Alright /asp/ (so not the WWE manchildren), you have been selected by UFC to step into the octagon for a 3 round bout with a gigantopithecus. You have 3 months to prepare.
You are not allowed to break any of the UFC rules, and the gigantopithecus is trained not to break them either. Its body is also entirely shaved so that you cannot grab its hair, and he is on a preworkout rush so won't be particularly slow/sluggish either.
What is your training going to look like? i.e. what martial art and/or style and what training plans will you follow?
What is your strategy in the octagon going to be?
>>1432133
brock could easily beat him
also, is he autistic?
>>1432138
Any WWE actor would literally die when pitched against a lightweight fighter from Belator or UFC, let alone a 3 meter tall 500kg primate on PWO.
>>1433228
But Bork won the UFC championship
OP is autistic as fuck.
>>1432138
>"b-but you have no reason to hate WWE fags"
>"hold on as I fuck up every NON-WWE thread"
You guys behave like cancer, spreading throughout the body that is /asp/, killing it in the process.
>>1432133
There is no way this can even be survived. Not by knockout or by submission. At best you could try choking it out I guess.
Steel chair to the head after a superplex from the cage because interspecies matches are no dq
>>1433274
>Wrestling fags are cancer to /asp/
actually, non-wrestling threads are cancer. Wrestling makes up the majority of this board.
The name isn't changed so that your wittle feewings aren't hurt.
>>1432133
What do a gigantopithecus' farts smell like?
>>1432133
autism.
>>1433311
>Wrestling makes up the majority of this board.
/asp/ was alternative sports until the tumor that is cancer grew and spread. Now, cancer is everywhere, but the foundational body is still alternative sports.
>>1432133
Become part of the Wyatt Family and help them with anything in exchange for their help
>>1433333
So whats with all the pretend knights and nerf gun kiddies that are hanging around then?
They arent sports
>existed, in what is now China, India, and Vietnam
That's funny because the Chinks, Dot-heads, and Zipper-heads, are all pretty short.
>>1432133
One dirty deeds and it'd be lights out
>>1432133
Probably something like this
https://youtu.be/6aFD3Ve4Dv8
And yes, I'm talking about [spoiler]getting behind him and fisting him straight in the asshole before pulling it out and to the side violently.[/spoiler]
>>1433789
You're not allowed to grab your opponent's butthole in the UFC.
>>1432133
>Join the Club™
>Bump the ref
>Have them run interference for you
>Win
>>1433768
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU-mKsQLWXQ
>>1432133
What weight class? Heavyweight? If so, he will be a hungry skeleton by the time of the fight, meaning I can pack on much more muscle than him to give myself the strength advantage. At that point, he'd probably just try to use the reach advantage so I'd have to use the counter attack, probably involving leg kicks to slow him down and score some points. If he takes it to the ground, I have the arm strength advantage so I'll probably be able to lock in an arm submission no problem.
>>1432133
He won't survive ten seconds against Hokuto Shinken.
>>1434004
You almost had it, you beautiful dumb bastard.
I got this OP. I'm gonna suck down to 145. The Gigantopithecus has been trained to obey the rules and do the same. He dies or fails to make weight, and I win by DQ.
>>1433891
Dammit, so close.
>>1433274
>he thinks that his /asp/ shit sports aren't cancer
UFC is cool though
but airsoft and skateboarding is cancer
WWE is cancer I enjoy
