How is it even possible to improve my confidence when EVERY girl I meet ghosts me? Every. Fucking. One. It's heartbreaking, its traumatizing. By the time I finally pull myself together from the last time i was left high and dry, I meet a new one, she seems cool like she'd never do such a thing, and then she does, after getting pretty close and sleeping in my bed nonetheless. They all are seemingly into me or at least pretending to me, then the next day I'm dead to them or never existed in the first place. All I ever get is a tease.
I get that this is just something that's always going to happen every now and then when you date, but for me it happens EVERY FUCKING TIME! and each time it happens, another piece of my self-esteem dies, which I'm sure makes me more and more unappealing.
How are you supposed to work on your confidence when it gets shit on constantly?
>>17110544
Do other things. Do you work out? Keep a healthy diet? Engage in interesting hobbies that you're passionate about?
Those are like the three pillar of self-esteem, along with your social life. Focus on yourself, not on the girls. Stop seeking them actively; you should be your top priority, not them.
And that's the problem with PUA culture, I think. They tell you to focus on yourself, but ironically they still make you build your confidence around girls, which makes you almost dependent on their response.
>>17110653
This. 100%.
Confidence is not something you build directly, but rather a byproduct of fulfillment in your life.
Dude. I'm going through the same shit. I've basically accepted a hermit life at this point. Fuck feelings.
>>17110653
I don't see how you can not want a girl. I feel fucking depressed being so lonely to the point where I just don't have the energy to do all those other things. I've been alone 99% of my life and I'm fucking sick of it. When I get a taste of what its like to have a partner only for it to always go away as soon as it arrives I feel even worse.
'Work on yourself' is a load of bullshit. That's all I ever do and I'm tired of doing it alone. It feels amazing to have a qt who's crazy about you waiting at the end of the day. Alone, everything fucking sucks!
>>17110725
Okay. Let's say that you get a qt - what will happen if she breaks up with you? All that happiness, confidence, and joy will banish. And even then, you're in love with the idea of a girl that provides emotional support, which makes her easily replaceable in some cases.
And how do you work on yourself exactly? Do you actually do things that you like to do? Do you have a healthy, active social life?
You'd be surprised about how open people in the gym are, for example; I actually met my best friend like that. And by having a passion,you can start to look for other people that have that same passion effectively improving your social life.
>>17110735
If I had a gf and she broke up with me after awhile, it would suck, but at least it would have been a good time full of happy memories I can look back on one day. I'm tired of falling for a girl and everything looking like we'll get together but it doesn't. A future is always teased but then they disappear forever.
Plus, if I had a gf, my social circle would improve. I would meet more girls, become a hot commodity to them for landing a qt. Seriously, when I go on dates I notice other girls checking me out because i'm with a pretty girl and they're competitive with each other.
If I had a gf and we broke up it would suck but I'd find someone new pretty soon and get over it.
In my shitty state right now I get ghosted and spend months of misery before I'll find a new one. My social circle sucks, friends either already have gfs so when we go out they come with and don't wingman, or my friends who don't just make me look bad. (Once a girl hit on me at a bar and wanted me to join her and her friends. When she saw my friends I was with she just left)
>>17110760
>If I had a gf and we broke up it would suck but I'd find someone new pretty soon and get over it
Exactly. You're just using other people as a means to feel better about yourself. You should instead look for that internally, not from external sources. You're just going to go through a cycle of failed relationships because you'll eventually become clingy with your GFs, and that's huge turn-off, for both girls and guys.
>My social circle sucks
Exapnd it, then; you can have more than one social circle. Look for people with similar interest. Heck, you can even look for wingmen, I guess.
I reiterate this: you care about girls too much. From what I see, you're basing the importance of your social circle and the quality of a relationship on the advantages that they provide when meeting new girls; ironically, that's a huge turn-off for gals.
>I reiterate this: you care about girls too much. From what I see, you're basing the importance of your social circle and the quality of a relationship on the advantages that they provide when meeting new girls; ironically, that's a huge turn-off for gals.
Not really. I usually go for long periods of time just 'doing me', not caring about girls, would rather do something I like that go out to try and meet girls. Then I meet someone and fall hard and get burned, then I get depressed for a long time and THEN I care too much about girls so I can meet a new one to get the special one out of my head.
If I really like somebody I don't wanna go back to the same old shit I've been doing alone. Who would want to?
