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Alright /b/ It's a Sunday and I'm bored as fuck. 21,
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
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Thread replies: 255
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Alright /b/
It's a Sunday and I'm bored as fuck.
21, 44 or 29 decides what I do with this slice of bread.
>>
>>551286879
eat it
>>
roll it up and shove it in your anus
>>
>>551286879

rub your dick on it then eat it, with pics as proof.
>>
>>551286879
its Saturday night u faggot
>>
>>551287227
>This
>>
jerk off with it, make a sandwich and use cum as mayonnaise
>>
>>551287253
shove it up your ass
>>
>>551286879
Eat a hole through the middle and then fuck it. Pics aswell.
>>
>>551286879
>44
>implying.

Also, bread goes in the ass.
>>
Rolling for the bread going up your ass
>>
Just do nothing with it.
>>
>>551287450
Reroll
>>
Eat it
>>
>>551287438
reroll
>>
Wipe your ass with slice of bread and then eat it.
>>
>>551287338
Ausfag living in the future
>>
Eat bread puke up the eat again pics as proof
>>
>>551287554
Rerolling
>>
>>551287595
/roll
>>
>Bread in pooper
>>
Take half of the bread and shove it up your ass. Take the other half and forcefully shove it down the nearest person's throat.
>>
Put eyes on it and use it as a hand puppet
>>
>>551286879
If 21, you fuck bread.
If 44, bread fucks you.
If 29, you must write us a ballad confessing your carnal love for bread.
>>
put a stamp on it.
write "the white house" on it (could be on a sticky note attached to it).
mail it.
>>
>>551287821
WINRAR
>>
>>551287821
OP better fucking deliver
>>
>>551286879
cover it in chocolate topping, rub it on your nipples then ditch it at the nearest car while twerking
>>
>>551287821
WE HAVE A WINRAR
>>
>>551287821
Winar, give me a second to deliver
>>
>>551287821
Winrar
Fuck the bread
>>
>>551287253

>implying reroll
>>
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>44
>>
>>551286879
>put in blender.
>piss in blender.
>turn blender on.
>drink result.
>>
eat bread after you fucked it
>>
>>551287821
You have to cum on the bread too OP
>>
>>551286879
Use it as a fleshlight.
>>
Lel
>>
Okay as I am female, how am I meant to fuck the bread?
>>
>>551287683
If you live in Vic, I'm leaving the state... Cant be associated with the likes of you...
>>
>>551288148
roll in a tube. wrap condom around it. proceed to fuck
>>
>>551288148
piss into bread,freeze it, then insert into vagina
>>
>>551288148
Should've thought about that before you said you'll deliver, love
>>
>>551288148
shove it up there you idiot
>>
>>551288148
you roll up and put in boobs
>>
Magic.
>>
>>551288148
with your penis
>>
>>551288148
Roll it into a long shape and shove it up in there.
>>
>>551288215
Melbourne ahaha bye fucker
>>
up le but
>>
fuck the bread already, yes to bread porn
>>
>>551288215
Obviously from tassie cos only inbred cunts would do this. No pun intended.
>>
>>551288148
Bread goes into vagina, and mash it about until you cum.
>>
jessica
>>
>>551288462
I'm a Melbournefag too
>>
>>551286879
blow your load on it and then post you sniffing it
>>
>>551288462
Nnoooooo! Same city an everything...

[packs bags]
>>
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Years from now I'll look back and laugh, right now I'm gonna go shower for the next three hours
>>
>>551288821
>>551288850
This is now an Ausfag thread
>>
>>551288979
Op
Delivered
>>
>>551288979
Its beautiful...
>>
>>551288979
Dat yeast infection.
>>
>>551288148
First you let the bread take you on a romantic dinner. Follow that up with a cheap bottle of wine. Reject it as the bread tries to make advances on you and get mad at it. After the argument gently roll the bread into the shape of a penis and SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKING ASS.
>>
>>551288979
omg this is the best thing ever
>>
>>551288979
OP is not a faggot. Now post tits
>>
>>551288979
DELIVERY
>>
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>>551288979
>>
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>>551288979
Op shower like you never have before... w/ bread.
>>
>>551288729
No clue who jessica is sorry mate.

>>551288821
What area?

