Nervousness. Be there for him, communicate with him. If he's frustrated of his performance tell him that it's ok, the more frustrated he is, the less he will be able to perform.
Also, you could suggest him oral. That's not something he is unable to do until you cum.

>>17198968
Don't talk with him about this during the day, talk to him about this with his dick in your hand nearing orgasm.

Sit on his face.

>>17198968
Have the opposite problem, my girl nuts easily asf, and gets frustrated that she can't make me cum. Really doesn't bother me much, cause I love pleasing her more than getting my rocks off anyways.

>>17198983
Make her cum again and again.

Pretty much nobody has sex after being together 10 years. Enjoy the platonic aspect of ypur relationship and learn how to masturbate.

>>17198986
I do. I really want to get up to double digits, but somewhere after the fifth time she starts to say "no more" and tries to push herself off of me.

>>17198975
>Nervousness. Be there for him, communicate with him.
I always try to do it.

>Also, you could suggest him oral.
He isn't great at it or at fingering me.
Is there a way to teach him how to do it without hurting his feelings?

>>17198979
It's the kind of discussion that takes more than a few seconds.

>>17198981
I do, whenever he asks me.

>>17198987
I love the platonic aspect and I masturbate, but I'm not going to give up on sex with my partner. I want to be with him for the rest of my life, no way I'm going to settle with mediocre-at-best sex forever.

>>17198995
How long does it take for you to cum?

>>17199007
Just masturbating? Maybe 10 minutes.
But she's never made me cum from just using her hands or mouth. I've had to basically jack myself off in her mouth. Again, I'm fine with that. Just sucks she feels frustrated from it.

>>17199006
>Is there a way to teach him how to do it without hurting his feelings?
Surebe honest and give good feedback, that is if you know how to do it well. If not, be open and experiment. Honesty and communication is the most important thing.
>It's the kind of discussion that takes more than a few seconds.
Lead him. Guide him, be playful. It doesn't have to be a dead serious conversation. If you cuddle up with him at night from behind and gently start stroking his dick with your hand, you have all the time to discuss things though.
>I do, whenever he asks me.
Then stay on top till you cum.

Seems like you didn't put in effort to explore your sexuality well enough and being first and only that was your only source of experience. Communicate and explore.

>>17199020
Give her feedback. What does she do wrong?

>>17199020
I've never had a chick make me cum using her hands either, handjobs are a meme.

But I have no idea how you can't come from a good blowjob.

>>17199028
I...I don't know, I'm not an expert at blowjobs, but I think it's mainly that her jaw gets tired, and she has a small mouth. Cause I'll get pretty close, and then she'll stop for a rest. I think she probably just needs a little bit more practice.

>>17199033
You'd think that if you can make yourself cum with your hands than others should be able to also...

>>17199027
>Sure be honest and give good feedback, that is if you know how to do it well.
>Lead him. Guide him, be playful.
He gets frustrated if I give him feedback or try to guide him.
He says that if I have to tell him what he has to do, I can do it on my own. He has his idea of sexuality and I can't seem to make him do what I like without him getting offended.

>Then stay on top till you cum.
He gets too horny from it, he starts touching himself and comes when I'm just sitting there.

>>17199040
How long does it take for her to make you almost cum. If she's doing it good, it should be less than you jerking yourself.

>>17199054
He's a manchild and can't get over his pride. This is a bs you need to call him out on or it will cause a lot of headaches further down the road.

>comes when I'm just sitting there
Then stay after he came. His tongue won't get limp afer an orgasm. You made him come, he should make you, or start riding his face to come faster.

>>17199079
>He's a manchild and can't get over his pride.
I am a bit like that, too. I try to not be overly critical with him, but he didn't give me an orgasm in 6 months, so maybe I sound a bit frustrated.

I do whatever he talked to me about - roleplay, fetishes, fantasies, I've always tried to do all he told me. I give him oral, I initiate a lot, I take charge in bed. He knows what I like, I TOLD him what I like, I SHOWED him what I like, and he can't just do it.
I feel like he uses me to masturbate at this point.

>>17199109
This is a valid point. Tell him this, and guide him.
Why doesn't the oral and facesitting part work? It doesn't have to be over when he comes.

>>17199109
>I'm like that
Nope, you do what it takes to satisfy him and listen to him. You don't think that you're a master semen demon who kows everything and gets frustrated if he diesn'tlike what you do.

>>17199109
You're not like that if he's getting off every single fucking time. Don't make excuses for his behavior. Your analysis is goddamn right, he is using you to masturbate and that's childish as fuck. How short he lasts is completely irrelevant, thus his frustration is bullshit. He has the right to be frustrated when you're getting more out of it than him.

>>17199109
Get fucking used OP. You are a premium flesh lite.

If he is getting frustrated at himself when he can't make you cum, he is insecure and nervous. If he's getting frustrated at you, he's selfish and doesn't want to keep failing at making you cum because he either doesn't care, or it's hurting his self esteem.

