Lamar dismisses the others, says he'll do this himself.
>Tell him bye and let him work.
>One by one, a ton of phones register to our call manager.
>Lamar calls back
"Ay, man. I'm done here. Everything cool on your end?"
>Yep.
>"Map that shit. See if it seems familiar."
>M'kay.
>He laughs and hangs up.
>Map the ports to a virtual grid for documenting.
>Weird. Why are the port numbers so spread out?
>...
>No.
>You fucking did not do this.
>Only a couple of the ports were needed, and they were in a pattern.
>The pattern said. "Roody-poo"
>Fucking Lamar

>>558007161
your family? or your bosses? I thought they wanted to fire you, but yet didn't want you to quit? I'm confused now.

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>>558010213
Anyone working with a register should know this basic stuff. In fact, working a register has made me invariably awesome at counting anything between 0-100.

>>558007974
if that's the worst you don't know a thing about black fridays. You're a re-enactor pissing off the veterans who lost limbs and eyes to save the same scumbags and niggers who trample each other for this year's gimmick.

Why can't you people just say Nigger ?

>>558019557


Your boss was a bro to you and you still stole from him. Wow you're a piece of shit.

>>558025564
Lamar tells you about his brother trying to kill someone with a wheelbarrow, and you give us this watered-down 4chan nonsense?

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>>558003815
There's nothing that can prepare you for religious nuts.

>work at Steak 'N Shake
>Shake orders come in
>make shakes
>screw up sometimes
>fix screw up
>make more shakes
>go home

Low pay and hours, but it's a job

>>558026228
nigger is filtered on 4chan. when you type nigger it comes out a roody-poo.

you see? there are no niggers in this post. only roody-poos

>>557997271
>"pardon my french"
>smashes p´hone on the counter

comedy gold

>>558007974
I worked a Kmart for hardly a year, bullshit rules and standards. Fucking awful. Ive never hated a job more.

>>558017518
Lmao your landlord sounds like a badass

>work at amazon
>work sponsored absinth party
>cheat on girlfriend with sexy coworker
>never say shit
>see neither now
>feelsgoodman.jpg

>>558026536
Mine had the lack of standards but no rules. Just a lot of shitty BS.

>working at walmart
>i'm a stocker
>its 3 a.m so all the weird people come to shop
>see woman on a scooter
>she is going down one of the aisles i am stocking on
>suddenly the scooter comes to a stop
>she keeps pressing buttons
>its obvious the scooter is dead
>she starts yelling for help
>i go get the manager cause its not my job to deal with the customers
>he goes over and talks to her
>after awhile she gets up and walks out the store
>ask my manager what happened
>turns out she didn't even need to use a scooter she was just a lazy bitch

>>558010000
>the asshole really did get a better deal
Of course. It's not about how nice you are, but about how much others like you. He was a likeable guy, as most assholes are.

>>558003815
lol never happened to me at that job.
>worst waitstaff story
>stocking fridges on floors with snacks juice and milk and shit
>maternity ward
>regular stop for me
>usually for recovery and all quiet on the western front
>not today
>heard a woman who didn't make it to the delivery room, had to pass babby in her bed
>wasn't on pain killers
>swear to god I heard a woman die.
I have never heard someone scream like that in my entire life, it wasn't just one loud scream, it was a whole dialogue of "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE LET ME FUCKING DIE I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS PAIN PLEASE FUCKING KILL ME"
TV and movies don't even know what pain sounds like.

>Work as cashier at Walmart
>Over by the exit door
>Hear screaming, a ton of customers run to the doors and block exit Assistant manager and CSMs go running over
>Tells the crowd to leave
>Hear a woman scream "Not mah babee"
>Small black child is brought in, crying, blood on his face
>Turns out a twenty one year old brushed by a forty year old and the forty year old followed her out to her car
>While holding her son in her arms, she started physically fighting with the younger woman
>Boyfriend of the younger woman tackles the older one to the ground
>Kid's face slammed into concrete

I read the news article and apparently he was taken away by the DSS.

>>558011384
>or samefag
there are ID´s m8, maybe you´re the retarded on

kek, i just remembered that once all Mexico got all hyped just because some faggy kid posted this pasta on facebook

god, i hate this shithole so much

>>558011617
>Eau Claire fag here
You mean fat claire, amirite?

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>work in dairy dept of giant
>store is in hick-ass old-as-dirt christian-faggotville
>store going through remodel
>bread used to be in dairy aisle
>moved because fuck that
>asked about bread 300 times a day for weeks
>100 year old bitch comes up to me
>"What happened to all your bread?"
"It's in aisle four."
>old cunt raises her hands
>"I'm done!"
>She leaves the store with a cart full of food in the middle of the aisle
People get on me for laughing at old people but they're really just infants who are going to die soon and I have no remorse for making fun of their petty lives.

>>558004451
Jokes on you, I went straight into the tech industry so I didn't have to deal with any bullshit!

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>be me
>16
>work at public library
>old fat lady comes in
>nothing new
>asks about specific author
>lead her to the section
>hear her shoes squeaking
>on carpet
>after she was checked out and left I kept getting complaints about the room smelling like a dusty frat
>mfw that bitch darted at least 20 times in a row and I didn't notice.

>>558003076
skellington no wonder you sell bird seed to fat niggers...........prolly a fuckin skellington lawls

>>558003076
necropsy .....pfffffft

>>5580
Who was phone?

