Self destruction
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Anybody has some good advice on how to deal with this?
I want one of my eyes gone, preferably the right one.
If anybody has a good idea on how I could arrange that, help would be appreciated.
If someone has a good idea how to overcome this, help would also be appreciated.
If someone has a similar experience/thoughts help would also be appreciated
So like Odin you are willing to sacrifice your right eye to gain knowledge?
That's pretty hardcore, but I feel ya.
>>17154282
Just wear an eye patch in case you regret it later.
>>17154282
Gauge your eye out already. JUST DO IT!
>>17154282
see a psychiatrist or a therapist please. if you can't afford one, contact your local human services department or mental health department.
Is this me in a parallel universe, id say, get help NOW and dont do it.
>>17154399
>>17154456
Been resisting this for a while now, the desire is just so strong that I can't do anything without feeling terrible about my eye still being there. No idea what I should say to a psychiatrist though. Also scared of being sent to the psych ward
DONT DO IT YOU IDIOT! CALM YOUR MIND AND FIND BETTER PROBLEMS TO WORRY ABOUT
>>17154468
lmao not that easy. If there was a method, that is not that scary/painful I would get rid of this shit right now.
It even fucking disgusts me to see it whenever I look into the mirror. I just want it gone, it can't be that hard
I doubt there is, but is there any country out there that allows the surgical removal of body parts by will?
If a psychiatrist/therapist or whatever browses this board, help out please
Just get an eye patch if you don't wanna see it, don't gouge your eye out like a dumbass.
>>17154608
I can still feel it though, like it actually needs to be gone
>>17154282
First, I'd buy some type of opioid to ease the pain while you do this (only get one or two pills if you take the pharmaceutical route; if you have to buy a street drug like heroin, take very little and DO NOT inject it). Opiates are very addictive but extremely effective at treating pain; once you complete the operation however, you should use a street drug that is less addictive to cope with the pain of your recovery, such as marijuana. It is important to note that you should already be prepared to do the operation when the drug is ingested, simply because it will become increasingly difficult to commit the operation as the drug takes effect. I would begin as soon as the drug starts to take hold before you become too inhibited.
I should also mention that it is not safe to make an incision on the eye for two reasons:
-There is a substantial risk of bleeding out/getting the wound infected. The latter case can easily prove just as fatal, due to adjacency to the brain and inability for the head to be amputated.
-It is more difficult than movies would lead you to believe to remove an eye. The eye has the consistency of a very soft water balloon filled with jello, and when popped it becomes a squishy soup that proves difficult to neatly remove without leaving unseemly chunks.
Rather than making an incision, I would recommend using a rag soaked in methanol. You can find pure methanol on Amazon for under 20 USD. With the rag as a filter, gradually apply methanol to the eye; carelessness or failure to do this gradually will cause blindness in both eyes. It would be best to do this standing up, with your head tilted upward and to the right in order to prevent the methanol from contacting your left eye. This will either cause partial or permanent blindness in your right eye; continue applying the procedure as needed until the desired results are achieved.
You can then get the dead eye removed at a hospital, or come back here to be told how.
>>17154282
Can you tell me what exactly is it about your right eye that makes you want to remove it? Not judging anything here, just want to talk to you about it. It's your eye and your decision. How long have you been having these urges? Have the urges become more intense lately?
>>17154691
How could you suggest this
pour drain cleaner in it if you want to go blind in it.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/woman-arranges-for-psychologist-to-pour-drain-cleaner-in-her-eyes-after-fantasising-about-being-a6676546.html
>>17154737
I answered his question, unlike you
>>17154462
>No idea what I should say to a psychiatrist though
Err, telling him that you really want to take your eye out, help me out before I do it for real, for example
>>17154739
>that link
what in the fucking name of christ
she had a fucking fetish to go blind? what the fuck happened to my country
>>17154817
I don't want them to 'stop' me from doing it, I'd rather have them arrange a surgery for it to be removed (I know it's not going to happen, just wishes).
This sounds retarded, since I wish to get help for this, but any legal option won't satisfy me.
>>17154826
It's not a fetish
>>17154691
Cheers for the help. I'd have thought that it'd be much simpler to call an ambulance and just make some shit up to why my eye popped, before actually popping it.
Anyways I'd definitely choose option 2. Although being scared of going blind on both eyes, I think this is a much better route to go. How high is the pain factor of methanol in the eye? How exactly would this procedure be done? (Just carefully touching the eye with the rag?) How long does this procedure take?
How do I explain this to the hospital?
Cheers for your helpful advice, there's methanol in our bathroom, might be able to do it this evening
>>17154989
>>17154691
Also, do I apply the methanol to the pupil, the iris, the white part or all of them.
