Painful Loving
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So, I'm 19, Female (born male) and I get physical and mental pain whenever I feel actually in love. This started since the first girl I had sex with (14 at the time) , she looked very sweet and all but turned out really crazy and emotionally "abused" me (me being somewhat too much of a cuck to resist). I had trauma processing therapy and I thought it was pretty much done, had a decent amound of (actually good) relationships in the meanwhile.
now I've started dating a girl who I've been a good friend with for 2 years, and I constantly get pain when I feel lovey-dovey except when this happens with her around. I often find myself doubting her loyalty (while not even having the slightest justification to suspicion.) and doubting what I should do, leading me to freeze up often. She's very understanding and knows of some of these issues but I just don't know where to go from here
back to therapy, it sounds like...
>>17335499
I'm open for it and asked for it but my psychologist said there's not much to do about it except with an actual reliable partner that is willing to help. God damn that sounds like relationship therapy a 40yo bitter couple would have.
Humble self-bump