>>551288850
Haha adios, yo of little breadlove
>>
thanks op you keep /b/ alive
>>
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Kek
>>
>>551288979
Detail & wire brush... Inside AND out...
>>
>>551289223

Ascot Vale, you?
>>
>>551288979
Lol when i was 15 i had a gf that was kinda chubby. Her pussy was identical to yours. I miss it :p id eat it for hours. Ahh nostalgia.
>>
>>551289096
>My sides
>>
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>>551286879
fart on it then eat it
>>
>>551289096
Laughed so hard
>>
>>551289383
Heidelberg scum reporting in.

Also just as a failsafe that I need to put in place, if I know you personally, we do not talk about this.
>>
>>551289223
Enjoy your yeast infection.
>>
>>551289329
Dettol... Damn auto-correct
>>
>>551289642
so are you going to fuck this bread or are we done here?
>>
>>551289642
Safe guards are usually put in place first.

Enjoy never living this down, OP.

(Not that I know you)
>>
>>551289765
Are you literally retarded and/or blind.

>>551288979
>>
>>551289642
How old are you?
>>
>>551289096
Oh shit I forgot bread has yeast in it. Well fuck it, too late now! Do you reckon if I pour water, sugar and hops in there too then I could have vagina beer?
>>
Any other Adelaidefags here? I feel lonely :(
>>
>>551290021
must be retarded, left and came back, apologies to you op as you were.
>>
>>551290021
>tfw you'll never be retarded and blind
>>
>>551289995
The Bread Fucker isn't such a bad nickname when you think about it
>>
>>551286879
OP posts "It's sunday" and I immediately look at clock.

12:00 and 01 secs. OP is not just a wizard, he is The Wizard of Speed and Time!
>>
>>551290153
19 in two weeks
>>
>>551290183
Decided to stay in Vic... OP is starting a brewery!

10/10 would drink!
>>
>>551290229
My apologies, carry on then private.
>>
>>551290353
Could be worse i suppose...
You'll have to canvas the school yard to see what kids would you these days (given the circumstances)
>>
>>551290353
remember the bread fucker, op delivers
>>
>>551290518
Look out in the local bottle o carpark for the new vagina beer. Refreshing and infectious
>>
>>551288998
Darwin, here
>>
>>551290502
Up for anymore pics? If we roll?
>>
>>551290884
Call you... Damn phone cant keep up with my typing :(
>>
OP should post face
>>
>>551290940
If you make a stop at buntings on the way, you could claim it was 'on tap'
>>
>>551291231
BunNings

... I give up with this stupid phone...
>>
>>551291003
Nah buddy. I've already got breadcrumbs in my pants and a possible yeast infection, I think im going to stay away from bread for a while
>>
>>551291231
I see no problems at all with this new business venture. Let it commence
>>
>>551291401
Empty a few bottles of alcohol in there... It will kill all the germs!

> protip
>>
>>551291401
Breadless tits time
>>
>>551291401
relax, the yeast is killed when the bread is baked. You won't get any sort of infection, especially if you get most of it out.
>>
>>551291562
Thanks for that protip, I really appreciate it dude
>>
>>551291401
who said anything about more bread?
>>
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>>551288979
Op I love you & could rock your world so hard
> pic related its me
Time to quit fucking around with slices & get your self a whole loaf girl ;-)
>>
>>551291671
That's actually really reassuring, I wasn't sure how I would tell my GP I shoved bread up there.
>>
>>551291927
You're welcome!

>>551292020
OP demands a meal... Not a snack!
>>
>>551292020
Supreme Gentleloaf
>>
>>551292071
you're really reassuring.
>>
>>551289642
Funny. I live in Heidelberg too. But my Heidelberg is in Germany.
>>
>>551291552
... and we could sell the 'wash' / 'mash' to the Japanese.

I say we, because we are now business partners in this. You can have 51% for supplying the vagina.
>>
>>551292227
Your mum's really reassuring. Oh snap.
>>
>>551292484
my mother is dead
>>
>>551292339
That's actually really cool, damn our towns should be sister towns. Unofficial decree?
>>
>>551292071
Doesn't need an explanation, just screen cap & show GP the thread.

> MFW he remarks "oh, you're breadfucker"
>>
>>551292436
Alright partner I'm down for this. So what's our trading name?
>>
piss on it then grill it like french toast
>>
>>551292619
Definitely. How about you show your tits to celebrate this?
>>
>>551292602
R.I.P anons mother.
>>
Dude.

Why....
>>
>>551292769
You'd risk your extra 1% by making me think of shit...

