How do I handle being around a girl that used to bully me in high school?
>been with bf long time
>his friends are somehow mutual friends with girl that bullied me
>we hang out with his friends often, they like me, I like chilling with all of us
>she used to follow me home from school with her friends, threaten to jump me, talk shit about me, etc.
>i told my bf that I know her and we had shit in high school
>bf was drunk one night and told his friends (when I specifically told him not to)
>his friends told her about it
>she goes up to me one night at their house
>asking why I have shit with her
>i was so pissed and thrown off
>she didn't remember me
>told her if she doesn't remember then fuck off because I don't give a shit anymore
>she brags to all bf's friends that I'm such a hater and she can't believe anyone would hate her
>recently, I was taking friend home when we were at friend's house
>she goes up to my bf, greets him, says "Where's your hater ass girlfriend at?"
>rambles on to even more people about how she can't believe I have shit with people
And the cycle of bullying continues. We're grown ass people now. I really didn't want to make this a thing. I got upset with bf for telling people. He sincerely apologized. But there's nothing I can do to take that back.
Every time I see her she puts on a shit show of how I'm such a bitch for "hating" on her. I don't even know how to handle it. What I definitely will not do though, is stop hanging out with friends. They're neutral on it. They don't want to be involved and they don't respond to her bragging about it. It's just a weird situation that I wanted to avoid. Do I confront her? I'm just annoyed with how arrogant she's being about it. She's always been so holier than thou attention whorish. Loves it when people give her negative attention because it makes her feel like a bad bitch.
What do?
What you should've did back in school, beat that bitches' ass.
She tests you because she knows she can get away with it. Your friends and bf are pretty shit for not having your back too. Fuck'em.
Well, if she's acting the way you described, she probably won't stop anytime soon on her own, so I'd confront her if I were you.
>>17291807
this makes me glad i moved around so i wouldn't need to deal with my past bullies lol.
she sounds annoying as fuck, i would try to ignore her or tell her you're over it and hope she cooperates. she'll probably throw more shit at you, but maybe you can have your boyfriend step in and tell her to fuck off too.
If your friends were reasonable people, they'd get tired of hearing her shit all the time and would stop hanging out with her. That they have not is telling about their supposed neutrality.
>>17291807
Also, when this started happening, she tries really hard to be sweet with bf. When this first started out, she started liking and commenting everything he posted on social media. I can't tell if she's flirting, but she tries really hard to be his friend. My bf generally ignores her unless she's directly speaking to him.
>>17291828
I wish I could have. But I was pretty lonerish in high school and it was always her and two other girls that were way stronger than me. They would have beat the crap out of me.
I don't know what my boyfriend or his friends can do. I don't know if they even know how she bullied me. I told my boyfriend what she did. But they think we're "beefing" when actually, it's very one-sided aggression.
I think she's the hater. I've tried ignoring it because it just showcases her own insecurities about it. But yea, she doesn't stop.
>>17291832
What should a confrontation look like. I mean, if we fight and I get arrested or something, my career is fucked. I need the clearest background ever for my job.
>>17291841
She's not over all the time. I'm over at their house more than her. But when we are in the same place at the same time, maybe once every couple of months, her mouth does not stop running. I get the sense that they like me more. No confrontation has ensued so I'm not sure how they would react (like who's side they would choose)
>>17291807
Your bf is a C U C K for not slapping dat bitch.
time to cut some break lines
>>17291853
she doesn't have a car. she's a do nothing bitch.
>>17291846
>What should a confrontation look like.
Well, if it was me, I would probably wait for the next time she begins with her 'witty' comments about you being a hater etc. and then I'd tell her what kind of problem I have with her. It's possible she remembers it very well, but telling her directly should at least stop those annoying questions. Then I'd ask her to leave me alone.
>>17291863
I'm really hesitant to bringing up old shit because she started not liking me because I was in a relationship with her ex in high school. But then we broke up and she continued to bully me.
I feel like if I bring it up, she'll probably focus on that it was about our ex. When, that's not my focus point. My focus point is that she treated me like shit for like three years for petty ass reasons.
Just call her out, that she used to stalk you and threaten to attack you and now she's continuing the process again. That you have no interest in dealing with a loser like that.
