I've never flirted with a girl because i'm afraid they'll find me creepy
How do I learn when it is okay to flirt with a girl so I can hopefully try at some point
Not sure OP. I learned from an early age that some people aren't "allowed" to flirt. Getting /fit/ doesn't seem to change anything
>>17211605
try it on your sister/mother as like a test then flirt with a real girl
>>17211642
this
if you happen to be succesfull, you could also get some kissing/sex practice with them
>>17211605
The fear of flirting with girls usually has to do with the fact that you're thinking about them thinking you're only flirting with them for sex.
A trick I've used is to flirt with fat girls. Don't fuck them, just use them as practice. People rarely talk to them so they welcome the attention. Gradually move on to prettier women until you're flirting with a girl you would actually want to fuck.
>>17211672
>People rarely talk to them so they welcome the attention
>2016
>still falling for this meme
>>17211672
This right here
Never flirt when you're thirsty, that's a turn off.
Only flirt cause you're a fun guy.
>>17211672
Women have a lifetime of experience with teasing, you'd think they'd know if you were just being a tease.
>>17211621
This.
So much.
"creep" here.
>Getting /fit/ doesn't seem to change anything.
Nothing changers anything.
You be friendly and polite, hoping people can see past the creepiness and give you a chance and you're "too nice", or a "nice guy".
Get ripped and you are "arrogant".
Stay fat and your lazy.
The fact of the matter is, and this is a truth that no normal person would say, they couldn't even comprehend it; Some of us are just fucking creepy. No matter what.
I've posted about my rules for survival as a creep before, my masquerade and "fitting in". How it is better for "creeps" to treat women like social landmines rather than any potential relationship of any kind.
Got mixed responses, some telling me my rules are stupid and guarantee I'll be alone forever (pretty much a given anyway), others telling me it made them sad for me, or some even saying that my rules are rather respectful of others.
My point is, if your'e a creep, there is nothing much you can do about it except learn to live with it. Adapt.
Personally, I think you should try. Once.
You'll know where you stand (if you're a creep) after that, and can then make adjustments.
Normal people won't get this, they'll automatically believe you've done something horrendously wrong to deserve it otherwise (just world fallacy), that you've been cursed by some karmic god or deity.
But the ther poster had it right, some people just aren't "allowed" to flirt.
Try it once, and you'll know if your one of these people.
>>17211690
>anon said, as he loaded his shotgun
>>17211605
girls do not run the world. they wont actually call the cops cuz someone flirted with them. you are a man. flirt with a woman literally whenever you like. you think chad actually sits down and thinks 'WOW I WANT TO FLIRT WITH HER BUT THIS SITUATION IS OFF LIMITS, AS PER THE GIRLCODE SECTION 8.22'
its flirting. im not saying go up and be like 'DAYUM GIRL YOU BEAUTIFUL' cuz thats not firting. flirting is more or less casual conversation with a romantic edge
>>17211605
>that i can HOPEFULLY try at SOME POINT
why ask for advice you dont intend to use? just do it mate.
>>17211605
>>17211621
>>17211690
You people are retarded
The reason girls see people as creepy are because they have been put in an uncomfortable situation not because they're evil or hate you
For example
1) ugly guy trying to get with them at a party or whatever
2) guy with low social status asks them out in public
It's true being ugly and loner is bad for your chances but you won't always be a 'creep' like some incels here keep saying
If you want gf ask out girls at similar social status and do it ONE ON ONE
If you wanna pretend to be Chad you'll need to improve your social status first then no one can call you creepy (unless you do something wayyyy autistic) because everyone loves you
You can flirt with girls 24/7 if you're not the desperate type of sexual flirter.
>>17212044
Ignoring the fact that this is probably a troll post, what makes you think we haven't asked girls "ONE ON ONE?" Or that we haven't asked girls with "lower social status" than us? Let's be clear here; I'm talking about people who have tried for years, without success, to have a relationship with girls. People who tried once and gave up don't apply, and as >>17211690 said, it seems like most normal people can't even understand this. It's like they think there's just some switch in our personality we can flip and all our problems will go away.
>>17212044
What the fuck is social status even? I have 3 close friends and that's it
>>17212292
Then how do you explain other spergs getting girls?
I'm not pretending the world is fair or anything. It is harder for certain people.
