Partners who wank
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
My partner wanks at least twice a day everyday. This has been going on for the two years I've been with him. More recently, he hasn't been able to stay hard or come when we fuck and fool around etc. This means close to all sexual activities I try with him that are in any way spontaneous end with 'I'm sorry I already came twice today' and a promise that he won't wank tomorrow to be ready (ruining the allure of 'spontaneous'). Is this normal fucking behaviour for guys? I really want to tear into him about it but I'm an absolute pussy when it comes to conflict. It's pretty much already started to ruin this relationship so I'm open to everyone's ideas on how to deal with this shit.
>>17331601
I read something very similar to this except it ended with the boyfriend breaking up with his girlfriend because she was a fat lazy fuck who couldn't bother getting in shape and that was a major turn-off for him so he just stopped fucking her.
So OP (and not that I'm trying to put you down or anything, but) are you a fat and lazy fuck who has recently become totally undesirable to your partner? Is there a reason you can think of as to why he would rather jerk it than fuck you?
>Is this normal fucking behaviour for guys?
I've heard of men who are in comfortable relationships with their female partner but sometimes they just prefer their own hand for a quickie than having to actually fuck another human being. It's the convenience and comfort of it all.
>It's pretty much already started to ruin this relationship so I'm open to everyone's ideas on how to deal with this shit.
have you tried talking with your partner about it
how about mandating that the two of you have absolutely no sexy-times and absolutely NO MASTURBATING FOR THE BOTH OF YOU for a full week?
If he considers fapping better than sex with you then that's a problem that needs to be addressed
>>17331610
I'm pretty much the opposite of a fat lazy fuck, luckily. I run every day (something he says he'll always do with me but never does) and whatever I want in my current stage of life I usually work my ass off to get. He's always saying how sexy and gorgeous I am. I don't think the problem is me physically, though my attitude about sex now is a little snarky due to all this.
I honestly think he may be one of those people and for awhile I was content with it. Now I'm not. He's shown me he wants to have sex sometimes but it's almost like he can't stop himself from jacking off. I'm competing with his right hand.
Whenever I try talking about it with him he just promises he won't masturbate again until we have sex. Then, since I'm usually incredibly pissed after all this, I don't have sex with him. Then he usually wanks because I don't want to have sex. I think that no masturbating for a week thing might help, or at least show him that I have a problem with all this. It'll give him a date at least to hold his word to.
>>17331631
You put it that way and it becomes frightfully clear how much I do need to talk to him about it. At least get to the roots of why.
Maybe you're just ugly
>>17331724
I guess we'll never know.
>>17331601
>Is this normal fucking behaviour for guys?
No. But it's not entirely abnormal either.
Some guys can jerk off 5 times a day and still please their girlfriends. Some guys can jerk off twice and not be able to get it up for at least 24 hours. If your boyfriend's masturbation is getting in the way of your sex life, you need to talk to him about it.
Slip a device like this on him.
I fap about 3-5 times a day for the past 10 years and still fuck my girl even after I've fapped 5 times.
maybe try viagra or something?
Most probably he has Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction. Due to the extenseive fapping and the porn his brain shifted from getting turned on by your body into getting turned on by porn (either videos/images or from imagination). In extreme cases even having a 10/10 gal on your bed with legs spread open and practically dripping may not be enough to cause arousal.
The only true cure is to cut out the porn and masturbation. Though even if he cuts it out it may take anything from a month to a year for him to get his erection/libido back. Having a girl around helps tremendously with the healing process.
Google about it to learn more.
>>17331638
What does he do in his daily life I as a guy can rarely get two faps in one day unless i aint got shit to do and start wanking the second time out of boredom or quick gratification instead of hornyness
>>17331638
Well did you for once think he might be intimidated by your "sexyness"(pics or its not true)? The snarky attitude doesnt help much. Maybe try making it sound like you enjoy having sex with him.
If a guy ever feels like he cant properly pleasure you he will take the easy way out and jerk off. Why? Because there is no one else involved in masturbating.
Also your boyfriend sounds like a lazy sack of shit. I had a girlfriend like that, I dumped her lazy ass. Needed someone with ambition and a fiery passion to be the best.
>>17331601
Sounds like a trust issue. He doesn't trust you with his sex life. Maybe you were dismissive or disgusted about something he likes, or maybe you don't show enough appreciation for his body. Alternately maybe he's just lazy and not worth your time.
Well the problem is him OP, not you. I had to go to therapy because my ex was the same. He was a full blown addict though, blowing money on it and being annoyed if I was around too often because it meant less porn time. I am not ugly or fat but it took a huge hit to my self esteem.
Sex is an important part of the relationship and for whatever hidden reasons, he won't completely share his sexual life with you. He selfish too, make no mistake.
Do not let anyone on here tell you the problem is you, it's not, it's completely him.
Talk to him and talk to him once about it. Only once! Tell him you need to talk to him and make it a very serious talk so he understands the situation completely.
If it doesn't improve within days... even a week then leave asap. Please trust me. I wasted years with someone who was addicted to his hand and porn instead of focusing on our sex life.
Sex is better with someone who doesn't rely on porn or masturbation for sexual release. My current boyfriend is a 100 times better than my ex in bed and overall a nicer person, not to mention a lot more honest and open. My ex was always on edge around his computer and phone, he would always use private browsing and delete history. It just felt so shady with him because he was overly private with me, and that made me feel locked out parts of his life. My current boyfriend is an open book, different worlds and we have a much healthier relationship than I did with my ex.
My advice?
Run. Don't look back because it will always be shit or mediocre with him. Chronic masturbaters make bad partners. If you can't just break up yet because you have hope, then tell him to seek help. I stuck around for more than I should have and I regret that I gave him so many chances without him addressing his issues.
>>17331820
Yes and post about your experience. Also, if he isn't ready to fuck whenever you need it, tell him you guess it's your turn then, and get the strap-on!
>>17331638
>he just promises he won't masturbate again until we have sex
>since I'm usually incredibly pissed after all this, I don't have sex with him
>Then he usually wanks because I don't want to have sex
Yeah it sucks he can't reduce the fapping a bit so he has a bit more stamina for you, but from what you said it looks like you're part of the problem.
>>17331601
Wow that sucks op! I'm going through the same except mine won't even admit to his wanking. I had to go into his torrents too see how bad and there was some nasty shit in there. Like step family and teen stuff (he's older so ew) I don't know how to handle it either and now it's hard for me to get turned on know what a perv he is. I guess talking to them is the only choice. I've never had another bf watch that much porn before if any, so I don't think it's normal either. If they can't get control of themselves then find someone better! Good luck!
>>17332695
also my old gf used to pull shit like this:
>says shes not in the mood when I make advances
>says we'll fuck at x time and not to wank until then
>don't wank until then so I'm at max horniness
>she finds an excuse
>have no fucking idea when we're gonna fuck and can't rely on her for my sexual needs
>say fuck it and resort to wanking whenever I'm horny
