Loneliness has been eating at my soul for several years and I'm starting to fear that there won't be much left soon. Everyone I talk to, I feel alienated. Removed. Distant. Unfit. Not unable though. I had a girlfriend for a while, but she left me like everyone else has. All I have left is my family, and sometimes even they look at me a little weird.
Something has to change and I don't know what it is. I have to do something differently and I have to do it soon. For months now, I can't shake the constant impulse that I'm running out of time. That soon it will be too late. For what, I don't even know.
I have a stable, solid, fulfilling job that engages my intellect every day. Financial security, and more material comforts than I probably deserve.
Anything?
Change the word lazy to "Being afraid of running out of time" and it applies to your circumstances.
It's not too late, but you gotta focus on getting out and off this site, it's a poor substitute for what you really want and need.
>>17198474
How old are you? What do you do when you are not working? You say you feel alienated, but how are your interactions with people?
More importantly, how do you want to change?
>>17198503
I'm 25.
When I'm not working, I generally ride my motorcycle. I'm very proud of it, even though it's not an especially nice one. That's the only thing I have that could really be called a hobby. I do it a lot.
My interactions with other people always feel forced. Like I'm somehow intervening something by diverting their attention. It never seems like anyone just wants to talk to me. This has gone on long enough to where my default rhetoric is somewhat cold, almost short and to some, seemingly snippy.
I think I have a pretty balanced and stable personality. I don't think I lack that. Tiny, tiny things used to completely set me off, but I don't really do that anymore. I've learned to let a lot of things go, which was hard for me and took a significant period of time.
What I lack is someone. Someone who sees and relates to my eccentricities without the need to view them from afar, only ever really tolerating them. Someone with whom I can sit and talk about nothing, doing nothing, for an undefined period of time without a mutual fear of judgement or offense. Someone to lean on when I need it, and someone who trusts me enough to lean on me when they need it.
And it's easy for me to say that; that I'm just fine and that the solutions to whatever sorrow I have lie in another person. And it's just as easy to say that happiness is to be found within oneself and not within another, and that's probably true. But if that's true, I have no idea why any of us ever feel lonely at all. What's the point? Why is that even a thing?
>>17198494
That's pretty well written, actually.
This place is a reflecting pool of sorts to me. Coming here for contact is futile. I know that.
I've gotten off my ass, I've gone out and done things with people. Things I didn't think were even all that much fun. One person comes to mind who ever enjoyed my company. Maybe I'm just doing it wrong.
>>17198752
Since you seem to know what you want, gonna link more good stuff related to what you're doing.
You seem to have done some of the introspection about the person you're looking for already, but pic related might be a jumping off point to help you catch things you may have missed.
>>17198752
You need friends to be happy, you need to be happy to make friends. Once you fall through and have zero friends, there's no going back.
The only thing that happens usually, is people taking pity on you, which can be infuriating.
>This has gone on long enough to where my default rhetoric is somewhat cold, almost short and to some, seemingly snippy.
I play it up for the hell of it, since in the last 6 or so years people have been able to peg me as depressive now. "A dark cloud" hangs over me or some bullshit like that.
>>17198474
>I had a girlfriend for a while, but she left me like everyone else has.
How did that happen? Was it like in Taxi Driver when Travis, somehow, gets a date with Betty and he decides a porno theater is a good first date.
These threads never get an ending.
>>17198752
Join a local motorcycle club? Introduce yourself confidently. Know what you are talking about when talking about bikes or at least your bike. You will find like minded people there. Let them be your friends. Move on from just bike related stuff to general socialisation.
>>17198494
Knowing that, what are you doing here?
>>17199663
He's stuck here and he can't bring himself to admit it.
Get a bicycle and be a MAMIL
Get a gaming PC and play EVE, GW2, LoL
Get a Linux laptop and become a hacker
>>17199663
Trying to help.
I just lurk once or twice a month nowadays, because I found posting let me pretend things weren't as bad as were, when what I really needed to do to make things better was join a few clubs and call up my old friends to play some vidya every two weeks or so.
Maybe >>17199666 is right that that's not really leaving, but I found it was enough to find a partner, to get more involved in my hobbies, and to build a generally decent social life.
It's not been a problem for me because it's not like the content here is going to be any different here tomorrow or next month. At a vaguely existential level, I realized it's mostly not worth my time to care about participating when every time I have participated in a thread, within a week the same thread comes up and nothing has changed.
Nowadays I only post in /adv/ threads where the OP looks like he has put some thought into the thread and needs help; I'd like to think there's a minuscule chance in those cases a little help might actually cause change.
>>17200922
OP here. Surprised to see you're still following the thread.
At least part of the reason why I posted originally is that I just get in a depressive mood some nights. I lose sight sometimes. People like me need people like you to slap us back on course sometimes. I thank you for that.
I started looking up motorcycle clubs in my city this morning. Might check one out.
