How can I be less of a bitter person?
I never let go of things where I feel I've been wronged or dicked in some way, even years later. I'm worried its consuming me. For example, I fell out with my peice of shit dad a while back and have found myself thinking about the situation pretty much daily. I would like to be able to forget about that situation and other situations in the past where I have been wronged.
Anyone got any tips, or am I just a bitter idiot?
Man. Same exact problem. I'm 30 and I still hold grudges from when I was 12.
Just had a friend fuck me over a couple months ago, and I want to forgive her and not think about it every time I see her, but I don't know how.
Bamp
>>17158409
I feel your pain. The situation with your friend- do you think about it daily like I do?
>>17158432
Yeah pretty much. We were close for almost 6 years, so it's tough to get through a day without being reminded of her and subsequently how bitter and angry I still am.
>>17158371
Is dat my nigga blade?
>>17158409
>Just had a friend fuck me over
>her
LoL cuck
>>17158450
So to me your behaviour seems normal, but yeah I'd just like to be able to forget about their dickery
>>17158456
It's dat guy Wesley McSnipes
>>17158371
this brought up a lot of thoughts so I'm gonna throw some out there and maybe some of them will help.
for me, it seemed to help to remember that I've wronged people too, often without realising what a shitheel I was being. everybody does shitty things. some people do a lot of shitty things.
you can't do anything about the past. when there are painful things in the past, this can be hard to accept. what helped me was realising the difference between accepting vs. being okay with. accepting the fact that something happened isn't the same as being accepting of it in a moral sense. but we use the same word for both things (I accept this, this is acceptable behaviour, etc). consciously you can distinguish the two but often the brain files them away the same, so unconsciously you end up conflating them. for me, realising that I could accept past events without having to give them a stamp of approval helped.
it's also easy to resort to being judgmental when thinking back on past events because being judgmental makes painful things easier to process, at least in the short run. it becomes like a pic in photoshop that's had its palette reduced too far and the colours are distorted from oversimplifying. then the more you think about it and repeat those judgments, the more your head becomes an echo chamber for those thoughts, and the bitterness just grows as the echoes become louder.
learn to separate your judgments about an event from the event itself. google "radical acceptance" which is a concept in dialectical behavioural therapy. it's something you can do on your own, and it's simple in concept but hard to actually do. you can find exercises online that help you do it. dbt is used to treat personality disorders and other mental illness, but you don't have to have mental illness to use it.
>>17158562
Thanks for writing up a detailed response, I'll look into what you have suggested
>>17158460
Hard as this may be to believe for the average juvenile fucktard on /adv/, it is actually possible for men and women to be friends without sex or orbiting behavior to come into it.
We met through other friends who needed room mates and bonded over being the only responsible goddamn adults in the property.
Later we bonded over video games and literature too. I'll admit I was attracted to her, but she's gay and I'm experienced enough to know when something can or can't happen. So I dated around and fucked women and we remained close friends who played vidya and joked around.
Then she gets a girlfriend and pulls a vanishing act. We dont ever hang out, she doesn't ever initiate a conversation despite still being room mates and for the first time since we met, she fails to keep promises or her word. Final straw was when she fucked me out of a few hundred bucks to go run off with her girlfriend and get a house a while back.
Shit, I'm not even mad about the money (I'd have loaned or even given it to her if she'd asked), I'm just mad at being lied to (via omission) and then when she tried to manipulate me after I called her on it, that sealed it.
Cuckery doesn't enter into it /b/ro. Getting my dick sucked later tonight, had it sucked last night, probably get it sucked again tomorrow. Doing just fine in the alpha/beta bullshit department. I just want to know how to let this anger and bitterness go.
