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Anonymous
2016-06-26 06:54:12 Post No. 17294759
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Anonymous
2016-06-26 06:54:12
Post No. 17294759
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Just listing some things so that maybe someone might be able to help with one or some of my problems
1. I'm practically out of motivation to do anything anymore. I'm only 20 years old, have a 20-35 hour a week job on top of going to school part time majoring in something retarded but chose because I enjoy it and living at home. Even this relatively sedentary lifestyle is wearing me the fuck out, I couldn't imagine working more and having to life on my own, paying my own bills and taking care of myself. I know that makes me a fucking leech and a bum but I don't see much to look forward to
2. I literally cannot enjoy anything anymore just because of how retardedly obsessive I am about having to be good at something. Video games are my only hobby and I rarely play them and have fun, I usually just use them as a means to fill time because I consider it "leisure" and would rather put off doing something productive. Either way I'd be having a shit time. I tried fencing as a class during the Spring semester and enjoyed it but don't have the time or money to join a legitimate fencing club or purchase equipment for it.
3. I am physically incapable of having sex and that weighs pretty heavily on me. I've nearly had sex on 3-4 different occasions only for me to get too nervous to perform. Rather than attempt to date anymore, I'm too afraid of building up a romantic relationship with a woman only for it to come to a head with fucking (as most relationships do), only for me to fuck up and tear the whole thing down. Don't get me wrong, I love everything about dating but I'm too fucking scared of embarrassing myself again just to have everything I might work for evaporate. On the flip side, I really wish I could just fuck just to say I did it so that I could claim some degree of normalcy so that I wouldn't have to feel like a dysfunctional virgin loser all the time.
/blog, would appreciate some advice