Which great ape would be the least likely to randomly rip your face off if you were keeping it as a pet?
I feel like Orangutans are the most peaceful of them.
>>2053017
Bonobo
>>2053028
Bonobos are violent fuckers too.
Op, the answer is probably the gorilla. Orangutans are cooler too, but i've heard more stories of them being assholes than gorillas.
>>2053017
None of them. If a primate wants to rip your face off, then it's going to do it and that will be the end of it. Orangutans only seem peaceful because most of the interaction shown with them involves individuals that were raised by people, or at the very least were exposed to them long enough to become adjusted to human presence. A wild Orang would outright fuck a person up if the mood struck them. Males especially considering how they get fuckhuge and are territorial.
>>2053050
Yes, but the question was which is least likely to fuck you up, not which COULDN'T fuck you up.
>>2053051
The answer is still none of them. Primates are unpredictable.
>>2053054
It's pretty inarguable that a gorilla is less likely to randomly fuck you up than a chimp.
Gorilla wouldn't rip your face off, it'd crush your head like an egg.
>>2053017
orangutans seem too slow to rip your face off
orangutans will likely go extinct in our lifetime, ain't that a bitch, poor tooless bastards
>>2053017
First of all: please don't try to keep any of them as pets. Hominids are basically people.
As for the question, I'd say gorilla, or possibly a bonobo. Preferably a female, since those seem to be gentler.
>>2053075
Say that to my face you little bitch
>>2054584
FUCK YOU NECK-SCROTUM
>>2053075
Orangutans will rip your face off slowly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfDxg0pJAX4
Physical Violence
Chimp>>>Orangutan>Gorilla>Bonobo
Sexual Violence
Bonobo>>>Orangutan(gain two spots if you're redheaded)>Gorilla(Especially if you have nice titties or are the late Robin Williams)>Chimp
>>2053070
Gorillas seem to bite more than anything when it comes to attacks on humans. Which also doesn't happen much. Only two off the top of my head was on a woman who had been told her behavior acting towards a silverback on regular basis were aggressive signals and another one was a drunk a silverback.
>>2054593
being fat doesn't make you strong though
>>2054557
They make complex leaf nests, and copy human tool use. They seem pretty damn smart. It'll be a shame to see them go.
>>2055590
Being a pro sumo wrestler makes you strong as all fucks and even if it didn't it makes you heavy.
>>2053017
this one
>>2055601
they work out strength as well, fat dosen't make you strong
>>2053017
Humans, but I wouldn't even put it past us. Really, we're the least psychotic and least violent of all the great apes. If Chimpanzees or Bonobos or Orangutans became sentient they would have blown up the world by now.
>>2053017
Probably the nigger
>>2056177
We have guns bro
>>2055597
Not really, the main issue is that their wild habitat is being deforested to make room for palm tree plantations, since a lot of junk food calls for palm oil.
>>2055602
This is the correct answer. The gorilla takes the second place, though
>>2055602
WE. WUZ KANGZ N SHEEEIT
>>2056554
Lol, great meme!
>>2053050
>If a primate wants to rip your face off, then it's going to do it and that will be the end of it
Not what they asked nor is it relevant.
If my horse wanted to stomp me to death then theres nothing I could do about it either.
>>2055601
Sumo wrestlers would be much better if they weren't all fatasses. But since SUmo wrestling is a traditional sport then traditions probably won't ever change.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zjA3KPnLK8
>>2055590
Sumos aren't just fat, they're incredibly strong. remember, they have to be strong enough to move the other fat guy who's also strong to move them.
>>2053017
Fuuuck apes. People who get chimps and shit as pets should be lobotomized. After seeing that one lady get her face mutilated by her friend's chimp I just can't understand the rationale behind keeping one of those things.
>But they're family! They wouldn't hurt a fly!
>>2055602
If you travel into western and central africa you're much more likely to be assaulted by a local than by an ape, and violence pro capita is cartoon villain tier amongst tribal natives (1 in 2 adult males will die in tribal warfare/murder, which means 1 in 2 will commit manslaughter), i don't know if it's higher than amongst chimpanzees but i wouldn't be surprised.
Then there is the whole torture and mutilation deal.
APE DO NOT
Bonobos don't attack people, in general they aren't aggressive. They settle disputes by having sex, and females lead their groups.
Gorillas and Orangutans also don't attack people. I'm actually not sure Orangutans have ever attacked anyone. The Orangutan that knew how to get to Dairy Queen, knew the concept of being paid for his work, knew sign language, etc. was said to have attacked a girl, but he really just jumped on her back and she lost her shit. Granted, I would lose my shit too.
I think Gorillas have collapsed someone's lung and broken a rib. Both of these were Gorillas in captivity, that were highly agitated and provoked. In the wild, Gorillas have not hurt or killed anyone, and will only charge as a very last resort when defending their pack, not just out of nowhere.
Chimps are monstrous animals. They are everything bad about humanity wrapped up into a monstrous form that has super strength. They have all of our emotions and no control or logic over those emotions. Chimps tear faces off, attack people, break bones, and more.
There are also the Gibbons, who we tend to forget as "lesser apes." So much so no real studies have been done with large populations of them.
>>2057495
Kanzi and Chantek are insane.
>>2057495
The bonobo nightmare orgy is mostly a result of small groups in captivity, like the violent alpha wolf or the cannibalistic mantis, they are all misconception born from observing animals in a stressful unnatural contest, in nature bonobos behave more similarly to chimpanzees. They still bump nasties but not nearly as much.
A quick googling shows a whole bunch of attcks from orangutans, even organized ones with multiple orangus attacking workers and at least one rape. I've also found a bunch of wild gorilla attacks, so i don't know where are you coming from, maybe there is no confirmed deaths? Gibbons attack too.
