Does being single too long fuck with your ability to have a relationship? I am approaching the five year mark since I properly dated somebody and I don't know if it's good, bad, or neutral.
For clarification, by single I mean rigidly, exclusively single. No sex, no one night stands. Went on two first dates this past spring, but other than that absolutely nothing substantial has happened to change this.
Rusty
>>17263061
It doesn't. You being autistic causes you to go long times without dating making it seem like the length is the cause of your troubles.
One bump
I went from 18 years of no relationship into a relationship just fine.
You would have to have beeen seriously screwed up for some other reason to be incapable of having a relationship.
You become weird from spending too much time alone as you don't have anyone to curb your eccentricities.
If you are single but having sex and flings, it's all fine. However if you haven't had sex in years, it does have a negative effect.
I know guys who are relationship oriented and seem more motivated to meet women and push for more. They actually *want* relationships. I myself don't feel ready, or that chasing women is really a good idea. And I wonder if having been single for so long has made me too self-interested and independent to want to be with somebody else, or if it's my last relationship that's been making me avoid them, since my last relationship was quite bad. Once in a while I'll meet a girl who seems genuinely interested, but I can never bring myself to really go for it and seize that opportunity. I also have this lingering feeling that I'm not good enough and it's not really my place to think that a girl would ever like me that much.
>>17264007
That actually makes a lot of sense. I have a hard time meeting people who would actually want to do that though. It seems like many people (myself included) just want someone to fall into their lap, who's perfect for them. They don't want to give someone a chance, or give them the time to change for them. They don't think it's possible to have standards, or think it's unreasonable to expect other people to compromise for them (this goes both ways).
Basically, I don't think my issue is exactly unique. Most people I know who are single for longer than a couple of years like I've been, are individualistic to the point that it might actually be problematic in a relationship. We want someone who is just perfect for us right away and never gives us any real problems. Nobody is good enough for us and they never will be because we don't let them in.
