Well, this is a long one, how about we start, 14 years ago.
>be me 20 years old
>In a 8 month relationship with, who was as the time, my gf.
>End up knocking her up
>For some reason, our relationship is kinda rocky
>before my son is born, we end up seperating
>see the birth of son, but my gf ends up marrying this other dude
>not mad, but upset, atleast my son came out healthy
>absent for 2 years, but I pay child support, because im not an ass
>My son thinks the man my ex is with is his dad
>GF lets me see my son, he thinks im like his older friend
>for years it was just me taking him places and doing shit with him
> I talk with my GF, ask her "Should I tell anon jr, that Im his dad?" she says no, because it may hurt him
that convo was 4 years ago, my son is now 13,
My current wife likes him, he comes over to my house on some weekends and we play video games, he says im his best friend, his step-father and I are decent friends, but something doesnt feel right, what do???
>>17270056
don't potentially ruin his life and his relationships now by telling him
when he's older 20+ you can consider telling him
I say leave it if you're asking what's in his interests. Telling him now will fuck him up. If he starts to question it later, then discuss it with your ex and decide whether to tell him, but don't rock the boat unnecessarily.
>>17270065
Well, its because the other month at Dave and Busters, I accidentially called him "son", hopefully he forgets about it
>>17270056
Tell him you are his dad. The sooner the better. Otherwise later in life if he figures it out, he will be questioning what else has been a lie, mentally fucking
>>17270069
That's something that men call boys all the time.
>>17270069
older people address kids with "son" all the time
like southerners or grandparents, etc.
it's fine
>>17270072
I dont want him to become one of these though.
>>17270079
Don't tell him OP, especially without having discussed it with his mother first. You're risking fucking up his relationship with everyone if you do, as well as being cut off from him by your ex.
>>17270056
You can potentially influence him in a greater way, just as his real father, from the position of best friend. In the end, a healthy fatherly relationship should have the son looking at his father like a friend. Just ride it out until he passes his problems age of 16-18. When life hits him and he needs help tell him. id say sooner than 20 because you want him to know and you want to be there for his prom or graduation or post secondary.
>>17270056
For the child's sake, I'd say tell him now, but that could cause problems between you, the ex and the step-dad. It wouldn't be a good idea to rock the boat, especially if custody is in her hands. Maybe wait until 16-18, when they don't have as much control over him. He'll probably realize it by that point anyway.
Still, good on you for being an amazing dad. I applaud you, OP. Just keep doing what you're doing. The best thing to do is to continue being there for him, and it sounds like you have an amazing relationship as is.
Tell him when he's 16-18. He's still developing right now so there's no use in throwing such a huge bombshell on him. Your ex is a piece of shit for not allowing you to tell him earlier though.
Your ex married a cuck lel.
