i'm pregnant

I have AIDS

you can't tell anyone but i've been shooting heroin since last summer

I have masturbated to your facebook pictures literally every night for the last month.

i need to jerk off to you. send me a nude

>>528894601
reroll

We must have sex, or the world will end tomorrow

I'm pregnant

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>>528894645

And REDO

>>528894304
I've been doing mad 'roids

I have AIDS.

>>528894304
i like to finger my ass then smell it

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just fuck off OP

I find your mother sexually attractive

if we don't have sex tonight i will kill myself.

You me bed, honka-donkas

i've been collecting my sperm in a jar since i was 9

>>528894898
bump

>>528894645

>>528894304
I'm a girl btw

Have you ever thought about you and me and taking a boat out to the sea?

>>528894645
Reroll

I can't stop fingering my anus

Baby, let's put the X in sex.

>>528894645
reroll

>>528894304
>>528894851
"Stupid hot"

>lrn2standards

>>528894898
i would like to finger your ass then smell it

I'm having a website named 4chan help me to find a way to get you to show us your nude photos. Could you save everyone some time and just send them? Thanks.

i fucked your sister last night

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>>528894304

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACgBS0odTV4

>>528895180
winrar!!!

>>528894645

Just do this.

>>528895180
WINRAR

>>528895238
i would like to finger both our asses, then smell it

>>528895180
winner right here

I really like it in my bum

I have at LEAST 6 carrots in my butt right now, i really, really, REALY like to put things in my butt

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>>528895180
Waiting for OP to deliver.

opwillsurelydeliverskeleton.jpg

> "what now?"
Wow OP, she's really in to you!

Your message:
"I think we need to talk about you giving me some fucking respect, bitch."

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1 MB,

>>528894304
"i'm gay"

>>528894927
>

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No going back now /b/ros.

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>>528896076
This.

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Soon...

>>528896296
OP is total freak. Confirmed for authentic.

>>528896296
>>528896296

You're*

>>528896408
lol at .jpg

>>528896296
But, I thought you guys were ok with spurts of creepy.

AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

THIS IS WHY CHELSEA SAID YOUR A TOTAL CREEP

MAN FUCK CHELSEA

OP IS NOT A FAGGOT

you may not understand right now but i know you love me deep down. i'm coming to your house.

>>528896525
reroll

Calm down bitch, it was just a joke.

I have over 500 GB of BDSM child porn, yet I chose to masturbate to you. I think that's love.

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>>528896296
"I can't hold back the Spaghetti from my urethra"

I don't think she likes you mate.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo

>>528895257
thank you

*you're. Kill yourself, bitch

>>528896639
reroll for v&

So I was wondering, got any more pics? Chelsea said you always keep some on your phone.

>>528896296
She only said that because she doesn't want to let people on that we're fucking each other

>>528896714
reroll

Sorry baby, my friend send that.
You know how much I care for you; I would never say that to you.
Chelsea is such a fucking slut though, if she doesn't choke within a week I'll fucking wreck her vagina and murder her. Not necessarily in that order.

I can't help it if you're a total whore

>>528896818
this or this
>>528896845

>>528896296
Are you trying to get me in a threesome with Chelsea?

>>528896296
Please don't hate me! I only stalked chelsea for two weeks.

>>528896714

reroll

>>528896612
Reroll

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>>528896296
"I'd like to peel your arteries and snort the dripping rot of your remains."

>>528896745

rolling for this

>>528896864
reroll 4 sure

Meant to send to chelsea, sry.

Don't know why someone would be crazy enough to masturbate to your pics.

>>528896843
reroll

>>528897081
this

>>528897017
re-roll for both

I'm going to chloroform you and tie you up in my basement. When you come to I'm going to drill into your belly button. I'll pull out your small intestine and use it as a condom while I repeatedly mash my dick hard into the hole previously drilled into your belly.

>>528897064
>>528897081

op you chose

>>528896635
LE REDDIT FAG XD

>>528896864
reroll

>>528896639
reroll in this bitch

>>528896720
These words exactly.

