Im going hrough a tough time right now and he has supported me through it and been super nice and i really couldnt ask for anything more.
But the thing is, whenever i feel sad, he also feels sad and i feel bad for bringing this upon him. I usually pretend to be happy sometimes when he asks. Is this bad communication? I just feel like i dont want to bother him with my sadness and problems, and latley ive been feeling more down than usual.
Also, am i protecting our relationship for doing this?
You make people worry more when you hide things. If your partner knows you well enough, they know somethings up from the way you act. But they don't want to fight about it so they don't say anything.
It doesn't protect your relationship, it builds a wall in the middle of it.
No not everytime it will put him off u...my ex is that way for that exact reason stress depression watever got bored of hearing it
If he is a nurturing type sure. Some people enjoy comforting others. If he chose you because you need to be fixed up and he's working on you as a project because he wants to help someone and take care of them then maybe he might want to hear it. Lots of people wouldn't though
That is bad communication, you shouldn't lie. If he's asking, it's because he wants to know. If you don't want to bother him with details, yet still need emotional support, it's as simple as telling him that you need a hug, you don't always need to bring him down with the details.
The important point is that you try to work through this sadness. I don't mind giving somebody a shoulder to cry on, but I can't emotional support that person forever. I think that's true of most people. Of course it's difficult to be happy when your SO is sad, but at the same time, you really just want to help them more than anything because you love them.
TL;DR: Be independent to some point, but don't be afraid to confide in him when it becomes too much to handle.
Sorry to say this, but you'll be a burden to him especially since you say it affects him.
I went through the same thing as you until my ex became numb to my sadness and blamed me for his lack of fulfillment in the relationship. Maybe he was right. Eventually he let go of me in my worst of moments.
It's good to occasionally tell him when you're sad, especially sad, or let him know what you said that you're feeling more down than usual at the moment. But don't vent it all out on him everytime, maybe find a therapist or someone else who won't be influenced by your mood so strongly. Also try to not act sad with or around him. It's only going to bring him down as well if by listening to you your mood doesn't lift somehow.
Don't learn the hard way that the only one who can support and care for you unconditionally, is you.
>>17125407
Thank you, this was really helpful anon. Sometimes Its hard to limit your emotions infront of others, but youre totally right
everyone has been really helpful in this thread and i really appriciate it <3
