I'll write this as short as I can.
A friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend and I helped her. I spend hours of boredom just to entertain her and I started having feelings for her. After a while she just started dating another dude and I don't exist to her unless she has a problem.
The fact that she is dating another dude hurts me but it's understandable. The problem is that I feel used and my feelings get toyed with and I fall for this every time. Just fucks with my self-esteem and everyday activities.
She doesn't know I'm into her, but she stills neglects me as a friend. What should I do? Can I control myself somehow?
>>17266309
She probably knows but she likes having you arohnd
This is a very simple problem with a very simple solution.
That's not to say it's easy, emotionally speaking, but it's not complicated.
1. Stop initiating contact with her (it seems to make you feel miserable).
2. If the next time she speaks to you is because she has a problem, let her know that it bothers you because it seems like she's only interested in using you for advice or support and not being an actual friend.
Don't be an asshole about it.
>>17266350
I guess I already knew the answer, just not what I wanted.
>>17266328
Probably, only makes it worse though.
>>17266309
>The problem is that I feel used and my feelings get toyed with and I fall for this every time
You aren't being toyed with. Apparently you offer to let people use you, and you start to have feelings because -- why exactly? Do you think someone using you means they care about you?
Hey, when you go to take a shit, do you think to yourself "omg this is the best toilet ever, I am so grateful that it's here to accept all the shit pour through my anus. When I'm done shitting, I'm going to stay in the bathroom so I can be with this toilet forever."
>>17266378
>you offer to let people use you, and you start to have feelings because -- why exactly?
Because I like who she is? Also, I helped people in the past and never faced this issue. Most of them are among people I respect and am friends with.
> Do you think someone using you means they care about you?
In retrospective, yes and no. That fact that I feel used and am in fact being used are different things.
Because of your faulty comparison, I think you are just applying a narrow perspective of a similar situation, rather than actually giving advice, Thanks however, always puts things in perspective.
I had something similar happen to me. I had a girl come to me asking me to help her date a friend of mine. Somewhere along the way I fell hard for her. I thought we really connected since we were sharing deeply personal stuff with each other and she was helping me with my problems.
Long story short, I asked her out a couple times and she said no, then yes and the no again. She started dating him and our friendship lost 90% of what made it special.
I had a really hard time with it. But once I realized and accepted that I let her use me I was able to forgive her. Although I still think she chose the wrong person, but that's life.
Ditch her. Sh's taking and not giving back.
>>17266309
I was in the same situation. Stop talking to her she is a whore and it only gets worse from here.
Thanks for the feedback /adv/, I've never been on the situation, athough it sounds a bit trivial