The fact she's unironically calling you a "hater" indicates she's still in the same place as she was in highschool. You don't need to physically fight her or any nonsense just like that, just make it absolutely clear and known why you think she's not worth the time of day when she starts her bullshit.
If your boyfriend is a good partner, he'll have your back. It's not like you need to just grin and bear it when she's acting like a cunt.
>>17291871
It would also feel weird to bring up my ex like that around bf and all his friends.
>>17291871
If you were my gf I'd stand up to that fucking cunt for you.
But your guy is a drunken cuck with 0 testes.
Get a new bf, this time that is a real man.
>>17291877
What should my boyfriend be doing? It's not like he gives into her. I feel like he's likely not doing much because I'm not doing much. I guess I should confront her and it will really give me a sense on if my boyfriend would stand up for me.
>>17291871
Yes, I understand how this kind of situation can be uncomfortable for you, but sometimes you just have to do the painful thing. If she brings up the shit with your ex, just tell her the same thing you said to me, about her focusing on a completely retarded aspect of the whole affair. Make it obvious why you don't like her.
>>17291807
>how do i handle someone being a dick to me
Tell her to go fuck herself. That's it.
>do nothing
>things continue as they were
>have shit friends
>they are not shit friends just because they don't care someone shit talks me regurlaly
>asks for advice
>yeah i don't want to do anything
Oroboros
>>17291961
It's not that I don't want to do anything, it's that I'm over thinking the consequences of whatever I do. I don't want to be treated this way. But I also don't want to do something I will regret.
If I gave no fucks, I would have smacked the bitch the moment this started. The situation feels very complex.
>>17291961
Welcome to /adv/!
I can tell this is your first time.
Are all of you niggers?
>>17291984
So you are saying you won't do anything?
People bully people that will not give them reason to not bully them.
If you tried to beat her in school even though the 3 would beat you they would stop thw bullying because there is always another idiot that won't bruise you.
>>17291988
Nah.
>>17291995
No, I'm actually white and asian. She's mexican.
>>17291996
No, this thread actually convinced me to confront her the next time. I'm still concerned of what would happen, but something is better than nothing. The longer I do nothing, the longer I keep looking like her bitch.
>>17291807
Laugh at her.
Literally. Laugh in her face. And if anyone asks why, ridicule her "She was a bully in high school and she hasn't changed. It's hilarious."
Then everyone will see everything she says an does now as laughable, and she will lose all power.
>>17292017
Wow we've done some good here today.
I expect an update thread in the next few days.
>>17292020
That is actually a good advice. If you go with it, through, make sure you sound genuine.
>>17292024
It's not like I'll see her any time soon. As I said, I only see her once every couple of months. It's never expected. Sometimes she just rolls up to our friend's house to chill. But there is no chill when her and I are in the same place.
Bitch needs to be put in her place, regardless of how big of a mouth I am, assaulting people because you are "upset" or mabye even just want to fit in is rather childish, and it just hurts the person involved, you.
I'd see to it she is either cut off, or put the fear into her. Perhaps I might suggest making it an issue of a civil matter, if she seems to pose a significant.. domestic threat?
>>17292020
I actually like this post.
>>17292034
More so than mine.
>>17292030
>>17292020
Albeit an option, I feel like this could turn on me and be really cringey. I'm a white girl laughing in a chola mexican's face. It will end in a fight. My plan was to be sarcastic and catty and I guess scoff at her and say she talks more shit about me than I do to her. I want to ask her who the real hater is here.
>>17291807
Tell the bitch to knock it off and if she wants to talk shit then she needs to leave. Assert yourself in the situation, don't let her or any of her friends talk that way to you.
Yeah it sucks that her behavior still continued into adulthood but you're an adult and you have the power to handle situations properly. Don't cause unnecessary drama or beat her. Just remove her from your life and any mutual shit friends.
>>17292044
>sarcastic and catty
>i'll make her look like a cunt by being a cunt
>>17292044
And you think that being sarcastic and catty won't result in a fight with this set-up?
>>17292032
>As I said, I only see her once every couple of months. It's never expected. Sometimes she just rolls up to ou
You made this long ass thread over some bitch you never see???
Wow, that is really attentionwhoring even for /adv/!
