Even the hedonism won't take my mind off my ex anymore.
Why did she betray me?
Why does she get to be happy now?
It isn't fair, and I'm not sure if I can keep pretending it isn't bothering me.
Mark my words, only time will help. Keep going, and stop looking at her online stuff.
>>17326274
I know, but what am I meant to do right now when I hate waking up.
Sex doesn't help
Sleep doesn't help
Reading doesn't help
Only playing guitar helps sometimes.
Life isn't fair and things don't have to have reasons to happen. Hedonism is a poor distraction compared to improving yourself. Stop indulging your pathetic impulses and mold your situation to your liking. Life takes work and most of the effort you put in you will not get back.
>>17326265
how did she 'betray' you?
>>17326265
>Even the hedonism won't take my mind off my ex anymore.
That never works. You need new things to think about; hedonism only reminds you of the old things.
>Why did she betray me?
You will probably never know.
>Why does she get to be happy now?
>It isn't fair
That's right. It isn't fair.
>and I'm not sure if I can keep pretending it isn't bothering me.
That's why you need new things to think about. Transform your headspace into a place where it is possible to think about other things.
Everyone has a backlog of things they'd always thought would be neat to learn, but never got around to. Take some things off of that list. I don't recommend artistic pursuits -they backfire too easily- but almost anything else will do. Especially things that require you to learn a lot of new information. Your brain is craving it.
I am sorry to hear that you're hurting. I don't know what your ex did to you, or how she found happiness later on. But she left you behind, and now it is time to leave her behind.
>>17326279
Join the church band, so you can play guitar and not be involved in vices; you look like someone very prone to vices. No need to be catholic either.
>>17326274
>Mark my words, only time will help.
Time and distance. Don't forget distance; you need both. Clinging will keep the pain fresh no matter how much time passes.
>>17326279
Keep at the guitar. Maybe write a song with what you're currently feeling; play it at an open mic in some cafe.
>>17326282
That has always been my philosophy, but I feel aimless.
I'm studying animation but even though I like it, it doesn't 'feel' right.
I want to devote all my time and energy towards music. But I don't know where to start.
>>17326283
She said Bob Dylan was bad.
Oh and she also made plans to go fuck some guy, told me to kill myself, blamed her unhappiness on me and lied about an important court date.
Then she came to see me drunk and blamed it on bpd.
>>17326290
I would but I played in a church band all through high school, so those lame chord progressions give me ptsd
>>17326287
This is very concise, thank you.
What would you recommend?
I was thinking paper cut-out animating, or birdwatching or circuit bending.
>Why does she get to be happy now?
Why shouldn't she? She moved on.
>>17326312
I have a band going on, and I've written a bunch of songs about it, and that helped for a little while.
But now it feel like I am empty, dead and out of songs.
>>17326348
No. She still calls and messages. I don't know why.
But it ruins my whole day.
>>17326333
so you went through something that most everyone goes through (and most everyone does) at some point in their life. it sucks, and while it is a betrayal, just say 'she cheated' instead of 'she betrayed me'. you are hyping this up to not only be the biggest thing in your life, but the biggest thing in everyone elses too.
don't. people cheat. we suck at monogamy and the current culture has made it quite a bit more difficult than ever before.
what she did sucks, and it sucks to suck, but this is barely going to be a blip in the radar of your life once you get past it.
>>17326372
You're probably right, but I also find it very diffocult to care about anyone even a little, so this is jarring. Going from something emotions wise back to nothing.
I never cheated. I could have. I didn't. I don't suck. She sucks and I feel like an idiot because of her.
How hard is it to just not fuck someone else?
>>17326265
Dude she's not happy. One day it'll all come crashing down
Never fucking pretend like it doesn't bother you.
No, you shouldn't wallow in sadness and hide in your house, but you shouldn't act like it has had no effect on you either.
The sooner you can truly accept that what happened really sucks and that you need to time to recover, the sooner you'll be able to move forward in the grieving process and become your own person again.
Talk to friends if it helps, go out and do stuff, if you're feeling low then take some time out to chill and reflect - whatever you gotta do. Just don't fight the waves too much and eventually they'll just become little ripples.
>>17326333
Lol I had a chick blame her shitiness on BPD. It's tumblr bullshit. It's not a pass to treat people like ass. Fuck that bitch
>>17326399
I really, really hope so.
>>17326379
you'd be surprised. you are young and think that your stated values reflect your life path but you will find yourself doing many strange things you never thought you would. i was like you. hella pissed when i was cheated on. said its impossible for me to ever do such a thing... then i cheated.
it sucks to suck but it happens. people make mistakes. by your own account she was also a shitty person outside of this so the fact that she cheated should be the least of your concern.
people like to say 'I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO CARE ABOUT ANYONE EVEN A LITTLE' but its BS. you care about as much as anyone else does.
>>17326420
No, I mean I was clinically diagnosed with lower than average empathy at 17.
But I guess that's pretty whatever.
I disagree, I feel like if I haven't cheated once in 8 years despite multiple opportunities, I can't see myself ever doing it.
It is simply too ingrained in my "meness"
I feel incredibly ugly too as of late which is troubling. How do I get over that?
>>17326439
>meness
dafuq is that?
>>17326456
It's not an actual word, it's me+ness.
As in your true self.
>>17326265
Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature
I haven't tried but maybe it works
>>17326468
i took it as 'men+ness'
>>17326468
that being said,. my whole point was how someone who thinks that highly of themselves will find them in many odd places. you're still young. im not saying look forward to cheating, but you never know what you're going to do in life. even you cant predict your own actions.
>>17326482
No I understand the sentiment and it is wise.
Never say never right?
>>17326563
ur very open minded, especially considering what you've been through.
i think you're gonna kick this break ups ass if you want to.
just think of this as another filler episode, but not the season finale. good luck man.
>>17326585
Thanks dude.
I think I'll be fine. This is just the struggle the protag goes through before the resolution
>>17326877
i just read that as the potato goes through.
that being said, i think you completely disregarded my last bit.
this isnt the struggle before the resolution. this is your filler. dont let relationships define your life. dont let break ups and getting togethers be the climax of your story.
do you really want the resolution to your journey to simply be getting over a girl? dont let your story be dictated by the most fragile of human relationships.
let yourself be destined for a much greater journey.
>>17326362
Block that bitch man.
>>17326333
If this is true, make it clear to yourself that she wasn't a great person all in all. Be truthful about the relationship - the mind has a dreadful tendency to romanticise the past as this wonderful, blissful time of happiness when most of the time is simply not the case.
My ex has a new bf recently and it really stung, but thinking very logically I know that we broke up for a reason; we weren't very similar in a lot of ways, and I wasn't that sexually attracted to her. Lovely company and kind, but so uninterested in what I was into, and vice versa.
Looking forward to the future allows the past to become less significant. Encourage yourself every day, always praise the positives, and know that, statistically speaking, there ARE(!) thousands of girls that you will be more happy with out there just waiting to be found.
>>17326891
Totally.
That's how I was seeing it.
Not getting over this particular relationship, but getting over my habit of putting certain relationships on a pedestal.
I'm going to make great music, and that's all that matters
>>17326439
You're probably not ugly.
>tfw sociopathic and don't have to deal with this shit
HAHAHAHA suck it normies
>>17328233
I'm actually half way there.
