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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I found out my girlfriend of five years was sexting another man. I left the house earlier following an argument and returned to discover that she'd swallowed three boxes of painkillers. She's currently in the hospital having received blood tests and an IV. She has to stay overnight and won't be home till late tomorrow. I should feel sympathetic but I don't. I only feel contempt for both her and the guy she was talking to.
>>17344158
that was a pretty impulsive and selfish way for your gf to respond. i dont blame you for being unsympathetic
>>17344158
It's perfectly understandable that you feel that way, you should probably end this and find someone better.
Take her a "Get Well Soon" card inspired by this gif
I'm sorry for your loss, OP.
But you need to get out. I know it looks like she tried to kill herself, but she had no intention of dying. This was a very dangerous set of theatrics designed to force you into staying. It is a form of abuse, and you must not fall for it.
You were right to bring her to the hospital, of course. The law says you must: seriously, you could have gone to jail if you hadn't done that. And there is no need to be gratuitously cruel anway. But make it perfectly clear that you are through. She needs help, and your toxic relationship will only undermine that, so for her sake as well as yours, you need to break up.
>>17344165
your gf is unstable and manipulative. leave her at once. its for the better.
>>17344158
leave her.
move on
be happy
>>17344158
wow, you were lucky to find out. How long had she been doing this and is there more to it than sexting? Must be or she wouldn't have pulled this painkiller crap. She's worried where she will stay now
>>17344158
Drop her she lost respect for you and she is already looking to replace you but is afraid of being alone so she is keeping you are for the meantime.also expect her to cheat on you even more and leave you
No one takes three boxes of painkillers just to make a point, threatening suicide would have done the trick in that case, plenty of people do. Obviously she has deeper issues and I think your response is quite cold. If you think she's capable of OD'ing to get back at you then I don't see why you spent five years with this person, and if you don't, I think not feeling anything at her state is not normal.
Having said that, you were and are in no way obligated to stay with her. Not that anyone ever is, but she fucked you over to begin with. Just leave her and turn your back on this chapter of your life, let her deal with her obvious problems.
>>17344191
Inside the box should be 4 boxes of painkillers, since 3 didn't do in the trick.
>>17344158
DISAPPEAR BEFORE SHE GETS BACK.
im serious. get your stuff, and get the hell out. if you stay, you will be willfully entering a world of pain and suffering. she deserves no sympathy. not only was she betraying you, but she is now trying to manipulate you as well. she is lost to you, anon. she was arguably never yours to begin with. disappear, move on, live well. in doing this, your vengeance will be complete.
source: experience
>>17344316
>No one takes three boxes of painkillers just to make a point, threatening suicide would have done the trick in that case, plenty of people do.
This is true in most cases. But some people feel a need to take it to the next level. We have seen it on these boards before, and this case bears all the hallmarks. They seem to be increasing in frequency, which is alarming.
But she didn't do it "just to make a point". She did it to wrench OP's feelings around, using the protective instinct and guilt as leverage to make him feel as though he had no other choice but to stay. This kind of manipulation is what abusers do.
>Obviously she has deeper issues and I think your response is quite cold.
Yes, it is cold. That's what it takes to get away from an abuser. It is unfortunate, but for both people's sakes it is necessary. That's what happens when things turn toxic.
>If you think she's capable of OD'ing to get back at you then I don't see why you spent five years with this person, and if you don't, I think not feeling anything at her state is not normal.
Sunk-cost fallacy. OP spent five years with her because he didn't know she was capable of it: frankly, it wouldn't be reasonable to just assume that people were capable of going this far.
>>17344340
Did you miss the part where she took these pills after OP stormed out after a fight? Who's to say he wouldn't have gotten black out drunk and stayed out all night? It's not exactly unheard of to sleep at a friend's place after a big fight.
At the very least she willingly took the risk that she'd die over this. But I don't see how the possibility that she is an extreme minority abuser who doesn't just go to the length of threatening to end her life, but actually making an attempt that could very well end in death JUST to fuck with his feelings - is more likely than that she realized that her five year relationhship had probably ended, she had no one to blame but herself, probably combined with some lingering mental issues already present. The second scenario seems a lot more normal and likely.
That's not sunk cost fallacy, that would be if OP decided that five years was not worth throwing away so he might as well invest more.
Again, I don't get why everyone seems so dead set on this being a ploy. She took three boxes when it was not at all unlikely that no one would find her. You're right, it's not reasonable to think anyone would go that far.
>>17344330
totally agree. I had a crazy x pull this shit and I thought I could manage through it until she pulled a fucking pistol and threatened to kill me and her. I fucking thought I was a gonner but she fell asleep and I bolted out the door never to return. Know what she did fucking kill herself but she sure as shit could have killed me