>>528896745
This

>>528897081

ROLL

>>528897160
win

>>528896714
roll

>>528897081
rerolling

>>528896296
cmon now im just kidding. anyways, wanna go out sometime?

I was tugging off to the thought of you giving me a foot wank and accidentally shat myself. Used greasy shit for lube and finished

>>528896676
roll for this

>>528896864
the 'ol bait 'n switch
rollign for this

>>528896296

That didn't stop her from climaxing 8 times

>>528896296
Emily I love you so much. My penis longs to grace upon your eyeball.

>>528897231
reroll

>>528897457
lel that was quick

>>528896076
roll for this

>>528897081
Rockn'Roll

>>528897429
winner!!!

>>528897231
roll

>>528896296
Don't play games. You know you feel for me what I feel for you. Now come over and let's fuck like adults? K babe?

>>528897081

Rowl

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>>528897429
WINNER. OP THIS.

>>528896296
>Chelsea

Can't use a less common name to fake convos

winrar>>528897429

>>528896330
>>528897630
>mfw both rolling for the same thing get the same number

Wanna be my human toilet?
Pls respond.

>>528897231
rollin

>>528897429

Winner. OP DELIVER NOW

>>528897231
rolling

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>>528897819
>anon who roll'd that
>mfw

dont because I have fucking beautiful eyes

>>528897463
rolle for dis

>>528895039
rolling for this

youre probably right but fuck Im shredded

>>528897429

oh wait, it looks like we have a winner

>>528897457
Hey, I think you're very hot, and would like to stick my dick in you, but since I'm too beta to actually know how to talk to you, I decided to ask and online imageboard what I should text you.

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Speeding things up. Just realized I might also get stabbed over this.

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And the wait for Op Deliverance has begun.

>>528898537
i already shat in their chimneys

you need to go full zyzz on this bitch


captcha: proud fish

#proudfish

>>528898537
post picture of your phone too prove this shit is real, too many fake ones.

>>528898537
Those fucks? Bring it bitch.

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>>528898537
"OH BOY! Will they use their fat gentalia like grandpa?"

OP is a faggot and wont deliver.

just please let me pee in your butt

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>>528898697
Wow wtf...

>>528898537
good luck, just bought a mac-10 yesterday

>>528898537
Well you can tell Tyler and Sean I said they're both butt fucking queers

>>528898756
winrar

>>528898710

THIS>>528898710
>>528898710

no please! i just wanted to ask you to prom /.\
-wait a couple of seconds-
pls respond

>>528898537
You filthy little whore. Think you can threaten me?! I'm coming over to your house right fucking now and I'm beating the shit out of you! Once I'm finished breaking your legs I'm gonna use the blood to lube up my dick and tear that pussy apart!

>>528898537
Tell Tyler and Sean if they touch me I'll murder their families and eat their mothers' corpses. Do you fucking think I'm scared of you, bitch? You don't even fucking know what I'm capable of, whore.

Lemme just tongue punch your fart box :(

>>528898537
Sounds like a 718 bitch i used to fuck.
Same name too.

>>528898710
Rollin

tell them to rape my face after they beat me, i wanna gag on their cocks>>528898537

>>528898551
Since i was the first winner can I pick this?
>>528898712

>>528898710
re

'pls respond'

>>528899000
Trips wins all

>>528899000
nice trips

>>528898537
I'll rape you in the ass using their blood as lube

>>528899019
u mean the area code? u nyc too bruh?

>>528899000
This

>>528899000
trips though

>>528898987
On second thought, you're about 10 years too old

>>528898987
listen here bitch, I have a bunch of nigga friends from the hood who will not only fuck tyler and sean up, but will also run the nastiest train there is on your bitch ass

>>528898710

winrar


gittt op

>>528898987
nigger nogger chicken nugger

>>528899000
rolling in case trips isnt instawin

reroll>>528899085

Chelsea let me flick her milk duds while she gobbled down my primula with chives giggidy

come at me bro. tell them to bring the vaseline and the kid sisters. we can party.

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>>528899000
All hail trips

>>528899000

dem trips.
winrar.

>over 9000

>>528899000
You can't deny the trips omsnim nigger

Tell Tyler and Sean, Matt seen them sucking each other off.