I witnessed this a few years back on Nigger Friday at Walmart:
>not actually buying anything, just people watching
>buying some goddamn cheetos and mountain dew or something at self checkout
>security alarms going off all the time
>one bitch walks out with two tvs in her cart
>alart
>fat 50 year old walmart "associate" weakly shouting over the buzz of voices "ma'am! ma'am! excuse me! ma'am!"
>too fat and old to pursue, puts arm out like she's going to stop her from 30 feet away
>I watched a woman just steal 2 god damned 50 inch plasma tvs and this fat old retard was too stupid and lazy to stop her

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>>558005526
>>558007161
>ounished
>ouniching

>be me
>be 19
>work at bestbuy
>co worker is stupid fucking cunt
>customer asks her the specs of a tv
>says she doesn't know and asks me
>I tell customer specs he still isn't interested
>she flips shit
>starts cussing me out
>telling me "I fucked up"
>tell her to calm the fuck down
>she starts fucking hitting me
>don't do shit
>manager comes
>makes it seem like I did something wrong
>manager asks girl what happened
>girl says "h-he hit me and made the customer leave
>manager says they do not stand for this
>fires me on the spot
>hit him In the throat
>falls down as I leave
>take my shit
>as I'm walking out spit on girl

>>558004354
Who was phone?

>>557997271
lol i work at a Walgreens and occasionally in the pharmacy, I wish I was as ballsy as him every day of my life.

>>558026579
A badass that apparantly forgot that I exist. I don't care that much, free living.

>>558014254
>mfw currently work at Wendy's as grill and can confirm the chili meat is gross

>>558003076
your first job was supervisor? What the hell standards do they have?

>>558018680
what happen at the end?? did you get fired??

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>>558028942
Why must you lie, anon?

>customer service rep at major cell phone company
>"thank you for calling ___ this is anon, how can I help you?"
>man starts screaming, can hear the echo of the room he is in "WHAT DID YOU DO?"
>I pause for a moment, "wat?"
>"YOU HACKED MY PHONE AND DELETED MY EMAILS."
>"sir, there is no way I could have done that."
>"YES YOU DID, I OPEN GMAIL AND NO EMAILS ARE THERE ANYMORE"
>"sir, just pull your thumb down in the middle of the app, it refreshes."
>long pause
>can hear his anger
>wheel turning in customer's head
>shit quivers in his bowels
>"FUCK YOU"
>call disconnects
>gives me an 8/10 on post call survey

>Work at Mcdonalds
>Late night, me and a couple of the guys in the back decide to dick around
>Start throwing pickles
>Turns into pickle ww3
>Pickles stuck to the walls
>Pickles on the grill
>Pickles in the freezer
>Got away with it

>>558009729
That's a toucan

>>558028942
and then you woke up the night after you got fired, screaming "THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE!"

>>558029728
>tfw that girl is the manager now

>>558018587
Also a Wendy's slave. I use those big plate things. Makes life easy as hell.

>>558029718
no u

>>558008610
Edgy prick.

>>558026342
That went something like this.

>Talking to Lamar while >>558025564
>"Hey man, I ever tell you 'bout wheelbarrow lake?"
>I don't think so.
>"Man that was a fun weekend. Ya see, me and my bro and his family went out camping with his neighbor. This guy is the nicest old white man you ever did see and got us this park spot for free. Maaaan, it was the best. Except for the fuckin' chingchang across the way."
>Oh boy here we go.
>"This guy was fuckin' awful. It ain't be just one thing wrong with him, he was just a doucher. Even made on of the kids cry. So my brotha got the bright idea to toss this nigga in the lake."
>It_begins.png
>"He waited till it got dark, cuz he didn't want this guy to go Jackie Chan-China Town rampage, ya feel? He took a wheelbarrow and some of those bungie hook things from the front office and ran back to china-man's tent. I ain't never seen a nigga run so fast. He grabbed China-man's 5-foot ass and tossed him in the barrow, then wrapped the cords around him."
>Why was there not a video of this?
>"So Jackie is losing his shit, and my brotha is booking it to the park lake, which is down this steep hill. Guess what? He trips. China man eats shit like 4 times and hits the lake like BANG!"
>Oh god I just listened to a snuff.
>"We fucking run for it, man. I ain't never been to jail and I ain't starting now. He rushed everyone into the car and took right the fuck out of there. Cops tried to find who did it, and were going to nail the guy who did it with attempted murder. They never got anyone, so I guess asia man was ok in the end."
>God damn.

>>558029718
don't engage them it only encourages them.

>Work at shitty corner computer repair shop in CO
>Stoned guys bring in their shit all the time
>One guy brought in his computer, saying it keeps overheating
>Open up the case
>Full of automotive grease
>Filled to the brim, as though he was casting a concrete step
>No fans whatsoever
>"Excuse me sir, but what sort of cooling are you using
>"I dunno, you need thermal grease to make it cool right, so I filled it with grease
>But this is grease, not thermal grease
>It's hot

I have more

>>558029718
i think it's a penguin

>>558030095
"you ever did see"
fucking love it

>>558019807
If anyone ever fucked me over like this, I don't know what I'd do, or where I'd draw the line. A supervisor threw me under the bus once and I got fired for it, I rekt his car during third shift three days later. I thought about setting it on fire but figured the cops would give too much fuck if I did.