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I know it's pathetic to ask this on an anonymous image board from people who doesn't even know me. But I really need someone's opinion cause I've been unhappy for a long time and I'm constantly torn apart between doing what's right and doing something to chase happiness.

I'm 21 years old and this is my first year in college. I'm studying on a wrong field, kinda. I'm studying business administration, but I actually should have studied marketing. I just didn't realize that until during my first year in college.

I'm too much of a pussy to apply for another university, cause I already got student debt and if I started all over again, I'd lose that 15k I've invested in my current uni and I'd lost one year of studying too.

So I guess what's smart is to push through this degree. But I really hate studying. I got too much spare time which I spent doing nothing. I'm not happy, I can't live in a moment and I always feel like like I'm trying to wait for my life to begin. I never feel like I'm home, happy with myself, doing what I love. I've been moving around a bit and I feel like that things and people come and go.

I don't know what to do, with my life or with anything. I know I should get a degree and focus my energy fully on that, but because I'm not happy or even mildly satisfied, everyday is a bit of a struggle. I've read all the self-help books and articles, but something is just missing. I got no passion for my studies or my life.