>>17292048
I don't want to fight, but knowing her it may be physical... Which is why I have been hesitant. Not afraid of getting beat up. I'm terrified of being arrested because as I said earlier, it will ruin my career. I'd have to really be dominant/assertive for her to get the message without it being physical.
>>17292053
>>17292058
Do you have any other options because she's gonna think I'm a cunt no matter what I choose to do. Laughing in her face is gonna start a fight too.
>>17292062
I still see her enough for it to affect my life. Every time I have seen her for the past year, she's always talking shit. It's building on me. I'm tired of being walked on. and it's gone on too long.
>>17292017
If she's mexican then all of this will be solved by december once trump deports her trashy ass
>>17292069
Why are you afraid of getting arrested if she's the one starting shit? I don't understand.
>>17292069
>she's gonna think I'm a cunt no matter what
Your goal is to make the other friends realize she's being a cunt. Be calm and polite and have her blow her lid. Seriously, why do people say women are better at social interaction?
>>17292075
Because won't cops arrest the both of us still? If I fight her back won't I still be in trouble?
>>17292079
I've been calm everytime I see her. It's not working. She uses it as an excuse to keep doing what she is doing. I told her to fuck off from the beginning and she continues. We're past the point of politeness
>>17292069
Listen you're too fucking worried about what may happen. The girl isn't going to touch you. She hasn't touched you in all those years of bullying so what makes you think she'll do it when you stand up for yourself? She feeds on people's passiveness and fear, but as soon as something gets physical she will fucking run.
You still shouldn't get in a fight though. Take it from me, I threw my bully down a flight of stairs. I ruined his football career in HS and I was never reported. I felt so great for those 4.3 seconds until I realized I just let some fuckwad control how I feel and make me do something I normally wouldn't ever have done.
Next time she says something, go up to her, tell her to get. the. fuck. out. of. here. "You are not wanted." Ignore her for the rest of the night.
>>17292086
>I've been calm everytime I see her. It's not working. She uses it as an excuse to keep doing what she is doing. I told her to fuck off from the beginning and she continues. We're past the point of politeness
Ignore her, then. Jesus.
>>17292079
Also, I think everyone does honestly think she's a cunt. Doesn't mean they're gonna do anything about it unless I do.
>>17292089
Well, she jumped and mugged my best friend when we were like 17. Although she was never physical with me, she's been physical with others who pissed her off more.
>>17292093
Jesus fuck, I've ignored her for so long and that shit doesn't work either. This tension started up again like three years ago. And she's still rambling on about it.
>>17292094
Jumped and mugged. She isn't going to do anything in front of your friends because she's a pussy bitch.
And tell your friends to stop letting her over. If they ignore your request they don't give a shit about you. Not good friends
>>17292094
>Also, I think everyone does honestly think she's a cunt. Doesn't mean they're gonna do anything about it unless I do.
Talk to them about it when she's not around, then. Ask them what they think, don't just guess.
>>17292100
>she's still rambling on about it
So what?
>>17292017
E U R A S I A N
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>>17292106
Here's the complexity of that:
>this is at bf's friend's house
>she is mutual friends with bf's friend's little brother's friends
Even if my bf's friends do not like her, they can't control who their little brother invites. I'm not his bff or anything, he's known this bitch longer than me. There are layers to how we see each other. Even if my bf's friend didn't like her or is on my side, he doesn't have much control over how his brother views his friends.
Shit has happened at their house before. Like people fight and stuff. Usually guys though. The only time someone is not invited back is when they instigate fights because they don't want drama at their house. She won't instigate a fight because she knows she won't come back to chill at their house.
>>17292086
>Because won't cops arrest the both of us still? If I fight her back won't I still be in trouble?
No idea, look up US laws on self-defense. I know I wouldn't be arrested in my country. They would interrogate me, but my record would stay clean.
>>17292086
>Because won't cops arrest the both of us still? If I fight her back won't I still be in trouble?
Not in the USA. Cops react based on what they think is going on. This is determined by what the dispatcher is told and what they see when they arrive.
If they are told:
>OH GOD THEY ARE KILLING EACH OTHER HELP I AM SO SCARED
Yes, you will both be arrest until you no longer pose a threat.
>SHE GOT MAD AND STARTED ATTACKING MY FRIEND AND NOW THEY ARE FIGHTING
No, they will probably ask questions and just arrest one person.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. Raise your standards OP.
