>know a girl for two years
>she confessed being in love with me more than a year ago
>don't feel the same but I lead her on anyways
>usually very flirty with her and have kissed her once
>last night we got incredibly drunk and hooked up
>she says I love you at least twice
>still making out with her even after we were sobered up
>still have no desire for her to be my gf, despite finding her somewhat attractive and an amazing personality
>told her she should stop talking to me after what I did
>she says it'd be too painful
It's basically up to me to cut her off so she can stop having an asshole in her life who plays with her heart, but aside from the lack of romantic interest she really does mean a lot to me. Please advise.
She cares about you, it seems. Do you care about her?
Also, you lucky bastard, she actually cares about you.
I don't see a problem u find her attractive and she has a good personality.
r u interested in more attractive women? Is that it?
>>17173100
I do, but I don't love her back.
>>17173147
Problem is I have no desire to make her my girlfriend, she's in love with me, and I led her on/am actively leading her on
>>17173149
Not necessarily. I can't say why I'm not (emotionally) attracted to her.
>>17173157
You HAVE made it clear that you have no romantic feelings towards her, right?
>>17173164
I have in words, but like in OP my actions completely betray that.
>>17173095
You're a shit yes and you should cut contact or just keep a distance from her
You wouldn't want that to happeb to you so why do it? Hurting a person who loves you just for sex or making out and leading them on while crushing their spirit is evil
Man the amount of friends who got so fucked up by it is ridiculous and sad
>>17173157
>i can't say why
then we can't help you
withholding information never works to your benefit
>>17173157
>I do, but I don't love her back.
What is love? It ain't a feeling. It is actions. You care for her and are willing to be a good bf to her? => You do love her.
Confusing love with a vague feeling is romanticist BS.
>>17173562
Have you seen this >>17173365 thread?
>>17173582
No. But someone confusing initial hormon spikes that want to make the human ape procreate for the decision and behavior that is love won't change my opinion.
>>17173589
I just thought you might want to go help that anon out.
>>17173599
Ah, ok, good idea.
>>17173562
>>17173582
>>17173589
You guys realise that love isnt this all powerful universal force
And its just your brain entering attachment mode to your partner once you've been fucking and together for a while, so you stay together and protect your offspring right?
All those crazy feelings like butterflies and gut punches and being short of breath and stuff, thats infautation. Where you find someone so attractive your hormones are spiking and your entire body is demanding you go fuck them and stay with them
Then obviously after doing that for a while the attachment forms and the honeymoon period ends and you're in the dependent phase where you dont quite feel the same infatuation but you still want them around all the time because it feels good
>>17173166
>>17173157
>>17173095
OP I would be very careful you aren't making a mistake
Ive had similar experiences to you and trust me, its very easy to fool yourself into thinking "Im not feeling what I think love feels like, so we must not be right for each other" and then regret it later on down the line when you realise
>Shit, an attractive girl fucking loved me and I didnt want it, what was I thinking
If you're attracted to her
And you obviously care about how she feels to not want to hurt her
And you get on with her (you can actually hang out as friends, you actually enjoy each others company) then maybe you should just give it a shot
Start dating her. See how you feel
>>17173095
i'd keep fucking her
you're going to end up hurting her anyways, might as well have some good times together first.
>>17173549
I'm not withholding info, I just don't know why. On the shallowest level, on some days she's really attractive and other days she's hideous. It swings wildly.
>>17173562
>>17173643
The same idea kept me with my ex-gf for three years when we should've broken it off a year in. The idea "maybe I do love her because xyz", caring about her well-being, finding her attractive, but just not feeling love, or being able to say it.
Also, she's not from here. She was studying abroad here for a year, and is leaving for at least a year. She's going in a few weeks, which is partially why I let myself get so drunk and the hookup happened
>>17173095
Women often enjoy creating guilt in guys. She might be playing a power game with you, intentionally or unconsciously. Take that into account. Once you give in to her seemingly innocent demands she might not be so in love to you any more and turn into a controlling bitch. It's already a red flag that you told her the situation straight out but she kept playing innocent as if she has no idea she is doing anything.
