>>17249536
i mean me personally i just love demanding, bratty, women and i know lots of guys are the same.

>>17249536
Just because she's obese doesn't mean he isn't attracted to her. Some guys are into that.

>>17249536
how is he a sweet guy? he obviously isnt doing anything because he is weak and afraid of standing up to his gf. i hate being treated like this by women. fortunately, my gf is nice and down to earth.

Is that them in the pic?

To answer your question, people tend to be willing to follow those who take initiative... the fat chick in that relationship is willing to take initiative, so her bf follows her.

If you take the initiative, 9 times out of 10 the guy will follow you.

>>17249549
shes the only girlfriend who is like that, I do know the first time they dated she was very outwardly abusive toward him.
>>17249550
true, but her personality isn't great, shes bitchy and demanding and very needy and selfish. Its honestly sometimes hard to stay friends with her.
>>17249557
He buys her things, hell he buys her friends things, hes there to help her with things 90% of the time, hes sensetive, but isn't afraid to work hard, hes funny, and was really cute, but lately he hasn't been keeping himself up as well... hes grown a long beard and his long hair is messy all the time

>>17249577
that isn't them, hes chubby and has long hair and a beard... she also is fatter.
but to that degree? he is ok with being depressed and stressed out because of her? hes ok with basically being her and her family's bitch boy? seriously because of her he hasn't had a day of from work since he started his new job and its showing, his friends say hes too tired to do anything.

>>17249536

We don't like it.

We're raised with a lack of alternatives.
Too many of us are simply too dumb to realise that no company, is better than bad company.

A generation raised on "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best".
"Treat women with respect" only to be called "Nice guys".
"real men do this", but "do this and you're a sexist pig".

Shit's learned helplessness.

Literally have a friend who can't do anything without his girlfriends permission, even spend his own money. I ask why he puts up with that, and he says "sex".

I literally can't understand it. You get the same result using your hand, with alot less downsides.

I think it's culture... we're expected to hook up, eventually get married shit. So we do it, path of least resistance and all that.
It's just too easy for normal 'sheeple', dead fish to go with the flow, never stopping to question where they are headed.

Not a problem I've ever had though, being the 'creepy' robot virgin (honestly, sometimes I'm more thankful for it more than I'm not, the way I see other men get treated).

>>17249627
thats the thing, with other women he dumps as soon they treat him badly... he also isn't a largely sexual guy as she talks shit about how he never wants to have sex... so I don't know what benefit hes getting.

>>17249627
Oh shit I just realized, from what his best friend told me, his mom treats him like shit... he was raised to think he was inferior for being a man and men were only meant to work and provide. His mom dominated his father with an Iron fist, still does.

>>17249644

And we get to the route of the problem.

Learned helplessness.

Shit's the reason you get the stereotype of the "*sigh* yes dear..." husbands. They learn long ago that there is no right answer or light at the end of the tunnel so they knuckle down and take the pain without ever fighting back.

Your friend doesn't know anything different.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, but he was raised around piranhas, he doesn't know what it's like to chill with some cool-ass sea-lions.

People who were abused as children tend to pick partners who are very similar to their abuser. It's an attempt to resolve the trauma (or something).

>>17249536
Is your friend's name Fay?

>>17249536
There's a couple of things that spring to mind. Firstly guys don't like to admit defeat. Once you get in to the "it's going to be difficult, but I'm the guy who can fix this" mindset you can end up being the only one that can't see you're flogging a dead horse. He might just go through each day thinking "if I just do the right combination of x, y, and z, then she'll start treating me better".

The other thing is that some guys, particularly younger ones, get caught up in this thing of being a "good lad" and doing what they imagine society thinks they should do, rather than doing what's best for them. We seem to have a big thing these days where a "good person" will tolerate no end of other people's nonsense for no apparent reason, but standing up for yourself - at least if you're a bloke - instantly makes you a "bad person". As an example, I finished my apprenticeship at the same time as another guy. Our boss took us in the office and gave us some speil about "apprieciating what you've done for us", "asset to the company" and all that jazz, and asked us to stay on with the company - on 3rd year apprentice wage. He fell for the "good lad" thing and stayed there for another two years making £48 a week, while I took a job at a piano factory down the road making £60 a day (for reference that was in 1994, I make a bit more than that now).

Do you want this guy, OP? You seem very interested in him.

You probably have a limited view of what is going on within their relationship dynamic. Not every relationship is the same, or equal. Some of it are based on very complicated personality traits and issues.

It is possible that your friend has inappropriate views on how to treat her boyfriend or men in general, and simply telling her 'I don't like the way you treat your boyfriend in front of other people, I think it is inappropriate to be so demanding when the other party is obviously so miserable'.

