meme relationship and humorous break up thread. broke up with my gf this morning.
first, some backstory
>i own my own house since parents died when i was young and left it to me
>after dating for about 6 months gf moves in
>last month she asked if a friend of hers could stay for a while, had nowhere else to go etc. etc.
>sure why not
>friend is a mad man-hating lesbian
>always taking digs at me and shit talking to my gf about how men suck and whatnot
>this is while im letting her stay at my house rent free for a month
>since super dyke has been here gf and i have been arguing more than usual, and intimacy is gone
Anyway heres how it finally ended this morning
>cooking breakfast this morning
>making spaghetti because i feel like it, fuck you
>gf comes out and says it smells amazing
>"anon, whats in it?"
>tomato, onion, carrot, capsicum, beef....
>"really? beef?"
>yeah what of it
>"you KNOW dyke is a vegan, why would you cook breakfast that isnt vegan? thats just inconsiderate"
>because i wanted beef in my spaghetti fuck you, you can cook her some vegan shit
>dyke comes out of her room to see what the commotion is
>"wow anon, i always knew you were an asshole. see girlfriend, i told you that you shouldn't have someone like this in your life. men are all pigs"
>"gee dyke, youre right. anon, maybe we should consider breaking up"
>epiphany
>this relationship has been retarded since we first got together
>never going to go anywhere
>im over it and dont give a fuck anymore
>yeah alright gf, i agree. i think we should break up. this whole thing has run its course, it would be best to just end it and get on with our lives.
>"w-w-w-what? i didnt mean it, i just wanted to scare you. i dont want to break up"
>cont
>well i do. we argue over stupid shit like this all the time, youre a financial burden and have made no attempt to help support us, youve shown no real interest in moving forward in our relationship at all, and you havent shown me any affection since she turned up. i dont think it will work out long term
>dyke pipes up with "urgh men" or some shit
>gf is stunned, but realises im serious
>starts crying
>"okay anon. if thats what you really want"
>dyke:"oh girl its okay, you dont need a man like that anyway. ive been telling you that you guys should break up since i got here. hes a pig and i know you can do better"
>bitch i dont know what the fuck youre so happy about, if shes moving out so are you
>"what do you mean move out? im not moving out. you can move out"
>this is my house. get out of it
>"no it isnt, gf's name is on the lease, so you can stop lying and get out of here"
>what. there is no rent lease. i own this house. where the fuck did you get that
>"what? even if thats true, i still have tenants rights. you cant evict me for two weeks haha fag"
>youre not a tenant. you arent paying rent. get the fuck outta my house
>"what? i was giving my share of the rent to gf"
>she doesnt pay rent either, what the fuck
turns out my gf had been taking "rent money" and buying clothes and shit with it. meme.
>dyke starts threatening to smash my shit if i dont let her stay
>call buddy who is a lawyer to come over
>he arrives, announces that he is my lawyer and that any destruction of property will be taken seriously and basically youll get raped in court
>dyke starts crying as well, her and gf start yelling at each other while packing
>me and buddy play ps3 and eat spaghetti
>the girls start screaming at me that theyre leaving and theyll be back later with cops
>cool, ill box the rest of your shit up for you so its easy to carry
>they havent returned yet
>MFW this whole ordeal
ive got loads more stories about how stupid this relationship was if youre interested
keep going faggot, this pleases me.
>>685253131
Yes, keep going
Ylyl
Losers edition
>>685254910
I don't get it, it's a kid playing fallout on his comp in a public place.
Har har har?
>>685255151
Its a faggot in a leather jacket playing fallout on his desktop PC in a McDonalds
>>685255348
>Project much?
Roast me /b/
>>685252569
No need, nature already has
>>685252665
/Thread
>>685252665
Lame
Do your worst faggots
the last 2 digits of your post count divided by 3 is the amount of women you'll have sex with in your life
(round if you get a decimal)
32 women ayyyy
>>685254997
the fuck is a round woman?
>>685254997
fgsfds
Trips get sauce
Has
Pee
>>685252682
>>685252690
God I hope so
gif/webm rekt thread
im not really that black but id love to be black? :))
>b e me im a man
>be notblack
so if any of my /b/ros out there tonight on this friday morning can help a fellow friendo out with being black can they please help me?? I love you all im happy with myu girl firned :)))
>since you said you really want to suck a mans cock, heres hans
>>685252974
>there is where i rtype a really funny /r/4chan post!!!!! XD I honestly dont like pokemon I nerver experienced it as a kid so I feel kind of left out of that culture, y'know? It's not that fun to feel so left out but I can deal with it my man w
>>685253424
Nickel drunk thread continues!
where were we?
>>685261865
gary busey approves
>>685261865
Igt then boi wot cigs you smoke then?
>>685261865
>>685262086
Samefag
Waifu claiming thread.
Claim your waifu and discuss
Obligatory claim.
>>685260427
>Remove your clothes
Strange request from you spike, but alright.
>>685260322
>Worse than losing your waifu
Nothing is worse that that!
>>685260341
After breaking my limit so many times, I think I know it fairly well~
BUST A NUT INSIDE YOUR EYE TO SHOW YOU WHERE I COME FROM
Go crazy /b/.
>>685262409
By the way
>She is my cousin
>>685262409
Say some stupid shit again and bitch i swear to god next time i see you i will ram my cock so far up your ass your food will come back out your mouth
>>685262578
Reroll
Can we get a California thread in here? 408 831
yes.
ITT: FB friends you would fuck in a heartbeat
>>685252597
Quads and I'll recruit someone to WoW. All expenses paid for 4 months.
Deal
>>685260745
>playing alliance
>>685260745
Wouldn't play wow again if you paid me 50k
Feels thread please.
Got 2 copies of DOOM on steam, quads gets both em
plop
post proof that you have keys then i will roll 8)
Spaghetti anus
