Ok hears the deal, I asked a girl to a big dance thingy that my school is hosting. Its kinda like a prom but in collage. I missed my high school prom and regret it thats why I asked this girl. I asked her after class when everybody left, (because I didn't want to embarrass) and I knew she always took a long time to clean he things up. She said "I dont know if I'm going to the dance yet." But giggled and smiled all the way though. Shes a really nice, kind girl and I don't think she would make fun of me for asking. I'm like a 4-5/10 and shes like a 7.5/10. I have at least one class with her every day. So its inevitable that I'm going to see her again. She also went to another event like this alone.
>What should I do/ask her when we are in class?
I'm not good at this kind of stuff.
Verbatim I asked "I'm not that good at this kind of thing, but it would be a pleasure if I could escort you to the dance."
On a separate note I don't have a car because its tight for me and nobody can let me use theirs because work.
>How do I try to work that out too if she says yes?
-The way you asked it was really passive.
- Wait until it gets closer and ask if she's made a decision.
- If she agrees: because you don't have a car, just agree to meet there.
How old are you?
>>17134448
>i already asked her out
>how do i ask her out?
if im not reading this wrong, you asked
>im not good at tihs kind of thing, but it would be a pleasure if i could escort you to the dance.
saying 'i dont know if im going to the dance yet' is a no. the reason she worded it this way is so that if she does go to the dance she can be like 'OH YEAH I DECIDED TO GO AT THE LAST MINUTE, TOTALLY FORGOT TO TELL YOU'
never open with 'im not that good at this kind of thing'.
>>17134463
Im 19. I really do like her but she cute and nice but I dont want to see her alone at the dance or not go at all because I know its something I regretted and so did some other friends.
>>17134484
>i dont want to see her alone at the dance
so you'd force her to go with you? maybe shed rather go alone than with you? or shes waiting for a guy she actually likes to go?
i dont mean to be mean but you are acting like shes this lonely girl who will have a horribel time alone. if she goes she'll have lots of guys asking her to dance.
should I proceed at all? Like just slide her my number or something? I don't want to pressure her, but if I don't do something the chance gets worse and worse.
>>17134492
No I wouldn't force her.
>>17134484
Chances of her going "alone" are actually rather slim. She probably has friends that are going too if she does go. You may be referencing her going without a date, but women can do that. Men can do that too, to be fair.
Again the best course of action for you at this point is to check again with her when it's closer to the dance, and if she says no or is still indecisive, take it as a 'no', and move on.
Don't be mad or upset, just accept it. Go anyways if you want to and have a good time. If you feel sour about it just remember that you don't have any actual investment in this person other then you see her in school. It doesn't actually change anything.
>>17134483
No the problem was I asked her and she gave me a maybe answer. I want to know what I should do when confronting her about it tomorrow. I might have a chance if I don't blow it now.
>>17134500
Don't give her your number. If she agrees to go with you, say "let me get your number" or something similar. Take the lead, don't expect her to.
>>17134528
You seem particularly attached to the idea of going with this girl. I'll be honest, there's a good chance you won't. You need to accept that now or you'll be setting yourself up for a bigger let down. It happens to everyone.
>>17134527
I know that but I just don't want to be pathetic. When I went to the earlier in the year dance I felt depressed for a week because I was like one of the only ones to not have a date/dance with someone.
>>17134528
did you ust ignore the part where i explained that her 'maybe' is a no?
>>17134550
I feel like I'm talking to a younger version of myself right now.
When you get older you'll look back and feel a little nostalgia/embarrassment/humor to the situation really. You're not that far off of high school and coming from a similar perspective in the past I can see where you're coming from. I'll tell you now that it -does not matter-.
You managed to ask her (in a kind of passive way again, but you'll improve with time), which puts you ahead of some others even really, so bravo. But how well do you really know this girl? How long have you been in classes together and how long have you spoken to her? What have you spoken about besides school-related stuff?
Right now you'll probably be thinking up some cute date involving the dance and where it might lead past that, but how much have you talked to her and seen her smile, and how much has she made you smile in conversation? How much have you made each other laugh?
If she had a hidden camera that followed you around for a month, ask yourself: would she really be interested in a life corresponding with that?
A big part of life comes from experience really. Right now it's obvious you aren't experienced at dating or asking people out. Maybe not even that experienced at conversation with people (don't mean to offend). You might feel socially awkward but it gets better with practice. You just have to find the will to practice. That's why I'm saying you need to just be ready for a rejection if it comes, and be prepared to move on without skipping a beat.
The dance is next week on Sat. I haven't gotten a suit yet because I was hoping to going with atleast someone and I'd like to match them. So I'm stressed about that too. Whats a good color that matchies everything? I was thinking of wearing something like in the pic. But black pants and shirt with a dark blue vest and tie, or black shirt and pants with a orange vest and a dark blue tie.
>>17134627
Are you sure it's a formal ball?
belt, tie, and shoes need to match. Else it looks tacky. Have the vest and pants match as well then, the shirt is where you can mix it up within reason.
>>17134627
>Orange vest
Are orange and blue your school colors, and is this a school pride type of celebration? Otherwise, god no
>>17134624
I never really talked to her outside of school. I am kinda passive about talking specifically to girls because I always get nervous and stutter. For the smile part every once in a while when she would look at me she would smile. I would sit there in class and look over because I can feel when people are looking at me and when I do she would smile. She knows I exist and who I am but other than that there's really nothing else.
>>17134652
No they are not our school colors but I can go navy blue pants vest, with a black tie, shirt and belt.
Because shes Latino and I'm white my friends don't give me advice just kind of make fun of me thats why I came to you guys.
Just kinda throwing that in.