How about beaver-beer?
>>
>>551292697
> mfw the GP turns around and is made of bread
> mfw I am impaled on the GP's baguette
> mfw he releases a sea of garlic bread sauce
> mfw when he whispers "yeasty" in my ear
> mfw I have no face
>>
>>551292935
Smoother than butter. I'll only show tits if you go into your town hall and demand we become sister towns with video proof.
>>
>>551292974
Boredom and deeply ingrained issues regarding breadrape
>>
>>551293231
As long as baguette not topped with sesame seeds... and it doesn't impact on our business venture
>>
>>551292935
do it for tits man
>>
>>551293381
It's Sunday today, it's closed. But I can go tomorrow or send an email.
>>
>>551293072
I do the bread fucking and PR, you do the marketing. Also Beaver Beer sounds brilliant. Maybe have a beaver nibbling on bread on the label?
>>
>>551293606
>being this desperate to see some fat chicks tits
>>
>>551293786
>Implying that it wouldn't also be a lot of fun
>>
>>551293554
I may be scum but sesame seeds are lower than I'll ever go. Well I figured we could add it to the flavour pot and get a more rounded beer
>>
>>551293381
show us your tits and the kissless virgins on /b/ will give you attention and whatever else gets you off
>>
>>551293934
>implying there's no other tits out there
>>
>>551293606
Damn wow. Go tomorrow if you're really that desperate and if it becomes official, I will make a full length porn video of me and the entire loaf.
>>
>>551293745
Possibly... I don't think we'll be able to print labels from the supplied content... Although... drinking age is 18...
>>
>>551293970
I'm 70% sure I know you, a 'friend' has shown me pics of u before

Your secret is safe with me.
>>
>>551294193
I'd watch that
>>
>>551294067
If there's a picture up within 5 minutes of someone else fucking a slice of bread, I may post tits considering the only people left in this thread are degenerates and 12 year olds
>>
>>551293970
We could always add a fe rabbits to increase the "hops". HUEHUE
>>
>>551294231
show us these pics you lying sack of stalecum
>>
>>551294548
Which am I?

> expecting anything else on 4chan
>>
>>551294548
I resent that statement. I am not a degenerate or a 12 year old.. Now get ya fuckin tits out or fuck off, good girl
>>
>>551294548
someone else fuck bread we need those tits
>>
>>551294205
They'd make us wrap the bottle in black plastic or shove a black box over it. I reckon Beaver Beer would soon replace VB as the drink found most in ditches next to the highway
>>
>>551294586
It was my friend showing me these pics you dumb cunt. I don't have them on my phone but they were like, 'wanna see the pics i got from x?" I was like sure! her hair/vagina/chub/skin colour is similar
>>
>>551294809

> implying we all want to see them
>>
>>551294967

lying bastard.. Kill yourself
>>
>>551294231
Goddamit alright. You don't bring this up and you don't tell anyone we both know. Cheers. Also, name of the "friend"?
>>
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Hey OP does this make soggy baby? ;-)
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>>551294928
If we do a bit of experimenting, we might be able to increase the alcohol content enough to sell it to petrol stations... And aboriginals...

The sky is the limit...
>>
>>551294549
That was absolutely horrendous yet brilliant. I am looking forward to this partnership
>>
>>551295195
Absolutely dripping
>>
>>
>>551295349
Of course, since nothing like this has been attempted before, it'll require a fair bit of trial and error to perfect the process... but I'm up for the practise.
>>
>>551295232
Just make it half petrol and we'll be sweet. Send those coons back to the dreamtime
>>
>>551295179
For anon's sake I'm giving out a few names, you should know.

The friend that showed me this pic is:
Matthew(Matt)/ Daniel/James/Josh.

Are you
Emily (Emma) /Sarah/Jessica(Jess)/ Stephanie (steph)
>>
>>551295573
Prove it
>>
>>
>>551295675
I'm down for that. Maybe try different types of bread?
>>
>>551295851
bread friend?
>>
>>551295741
...and the think of all those women that rent out their wombs for other people's babies... They could of started their own business and enjoy constant cash flow.
>>
>>551295783
Sorry to break it to you but honestly no. My cousin's name is Jess though
>>
>>551295851
Holy jesus I'm impressed. Continue with the bread porn please
>>
>>551295919
Absolutely... As well as different fermentation times, additives (for flavour), mixing apparatus, positions (don't want product leaking out everywhere), etc.
>>
>>551288979
FUCK YES
>>
>>551296047
We could employ these women and have a factory filled with ladies with bread up their vaginas! Oh I dream of a golden future.
>>
>>551295573
>>
>>551296565
Maybe hollow dildos filled with bread, with like a pusher thing on the end like a blunt bread syringe.
>>
>>551296383
How much regret do you think you will feel when you sober up or come down from your drug binge and realise you shoved bread in your snatch and posted it on 4chan for every creepy /b/tard to save and post elsewhere?
>>
>>551296669
Thats going in the spank bank
>>
>>551296383
>>
>>551296629
458 visas...

