How do you heroically masturbate?

find a semen starved succubus and jerk off on her

then you'd be saving a life
other than that idk

Do it for the children.

>>17339352

With bravery, and might.

So here's what you do;
>Without masturbating, go a few months working on arm strength and grip strength.
>Get a 'utility belt' (A fanny pack with a hole cut into it..., for your 'batarang').
>Whenever you see a crime happening, run into the nearest phonebooth, and unzip the fanny pack, unleashing your super-identity, the 'Wanton wrangler'.
>Run out, gripping your lighting rod as hard as you can, in an attempt to shock any villains in proximity.
>Furiously masturbate over the wretched villains and leave them 'webbed' to something for the police to find.
>This must be how you fight your arch-nemisis, Anita Sakastico, and another of a blue haired ogre henchwomen.

NOw this post may sound silly, but as I read through it, I would pay to read this as a comic.

File: bruce.png (590KB, 973x767px) Image search: [Google] [Yandex] [Bing]

590KB, 973x767px

I put on my mask and my cape, go to the highest building in the city, play the 60s Batman theme ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWUn6tzOAwU ) and ejaculate on the people beneath me when I hear the last "Batman" cry in the song.

It feels good to finally tell someone the truth.

This thread is my new favorite thing.