I want to tell my family or someone that I'm depressed and

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Anonymous
2016-05-09 03:01:17 Post No. 17124292
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Anonymous 2016-05-09 03:01:17 Post No. 17124292 [Report]

I want to tell my family or someone that I'm depressed and don't know what to do

I've been on and off depressed for a couple years now, throughout a week I'd have maybe 2 good days and 5 shitty days. The thing is, university's done now until september and I have nothing to do for the next couple of months but sit at home and rot, and I Can feel the depression just getting worse and worse...

Lately I think about suicide alot, how I'd do it, if I'd leave a note or message or not, how it would make others around me feel, should I wait out my parent's lives and then do it or just do it now

I've been trying to keep my spirits up by continuing my workouts (I'm in kind of ok shape) but week by week I'm losing motivation to lift, what used to be an hour and a half full workout is now 10 minutes and then giving up and calling it

I just don't see the point in my life, I'm kind of a fuck up. I didn't get into university until very recently and I'm 25 years old. I've never had a girlfriend or any kind of intimate relationship and probably never will. I've never had an actual legitimate job and I can't find one no matter how much I apply.

I look around at couples and it makes me so sad, something so basically human that I can't experience. And it will only get worse as I get older

I find myself asking why, what's the point, I won't ever have a job I enjoy, I won't ever have a girlfriend or a wife, or even a family of my own, its all just pointless pain

Most of my days now consist of numbing myself with video games and porn but I'm starting to enjoy those even less as well

I don't know what to do anymore, I can't tell anyone in real life that would just create too many problems and my family already has financial problems as it is

You know that feeling of falling asleep? The emptiness that you don't remember? Unconsciousness, that's what I want. I just want to permanently sleep

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Anonymous 2016-05-09 03:08:40 Post No.17124313
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Anonymous 2016-05-09 03:08:40 Post No.17124313 [Report]

>>17124292
>are you me

I'm going to bed after this, because it's 4am, but I live by myself (ie, no friends or family) and I can tell you; porn makes you feel worse, and setting yourself daily goals and meeting them makes you feel better. Porn will depress you more, so just get it over and done with. Don't jack off for hours.

So, keep working out. That's good, I do it too, I've got weights at home and a freezer stocked full of chicken and a cupboard full of bread and vegetables. But you want to mix it up. Add in some reading, be it for your degree or for pleasure.

>week by week I'm losing motivation to lift, what used to be an hour and a half full workout is now 10 minutes and then giving up and calling it
Are you recording your progress? Do that, it gives you motivation. Seeing yourself get better and better makes you feel better.

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Anonymous 2016-05-09 03:11:28 Post No.17124321
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Anonymous 2016-05-09 03:11:28 Post No.17124321 [Report]

>>17124313
cont

And videogames are shit, too. I don't have any friends, and videogames these days are meant to be played with friends or they're fucking depressing as shit.

The important thing to remember is, we're still young, and still have the rest of our lives.

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Anonymous 2016-05-09 03:15:42 Post No.17124332
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Anonymous 2016-05-09 03:15:42 Post No.17124332 [Report]

if the depression gets too bad try anti depressants and maybe some therapy.

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Anonymous 2016-05-09 03:16:39 Post No.17124338
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Anonymous 2016-05-09 03:16:39 Post No.17124338 [Report]

>>17124321
I have friends though, and I play video games with them (although some of them are "online" friends)
>>17124313
Honestly man I've lost motivation to workout, the amount I could bench before I now struggle to make, what's the point extra muscle isn't going to make my life any better

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Anonymous 2016-05-09 04:02:22 Post No.17124486
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Anonymous 2016-05-09 04:02:22 Post No.17124486 [Report]

>>17124292
Same boat as far as telling people about my depression. The last 4 months have been great, but with school ending I can feel myself falling back into the abyss. Good luck OP.