But it's not impossible. I notice a lot of guys here try to take the easy way out and minimize their risk because they're afraid of being creeps
Do you not fucking understand that that attitude is exactly why you're having problems? Because you're too afraid to take a that's why you get no reward
>>17212512
Because some spergs are attractive. If you're average/below average and you're also a sperg, you come off as creepy
If you have no friends, and have poor social skills, how do you get girls? What do you even say to them, for example to a:
> girl at a club or bar alone
> girl at a club or bar with other people (guys or girls)
> girl on the street who is looking at her phone or has headphones on
I can open and day, hi how are you. But the girls just say "good" and walk away
Or am I supposed to flirt with girls I meet through friends (i have no friends), work (I'm not very popular at work), and hobbies (I have none)
>>17212563
Plz respond
>>17212638
>>17211605
Read:
>Lowndes "How to make anyone fall in love with you".
>Glover "No more Mr. nice guy."
And then: Practice, practice, practice.
With girls that are OUTSIDE of your normal social circle.
At least that is what got me outside of the creep zone after some years
>>17212292
That attitude is EXACTLY what causes your problem. Anxiety & fear are creepy. Lack of courage is the same.
>>17212563
Well, you just have to compensate for it. If you have no friends, it often means you lack other qualities as well. I have one real friend outside of coworkers right now, but I spend a lot of that time improving myself in various ways and it shows. If you don't have any friends and squander that free time, no one will be interested in you.
Also stop trying to "get" girls. You should be out trying to meet one who matches your personality.
>>17212563
> girl at a club or bar alone
HI!!!! What is your name? I am XYZ?! Yeah, nice to meet you. Lovly night. Just have been dancing in club xyz, hey, what have you planned. Oh? You are an accountant. I love Accountants. Once met a dude who was that while on a trip to Hong Kong. That guy REALLY loved eating hot pot. Have you eaten hot pot before? I know a good hot place over here as well. Did you ever ..."
> girl at a club or bar with other people (guys or girls)
Gain the Group first, become a part of the group genuinely having fun in the activity, say high to
the girl, but instead chat up an uglier friend of her up, then gradually shift back attention to her.
> girl on the street who is looking at her phone or has headphones on
You don't. She is signaling that she is not interested in conversation.
>>17211659
I love this place.
>>17212832
>You don't. She is signaling that she is not interested in conversation.
What if she doesn't have headphones in?
What if she's on a bench in a park, maybe reading
Where can I meet girls, other than bars/clubs, I have no social hobbies, and no friends
>>17212870
Also
> try to make eye contact with girls on the street, every single one looks away
Am I just not supposed to approach girls on the street?
>>17212870
>What if she doesn't have headphones in?
>What if she's on a bench in a park, maybe reading
Reading is more acceptable to disturb someone, but unless you are fairly good at game it is difficult to get to hookups from there. Getting to know her as a friend and potential serious date is easy though.
"Hey what are you reading? Oh, that sounds interesting. That story reminds me of that story in XYZ I read. Do you like that kind of stor ... oh, you read it for uni, I see? So you study for literature? I knew a guy once who studied as well. Man he knew stuff. Speaking of which ..."
You get the idea.
Unless you talk about deep stuff, politics, religion, controversial topics, what you say is less important than flow, wit and how you say it (what feelings you convey threw tone, etc.)
>Where can I meet girls, other than bars/clubs,
The library (Not inside the reading rooms of course. But the relax areas they have, etc.), the park, festivals, faires, local kebab place, a fountain people sit around in summer, uni/ work...
>I have no social hobbies, and no friends
Get both.
>>17211659
>practice
>>17212512
Ah, there it is again, the typical "you didn't try hard enough" answer. Normally I'd tell you that your cognitive dissonance for explaining this "unfairness" is just your problem and leave it at that. The thing is though is that it becomes my problem when people can't wrap their heads around the idea that we have tried, and probably more times than you have, to talk to the opposite sex with a bunch of different kinds of "approaches," and not even necessarily to get laid or be in a relationship. Somehow that's incomprehensible to you though; instead, you warp this with excuses of "no, try harder, try x, do y," not realizing that we have been on this goose chase for a long time, and probably both longer and with more energy than you have. And again, you misunderstanding this is all well and good, except for the fact that it acts as a sort of filter through which you see the rest of us. Because you see us as not trying hard enough, or not having as much energy or perseverance as you, it may lead you dismiss us as not being your equals. This is the same line of reasoning that leads to prejudice in general, and it's the source of the generic "u r beta virgin lol" responses. Of course, the obvious response here is
>what makes you think you deserve a gf anyway? Life isn’t fair
>>17212992
I’m well aware that life is not fair, and I wouldn’t claim otherwise. Regardless of how healthy and fit I am, or how well I can support myself, or anything along those lines, I seem to have gotten the evolutionary short end of the stick, and bitching about it won’t change anything. Like us, you are no doubt aware of how “unfair” the world can be, and like some of us, you might not necessarily think the world has any obligation to be “fair.” My issue isn’t with what I “deserve” however; I don’t think I deserve anything. The universe doesn’t care about what you “deserve,” or what is “fair” or what is “right.” The fact of the matter is that I will be prejudged based on your preconceptions about people who don’t get laid, despite all the efforts I’ve put forth or whatever abilities or skills I have that you don’t. In fact, claiming to have put forth effort seems to make it worse, as if trying and failing is worse than trying at all. Anything we can say or do is automatically negated in social circles with a “lol he no get gf” card, and it forces us to hide it like some kind of mark of shame.
