>I only like you as a friend, I don't know if it will stay that way forever, but at the moment that's how it is
Damn why does it hurt that much?
>>17260104
>Damn why does it hurt that much?
Two reasons. The first is that when she says those words, what you actually hear is "You're not good enough. You didn't make the cut". Then there's the dissapointment. Don't know if it's the same for most guys, but I've never asked a girl out unless I was reasonably confident she'd say yes. Particularly when you're younger it's easy to get over invested in it. By the time you're asking her out you've already imagined the white wedding, pickett fence, what the kids will be called and how you'll grow old together. When she says no you feel like you've had your whole future ripped out from underneath you - whereas in reality it just means you'll be dwn the pub with your mates on friday night instead of sitting in the cinema spending a fortune on overpriced popcorn for some bird with bad breath who talks about her grandmothers STD's all night.
Attachment is the enemy.
>>17260140
That's actually true, I've really thought about us being together and came to the conclusion that she's one of the few people who actually matches with me.
Doesn't help that we've known each other for a year now.
>>17260141
> said the Poorly attached individual
It's okay my mom didn't hug me either
>>17260161
No one cares
>>17260177
I care
If the spark isn't there this second then it never will be, move on...
>>17260375
Most likely
I'm quite excited to see how awkward it will be when we meet again since I want to continue the friendship
>>17260104
>I don't know if it will stay that way forever
This is code for "I want to keep you around as a backup plan"
Run
>>17260602
Actually I wanna keep the friendship, so running is no option
>>17260104
we want to be special.
>>17261044
then just don't devote the kind of time you would otherwise have to her/him. move to regular friend status because that's all you are to her. If she's single it's even worse because she's literally saying you're not good enough to even try to date.
>>17261060
Yeah I'll try not to be the guy that runs after her. Also she's dating someone at the moment, partly the reason I told her to finally get rid of the uncertainty before its too late.
>>17260140
>By the time you're asking her out you've already imagined the white wedding, pickett fence, what the kids will be called and how you'll grow old together. When she says no you feel like you've had your whole future ripped out from underneath you
FUCK, I hate how true this is.
This one girl I had an insanely huge crush on for like 3 years, that i've barely talked to. Yet i've already imagined our whole life together. Then i asked her out and she turned me down.
It couldve been perfect man. We couldve been the perfect weeb ass couple.
>>17260602
This. It's one thing for a girl to straight up reject you. But if she slaps a big "maybe" on the possibility of a relationship in the future, forget it.
Once a girl sees you as "just a friend", move on to the next one.
Not that you necessarily have to drop her from your life, but your intentions are different than hers, so continuing to talk to her or hang out with her on the regular is a no no.
>>17261426
Your mistake was crushing for 3 years and doing nothing about it. You should've made your intentions clear. That, or she rejected you but you foolishly orbited in hopes that she might one day like you right?
Not to be harsh mind you. I only say that because I went through the same thing in high school
>>17261443
>I went through the same thing in high school
It shames me to say that this was college.
I met her freshman year, and trust me I did try to talk to her the first time I met her. but she was busy and left shortly after I talked to her. Our schedules were so different we never ran into each other until the last semester of Sophomore year.
This is where my mistake comes in though.
I waited an extra year to ask her out because i wanted her to get used to me being around, get to know me and some shit. But i didnt talk to her much because i wanted to be in the "potential lover, potential friend" area so she cant pull the "I only like you as a friend" card. Asked her out Junior year, she turned me down because she was too busy for a relationship. (4 studio classes + job + help running the cosplay club)
In hindsight, I probably shouldve just got to know her better instead of going straight for the prize.
>>17260104
You fucked up and got attached before you had sex
>>17260141
All attachment leads to suffering, and accepting this fact is the path to enlightenment.
>>17261472
>This is where my mistake comes in though.
