>try to be nice to people
>everyone thinks I'm a beta male loser
>try to be an alpha
>everyone thinks I'm an asshole/douchebag
Is it possible to find a middle ground? If so, then how?
You have to be good looking, of course.
>>17175501
this will solve all of your lifes problems.
>>17175500
>everyone thinks
This is where your problem is. You try to act according to what people think of you.
All those idiots over at /fit/ and other stupid bodybuilding/fitness boards think they're the most confident people in the world and call themselves "alpha", when they're just a copy of each other, and workout to be accepted in society. Once they open their gorilla mouths everyone knows they're as smart as a doorknob.
In all truth, a true alpha male is the one that is his own person. Not some fucking ape that needs to act tough and workout 5 hours a day to feel comfortable in his own skin.
In my freshman year in high school everyone thought I was a dumb flaccid cock because I mostly kept to myself and was nice to everyone. At the end of the year, everyone respected me because I had more knowledge than all of them put together and not only respected everyone but also helped them with their shit.
Instead of focusing on other people, focus on improving yourself. Workout if you want to. Take care of your appearance but keep it levelled with a good cultural formation. Do your own thing. At the end of the day, no one cares about anyone else so, why would you bother about that whole alpha-beta bullshit?
If you want to impress the girls, work on your charm rather than your muscles. Most girls I know would choose charm over anything else.
>Is it possible to find a middle ground?
Yes. It's call confidence.
Alpha's are generally arrogant and over confident.
Beta's are neither and lack confidence.
and >>17175538 has some good points.
>>17175538
Listen to this guy, OP. He has a good perspective worth considering.
>>17175538
>>17175541
So basically I have to stop concerning myself with the opinions of others?
>>17175550
I'm not saying you should completely disregard public opinion about you. I'd be a hypocrite if I said that, considering I take care of my hygiene with an almost obsessive zeal and try to smell nice for the sake of people around me.
But mostly, just do your own thing. You'll always be criticised no matter what you do. Just act according to your beliefs and conscience.
As long as you're satisfied with who you are and you're able to contribute with some happiness to other people's lives, that's what matters.
>>17175500
>>17175550
you want to be someone rather than become someone. most self-diagnosed alphas aren't alphas at all, like the other poster said they are just copies of one another.
they define alpha by a set of characteristics, and people strive to achieve those characteristics so they're simply fitting in a mold to be accepted by society. they literally give their agency to other people and let them choose what they can and cannot do in order to be accepted/liked, or "alpha"
i don't know how any one could define alpha as letting others decide for you, but it's common in today's world and even on this site. i personally think that the only true alpha does not care about being alpha.
essentially you need to work on yourself for yourself and create a name for yourself, not become what others perceive as acceptable or traditionally masculine. i'm not telling you this because i preach self-expression or a no judgement zone or care much about social equality. i'm just saying that in the end a real man does not care about what real men do and everything is up to you, not others
>>17175500
Dont try, look for yourself but dont be an ashole
>>17175500
Be nice, but don't be afraid to have your own opinions
Be nice. Don't let people fuck with you and put them in their place if they cross the line. Fuck them if don't like it when you defend yourself, that creates respect; letting people know that they don't get away with messing with you
