Advice for a friendship kind of falling apart, ill green text to keep it short.
>met qt in online community
>she is foreign and v kind
>we talk every day online for over a year
>she is just wonderful
>we play games and draw
>she has diagnosed depression
>i have diagnosed DID
>we help and support each other as much as we two people over seas can
>alls great
>she tells me a few months ago she likes me
>sort of taken aback by this
>tell her i lke her as well but it would never work
>we talk about it for a while then never bring it up again
>big events happen in life that just diverts attention away
>two days ago she tells me she needs to talk to me
>says she doesnt see the point in therapy or depression medication if we cant be together
>doesnt even want to try
>tell her im sorry but i don't think itll work
>she proceeds to cry as quietly and as un noticable as she can
>but i can tell
>suddenly overwhelmed with guilt
>how the fuck did i think i could just say that to someone and not expect repercussions
>i even sent her flowers on valentines day but honestly it was because she was lonely on that day and i wanted to cheer her up
>what the fuck was i thinking
>immediately disassociate
>hang up on her
>now avoiding texts
>she wants to know whats wrong
>dont know what to say
Its plainly obvious im a shit friend and a bad person. Me being in her life is just inhibiting progress for her and her health. I love her to death, but i cant build my life around possibly seein someone overseas one day and giving up all i have here for it.
What do i do?
>>17307421
Look mane, you got a preference and that's fine.
None of this is really on you specifically, nor are you a shit friend.
Honesty is good, but to prevent further damage to her psyche you need to either call it quits or have her ass in therapy/getting her shit together.
Plenty of schlong and vaggo in the sea, senpai.
>>17307446
She is already in therapy, she said she is rejecting the meds and sinking further into depression because she thinks taking them will change her? And our chances of being together? But i told her we couldnt be and she is still saying these things...
I dont want to hurt her, but im pretty close to blocking her just so she can find happiness and not let me keep her from finding others/ bein happy and healthy
>>17307472
>she thinks taking them will change her?
Yeah, I'm personally against meds too.
Wait so she's obsessed with you?
If she can't make rational and healthy decisions regarding something like that, then you might need to do it for her and block her out of your life. At least for some time.
Man going off topic, I feel so bad.
I feel like my first love was a lie.
The girl i was with is basically dead and no the same nor ever will be, and the things she told me after 8 months of no contact regarding our relationship ruined the memory forever for me.
I can't look back on it with happiness anymore and that was something i regarded the best 3 weeks of my life.
The innocent teenage, movie like reckless love I had is gone. Forever. And the memory of it is now tainted never to be reforged.
The girl is gone too.
I can't go out, and feel good. I see these young people sitting around drinking beer, talking, playing guitar and it just takes me back to what we should have been, to what we did and to the life I just do not have.
>>17307520
>obsessed
Well...no. I wouldnt say that. She is really shy and quiet, but clingy. But honestly i dont even mind that? She doesnt do it in a way that is annoying. Its just her being her. I find it cute.
But what was cute now seems to be really effecting her health..i want her to be happy and im scared she is using me as a reason to stay the unhealthy and the depression bound way she is.
Im not AGAINST meds per say, especially considering she has suicidal tendencies and that medicine could really help her out. But she isnt taking them..
Also your story is exactly WHY i dont want to block her. I would absolutely hate to hurt her. Is going back to being just friends even possible after what i did?
>>17307421
Your instincts are correct, she is indeed becoming too emotionally dependant on you if she is claiming that her happiness hinges on you two being a thing. So of course every act of friendliness or good will on your part will be tinted by her romantically-inclined mentality.
It's a tough catch 22, definitely not an easy decision (I've been there myself with a "friend" or two), but in my opinion the best thing to do is either cut her off out at least communicate with her less frequently. One way or the other, you ought to send her message explaining the flower schtick, apologize for hurting her feelings, then do what you feel is appropriate.