>>17212812
I’ve heard of this before; I don’t think I even need to point out the irony here. That being said, the solution isn’t as simple as a catch 22. Simply not chasing girls doesn’t cause you to suddenly be attractive, and anyone who actually has quit chasing girls can attest to that. Those who have given up completely, but still take care and maintain themselves, hold jobs, are healthy, and do other “attractive” things will agree with me.
>Well you still have to try. It isn’t the same as just giving up
What is it then? So we can’t pay any attention to girls because that’s unattractive, but if we don’t try, they lose interest? People on here say to be forefront with your emotions and say what you want because it comes off as confident, but then turn around and say to quit chasing them because it comes off as desperate and unconfident. The fact that this paradox isn’t a problem for some but is for others is proof that it’s not so simple as a catch 22.
>>17212998
>>17212998
I think this comment is more proof that some people can’t understand where we’re coming from here. It’s like they have some sort of defense mechanism that keeps them from comprehending a world where they are innately unattractive. I think the idea that somebody is unattractive not because of what they do, or say, or how the look, or who they’re around, but because of who they actually are, is so repulsive to people that they cannot accept it unless reality forces them. This is the source of all the “excuses” and insecurities people give when they repeatedly fail again and again with the opposite sex, since their brain scrambles for any reason to give for their shortcomings besides them. It is this same barrier that keeps people from understanding how somebody cannot be successful with the opposite gender; “there must be something wrong with you that you can fix, it isn’t just who you are.”
>>17212992
>>17212996
>>17212998
>>17213004
Why does this massive flaming faggot feel the need to put pictures of animals in these posts?
>>17213004
Despite everything that people say on here, and all the excuses people make, I have found that some people, myself included, are unattractive simply because of who they are, and no amount of pointing fingers or reassigning blame is going to change that. For those that are this way, you should learn to accept who you are, rather than attempting to hold yourself to the standards and goals of other people. Don’t base your opinion of yourself on what other people think of you. For those that do not have this apparent problem, hold your prejudice, because there are those that have exerted the effort with women, that have tried everything, and still failed. This doesn’t mean they are weaker than you, that they have less drive than you, that they are dumber than you, or that they are somehow inferior to you, and by perpetuating that belief, you shame them into not accepting who they are as people, and instead making insecure excuses.
Tl;dr We have tried, and your opinions about it are invalid.
Welp, I'm off to work now /adv/ I'll see you in about 8 hours
>>17213042
>not liking pictures of nature
>>17212903
Bump, do I need the girls to make eye contact? I see so many good looking girls on the street or the train
>>17212828
>>17212832
>>17212904
Thanks, these are helpful
>>17213046
>wagecuck
No wonder.
bump, how do I flirt
>>17212904
>>17212904
Can I meet girls at the mall?
>>17213046
>>17213521
I agree with him though, because please remember if you're a druglord and the only types of girls you like are slavic-greek underages, then obviously it's gonna be difficult for them to like you back. Obviously money is not a problem and you're in Chad's Beta House so what's the problem?
Oh, you're creepy and a pedo to boot wowie who would have guessed. lmao
i have social anxiety and its hard to maintain eye contact with people
i gradually got better at it, but i still dont know the queues for when to start eye contact or end it
i've read stuff about it, that when trying to flirt you try to be the one that maintains it until the other person looks away
is that being creepy?
>>17211605
I don't know man, I don't think I've ever 'tried' to flirt with a woman.. If I think about doing it I chicken out cause I think too much.
But.. I've been in customer service and sales for a long time and sometimes I'll just start talking to a woman (stranger, not while I'm working though) about something circumstantial and have a flowing conversation. Then my friends will say afterwards 'man.. you were really flirting with that girl' but to me it just feels like a customer service situation except it's specifically with a pretty woman. Body language and confidence and a bit of witty humour is what makes it happen.
