Basically, I'm just about to consciously hurt/cuck myself and I know its wrong but I can't walk away from it
Basically
>Beginning of semester
>meet qt
>hit it off great
>she's the embodiment of everything I could ever look for in somebody
>it doesnt pan out
So the semester is over and because I still have these feels I asked her if she wanted to do something just because its probably the last time we'd see each other. I know it wont work out but I asked anyway. She insists on bringing a friend, and I agreed even though I met the person once and I thought he just wasn't cool. She also seemed reluctant but agreed to do something low key nyway.
Point is, I know this is easily the worst thing I could possibly have done and that I should just stop and let this fade away, but I really felt set on hanging out one last time because she actually was cool and I like having closure. Please help me convince me that I should just cancel on her tomorrow. I know if I do this, she'll linger in my thoughts a lot longer than I like
yeah just cancel no point in putting ur self thru misery mate.
unless u really want that closure.
>>17173174
I do, but I'd much rather her not bringing someone with. I think this all fell apart roughly around the time I met the person she's taking. I know this is easily the worst fucking thing I could do to myself but shit man I actually did really enjoy talking to her even when it fell apart, like she was genuinely cool at a time where I've lost so many friends
>>17173153
>Please help me convince me that I should just cancel on her tomorrow.
Canel it dude. All you're going to do is embarrass yourself. Just think of it like this
> do activity
> everyone uncomfortable
> when it's over and they're walking away she say
> "thank god I never have to see him again"
> he says "yeah, uncomfortable and creepy"
>>17173178
>I do, but I'd much rather her not bringing someone with
What is closure? Confirming it's over and saying goodbye. Nah. Closure is when you say to yourself you don't need s/he any more and you don't miss them. Then you have closure.
>anything else is self torture and desperate floundering
>>17173190
You're absolutely right and I didnt even consider your greentext. I suppose it'd be better to at least be just that guy that didnt happen instead of some creepy fuck to her, its just that some retarded part of me wants to try to rework this into friendship even though that'd be absolutely disastrous to my psyche and really unattainable at this point. The logical part of me knows to just stop now since shit has been over for weeks now, but that part of me that built her up so high wont let go. I gues all I really wanted is for people here to call me a fag or something for trying to prolong the inevitable as a way to validate what I know but cant accept.
Thanks though, that greentext scenario really is something. I guess it all boils down to the fact that while I was nothing to her, she was something to me
