I am just asking myself this question lately because a lot of stuff has happened, basically my standards for a woman are ridiculously high (could explain them but cbf) but I am a virgin, I am just wondering if I should "save myself" or just forget about that idea.
It's mainly the fact that looking into it the chances of me finding a woman good enough for me could actually be very low, I guess I don't mind dying alone if their is nothing I can do to help it but I don't want to die a virgin
Should I just go for casual sex while waiting out for a potential relationship? I don't really feel like it would fill me with too much guilt if I were to find someone and had of thrown my virginity away.
You'll grow out of it as you mature. Eventually you will realize that sex is just sex and not give a fuck about your or her virginity.
I suggest you go to a hooker to cure your virginity and give you confidence.
>>17325383
Yeah I have heard a lot about virginity and sex being meaningless it's just the fact I used to think that virginity was worth a whole lot so its somewhat of a conflict I haven't fully decided on yet
>>17325376
You'll probably get neither if you actually try lol
>>17325395
You're getting fucking banned, I hope it was worth it you fucking idiot.
>>17325395
The issue is my relationship standards are extremely high, it's not exactly I am thinking of sex as a right of passage anymore it is more like sex is a pastry in the bakery of life, I might not like it when I try it and it might not even be filling but I want to taste it at least once in my life, if I say to myself "I will only buy that (sex) pastry if I can find a triple glazed cream filled (relationship) pastry crafted by god to buy it with" what do I do if that pastry never gets delivered?
>>17325405
What is with this animosity towards a poster in my thread please sir >>>/out/
>>17325417
Not that anon, but they are an avatar-fag and honestly should be reported.
>>17325425
Well I don't frequent this board I just assumed it was some random spergout
>>17325383
slut detected
>>17325376
OP, what are your standards?
Honestly, you should worry about working hard enough to be good enough to get with a girl like that, if your standards are really high.
You could as well have casual sex, but a lot of people find it off-putting.
>>17325512
My standards
>Must be faithful
>Must not force me to change my interests
>Doesn't have to be right wing but can't be extreme left wing (SJW etc)
>Is tomboy (at least mentality/personality wise don't mind whether or not they look tomboy)
>Isn't weak mentally/psychologically (I want someone I can fight with but in a healthy sort of way)
>Is fine with just being with me (Like is happy even just doing simple things with me)
I could add more but I think that's a lot of the main things I basically just want a female version of myself desu
>Should I bundle relationship and virginity goals together?
Ideally, you shouldn't have "virginity goals" at all: things will happen when they happen, and taking steps to accelerate that process usually wind up doing more harm than good. But in practice, I suppose this is more or less the same as bundling it together with relationship goals.
>>17325537
>I basically just want a female version of myself desu
I think that this is the biggest mistake that people who never had a relationship do - a female version of yourself will be great at the beginning, and good moments will be really good, but it will never work out because being with someone like you is fucking hell - all your flaws are twice as bad when you have to deal with someone who doesn't compensate them at all. Instead of finding someone super compatible, find someone that compensates your flaws.
My best friend is a male version of me (same job, same hobbies, same sense of humour, same taste for media, identical personality, etc) and I love him a lot, but I'd never date him because we are too similar - we both love pissing people off on purpose, we are both stubborn as hell, both extremely competitive, both arrogant, both hate asking for help, etc, etc. If we ever had an argument or a bad moment in the relationship, we'd stab each other.
Reconsider your standards a bit.
>>17325540
I keep hearing the
>things will happen when they happen
Type answers I don't think its really that way, things might "just happen" if you are lucky but there is a good chance they won't if you don't actively go out of your way. I am already out of high school and such (where most of this stuff "just happens") so I feel like unless I go out of my way now I will be one of those 40 year old virgin channers going "Well ya see I was waiting for a girl to approach me"
I guess things could still happen without me trying but they could also just as well never happen unless I try, I don't want to risk that
Real advice: I lost my virginity to a girl that had plenty of my standards, it was just...sex. Stop romanticizing that, you'll get over it as long you get some maturity.
>>17325543
I am a very narcissistic person only someone as good as myself will do people that are too different to me I can't get along with but when I say a female me I don't mean it in the literal sense just ideologically and mentally I want them to be the same as me I don't mind them liking some hobby I don't like or something I just want them at a basic level to be like me they can still have their own little things to them, its mainly the faithfulness part I want the most and I would guess only 1-5% of people have the sort of drive to remain faithful to another person for a lifetime
>>17325558
>I am a very narcissistic person only someone as good as myself will do people that are too different to me I can't get along with
>ideologically and mentally I want them to be the same as me
Different doesn't mean inferior. Differences are what make relationships interesting - I'm not saying to date someone who is your polar opposite, but it's cool to be around someone you can learn from and you can't learn shit from someone who just agrees with you. Discussing makes you grow up and it makes every day interesting.
