How end a long term relationship as less painful as possible? I've been with my girlfriend for almost 5 years, and we were like 8 hours together each day. We work together, sleep together most times, but now its getting unbearable. I can't stand it anymore. We argue about anything, fight almost everyday and I feel trapped in our relationship. Sexual life is also non-existent (like having sex once per 3-4 months). I also cheated on her. Sometimes I feel like a 60 years old married man. It's getting so depressing that I feel like suicide is an option. I just can't stand it anymore. It clearly dosen't work, and it makes both of us sad.
Dipsite all the bad things, I still love her, and care for her, and I know that she still loves me, and maybe she loves me more than herself. I don't want to completely fuck her up for the rest of her life, and I would still want to be friend with her, and keep her in my life, but not as a partner. Whats the less painful way to end this?
I even thought about suicide, but this will not just fuck up her, but my whole family too.
There is no painless way to break up. Someone is going to be hurt.
Time to bite the bullet, op
http://www.professional-counselling.com/ending-a-long-term-relationship.html
James?
>>17288795
oh shit, who's this?
>>17288653
Better question, how do you break up with someone that everything is going fine with, regular sex, generally happy when together, still treat each other and whatever, nothing bad has happened between the two, but one person is just not feeling it?
its been two years and there's been no bad event, but i want to end it and can't verbalize why. i still love her, but don't like her.
help /adv/, not worth a new thread.
>>17288653
>How end a long term relationship as less painful as possible?
Sit her down, tell her what you told us. Be honest. There is no painless way, only the right way.
>I would still want to be friend with her, and keep her in my life, but not as a partner.
Bad idea. When the dog dies you bury the body, not keep it around the house and keep trying to be buddy buddy with it.
Maybe after you both have had time apart to think and get over it you could start talking again but "lets still be friends" is a terribly painful and complicated concept.
>>17289009
Bumping for your question, same leaky boat.
>>17289017
I'm sorry to hear it man.
I can't pinpoint what's wrong, but I'm definitely unhappy, as lovely, attractive and fun as she is, it's just not for me anymore.
What's wrong with you man? Can I help you somehow?
>>17288653
Fucking sit down and talk to her about it. Be honest about it all (minus the cheating). Try to work with her through it.
>>17289055
Yeah, OP, when it's at that point, you be selfish and tell her what. Fuck what's around you, fuck who else might be affected, you end it, you stop thinking about killing yourself, you move on. It's either break up, or be stuck in a shitty relationship. One's hard on you, one's hard on your. Which do you choose, knowing that neither will be hard on you forever if you're going to fucking kill yourself otherwise?
>>17288653
Who did you cheat on her with? Did you care about them or need to vent? Do you still see them?
Also agree with >>17289016 you can't really stay friends after something like this, especially if she doesn't see it coming. It's best to cut it clean and let the wound heal.
>>17288983
She knows where the guns are, man. You have to take her out first and then take the dog away.
>>17288653
For all you know, she could be thinking the same thing. Either way, it sounds like ending the relationship will be better for the both of you. So use that to convince yourself to do what needs to be done. There's no painless way to do it. Don't try to be friends. Cut her out from your life. I've seen this friends thing crash and burn too many times to ever recommend trying it (from having been at the other end of this kind of situation once, cutting off ties is the best thing you can do for her.)
>>17289021
Eh, we don't fight or anything but she's really affectionate and I'm not as affectionate as her, so I just feel kinda burned out trying to keep up. Plus she hasn't been getting along with some people I know, so I just feel bad making her hang around people she doesn't like and then I feel like I have to keep picking between her or them and that's been stressful. It's not even like she's a bad person, it's just a personality clash sort of thing and she could totally go find new friends if she didn't spend so much time with me. My grades slipped hard last semester and I'm worried it's from being distracted by this relationship, so just all in all I feel like pragmatically I'm better off single for the next couple of years. I'd just tell her that but she sends me hearts and I love yous a few times a day and I feel like she's way more in love than me and I just really don't want to hurt her.
>>17289116
fucking hell bruh. we might literally be the exact opposite.
i was fucking obsessed and super affectionate with her, and knew that she was kind of withdrawn and awkward so i was okay with being that. eventually though, i was putting in all my time in this relationship trying my hardest with grand and non grand gestures, and because of how awkward and uncomfortable she was, she would never accept them properly. it was super weird, but i loved too much, and she ignored it, which fucked up my relationship. so now, i went too far i guess, don't feel shit in return and want to leave, even though i still love her.
bruh listen. if you think yer being distracted by this relationship, even though you don't feel like it's an important element of yer life, end it. i'm bad at following my own advice, but please, end it. yes she'll be hurt, but she'll get over it and move on, as will you. and the most important thing to think about, since you're the unhappy one, is you. because you're the one who doesn't want to be in this two way street. i recommend sitting down and telling her this, and sincerely taking on what she says back, but even just letting it be vocalized is important.
bumping for interest