>I waited an extra year to ask her out because i wanted her to get used to me being around, get to know me and some shit. But i didnt talk to her much because i wanted to be in the "potential lover, potential friend" area so she cant pull the "I only like you as a friend" card. Asked her out Junior year, she turned me down because she was too busy for a relationship. (4 studio classes + job + help running the cosplay club)
Well shit. That concerns me because I'm kinda going through that now with a coworker (Although it's only been 6months).
She told me that Because of her work, school, and side jobs (baby/house/dog sitting) she doesn't have time for a bf. Says she gets distracted, plus her last ex was clingy as fuck and left a bad taste in her mouth. We were discussing relationships, so she wasn't rejecting me, so much as explaining her situation.
Like you, I'm keeping my distance. Trying to slowly get to know her and hanging out every few weeks for a hike. But hearing your story, I worry that I might be doomed already.
>>17261496
>But hearing your story, I worry that I might be doomed already.
Sometimes,thats just how life goes man. It doesn't always make sense and doesnt work how you want it to.
I hope your situation turns out better than mine. Looking back on it, I really cant tell if it was my fault or if she legitimately wasn't interested in anyone. I overheard a conversation she was having with some other girls, apparently she has never been interested in anybody. The only thing on her mind was anime and whatever weebshit she liked. I'm hearing this, thinking we were cut from the same cloth, I've never been this sure about wanting to be with someone before.
Iunno, I just feel like I could have done something different. Now she won't even talk to me anymore, she stopped saying hi to me, and keeps tuning out whenever i talk to her.
I thought it was impossible for me to get heartbroken,because im so carefree. But well, first time for everything. Looking back, she might have been one of those asexuals I've heard so much about.
>>17261496
Don't focus on one chick until you're actually dating
>>17261536
She may very well have been asexual. Or at the least, when a girl says she's not interested in anyone, she means it. You might be able to TRY to make her see you in that light, but it would be a slow process that may or may not put you in the friend zone.
And I feel that if my girl were to reject me, I'd be the one to drop her, not the other way around. But since your girl seems to be avoiding you and being awkward, take it as a sign to move on as well and meet someone new.
>>17261552
I'm not. I talk to girls on dating apps and have a fwb. But even though we're not dating, I feel scummy for doing that.
It's really fucking hard trying to be friends with someone you feel you're in love with. Even harder if they know that you like them. It's not that you're angry at them or anything like that, but it just hurts so fucking bad and you get so fucking sad because you know you'll never be together. It's just better to leave.
![Bustup_04_11[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/z37DPuh.png "Bustup_04_11[1].png")
>>17261582
Yea, I'm trying to move on and forget this ever happened, but this whole ordeal just kinda snapped something in me. I don't really feel like trying to date anybody anymore, I'm not really interested in any girl at the moment. There is one I may have feelings for right now, but I know she doesnt feel the same so i might as well not count that. It just really sucks you know? Not only do you lose someone who could very well have been your dream girl, you also lost a pretty cool friend too.
I'm just gonna take a break from this dating thing. I have more important shit i should be trying to do. At this point I have no interest in girls beyond sex stuff.
>>17260104
Because you waited too long. Rather than telling her about your interest as soon as you became aware of it, you secretly pined after her, investing further and further, whipping yourself up into an emotional frenzy which you now have no sane option but to abandon as quickly as possible. This is extremely painful.
Meanwhile, she took your failure to express interest as meaning you were not interested, and distanced herself as appropriate for friends. This was a reasonable thing to do, given the information she had. She has also had a lot more time to do it than you have, which is why it seems easier for her: it's not, but she had enough of a head start that she could afford to be gentle about it.
I am sorry to hear that you are hurting. But there's a lesson to be learned here: don't pine. It hurts even worse than this does -even if it may not seem like it right this moment- and it only increases the odds of this happening. When dealing with women, it is important to be straightforward and forthcoming about your feelings as soon as you are aware of them. Take this to heart.
>>17261613
That's the best thing you should do, anon. Focusing on yourself is the best way to deal with heartbreak and rejection. Forget about women for a while, and focus in you. Travel, work out, socialize with friends.. All those help.