If you don't get along people different from you, you have some issues to solve before entering a relationship.
> I would guess only 1-5% of people have the sort of drive to remain faithful to another person for a lifetime.
That's not true.
Some people cheat because they like cheating, but most people who cheat do it just because things in the relationship aren't working but they still don't want to leave the security of a relationship. I can't think of someone who cheated in a healthy relationship.
As long as you are able to communicate, you keep the relationship interesting, you make the other person feel valued and you have sex, your partner won't cheat. If you stay together just because it's better than being alone and you've been together for so long, then, yeah, they'll cheat. You don't need "drive" to not cheat, you need some drive to make the relationship work.
>>17325593
I've already reached a point where I have found the answers to all the shit that bothers me in life I have been arguing with myself and reached peak ideological maturity anyone who is significantly different to me is inferior in my eyes but when I say I can't get along with them I mean it in a romantic sense I can still interact with someone like that on a frequent basis I just wont want them as a friend or partner
I have the drive to make a relationship work but its a two way street I have to find someone with just as much of a drive as me to make it work I don't want it to be one sided like all those guys who have to commit all their time and resources just to keep them from leaving.
>>17325609
>reached peak ideological maturity anyone who is significantly different to me is inferior in my eyes
Which is extremely immature. Your answers aren't the only correct answers - if someone has a different point of view you should respect it, and try to discuss about it and learn from it. If you're so convinced you're right you should have the ability to discuss about the reasons why you're right.
>all those guys who have to commit all their time and resources just to keep them from leaving.
Relationships ARE a commitment. If you don't want to commit time and resources to your relationship, don't get any. If you want to date someone you have to spend time and resources on them, and limit the time and resources you spend for yourself. Living like a single while having a relationship doesn't work. The point is that it should be a pleasure to spend time and resources on your partner.
>>17325558
This reminds me of that time on Seinfeld where Jerry finds a girl who is basically the female version of him. They get along great at first but they eventually get bored with each other.
>>17325555
Quads of truth right here - sex doesn't matter so much as all the emotional stuff that comes with getting in a relationship. Work towards your relationships, but working towards losing your virginity is pointless IMO.
>>17325546
>Type answers I don't think its really that way, things might "just happen" if you are lucky but there is a good chance they won't if you don't actively go out of your way.
I think you may have misunderstood me. I said you shouldn't have virginity goals, yes, but I did not say that you shouldn't have relationship goals. Focus on those, and your virginity will be taken care of in due time.
Trying to focus on both at once is counterproductive. Even having "virginity goals" past the age of 16 or so pushes women away: it speaks to an obsession with sex as an end in itself that many women find creepy. You can get away with it at 16 and under because virtually everyone in that age bracket has these goals, so there is no real choice other than to put up with it. But once you're in an age bracket where other options exist in significant numbers, those options become the preferred options very, very quickly.
In other words, I'm not telling you to be passive. Act, but act judiciously. This is a case where you can accomplish both of your goals by pursuing only one, and moreover, it's actually more effective to do it that way. Cases like that don't come up very often in life, but they do happen sometimes, and this is one.
>>17325537
This is not necessarily unrealistic, but like most women, they won't approach unbidden: you have to go where they are. Your best chance of finding someone like that is probably at a divinity school: find someone studying to be clergy or a theologian.
>Must not force me to change my interests
What do you mean by this? I ask because depending on your situation and your definitions, this may be the hardest criterion to meet.
>>17325546
you don't seem to understand just how long 20-30 is and how much you go through during that time
but yeah, sure stick your dick in something for the fuck of it, seems guys are all about integrity and purity unless it involves their dicks.
>>17325376
Nah don't bother OP. Live by your own standards. Most people are degenerate sluts that threw away their chance at happiness and want you to do the same.
I don't wanna brag myself but I could've lost my virginity with 4 girls, ranging from 3/10 to 7/10.
Girls are ridiculously easy. Stay pure for the girl you want to marry (if you ever meet one). I'm doing just that and I actually think I might die celibate, which is fine since I know what I want.
