>>17305326
Well, you recognize you're being an insufferable cunt. That's the first step. The second step is you acknowledgon you're emotionally abusing in him.

You treat him better by rembering he's a person and you owe him that much respect . He's not your house nigger.

Maybe you should do shit for yourself for a change

You found a beta provider and you're using him while you want a real man who sets the boundaries for your emotions and puts you into your place when needed, so you could respect him. You are subconsciously wired to take advantage of submissive men and piss on them. It comes with the pussy.

>>17305326
Sounds like he's already tired of your shit OP.

I suggest you shape up. Even beta fags have tipping points.

>>17305352
t. Virgin

>>17305358
On the contrary. I used to be one when I didn't think like the comment I wrote.

>>17305326
You realize the reason why he "takes forever" to come over, is so he can have with little me time he can for himself. He knows you're gonna be a bitch, and I don't blame the guy. He works, and is tired and needs to reset himself yet you expect him to come right over and leave his house a mess or whatever just so you can yell at him some more.

>>17305326
You realize a lot of the shit you're frustrated with
>I have been telling him to get a cellphone for months but he just doesn't do it
>he sometimes forgets to call me when he gets home from work
>he doesn't have much desire for sex anymore
>he takes forever to do small amounts of work
are probably of your making, not his? He's working hard at a tiring job, much of his money goes to support you, he comes over on all his days off and takes care of you, and for this he gets yelled at? You realize stress is a huge libido killer, right? You ever think he's apathetic and forgetful and takes forever to accomplish small tasks because you're fucking exhausting him?

Honestly, you sound like a nightmare. You earn a few points back for being self-aware enough to realize that your behavior is unacceptable, but only a few. I'm inclined to suggest you find a therapist. You're an adult; you should be able to control yourself by now. Also, your expectations sound frankly unreasonable. He's supposed to call you literally every time he gets home from work -- am I understanding you right? Where did you get the idea that was a reasonable thing to expect of your SO? Are you sure you're mature enough to be in a relationship right now (particularly with somebody who, from the sounds of it, needs a supportive girlfriend every bit as much as you need an attentive boyfriend?)

>>17305346
I do, I am just in a lot of pain, I have a lot of health problems... so does he but he gets around better than I do.
>>17305357
He doesn't seem like he is... its strange, to be honest I don't think hes ever expressed anger toward me... I feel awful because he internalizes everything.
>>17305371
I feel awful, I love him so much I always want him around... I don't know, when I ask if he wants to hang out he never says no, he never says no to hanging with my family.
>>17305372
Am I that bad? I honestly have seen his face when he thinks no one is around, he has the melancholy look... his home life isn't great, and I know it tires and frusterates him... I get that when I yell at him it can be exhausting but he seems to be tired even when its visits where I don't get upset... I dunno, sorry I'm so emotional and flustered right now.

>>17305422
I'm not trying to suggest that you're the source of literally all of his problems, just a lot of them (and that you probably are exacerbating the ones that you don't cause.)

>I get that when I yell at him it can be exhausting but he seems to be tired even when its visits where I don't get upset.
You're recovering from surgery and you have some health problems, so I'm sure you know how tiring pain can be. If, one out of every five days you were magically pain-free, would you instantly be full of get-up-and-go? Of course not. When you verbally abuse him (all while he's trying to take care of and support you, which has to be extremely humiliating for him) that doesn't just all disappear if on his next visit you're all loving and sweet. If anything, the uncertainty probably makes it even more taxing (because it means he has to be constantly asking himself: today is she going to be sweet and supportive? or demanding and cruel?) This on top of the stress of working a tiring job and supporting you. The stress you're inflicting on him is chronic and cumulative. The fact that you have serious health problems and are in a lot of pain is no excuse. You remain responsible for your actions even when you're having a tough time -- even if "having a tough time" is basically the normal state of affairs for you.

>>17305422
As to what you can do to fix this, well, first off, realize that you're probably demanding too much of him and not thinking enough about what YOU owe HIM. Relationships are two-way, and again, that doesn't change even if you're in considerable pain and have trouble getting around, although it certainly colors what *kind* of support you have to give him. Keep reminding yourself of that intellectually even if you have trouble internalizing it on a gut level -- next time you catch yourself thinking "ugh, why hasn't he [done a thing already]" ask yourself "have I done as many sweet things for him as he has for me this week?" And if you really can't get ahold of yourself no matter how hard you try, do consider therapy, because that's not normal. Unfortunately there's nothing I can say that will make "be a better person" easier advice to follow. The only way to do it is the hard way (which is to say the same way everybody else does it.)

You should also call him and tell him pretty much what you told us, if you haven't already. Like -- do that tomorrow. No backing out. Call him and tell him that you're very sorry, you know you've been really hard on him lately and you know you've been unfair. Tell him that you're in a lot of pain and you're having trouble controlling your emotions but that you know that's no excuse and that you promise to do better. And tell him that you love him. Then after you've done that you can take some time to figure out what you're going to do, whether it's therapy or something else.

This is all assuming that you've represented your situation fairly and that you're not being to hard on yourself because you're upset and in pain. But from what you've written I'm inclined to take your posts at face value even if there's a chance they're exaggerated in a couple small details.