>>528899271
roll 4 this

Winner>>528899000

>>528899000
noice trips :^)

>>528899226
yeah hahaha
If it's the same emily I'm gonna flip my shit

nah man they said it was cool

>>528898537
fake fake fake, abandon thread

>>528898991

your words make me wanna touch your fishwhistle

>>528899000

In op's quest for the lulz
one man was brave enough to roll the dice of destiny
one man, against an army of faggots

and against all odds, this man had the strenght of thousands. over nine thousands.

dem trips may rule em all

Dude hide the ducking keyboard when you screenshot this fake BS

>>528899524
you're

>>528894304
You think you can talk to a man like that?

Keep this fucking shit up and I will come over right this moment, backhand you, and rape you violently to teach you your goddamn place. You do not speak to me like this. The best you can do now is cooperate and enjoy what is going to be coming to you. The days of your cushy, entitled life are over, I hope you're ready to learn true humiliation.

Sorry. I'll make it up to you. I'll take you to a movie. Not a good movie though, I just wanna go for the blowjob

>>528899007

>>528899621
re roll

>>528899524
lmao OP is getting rekt, send this: >>528899000

>>528899000

you may not ignore the trips op

>>528899754
rolling for this

>>528899754
roll for this

>>528899524
you're*

>>528899804

rolling for this

>>528899000
OP is too pussy to do this, but roll

>>528899754
rollan again

>>528899754
re roll

>>528899000

wtf op is u a fagget you nevajh ignore tirps brah

>>528899524
You're

>>528899910

winrar

you have big ass forehead did you know it ?

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>>528900075
>>528899910
>>528900085
wasted by newfaggots

>>528899524
your just another chicken livered blind koolaid drinker nothing more

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>>528894304


www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACgBS0odTV4

>>528899720
REROLLLLL

you have a big ass forehead. your tits are lop sided. and youve got those love handles. youre critisizing me ?

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We done did it now.

1,9,12,21,35,60,92

"If you say my full name my life will be over, do it faggot"

>>528899524
You're

you know, it's always good to meet you in park, BUT ITS BETTER TO PARK MEAT IN YOU

>>528899271
reroll

>>528900551
I will finnish before the police come. I am 2 min from your place now

Shut your pussy up and listen. I'm hung like a mule and you're knobby knees greasy haired caked on makeup face needs to listen and listen good because I'm only gonna say this once...

LERDAHEDEHEEDEREETITILLYWIDDLYBIDDLY

>>528900551
>implying anyone would do something this risky
you faggots falling for this are retarded

>>528900709
Winrar

>>528900551
Call the cops, they can't unrape you!

>>528894304
I am coming over.

If you tell anyone, especially Tyler or Sean, I will rape the everloving fuck out of you and I will make them watch. I will be armed, expect me.

>inb4 troll

>>528900551
whats the fucking point of rolling 21 when there is 1 . Zeus

you stupid bitch i'll fuck the shit out of you and then shit all over your chest and the lick it off

>>528900551

All the cops in the world won't get the camera's out of your house! haha, i posted you all over the internet! don't fuck with me

>>528900756
Don't underestimate people.

i'll shove that gun up tyler's weak ass so deep the police will have to call for reinforcements

>>528900551
DONT THINK I WONT CHICKEN FUCK YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIENDS

>>528900609
That was quick

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:)

>>528900984
rolling for this

>>528900749
rerolling

>>528900551
well tickle my tits and call me samantha you're a feisty one, i go by the name of jerry hoff i wanna be your friend not your enemy baby

>>528900984
REROLL

>>528900945

reroll

I have a gun too bitch

>>528900830
Reroll

When I finish would you rather I wipe my shit covered dick off on your eyes or I just shit directly on your face? You choose

send her link to this thread

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>>528900551
You think I give two shits about a gun? I'll bring my own. You've always been a stupid cunt and I can't help but pity you, Tyler's too much of a weak pussy to finish shit. That's why when I come over there I'm going to make him watch while I rape your ass at gunpoint. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

>>528901038you stupid cunt the cops can't unrape you

>>528900945
Re-roll

>>528900551
We'll see how fucking clever you think you are when I am bending your broken ass over a chair and having my way with you in front of Tyler.

