Infatuation
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
So I'm dating this girl for about 2 years now, I've struggled in the past with what the idea of "love" is with this girl, just to give context. We'd broken up (for a short period of time) just as I'd got a new job at a call center and before we got back together I formed a crush on a girl from my work. Problem is, the crush has turned into infatuation and I can't stop thinking about her. This is probably caused by the fact that we've hung out more often over the past few months and my idiotic self finds the small details in how she acts to mean that she feels the same way. I'm no stranger to being out in the friendzone so I figured that this is what's happened. But I can't stop seeing her like this.
It's getting to the point where I'm fighting with my girlfriend and feeling very little because that way I might have a chance with this other girl. However, I know that this whole situation is ludicrous. My higher mind knows that I'm just being an idiot and that I should stay with my girlfriend because I am legitimately happy (I think) with her. But I still have these feelings for the girl at work.
I basically just need someone to plainly say I'm being an idiot. I know that I'm friend zoned by the girl from my work, and I shouldn't be disappointed by that.
Ever seen 500 days of summer
>movie about some poor fool who believes in love
>finds 'perfect' girl
>projects his need for hollywood romance
>gets girl, still not happy
>tries to mold girl to answer his emotional/hormonal fits
>girl leaves
Because your hormones are working you hard (infatuation) doesn't mean you shouldn't be thinking rationally.
Same thing happened to me last year. I was completely smitten. Then the girl turned out to be lesbian. I moved on and am still happy with my gf. It'll pass, it just means your dick still works or whatever
>>17260867
I've been thinking that maybe I'm just incapable of being happy in a relationship? It just seems like I still havent found someone who I'd want to stick with for the rest of my life. And I'm starting to feel like I'm the Summer of my current relationship because I'm not sure. Thanks man.
>>17260875
Did you ever question the feelings for your girlfriend at the time? If I could know that this shiz was all normal it'd be a great help.
>>17260891
Relationships=a best/good friend whom you screw and build your life with
Doesn't guarantee happiness. Your character and mindset determines this. Would recommend reading philosophy (Epicurus comes to mind).
>>17260933
Huh, I guess I've just been told that relationships make you happy, my whole life. Thank you, I'll read some.
>>17260846
Good you notice you are being an idiot. Here is what you do.
Let it go, co worker crush is bad for everyone. You need to get over that chick. Its called infatuation for a reason, its not love and I am pretty sure she doesn't feel any sort of feelings other than buddies. Regarding your relationship with your gf, it seems like you two need to really iron things out. Its up to the two of you on what you want to do and if it its not working, end it and part ways.
>Hypothetically speaking
If you end it, DO NOT go for your co worker. Picture being friendzoned from before times 5, it makes for an awkward work environment. However, if you got a new job somewhere else, nothing wrong with trying it out. Just dont expect much
>>17260987
Any advice on letting go? All these things you say, I know. I just can't will it you know?