Is it more or less guaranteed to keep my other eye in tact when tilting my head?
Am about to sleep, is it against /adv/ rules to post equal threads in a short period of time, in case
>>17154691
won't reply before this one archives itself?
I need this shit out of my skull and I'm so close to it, I don't want any risk left of me not getting this done
>>17154989
Just by curiosity, why do want to do it? Is it a recent thought? Did you have any weird thoughts like this? Do you have Trichotillomania?
>>17155073
please can you explain why you feel this way about your eye?
>>17155073
>>17155002
>>17154989
Apologies for the late response.
>Does it hurt?
Immensely.
>How is this procedure done?
Extremely gradually. The methanol must be applied slowly. It is better to not apply enough than to apply too much and lose both eyes or die from blood toxicity. Letting a soaked rag rest on the eye would probably be best simply because it allows for better control of dosage.
Your eyes are very absorbent; the idea here is to let the methanol seep in to damage the eye. DO NOT apply too much or be careless, because doing so will cause blindness at best and kill you at worst.
>How long does the procedure take?
A good question. There are a lot of variables, such as how much is applied, the potency of the dose, the absorbency of the eye, along with a myriad of other things.
>How do I explain this to the hospital?
Tell them you had it sitting on a shelf and you bumped into it, spilling it into your eyes.
>There's methanol in my bathroom
It is preferable to buy pure unopened methanol.
>>17155002
>Where do I apply it?
Let it seep into and around the sides of the eye. Ultimately, it will be absorbed regardless of where it sinks in.
>Is it guaranteed to keep my other eye intact by tilting my head?
There is nothing guaranteed by this procedure. It is possible to lose both eyes, regardless of how much is applied; however, your other eye is more likely to survive the endeavor intact if you minimize its contact with the methanol.
Don't fucking do it you bloody twat. You'll regret it forever. Don't do it. Don t do it. Please dont do it.
>>17155104
>>17155127
It's really hard to explain, it feels like it just shouldn't be there. It disgusts me to know that it sits in my skull. Each time I see it, each time I see with it, each time I feel it moving. It needs to be gone, I simply can't deal with it anymore, as I lose all focus whenever I try to do something, because of my mind wandering to how shit it is to carry this around with me. I hope this makes any sense to you.
>>17155283
I highly doubt I'll regret it, unless I go completely blind. At this point I feel like even that would be better than having vision on it.
>>17155210
>>17155246
Thank you so much, I've never been this close to getting rid of it. The only part that really scares me is the pain, but it's worth it I guess. I will probably grab methanol later/from amazon then, and hope for my best.
Is there anything else I need to know, such as how aftercare works in this case, or how to reduce the pain? Don't get me wrong, I'll do it regardless, it would just be a pleasure not to go through as much pain. Thanks again for legitimately helping me out, I wished for it, but hardly expected a reply like this to be honest.
Btw. how do you have as much knowledge about the human organs in combinations with chemicals? Do you/did you study medicine or did you just read it up online? Just asking because I find it very interesting
>You're retarded
I realize that this is probably difficult to understand for others, but I can't stop wishing it'd be gone. I need it to be out of my skull, I need to be blind on that eye. It's a deep wish that I've had for some time, and I'm very close to success. If anybody has any questions I'll gladly try to answer them though. I haven't been as hopeful as I am right now for a long time.
>>17156313
>>17155210
One more thing: Is there a reason why I couldn't use painkillers when applying the methanol?
>>17154282
See a therapist. Go see a fucking therapist. Don't go ripping your eye out before seeing one; it won't hurt to do so. It's not like you won't be able to trash your right eye after you see one. If you still want to do it afterwards, then so be it.
Follow your dreams OP, don't let the haters stop you!
>>17156313
I see, it looks like Body dysmorphic disorder. Now can you answer my other questions?
> Is it a recent thought? Did you have any weird thoughts like this? Do you have Trichotillomania?
And when did it begin?
That is a severe borderline disorder OP.
It's hard and take time to be dealed with but know that it isn't a fatality.
2: your eye wont be enough, you might think it will fix everything but you'll end up mutilating another part of your body soon after.
Get help, you need it.
>>17156313
>It's really hard to explain, it feels like it just shouldn't be there. It disgusts me to know that it sits in my skull. Each time I see it, each time I see with it, each time I feel it moving. It needs to be gone, I simply can't deal with it anymore, as I lose all focus whenever I try to do something, because of my mind wandering to how shit it is to carry this around with me. I hope this makes any sense to you.
I hope you realize that this is a legitimate mental illness and that you should seek help, rather than actually remove your eye. Surely you're not so far gone that you can't realize this.