Who, by the way, I have a plan for if he pretends he has the nuts to actually confront me over his trophy whore, gun or not.

>>528901087
REROLL

(why do I never get picked for these shits)

Dont you dare think I will be the only one participating in the raping! I have 10 of the dirtiest, aids infected fags to help me

After I rape you and tylers ass I want you two to shit on my chest

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>>528901275
rolling for this

>>528901298
This

Here's a bit of my shitty standup material.

I'm just gonna be they guy who has a new gimmick every day.

Lets open up a standup comedy club if I get good enough at being funny, we'll build my comedy empire one martini at a time.

&&&Make jokes about your mom being a lesbian

$what if humans needed sex to survive like animals need good to survive, our actions are dictated by sexual urges.

I'm not antisocial, I'm just antisocial media.

What's the difference between a Puerto Rican and a Mexican? Hair gel, I don't even have a joke for that.

If you're pro slavery you should eat at mcdonalds, they're pretty close

I like my arguments like I like my eggs, over easy.

I like my sex like I like my eggs... With bacon

I eat my eggs scrambled though, that has nothing to do with my brain.

$Kids are like natures soap dispensers If the soap were spit and booger. Touching you and stuff.

Impersonation of a girl followed by impersonation of a duck.

Work is like making love. It never happens a lot and when it does you usually get it on your best shirt.

$I was just completely naked for some random moment in time

Thank god for all the disassociated rejects that run our nations healthcare system. That's who we're funding all this money into.

I want to go to London and talk in a fake accent for a month or two.

Girlfriend catches you watching porn what do you say? This is accident.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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>>528901275
roll

I want to stick my nose so deep into your anus that whoever could get it out would be crowned king arthur

>>528901260
Reroll this

>>528901401
WINRAR!

Next time i see sean, i'm gonna put my entire fist in his ass and make you eat the shit off. don't play with fire, bitch!

>>528900982
reroll

anyways, I was just joking. but what I wanted to tell you is that you have a big ass forehead and your tits are lopsided. and spaced too far apart. youve also got those love handles. and your ass is kind of saggin. also Ill just talk it over with tyler's mom after we're done making these muffins. nut muffins. have at it bitch haters gonna hate.

>>528901557

this

>>528901401
nice
>>528901275
rolling for this too

>>528901557
reroll

You could just send me nudes... Now

Great. So as of right now I have no ride to work, and the warmest it's gonna be tomorrow is 40 degrees and it's gonna rain.

This is why I want that ps4. If I had it I could just come up to my room and never have to talk to my mom or ria again. It'd be heaven honestly. Like you say your house sucks but at least your dad lets you watch your own tv and doesn't find some way to insult you every 10 minutes. Ontop of that you have edible food and a car.

But mines so miserable Lauren. I'm so depressed. You don't know the severity of the depression I'm hitting when I'm facing the dread of walking to work in the freezing rain.

And I live in a house with two people that hate me.

This is my life. Confined to a 15 X 20 cubicle of isolatory confinement while my little sister lives the life of luxury living in both the master bedroom and her own room which is basically a second walk in closet along with a second bed.

All on the grounds that "she uses the MASTER bathroom." And I'm suffering the consequences of being humble and trying to be happy with what's given to me and all my mom ever tells me is that I'm selfish.

While she spoils the only selfish kid she ever raised!

There's no pride to be had in a man who lives his life in defeat. I'm simply suffering the consequences of a fool who couldn't get away for college. Whereas every other kid my age who deals with community college doesn't suffer the humility an unfairness I'm faced with on a day to day basis.

Why was I given this life with a twisted callous mother and her demon spawn daughter who steals all the pride and recognition for being such a terrible person.

Am I so awful to deserve this?

Have I wronged some cosmic being for whom I know not what I have said or done to offend?

>>528901260
rollllllllll

>>528901651
reroll

>>528901401
winner winner chicken dinner

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

I'm sorry about this. I'm so sorry

>>528901260
This'd be gold

>>528901275
this