I'm a NEET with ADD working with a therapist. He had me and my parents make a "contract" to keep me accountable.
>Contract:
The hardest parts for me have been being ready by 9am, filling out job applications instead of just looking at them, and cleaning my bedroom.
I have fulfilled some parts of the contract better than others. I'm still a little annoyed with my parents for not enforcing the contract properly, and screaming at me for either minor infractions or for things that haven't even been specified.
Last Saturday, my mother came into my room and yelled at me for not doing my laundry. The contract Says I'm supposed to do laundry on Sunday. In fairness, I was supposed to clean my room that day and didn't do a very good job, and the time was never specified - it just says Saturday. I interpreted the contract to mean that the daily schedule was for weekdays and that weekends are unstructured.
There have been times where they have accused me of being "rigid," and "not really trying", I say it's a written agreement that needs to be followed and understood accurately in order to mean anything at all. I'm doing the best I can and I'm anxious to see if they follow through on their end to give me back my privileges. In the past, there have been times where they back out on promises because something came up or there is some curve-ball, and there is nothing I can do about it, and then I feel cheated.
Moods:
I woke up this morning feeling really depressed, so depressed that I didn't want to start the day and had some suicidal thoughts. I felt better after I took a shower and got my vyvanse pill. I first resisted and my parents had to yell at me to get out of bed and do my morning routine. The more they get angry with me, the worse I feel about myself and about them. I don't know why I have such a strong urge to resist orders so that it frustrates other people. I get so ashamed that they have to reprimand me in the first place that I can't suck it up and just do it.
The 3 of us can't follow a simple contract.
>>17266710
Ask your therapist these questions:
>Why is negative punishment and negative reinforcement being used so often in the contract?
>How specific does the contract need to be? It seems vague.
>When can you renegotiate it?
Also, as a behavioral psychologist, this approach seems a little odd. A behavior contract isn't a natural contingency and is odd to use with a person who just has ADD. I use behavior contracts with my clients with fucking thought disorders and bipolar.
I think your therapist may need to focus on core skills that need to be addressed (read about delay discounting and instructional control within the behavior analytic literature). Also, have they ruled out that you may have a sleep disorder impacting your ability to wake up in the AM?
>>17266798
I have Delayed Sleep Onset. I use a prescription antihistamine.
My parents are nervous people and they flip out easily. Negative reinforcement isn't in the contract. My grandmother is Borderline and I sometimes wonder if my mother is as well.
>>17266710
well no shit
the contract is there to make their life easier, not yours
they want you to be a good little compliant worker drone, that's why they come up with all these routines
this is what normal people do, they do this every day until they rot in the ground.
>>17266710
You think very literally. To you, if the contract doesn't specify weekends, then it doesn't apply to weekends. If it says you clean your room on Saturday, then you have until 11:59 at night to do it.
Most people understand the gist and intention of rules like that, and the way thy connect with other things in life. Unless the contract specifically exempts weekends, most people would interpret it to include them. If it says "Clean your room on Saturday" and all the other housecleaning on Saturdays goes on in the mornings, it is a cooperative gesture on your part to fit in with the general schedule.
(It sounds like you might have a bit of aspergers on top of your ADD, in what your mother calls your rigidity.)
Ultimately, the whole point of the contract is to give you a framework that motivates you to do things you don't want to do. That is, because you are comfortable with the concept of rules and contacts, doing something because it's in the contract is easier for you than doing it because of some loose "you really ought to."
You really ought to keep normal hours and fill out job applications, but that's not a strong enough motive for you. "The contract says you have to" is actually easier for you to understand and should be easier to follow.
If I as your parents I wouldn't just yell at you, I'd be regularly beating the shit out of you. Holy fuck OP, grow the fucking hell up and start acting like a man.
You really need a fucking "contract" to do basic shit like laundry and cleaning your room? Damn I am so fucking happy that I got a vasectomy so that I will never have the possibility of being saddled with defective offspring like you. Your parents must be super disappointed.
Just stop all of your stupid shit and grow the fuck up already.
>>17267593
They came in late Saturday morning like 10 and told me to do my laundry. My laundry day is Sunday so I had been planning to do it the next day. The time to clean my room was never written down, so I just thought I'd do it in the afternoon.
I've been told I have Aspergers but it's really subtle. People who spend a long amount of time with me sometimes ask me if I have Aspergers.
Sorry op, after reviewing this you are in the wrong. I know it's shit, but you have to bite the bullet and work with them on the contract. I csn understand where you are coming from one anting to negotiate it, but the facts are the contract was made because you aren't doing simple chores that you are required and expected to do, therefore, there is no leverage for you to be dictating the terms.
talk to your union steward, you should be filing grievances for those.
This sort of contract sounds like it's bouncing perilously close to being a human rights violation.
