>>17244790
You know they are the right person when you can talk to them for hours on end. With long-term relationships, sex and pure physical attraction isn't enough. There has to be something else under the surface; I knew my fiance was the one when I realized that we could talk and debate about anything- from philosophy to politics and could coherently understand the other person's point of view and perspective.

TL;DR - look for someone you can be good friends with and the relationship shit will come naturally

>>17244790
>How?
myspace while i was stationed in Japan.

>howd you know they were the right one?
didnt. and you never really do. its all roulette.

>only attract fucked up girls
then stop fucking the fucked up ones. you are trying to make hoes into housewifes so to speak. those that have issues are just one night stands. if i found out my wife did have daddy issues or a disorder i wouldnt have married them and slowly backed out. if i have the same id expect a woman to deuce out on me as well.

especially mental disorders. jesus why or how does a man fucking marry one of these? then a few years down the road "woman with bipolar disorders kills her two kids with a hammer."
>oh she was fine, medication was making her better
no sympathy....well for the kids yea but the dad no. shouldnt stick your dick in stupid or crazy.

>>17244804
I had that with the latest one, i thought that's it but she cheated on me a month before wedding.

>>17244806
You seem sadly right. But I can't stop feeling compassionate for people, even now I feel bad for this crazy bitch I've dropped.

For finding people, maybe internet is the way indeed as you say, so far this was all "accidents" and "random" shit happening to me and I was taking what's life offering me at this point. But aren't there also creeps and psychos hunting people on those dating sites?

>>17244790
Well senpai I'm not exactly your target audience because I just ended my last relationship after three years, but it was my first healthy relationship after years and years of several unstable, such dials psychotic, abusive people. Would've probably lasted longer but I realized I needed time to myself because I haven't truly been single since I was a teenager. So I like to think I count, and have been where you have.

The bottom line: you might feel like a "crazy magnet" but it's not true. The thing with unstable women (and probably unstable men too) is that they just mostly just want someone, anyone, to want them and spend time with them. Doesn't matter who. I bet your exes found new guys pretty quickly after you broke up. A lot of mine did, and it finally made me realize that I was just a warm body to them, to fill the hole that daddy or their brain chemistry or whoever left. I know that's a really cynical thing to say but it's the truth.

People with problems are the easiest ones to get with, you're settling for the lowest common denominator because it's what you know. There are much better ones out there, but you have to look for them and have standards. Eventually you do learn to spot the red flags and stop putting up with them, but finding a quality partner takes time and you can't force it so just be patient and focus on improving your own life and happiness in the meantime

We met trough mutual friends and knew each other for 2 years prior to starting dating.
I know he's the one because we actually communicate and can find solutions for "problems" in a calm and mature way. I know he's the one because we can talk abiut everything and for hours on end, and have "real discussions". I know he's the one because we share most values. I know he's the one because our sex is mindblowing, simply because we feel secure enough to own up to our desires and fantasies in each others presence. I know he's the one because i can picture us growing old togethet and i feel excited abot that, not scared. I know he's the one because i want to have his babies. I know he's the one because he makes me feel like nothing can bring us down.

I don't know how to find people like that. I just lucked out. In general, look out for persons that have their shit togethet and don't think the world revolves around them. The first thing i noticed about my fiance was how selfless, empathic and attentive he is towards EVERYONE

>>17244790

1. Trust your first impression. Once you start making excuses for people, you'll never stop

2. Avoid the girls that give in too easily. It sounds old-fashioned and cliche, but it's so often true. If she's willing and eager to have sex with you really soon after meeting you, there's probably something wrong. The really high-quality girls tend to be more patient and discriminating

3. Take it slow. I'm not necessarily talking about sex, but emotional investment. If she starts saying she loves you or talking about a future together within the first few weeks, something is wrong. You're looking for a girl who has her OWN SHIT GOING ON, who isn't looking for a man to fix all her problems, who can't just sign her life away to you without taking some time to think about it

4. Be real. Don't play games. Say what you're thinking and don't try to pass off a fake version of yourself. Don't pull any PUA-type tricks or mind games or tips you picked up online. Be a real, genuine person, and expect the same from her.

>>17244830
And this is what I come to /adv/ for.
Thanks man.

>>17244856
>4. Be real. Don't play games. Say what you're thinking and don't try to pass off a fake version of yourself. Don't pull any PUA-type tricks or mind games or tips you picked up online. Be a real, genuine person, and expect the same from her.

This is the only one I've been holding to so far.
But yeah, I've fucked up all above ones every time, I did not see the flags.