Having said that, in similar situations I've totally dissed pretty looking women simply because of the attitude in their facial expression or body language. I only do this 'flirting' thing with women who seem to have good temperaments.
Drugs also help..
>>17211621
>getting /fit/ doesn't seem to change anything
please don't say that ;~;
It has to be an established part of your personality almost- Can't come across as forced or desperate- Helps to be attractive (I'm sorry, it's true- but even still not fumbling over your words like mom's spaghetti can help a lot) I work in retail and I get a lot of shit for "flirting with everyone" even though i'm absolutely not- i'm borderline asexual- It's just my personality.
The problem is that a lot of people that "want" to flirt often do so out of a place of desperation or loneliness, and the whole act reeks of it. You have to get comfortable with yourself, first, before you can really schmooze. Too many people think that "getting laid" or "getting with girls" will automatically make them confident, change their life, etc...That's total bullshit. You've gotta be someone worth flirting with, or at least talking to. Gotta learn to let go of the idea that anything that happens matters in the long run, just be cool and collected i guess.
>>17211684
Nope. They are fucking stupid and even when I'm not flirting they think I'm flirting, but usually don't realise that it's actually them who are flirting.
>>17215174
It almost really is just that some people "have it" and others "don't"
But just because you don't now doesn't mean you never will. Make friends. Don't start by practicing flirting right away- Get to know people you have no interest in fucking, learn to get along smoothly with random assholes, to gel with society and groups at large. The more people that "validate" you, so to speak, the more there are to remind you maybe you're not total scum. IMO it's rare for some random asshole nobody likes to be a hit, you've gotta have a sorta reputation as a cool dude, likeable, etc. Get on well with people. Maybe they'll introduce you to people (even these fabled "girls" that exist on a pedestal) and it'll just be easier than you thought. Let go of the idea of fucking, romance, etc, the more you focus on it the more you'll cuck yourself. Just get on with people, network, so to speak.
>>17211678
Personally I can still be thirsty and flirt by removing any intention of fucking them. ie. I know I'll be leaving in a few mins so I'll just be a cheeky fucker and smile a lot. Then leave. Good practice if nothing else.
>>17215167
Lol.. Gotta laugh at the /fit/fags who don't do it for themselves..
>>17211690
Bullshit. You gotta dive in like no one is watching.
You think Napoleon Dynamite would have gotten pussy after he danced like that? Biggest creep aspie ever, and for sure chicks would have seen that movie and wanted to jump him.
>>17212832
Lol, this is typical shit from The Game used by millions of men for decades.
You don't think women are clued into it by now? Well.. Might work if you want to fuck dumb chicks..
>>17215181
>>17215181
So start talking to random guys first?
What should I say to them, what reason would I have to talk to strangers? No-one that I don't know approaches and talks to me
>>17215201
>mfw people think there's a script to follow that works
>people that use it constantly bitching that chicks are dumb
>not realizing they're dumb as fuck too and deserve it
Agreed anon
>>17215201
How would you talk to them then?
>>17215190
I'm not /fit/.. I'm trying to get into it.. having people like me was incentive
>>17215203
Surely you have a job? Do you get on well with your co-workers? Yeah a lot of them are probably assholes, but it's easier to get along. Gets you a window to get more dirt on people if you're "friends" anyways.
Don't just approach random ass dudes, no, I mean, just practice talking to the "npc's" in your life, so to speak- Cashiers, the like. I don't know. Listen to people. It's hard to explain I guess.
>>17215215
I have coworkers, but I think I've already left a bad first impression on all of them
its basically just about being good look and a guy social status. if a guy is ungly and unpopular and he flirts with a normie girl, she will find it creepy, however, if the guy is attractive and popular, she will like it. one of my friends says odd, weird things to girls but he is popular and good looking so girls find it cute.
>>17215234
>already
That makes it sound like it's a fairly new gig. It's normal, especially if you're "apart" from the norm, to leave a bad first impression. I do it all the time.
My first girlfriend hated me, because I used to yell "nigger" all the time back when I was a fucking newfag on /b/ years ago. The point is, you can recover. The most important thing is to not force anything, not to try too hard.
Idk man. Just try to talk to people. If you're around them often enough you'll have to.I get the feeling you're sorta young so you've got time.
>>17215215
>>17215215
Other than coworkers and cashiers, who can I talk to? I don't know anyone else.
>>17215339
plz respond