Try joking around with him about it. I mean like biker humor, "make me cum for once faggot" or something like that. The way guys talk shit to each other in a friendly way. Maybe this could disarm him enough to actually try it without feeling bad.

this boils down to either insecurity or he just doesn't fucking care

>>17198968
Just have him finger you or eat you out. Bring toys into it. If he doesn't compromise, then you're better off breaking it off and finding someone who you're more sexually compatible with.

>>17199118
>Why doesn't the oral and facesitting part work? It doesn't have to be over when he comes.
I just never tried it, I always feel it is over when he comes.
I'll give it a try. It's not something I want to do every time, but maybe to get off once in a while it'd work.

>>17199118
>>17199142
I meant I'm a bit insecure and I don't take criticism well, even if I'm working on this and I improved tons. Now I can surely handle criticism better than I used to, and better than him.
But yes, I'm surely putting more effort than he is, and getting less.

>>17199167
I don't want to be a premium fleshlite, I fucking wasn't till a few months back.
We had good sex, and a lot of it. He initiated more often and I came almost every time.

>this boils down to either insecurity or he just doesn't fucking care
He is generally not that sexual and has a low libido, but he never reached this level before.

>>17199177
>then you're better off breaking it off and finding someone who you're more sexually compatible with.
I wouldn't break up with him over this. This guy is going to be the father of my kids and he's the love of my life.
I want to solve things because I want to be with him, but even if I have to go through a life of silent masturbation in the bathtub, it'd be worth it to wake up next to him every day.

>>17199243
Try it because it's a mesaage that he's neglecting your joy. Lead a bit more in bed.

>don't take criticism well
That's maybe true but in this case you took criticism will and you became really gotta at what you're doing.

>>17199243
You guys seem fine if he actually used to put in a lot of effort. Tell him to quit jerking off or lift weights to increase his libido. Maybe drink a little to reduce inhibitions. Countless people have the same issues as you and there is an ocean of advice for this exact problem.

>>17198968
He's ashamed of himself because he cums quickly. When he comes quickly way before you he obviously feels like he's not pleasing you. I was the same way with my ex. It's not a good feeling on his end.

He doesn't want to talk about it because he's embarrassed and feels like shit about it. You have to reassure him that it's normal, he's way too excited in bed.

We had a small argument and I tried to bring this stuff up.

He is behind with thesis work and he was stressing about it. He didn't even realize that he was acting like an idiot. He tried to hide it and never talked to be about it because I'm going through a lot, and he wanted to protect me.
We wrote down a plan to get back on track with thesis, I'll take care of the house and our other responsibilities and I'll try to make him relax when he's not busy. When he'll be done with all the stuff he left behind (it should take around 10 days) I'll try to improve the sex.

Thanks to everyone, you've all been really kind.

>>17199243
I'm A Bi guy in a 4 year relationship with a gay guy so i don't know how much this will help you... I have a low libido and I generally cum too fast as well. What I have found works for us is my BF not touching my cock at all and being somewhat dominant in me pleasuring him. Since i still get the fun of playing with him and as soon as he cums the pay off for me comes within moments anyway.

Maybe try to be restrictive to him? Hold his hands above his head while he give you oral? Tell him he isnt allowed to cum until he makes you cum.

>>17198968
>are each others first
>somehow know he isn't great at sex
Hmmmm

>>17199776
I didn't orgasm with him for the first 5 years of our relationship. I think I can frankly say he is not amazing in bed, even if he improved a lot and sex with him was good.

Act like you intentionally made him climax so quickly because you are hot as fuck. It will/might shift the 'fault' and make him feel more comfortable about it. And if he believes you are trying to hard to get him off, he might start to reciprocate.

Or maybe he's just a piece of shit.

Whatever.

>>17199801
You'rea really patient woman, or you really love him and he had to really piss you off thia time.

>>17199430
We've been together for years, I hope he understands that the quality of sex is not a dealbreaker as long as he puts some effort at it.

>>17199835
Kind of both.
I didn't tell him what I wanted because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I was immature, and kind of expected him to be a mind reader and do what I wanted without telling him.
I thought we grew out of the mediocre-sex-phase, I hate being back to it.

>>17199020
Gosh, stop consuming porn and jacking off all the time like the empty uninteresting guy you are and pick up cool hobbies instead if you are bored.

>>17198987
Bullfuckingshits. Married 10 years, together 12, three little kids running around the house. Still having sneaky sex or whatever the kids are with aunts/Grandma

>>17199006
>Is there a way to teach him how to do it without hurting his feelings?
Tell him what to do, or if you want to be sneaky moan really really loud when he does a good job, and don't when he isn't. It'll help him figure out what to do and probably turn him on for round two.

>>17199033
Different anon but I've never cum from a blowjob and I've had several girls try (they see it as a challenge)

>>17199006
>He isn't great at it or at fingering me.
>Is there a way to teach him how to do it without hurting his feelings?
guide him? talk during oral and tell him directly "i like this" and say auch when you don't like it

>>17201073
Same goes for you. >>17201032

>>17199990
I think you just need to be forceful when you guide him. If you say something to help him and he starts acting shitty don't let him get to that point. Pull his head back into it and tell him to shut up and eat it. Be forceful but sexy and he should respond to that. If he doesn't he doesn't care about you in bed