Or boat people... Then when they start asking questions, report them to immigration...

... what worries me though, is the quality and consistency of the product... you may need to go it alone, OP... For the good of our customers...
>>
>>551296915
I've been (painfully) sober for about three days so I'm honestly kind of proud of what I can achieve. If I was fucked up it would have been the whole loaf
>>
>>551296669
>>551297034
> my sides!
>>
>>551297034
Not even questioning why this exsists
>>
>>551297227
SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS
>>
>>551297227
OP... Can I buy you a drink?
>>
>>551297227
KEK ok well lack of drugs will mae people do weird shit :\

now i think you owe us all a timestamped tit pic
>>
>>551297152
I think we would have to have auditions. Also could the yeast mature in a dead snatch kept at body temperature?
>>
>>551297591
how about you Fucking deliver already?
>>
>>551297456
>>551297506
Get two cases of beefeater gin delivered to Olympic Park, Heidelberg then we'll see what we can do.
>>
>>551297591
Would have to be part of our rigorous testing regime.

> and in other news, disappearances soar in vic
>>
>>551297778
Did no one ever tell you that good manners cost nothing?
>>
>>551297872
>Beefeater
Muh nigga
>>
>>551297892
It would be a rigorous three day training schedule and only the ones that survive are quality enough to have our beer brew inside them
>>
>>551297872
That shit's cray-cray... No one will deliver to a public park... Not even in Australia!

Although, i could drop-off (cold-war-era-spy-style) to that location within an hour (including stopping a shops for supplies*)

* = gin and a loaf of bread
>>
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Sorry to dissapoint you op but I spoken for
>pic related my waifu
>>
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>>551298589
>>
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>>551298104
Beefeater's the shit, good drink is mix beefeater, tonic water and raspberry shwepps in a bathtub then just soak it in through your pores for days
>>
>>551298195
> have our beer brew inside them

WTF? Sounds so wrong... yet so right...

Do want
>>
>>551298571
Place the gin and bread on the swings at exactly 3.07pm, tap your nose twice then turn 360º and moonwalk away
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>>551298793
What the actual fuck is that
>>
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>>551298939
It sounds so animalistic and earthly. Like an ancient ritual.
>>
>>551299023
There are two things wrong with this plan...
>7min is not enough time
>can't moonwalk*

* but wish i could, that way i could enjoy the show as i left
>>
>>551299202
Bread
>>
>>551299413
You better make it enough time goddamit jimmy america is waiting on you! Well can you do the worm?
>>
>>551299372
Yeah... Using them as a vessel... Exactly like the holy grail.

>exactly
>>
>>551299489
I am so genuinely confused are there honestly people in this world with a bread fetish?
>>
>>551292071
If you want a yeast infection dump a bag of skittle in your hole and let them melt down for a few. Sugar causes that shit, not bread.

Thanks for the deliver, you have a hot twat.
>>
>>551299823
LOL... Nope, but i reckon it wouldn't it wouldn't suck half as bad as my moonwalk...

>expecting a white man to nigger-dance...
>>
>>551299906
Holy shit. Beaver Beer is the second coming. It will spread good will and lead Earth into a new era of peace and prosperity.

Also, what suburb are you from?
>>
>>551299985
Some people don't?
>>
>>551300135
I'll store that for later reference. Business partner, maybe we could get into making skittle vagina vodka?
>>
>>551300218
Wyndham vale. Bought a house here a few years ago. Lived all my life in eastern burbs... Donc, Temp, B'burn
>>
>>551300195
> implying you wouldn't do the worm as a primary form of travel if you cpuld
>>
>>551300397
Sure... They have those per-mix bitch-piss drinks in the bottle-o
>>
>>551300617
Damn, I used to live out at Hoppers Crossing
>>
eat it of course

shame on you if you do anything else. there are starving kids in this world
>>
>>551300793
Cool so when do we begin the production of Beaver Beer and Vagina vodka? I think the vodka will be the most fun because we get to stuff a potato into someone
>>
>>551299985
>ITT
>OP makes a thread dedicated to her bread lust
>She carcasses it she butters it
> she makes love to it as it gently rises in her oven
> now she prentends like she doesn't really care for that bread?
Mfw
>>
>>551300397
Count me in! If you get frisky we can use the sour ones ;P
>>
POOP ON IT
>>
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>>551288979
Op fuckin delivered.... Yessss
>>
>>551301165
What can you say. The best bread is a bottom bitch bread.
>>
>>551300627
Would travel by worm for the lulz