>>17244823
well...back in 05 myspace wasnt a dating site, and i myself would never join that shit. anyway is the way to meet people dude. not just internet or bar. i took the chance and it played out. i got lucky and thats the short of it. but like i said if i detected a hint of crazy or stupid. Out.

i realized pretty young that im not fucking here for you. i dont have time to "fix" your shit. you either have your shit together, or able to keep your shit together, or it aint gonna work. i wanted to marry a person not a fixer-upper. everyones got problems, the fact that yours are somehow worse than mine is of no concern to me. if your significant other cant function or "needs you in their life to be a better person" then thats no marriage, thats co-dependency.

you are not here for them, and they are not here for you. my wife isnt my best friend. she dosent like my music, she dosent like my movies or games. she dosnt care about guns or riding on my bike with me. and she dosent understand my interest in me building on my car. and i dont give a flying claw footed fuck about her environmental and animal shit. but we work cause we are a team. its not her problem or my problem, its our problem. its not my money or her money its ours. its not my car or her car its ours. we have been married for 10 years and i love her cause this woman is a cast iron bitch, just like momma was. and it works because she knows the value of being a cohesive unit.

>>17244875

The problem is, you probably give up on the girls who reject you the first time you ask them out.

>>17244879
>we have been married for 10 years and i love her cause this woman is a cast iron bitch, just like momma was. and it works because she knows the value of being a cohesive unit.

Seems like some sci-fi shit to me, you are a damn lucker man. Iron bitch seems like an extincted species for me, or maybe the are just already taken because they are top tier goods. I feel like I have 0 chance of finding any in my late 20's age. Only damaged goods is what left to pick from.

>>17244893
Sometimes "damaged goods" aren't just bad.
I'm definitely damaged goods, but the act of getting my shit together learned me a lot of very valueable things along the way. I learned to deal with hardship and pressure. To not give up and slip into "victime role". How i'm not the center of the world and how important values like loyalty and respect are. I have learned all my lessons the hard way, so theay actually stick with me. I won't just forget about my principles the moment a problem arises. Those lessons are rooted deeper than if mom and dad had tought them to me as a teen and i just took them on "because". All i do, i do with purpose and determination. I found out on my own what's the right thing to do.

>>17244881
Not the guy, but why would you continue with a girl, if she already rejected you ?

>>17244893
its funny thought cause i was actually a complete ass to her at first. in my mind she was out of my league and why should i bother trying to get closer when i knew that " i love you like a friend" was probably the answer. so i just treated her like a guy friend. that somehow interested her. she actually asked me out and i was taken back by that. dating was not normal i assure you. but by just being how i normally was all the time made her love me and it made me love her cause she showed me shes gonna do what she wants and if i dont wanna be with her then i could go to hell.

I am in an almost 2 yrs relationship now and I think the best advise from me would be really to start out as friends. I had been friends with my current bf for 3 years before we got together. Through this time I learned how he handled good and bad times, how he treated people, how he treated his family, what his interests are, what he's like in a bad mood, in a good mood.

In a friendship you will find out soon enough if the person you are interested in is a psycho or psychologically unstable in any way.

Good luck anon

Married:
Met completely randomly and just had a good time and decided to talk to each other later on, I think we 'got together' within a few weeks and things just worked out from there on.

The rest is love. I believe love does conquer. She died two years a go, and I still feel completely lost from time to time.

>>17245508
OP here.
Well, at least you still had something I'll probably never have, you can come back to it in memories. I wish to forget everything till this point.

Been with my boyfriend three years, don't see us breaking up any time soon.

>Please tell me how did you find the person you are with right now
Met him in first week of uni. Sat next to each other in class, hit it off, and became good friends. Three years later, he asked me out and we've been together ever since

>how dit you know this was the "right" one to trust.
I've never had a reason not to trust him. He's my best friend, and I'm his best friend. I can honestly say I've never met anyone I get along with better than him

I don't think my story is typical or normal though.

4 years with my boyfriend - Healthiest, happiest and most amazing relationship I've ever had.
He made a dumb joke at a bar while he was talking to his friend, I overheard it and laughed. We spent the night talking and I knew he was the one before he walked me home.

Advice, huh.
Be yourself. Which is the most meme advice of all /adv/ but has some truth. Don't play games. Show them who you are and make them love you for you.
Get to know people before investing on them. Don't convince yourself that they're the love of your life after three weeks.
Know what you're worth and what you need. Have standards. Don't date people just because it's better than being alone.
Don't save people. Don't be responsive for people's happiness. take care of yourself.
Communicate.