Hey /adv/, I realize this is a common problem but I'm at my wit's end.
Three months ago my then girlfriend called me to say she felt the relationship stopped working and quickly after that she sent her family to pick up her stuff.
The breakup wasn't resentful, just deeply sad, neither of us wronged the other.
But now, three months later, I cannot let her go as I should. I feel like I still can't flirt and I still miss my ex immensely, and often have dream where we're still together.
What can I do to help myself move on?
So is it 8 years or 3 months? Or is it two different people? Either way, I have no answer, as I am in a situation of liking someone for 8+ years as well.
>>17239579
We've been together for eight years, seperated for three months now.
>>17239595
well i'm an idiot, that's obvious to me now. sorry. im up much too late and am drunk. just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. sorry im not of any help.
>>17239615
No problem. In the end it's not a big deal, just a personal issue. Just difficult to wrap my head around.
First of all, don't expect it to happen immediately. Especially with a relationship that long. I'd have been surprised if someone managed to get over an 8 year relationship in only a scant few months.
But you can do some things to help a little. First up, get counselling/therapy. Therapists or counsellors specializing in grief therapy and/or divorce, possibly other things. And don't give me any of that bullshit about not needing one. If you break a bone, you see the ER. If you have a toothache, you see a dentist. You're dealing with this, so get counselling. They're trained to help with this sort of thing.
Second, you have to make a decision to make things change, and to put that decision into action. Sometimes this is harder than it looks. For me, dealing with my ex leaving, I spent a long time not making that choice. I realize now that I had to choose between my hope of fixing things someday and the ability to get over it. But it is my experience that through hard work a person can change most things about themselves.
Keep pushing through. Take things one day at a time. It sucks and it will suck but just keep going and eventually it will start to suck less.
>>17239575
Short n sweet, op. Time will change you, but you gotta change too. You need to gut your life of everything that you had together. Tabula rasa. Clean slate it all. It helps.