>>551301061
There are so many types to choose from... would have to experiment ourselves first, before going in to production.
>>
>>551301167
This business is a 49/51 partnership. Whilst we appreciate your offer, we regret to inform you that there are no more positions available. Good day.
>>
>>551301509
While we're a it, we could open a juice bar... Celery, carrots, etc, etc... Blending might be an issue though... we'd go through a vajayjay with every drink sold...
>>
>>551301509
Oh definetly. Maybe buy up an old warehouse near Pakenham? No one will notice people going missing from there.
>>
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>>551301445
Fuck you OP I'm making a new bread thread, Can you guess what my title image will be??
>>
>>551301792
Like boost juice! Yeah but they're unimportant. We can always get more.
>>
>>551301859
You don't want to start mass production straight away... Small scale boutique beer will get our name out there - then, global domination.
>>
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>gif related
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>>551302012
Make sure you put a link to it so I can rule as the queen of the bread fuckers
>>
>>551302153
Yeah, actually being serious for a moment, I'm fermenting some homemade beer at the moment and I'll see if I can get some beaver beer labels printed when it's time to bottle. Keep an eye peeled in about two weeks, I'll make a thread about our business.
>>
>>551302301
Queen???? Top kek you yeasty strumpet I woulnnt let my French loaf any where near you sour dough
>>
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>>551302301
First thing that popped in to my head...
>>
>>551302692
Like I'd want your measly french loaf. You're probably stale.
>>
>>551302619
Sweet... Would drink.

One of my mates (not too far from you) makes his own liquor... Had 1 drop of pure-strength and it was like a local anaesthetic... Made my mouth go numb
>>
>>551302926
I have no idea what that is
>>
>>551302692
>>551303245
Unwashed neck-beard...
>>
>>551303473
Galadriel from Lord of the Rings...
> not knowing who this is...
>>
>>551303304
Oh what suburb? Could start production haha yeah depending on what's in it, it's either like water or battery acid. There is no inbetween
>>
>>551303775
Croydon

He's mastered it over the years... Get drunk as fuck... With 0 hang over
>>
>>551303975
Oh thats pretty near. Damn no feeling tired or anything?
>>
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>>551304130
not gonna lie, funny how this all started over bread in a vagina
i luv u /b/
>>
>>551304130
Nope... First couple do nothing... 3rd hits you in the face like a brick. By the 5th you're about to pass out.

Wake up next morning completely refreshed, like the night before never happened.

The trick is in bleeding off ALL the ethanol. You only want the methanol (or I've got that round the wrong way)
>>
>>551304471
The circle of /b/. But I thought only me and my business partner were still here, how many people are still lurking?
>>
>>551304742
tons. do you ship beaver beer (not the vaginal one, your homebrew) to germany?
>>
>>551304742
134
>>
>>551304602
Holy shit I am definitely going to look into that, no hangover would be the perfect alcoholic drink seriously you could sell heaps.
>>
>>551304929
>Not the vaginal, your home brew
>MFW it's the same thing
>MFW i have no face
>>
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>>551304742
i guess i am, first for tits, then this whole thing started and im really into it.....
tl;dr didn't get tits....but i'm ok with that
>>
>>551305117
Costs him about $7 to fill a 700ml bottle.
That's cutting the near 100% alcohol down to about 55% and adding flavours, etc.
>>
>>551304990
... see...
>>551305391

Replied to wrong post
>>
>>551304929
Well then. Haha no because it's only just started really. We're looking into making pumpkin beer and currently about 150 test litres are fermenting but if we get the recipe right we plan to take it commercial. So in about a year or two if you see a new brand of pumpkin beer on the market, probably under a name involving the letter W, buy it and drink it knowing you saw a coowner with bread up her vagina.
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>>551288979
based as fuck
>>
>>551305791
This so has to be on your companies website in the 'about us' section... Quick, screen cap thread!
>>
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>>551305791
this is what i come to /b/ for, you magnificent bastard
>>
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>>551305391
That's actually pretty good for a nice homebrew. Here's one of the test vats of the possibly future Beaver Beer. Get excited ladies and gentlemen.
Thread replies: 255
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