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Anonymous
2016-05-09 03:01:17 Post No. 17124292
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Anonymous
2016-05-09 03:01:17
Post No. 17124292
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I want to tell my family or someone that I'm depressed and don't know what to do
I've been on and off depressed for a couple years now, throughout a week I'd have maybe 2 good days and 5 shitty days. The thing is, university's done now until september and I have nothing to do for the next couple of months but sit at home and rot, and I Can feel the depression just getting worse and worse...
Lately I think about suicide alot, how I'd do it, if I'd leave a note or message or not, how it would make others around me feel, should I wait out my parent's lives and then do it or just do it now
I've been trying to keep my spirits up by continuing my workouts (I'm in kind of ok shape) but week by week I'm losing motivation to lift, what used to be an hour and a half full workout is now 10 minutes and then giving up and calling it
I just don't see the point in my life, I'm kind of a fuck up. I didn't get into university until very recently and I'm 25 years old. I've never had a girlfriend or any kind of intimate relationship and probably never will. I've never had an actual legitimate job and I can't find one no matter how much I apply.
I look around at couples and it makes me so sad, something so basically human that I can't experience. And it will only get worse as I get older
I find myself asking why, what's the point, I won't ever have a job I enjoy, I won't ever have a girlfriend or a wife, or even a family of my own, its all just pointless pain
Most of my days now consist of numbing myself with video games and porn but I'm starting to enjoy those even less as well
I don't know what to do anymore, I can't tell anyone in real life that would just create too many problems and my family already has financial problems as it is
You know that feeling of falling asleep? The emptiness that you don't remember? Unconsciousness, that's what I want. I just want to permanently sleep