>>17154989
>I don't want them to 'stop' me from doing it, I'd rather have them arrange a surgery for it to be removed (I know it's not going to happen, just wishes).
>This sounds retarded, since I wish to get help for this, but any legal option won't satisfy me.
Nobody is going to do this, you'd have to do it yourself. It make a lot more sense to see someone to make it so that you don't mind your eye anymore. Like obviously this is a relatively recent thought you have, you weren't born hating your eyeball.
>>17156812
>>17157005
It's more or less just the fear of being sent to psych ward + as
>>17157023 said, no one will commit to do this for me. The thought of going to a doctor who might just tell me that my thoughts are due to a mental illness, isn't something I can really accept. It'd be as if you went to somebody who'd tell you that walking isn't normal and would try to convince you into the same mindset. I know it's definitely not normal to wish a part of your body gone, but this is how it feels like.
Aside from that I have no idea how i'd approach them. I couldn't imagine just walking in there and telling them that I want my eye gone. It seems much simpler + more fulfilling to let my desire take over.
>>17157004
I doubt this, there are people who wanted their legs gone, and once they were, they were completely satisfied.
I never had any problems with harming myself, aside from rarely cutting my arms about 5 years ago. Plus I'm not seeking any pain in it, in fact I try to avoid it.
>>17156980
>Is it a recent thought?
I wanted this for quite some time. I don't recall when it exactly started, but it was definitely during my teenage years (14-16y/o I guess) Its certainly been a couple pf years.
>did you have any weird thoughts like this?
Not sure what you mean. If you're talking about wanting to remove another part of my body: no.
>do you have trichotillomania?
No, how is it related to this though?
Something I do is keep ripping skin of open wounds I have. This might not be related to your question, but I thought I'd mention it anyways.
>>17154691
>>17155210
Few more things:
Would ethanol work as well?
Is the rag specifically used to filter the methanol in a certain way? Could I also just put one or a few drops into my eye, close it, and just move it around until it dies? I realize you specifically mentioned the rag though, I'm just asking out of curiosity.
>>17157311
Op, some of those people have found doctors willing to remove their legs.
Get help, don't put methanol in your eye. It's stupid, the pain will make your eyes cry and water, you will most likely not be able to go through with it and in the end be there in agony with fucked up vision and your eye still there.
>>17157311
Well your thoughts ARE due to mental illness so get over yourself and get psychiatric help before you go halfway blind.
>>17157321
I would rather take fucked up vision than what I have right now. In fact I would be glad to cripple that eye, smash it to shit. I hate it so much. I do believe however that there's a pretty good chance of me pulling this through.
>>17157361
But why would I, if all I want is to be halfway blind and get rid of my eye, go to the doctor and tell them they should stop me from getting rid of it?
>>17156313
>>17157311
Again, sorry for the late response. I'm very busy.
>Would ethanol work as well?
No.
>Is the rag used a certain way?
Not really.
>Is there a reason I can't use painkillers?
You can use them if you choose to; doing so however will gradually impair your ability to successfully commit the procedure. You will find it increasingly difficult to focus, to judge the correct dosage, to judge whether it is working, and a myriad of other issues as the drugs take effect.
>Could I also just put one or a few drops into my eye, close it, and just move it around until it dies?
Of course. For example, you could use a dropper to the same effect. Again, this procedure is less likely to kill you or cause blindness in both eyes if done gradually.
>How do you know about this?
I know a lot of things.
>>17157571
Not entirely certain whether painkillers or not yet, but I guess I'll go the dropper route w/ methanol. I keep forgetting to ask stuff, what would you recommend as a minimum ammount of methanol to start off with? And by what amount should I increase the methanol each time I get one dosage into my eye?
This is about everything I need to know I guess. Standing straight up, head tilted to the right, correct? Really just don't want to blind my left eye as well.
>>17157612
This is the last question I will answer for now.
There is no "minimum" amount, really. Almost any amount is potentially dangerous, and how much it will effect you is dependent the potency of the methanol, the way it is applied, your metabolism, how dry your eyes are, and other factors. I should reiterate that doing this incorrectly will potentially blind you in both eyes or kill you; you have been warned.
It's not worth it. You will eventually want it back.
>>17157657
I do know, what I tried to state is that my goal is not to blind both of my eyes/dying whenever I kill my right one.
Thanks for all your help, will do this as soon as I get the chance to
There's one last thing I'm curious about, but since
>>17157657
isn't up for answering anymore, I'd appreciate any input.
Is there a recommended after care to be done once I kill the eye? In case I don't go to the hospital since it isn't of much importance as it was mentioned in this post
>>17154691
Such as using a sepcific medication that is useful for such procedures, or covering the eye for a certain amount of time.
Again, would appreciate any input