It is also possible that her boyfriend in fact relishes in and thrives under women who are more dominant, and only to turn toxic and vicious to women who are meek and submissive. I mean, we see a real life example of that - Depp was basically nicest guy round the block around Paradis and beats the shit out of Heard.

It is also entirely possible that your friend has a hold over her boyfriend that she holds over his head and permits this situation to perpetuate or that once your friend and her boyfriend are privately together, she more than makes up for whatever mistreatment you see of her doing.

Having said that, I don't think men love being treated poorly, but they often put themselves into a situation where there is no choice but to treat them poorly. In my personal experience and in the majority experience of other women, if a woman treats a man nicely, the man doesn't feel affection and gratitude towards the woman for treating him nicely and seek to return the favor, the man feels entitlement and contempt for the woman and proceeds to push the woman to see how far they can get away with it. When I greeted my ex with a home-cooked dinner ready for his arrival, did he give me a thank you kiss and a shoulder massage? No, he fucking cracked "a joke" about handing him a beer and getting down on my knees to blow him. Shit like that gets real old after a while, and that's why he's my ex.

>>17249659
So hes Doomed?
>>17249668
No
>>17249684
but he literally has scars from her... granted she isn't physically abusive anymore, she emotionally abuses him and causes him to sort of shut everything out... he just gives a glazed, weak smile and acts happy when its obvious he isn't happy, when you catch him alone, he always looks miserable.
>>17249694
I would love a boyfriend like him, hell I would love to date him, another friend of mine had a thing with him and even though she married another guy, she still has him on a pedestal. Hes very sweet and extremely patient, hes also very very generous. I'd say the only problem is hes a bit baby birdish... he doesn't have the best job in the world, I know he isn't happy where he works and his previous job his girlfriend, my friend, kinda made him miserable while he was working there as an animator.
>>17249711
I have a relatively decent idea, I talk to his friends, I'm friends with her and all her friends, I don't get much alone or face time with him, mostly because shes VERY protective and jealous.

>>17250402
>I would love a boyfriend like him, hell I would love to date him

Why? Do you want to abuse and boss him around too?

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>>17249659
>There are plenty of fish in the sea, but he was raised around piranhas, he doesn't know what it's like to chill with some cool-ass sea-lions.

That's such a cool line. I think i might have to steal that. I really really like that.

>>17250487
Sea lions are more likely to attack you than piranhas.

>>17250487
It is very unsafe to come within approximately 2.5 meters of a sea lion

>>17250494
>>17250504
Still sounded cool to me.

>>17250494
>>17250504
Then rephrase with a clownfish? Whatever

>>17249711
>if you don't abuse and berate your boyfriend in public, he won't properly appreciate you

you are fucking psychotic

>>17249536
This called emotional abuse or manipulation

She is playing on his insecurities, he probably thinks this is the best he can do and has a fear of being alone, she sound like a bitch

I personally cant stand demanding women and have never tolerated them, i like a girl who can stand up for herself and knows what she wants, there is a fine line between these 2

>>17250402
Why do you wnat to date him?
He sounds textbook people pleasing beta.

>>17250402
I think it's coming from his upbringing. Kids usually try to copy their parents and look for a partner to recreate the same scenario, if that doesn't work or it's obviously wrong what happened, then they revert to being sensitive and people pleasing in the hopes of getting appreciation and security for it. This is true for both boys and girls, boys become whimps and girls will have daddy issues. He's not hopeless, he just need a girlfriend who is confident, can take the lead if needed but also supportive.

>>17249536
Nobody wants to be treated poorly, its just the nature of an abusive relationship, its super hard to get out of.

Why do you always end up dating assholes OP? Is it because you like being treated poorly too?
Why are you still friends with her if she treats her boyfriend like that?

Hard to save someone unless they want to be saved and are willing to work on themselves. Your perception of what he deserves may not be the same as his perception, and that is hard to change. You also need to be pretty stable and logical yourself. If you're asking if men just like being treated poorly, I don't think you are in a good position to help him or someone like him.

>>17249644
This
I know this feeling. My mother couldn't separate from my grandmother and she abused and emasculated the shit out of my father, and I was raised that masculinity is from the devil and I should just do my job. When I grew up I instinctively wanted a girl to tell me what to do, and I was a total doormat. It was extremely hard to overcome it and start really respecting myself as a person and not just being an empty shell who equates himself with his work.
What helped me is that I was quite attractive and a lot of girls were into me, but one of them who acted relly decently and I respected a lot was so kind, caring, and supportive, and I got so much positive feedback from her, that it started to make me wonder if I worth more and could actually be a likeable person if someone like her respected me. Since then I married her and it deels like heaven. I could never even think about being with a demanding bitch anymore.
So OP, he's not lost, he just needs someone who he can respect to show him a better way.